The Ringer Fantasy Football Show artwork

Week 1 Recap: Giants Dominate Dallas, Bears Drop 59, Josh Crushes Texans, Humbled Herbert, and Packers Collapse

STACKED extracted the fantasy-relevant player signal from this podcast and kept the full transcript here for context.

2 hr 16 min
Duration
Estimated from transcript
Sep 14, 2026
Published
Mon, September 14, 2026
30
Player insights
26
Players mentioned
Topics
D.J. MooreDerrick HenryJosh AllenLamar JacksonAaron RodgersBijan RobinsonBucky IrvingC.J. StroudCaleb WilliamsCeeDee LambChris OlaveColston LovelandD'Andre SwiftDalton Kincaid
Player analysis

Player insights

30

Aaron Rodgers

PositiveUsage102:31

Aaron Rodgers showed a significant increase in aggression, with an average depth of target of 10 yards compared to last year's league-low average of six yards.

Insight page

Bijan Robinson

PositiveUsage58:32

Bijan Robinson is in a different stratosphere compared to other running backs, with movement and agility that justify his high draft capital.

Insight page

Bucky Irving

PositiveUsage108:10

Bucky Irving showed encouraging signs, out-snapping Kenneth Gainwell 61 to 46 and out-touching him 15 to 6, displaying twitchy playmaking ability.

Insight page

C.J. Stroud

NegativeBust23:03

The source expresses concern over CJ Stroud's tendency to 'crumble' in high-leverage moments, specifically citing a game-ending sack and fumble against the Bills despite having six blockers for three pass rushers. While the offense overall is viewed as encouraging, Stroud's inability to navigate pressure in critical situations is described as 'disheartening'.

Insight page

Caleb Williams

PositiveBreakout42:56

Caleb Williams is a 'problem' and a top-tier fantasy asset, showing Mahomesian elasticity and efficiency; he finished with 269 passing yards, two touchdowns, and 65 rushing yards, proving he is a dual-threat force.

Insight page

CeeDee Lamb

NegativeMatchup10:07

CeeDee Lamb was involved in a controversial sequence where he was allowed to shove a defender for a touchdown, but the source notes the Cowboys' overall offensive performance was listless and lacked intensity.

Insight page

Chris Olave

PositiveUsage106:15

Chris Olave was described as unbelievable in the Saints' condensed, funneled passing offense, recording 182 receiving yards.

Insight page

Colston Loveland

PositiveUsage118:38

Despite the Bears scoring 59 points, Colston Loveland recorded zero catches and zero fantasy points, though he ran a 97% route rate and saw an end-zone target.

Insight page

D.J. Moore

PositiveUsage19:21

DJ Moore had a strong outing with 100 yards and a touchdown, serving as the number one wide receiver Josh Allen has been missing. His performance included a 40-yard touchdown catch.

Insight page
PositiveUsage22:14

DJ Moore benefited from a high-leverage play where he caught a pass that was nearly intercepted, turning it into a 30-yard touchdown.

Insight page

D'Andre Swift

PositiveUsage46:45

DeAndre Swift looks awesome and more decisive in the Bears' offense, finishing as the RB2 with 32 fantasy points in Week 1.

Insight page

Dalton Kincaid

PositiveUsage19:47

Dalton Kincaid looked excellent in the Bills' offense, recording 130 yards and a touchdown, contributing to a more well-rounded passing attack.

Insight page

Darnell Washington

PositiveUsage100:53

Darnell Washington is described as the most unstoppable player with the ball in his hands in the NFL, with the source expressing a strong desire for him to receive more targets in the Steelers offense.

Insight page

David Montgomery

PositiveUsage21:22

David Montgomery had a highly productive outing, recording three rushing touchdowns in the Texans game.

Insight page

Derrick Henry

PositiveProjection40:20

Derrick Henry is returning to his peak form, looking even better than he did two years ago; he recorded 24 carries for 144 yards and three touchdowns in Week 1, bringing his total to nine touchdowns in his last four games.

Insight page
PositiveUsage40:20

Derrick Henry dominated with 24 carries for 144 yards and three touchdowns, finishing as the RB1 for the week. He surpassed Marcus Allen for the third-most rushing touchdowns in NFL history and holds the record for the most games with 100 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns.

Insight page

Deshaun Watson

NegativeBust110:35

Deshaun Watson is performing at an extremely poor level, with a 25% success rate in the first half and multiple turnovers, leading to suggestions that he should be benched.

Insight page

Devin Singletary

PositiveUsage5:48

Devin Singletary was heavily involved in the Giants' passing game, including a touchdown catch on a flat route, as the Cowboys' defense appeared to completely lose track of him throughout the game.

Insight page

Josh Allen

PositiveProjection17:23

Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills had an impressive performance against a highly-regarded Texans defense, throwing for over 300 yards and four total touchdowns (two passing, two rushing). He looked comfortable and happy having a true number one wide receiver.

Insight page
PositiveProjection20:19

Josh Allen remains elite, scoring 36 points against the Texans; he is historically productive as a runner, with only Derrick Henry having more rushing touchdowns since Allen entered the league. The source notes his ability to create '14-point swings' on plays that would likely be intercepted by other quarterbacks.

Insight page

Justin Herbert

NegativeProjection29:28

Justin Herbert struggled significantly against the Cardinals, with the source noting he 'didn't look good' and the team was out-schemed and out-physicalled. The source is backing away from previous optimism regarding Herbert due to the team's poor offensive line play and difficult upcoming schedule.

Insight page

Kenneth Gainwell

NegativeUsage108:41

Kenneth Gainwell was largely irrelevant in the game, being out-snapped and out-touched by Bucky Irving.

Insight page

Lamar Jackson

PositiveBreakout38:14

Lamar Jackson is back to his peak form, looking faster, more decisive, and 'untackleable.' He demonstrated elite scrambling ability, including an 18-yard gain on a third-and-18, and looks like 'Barry Sanders playing quarterback again.'

Insight page
PositiveProjection41:51

Lamar Jackson is fully back and in the running for MVP; the source attributes his previous struggles to playing through a hamstring injury and a stale coaching staff, noting the Ravens offense looks incredible.

Insight page

Malik Nabers

PositiveBreakout3:56

Malik Nabers looked great in the Giants' win, contributing to a highly efficient offensive performance where the team successfully moved the ball against Dallas.

Insight page

Omarion Hampton

PositiveUsage28:49

O'Marion Hampton looked like a 'cyborg' while running in a touchdown for the Chargers early in the game.

Insight page

Parker Washington

PositiveUsage53:11

Parker Washington is a confirmed problem and clearly the Jaguars' number one receiver, commanding a 28% target rate in Week 1 with five catches for 83 yards and a touchdown.

Insight page

Trevor Lawrence

PositiveProjection50:48

Trevor Lawrence was methodical and surgical in Week 1, posting 245 yards and four touchdowns with a 150 passer rating; the source credits the efficiency to his second year in the system.

Insight page

Trey McBride

PositiveUsage30:26

Trey McBride was a primary target for Jacoby Brissett, who was 'ripping passes' to him throughout the game against the Chargers.

Insight page

Zay Flowers

PositiveUsage39:04

Zay Flowers had a massive performance, recording 150 yards by halftime—a career high—and scoring a touchdown. He was a key part of the Ravens' offensive success before suffering an injury.

Insight page
Full transcript

Episode Transcript

1,834
0:00This episode is brought to you by EA Sports FC27.
0:03Welcome to the world's game. FC27 is introducing the grounds where the streets meet the stadium.
0:08Connect with friends, GoPro, and express yourself on or off the pitch.
0:12Play FC27 with the Ultimate Edition September 18th. Learn more at EA.com.
0:15Rated E for everyone. Includes in-game purchases including random items.
0:19The grounds is only available on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, and S, PC, and Nintendo Switch 2 versions.
0:24This episode is brought to you by Paramount Plus.
0:27On September 18th, prepare for Uncivil War. Mobland, the hit crime series from the underworld of Guy Ritchie, returns to Paramount Plus.
0:34The Harrigans are back and their empire is spiraling into chaos from the inside out.
0:39As power plays, fractured loyalties, and reckless decisions collide, Fixer Harry is left to clean up the fallout.
0:44Don't miss Mobland starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren.
0:48Let Chaos reign September 18th on Paramount Plus. This is the The Ringer Fantasy Football Show.
0:53My name is Danny Heifetz. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck.
0:57And the New York Giants are undefeated! And other things from week one of the NFL season.
1:02Football is here! It's happening! And Danny Kelly, the Giants have never lost under John Harbaugh.
1:07It's never happened. I gotta say, masterful job with the reverse jinx.
1:11All that talk about Dak Prescott beating the Giants every single time.
1:14Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, expertly done by you.
1:17The Giants absolutely dominated this game. I can't wait to talk about how lackluster the Cowboys looked in this game.
1:23Well, we could go a couple ways with this.
1:26One, DK, do you think Heifetz has been reverse jinxing for months?
1:30Because I feel like in May and June, all of us collectively were like, if you have to pick who the 2025 Patriots of this year are.
1:38No, we were like, the Giants are gonna be great!
1:41We were like, Dart looked good, like, they're the defensive line, Neighbors is coming back, Dart.
1:46And then we kind of completely got off them because Harbaugh had an embarrassing speech where he seemed senile.
1:52Right. That whole thing. Yes. And the question I would ask to you, DK, is the classic question.
1:58Better win for the Giants or worse loss for the Cowboys?
2:01I think I have to. Oh my gosh, that's actually really hard because the Cowboys looked horrific today.
2:07I would say better win for the Giants, exercise the demons.
2:10I mean, there's just so many things to feel good about if you're the Giants right now.
2:15Like, Camp Scadwick looked great. Isaiah likely looks like an absolute game changer.
2:19Jackson Dart was totally efficient. The offensive play calling tandem of Greg Roman and Matt Nagy, like, absolutely picked apart the Cowboys.
2:26Because Harbaugh didn't make a really embarrassing speech, at least that I saw yet.
2:31Maybe that'll be coming later. But yeah, overall... That was the other Harbaugh who had an embarrassing presser today.
2:36Right. And then Neighbors looked great, too. So, like, just all good things for the Giants.
2:41I'd say it was a very good win for them, you know, exercising the demons and not being able to beat the Cowboys for a very long time.
2:50I think it was the biggest eight-point blowout I've ever seen in my life.
2:54Seriously, yeah. This game was never more than two scores apart.
2:58It was never more than 14 points apart. And yet, this game felt like it was 40-7 the way that the individual units looked on the field.
3:06I have never seen more open pass catchers in my life than when the Giants receivers and tight ends against Dallas.
3:13This is the best. We are filibustering Heifetz right now.
3:16Yeah, that's good. Let's just not let... He'll come in in the next segment.
3:20Don't let him talk. I almost, like, at the beginning of the game, I was, like, so heavy on the Giants, being, like, the Giants look unbelievable.
3:28And I still feel that way. And I'm, like, ready to say the Giants are going to make the playoffs because I think they look really, really good.
3:37I'll just pick them to win the NFC East.
3:40I don't give a fuck. But once Collinsworth was like, yeah, the Cowboys, they don't have a game plan for throwing it out to the flat.
3:48And then the next play, they threw it again out to the flat to Devin Singletary for a touchdown.
3:54I was like, oh, this might be the worst defense in the league.
3:58Yeah. Heifetz, I'm going to let you talk. Go.
4:01Go ahead. What do you think about those things?
4:03And now for a conveniently timed advertising break. God damn it.
4:07This episode is presented by Verizon. Let me tell you all about Verizon's new simplicity plan.
4:12You get one plan, one price, just $30 a line per month, even for a single line.
4:17So while everyone is running four trade analyzers before offering a backup tight end, Verizon said one plan, one price.
4:23Sometimes the simplest move is the best one, like the simplicity plan.
4:27Head to Verizon.com today. For new customers who switch to Verizon, $30 per line includes auto pay and switch discount.
4:33Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. We're back from the break.
4:36Heifetz, respond to all the things we just said.
4:39Drink your water, have a sip of water. He's like, hold on.
4:43Yeah. We've been winding you up like a Toy Story toy.
4:46Go ahead. We're back from the break. You know, just keep going.
4:50Just keep talking about how great the Giants are.
4:53I'm having a good time. Just keep going. I could keep going.
4:57You want me to keep going? No, not really.
4:59I want to start with this, DK. I have heard Danny Kelly bitch and moan for 10 years about how the Giants don't score touchdowns.
5:07And you know what, DK? Tonight they scored touchdowns.
5:10I want to start there. The Giants scored touchdowns.
5:13And this game was old school. There were fullbacks.
5:15There were long-ass drives. The third quarter had two drives.
5:19Dak Prescott threw a pick, and he basically got two drives over the next 36 minutes of game time.
5:24And it was really cool to see the Giants just take names and kick ass and watch Cam Scadaboo batter just the Cowboys defense over and over.
5:33And I can't really explain why the Cowboys couldn't guard Devin Singletary other than I assume they forgot he was on the team.
5:40I don't really have an explanation for that. Yeah, is there a little bit in the back of your head that's like,
5:47damn it, why did they have to look so inept, the Cowboys?
5:50I mean, why did they have to look so inept on defense and ruin my night?
5:55Because honestly, look, I've seen plenty of really bad defensive performances over the year.
6:00I can't remember seeing one where the strategy was so clearly just gone.
6:04There was no strategy in which they were trying to stop the Giants.
6:08The flat routes were open on every single play.
6:10I think it was like the drive for the Giants right before the half where it was like three or four straight
6:17plays where someone was just wide open. It was every drive.
6:21It was the whole game. It was like no one within 20 yards of the player.
6:26It was insane to me. I was like, what are they doing?
6:29It was like peak Ben Johnson on the Lions where you're like, there's no one near J.
6:35Minson Williams. It was so easy. And that's what it felt like.
6:38Hot knife through butter. So that was kind of wild to me.
6:42I was like, sorry, real quick. That was one of the lamest performances I've ever seen.
6:47The Cowboys were completely listless. No juice, no energy, no intensity.
6:50They just looked like they couldn't wait for the game to be over and get out of there, even though they were
6:57still within striking distance pretty much the whole game, as Craig said.
7:01I thought they were the flat. They looked so flat.
7:04It was completely frustrating. Ironically, they weren't flat at all.
7:07They couldn't find the flat. Oh, good. Yeah. This is from, we got a stat from, it's not next gen stats.
7:14It's next Gale stats from Austin Gale. And it was, this came in during the fourth quarter, I believe.
7:19So it could have changed. I doubt it got any better, but it was, this was the second worst EPA per drive
7:26performance for the Dallas defense since COVID. Yeah. It's pathetic.
7:29We were also only like six drives. Yeah. Yeah.
7:32Both things can be true. Yeah. Tariko said it at the end of the game.
7:37Dak got, touched the ball twice in the second half.
7:40Both drives were touchdowns. I think the Cowboys defensive coordinator, Christian Parker, who was very respected and was expected to turn this
7:47defense around, got put in the torture chamber by Greg Roman and Matt Nagy running the Giants offense.
7:52Who I've always been excited about. I've never, never said a bad word about them.
7:57They were fantastic. As Stephen Ruiz called them, the disgusting brothers.
8:00You know what? It was great. Are the Giants going to keep this up after the, anyone other than the Dallas defense?
8:07I have no idea, but it's just awesome. I said a lot this season, all I wanted from the Giants this season
8:14and what success is under John Harbaugh for 2026 is just to be competitive.
8:18And the Giants have literally been dead last over the last decade or second to last in points and yards and time spent winning games.
8:26And they were first in time spent losing games and their last in touchdowns and last in yards per game.
8:32Every stat, advanced, dumb, everything. They're literally the worst team in the NFL.
8:36And they've been eliminated from the playoffs. Nine of the last 10 Thanksgiving dinners I've had with my family.
8:42And all I wanted was the Giants to just be competitive.
8:45And them just coming out and just controlling the line of scrimmage in a Dallas Cowboys game.
8:51I think it's been 16 years since I saw the Giants.
8:54Probably 2011, 2012 was the last time I saw the Giants control the line of scrimmage wire to wire against the Dallas Cowboys.
9:01I mentioned to you Dak Prescott. Like, they hadn't really beaten him in a legitimate game in 10 years.
9:07But, like, the 10 years before that, the Cowboys had an awesome offensive line.
9:11And the combination of Abdul Carter was just flying around doing Micah Parsons shit against Dallas was awesome.
9:17Fuck them. Arvel Reese looks awesome, even if he just totally lost Javante Williams.
9:21Like, the Giants have a lot of cool, fun pieces.
9:24But the not—like, Malachi Fields looks awesome. He's a random fourth-round rookie receiver at a Notre Dame.
9:30He looks like Kirkland—he looks like poverty Tee Higgins.
9:32I couldn't be more excited about this team. I love that Jackson Dart gave the ball to Malik Nabors at the end of the game.
9:40I feel really weird that they peer pressured Malik Nabors and did a psyop to get him to play.
9:46But you know what? This was fucking awesome. Yeah.
9:49I got to go back and watch that John Harbaugh video again where he's saying the New York Giants thing because I
9:56feel like it'll fire me up now. That was cool.
9:59Now that tuxedos are cool. Yeah. Now I'm like, this guy is a peak motivator.
10:03S-tier motivator. Can we— I also want to say— Should the Giants get two wins for this game?
10:09Because they also beat the referees, who just insisted on making this game so much closer than it actually was because CeeDee
10:16Lamb was allowed to just two-hand shove Drew Phillips, the cornerback, in the end zone away for a touchdown.
10:22But Drew Phillips just lightly brushes CeeDee Lamb's jersey and gets flagged, and the Cowboys got a touchdown off that.
10:28That was honestly a 14-point swing on freaking— Just call it one way or the other.
10:33But you know what? It doesn't matter. They wanted this game to be close.
10:37There were some calls coming in there on those CeeDee Lamb PIs, I think.
10:41Can we talk about Cam Scadaboo for 60 seconds?
10:44I would talk about him for the— Till I die.
10:47I think, bar none, most fascinating player in the NFL to watch.
10:51Just truly one of the most fascinating human beings who's ever lived.
10:55You know how Bill, when Saquon first entered the league, was like, I've seen enough top five running back in the NFL,
11:01and everybody kind of got on him, and then he was kind of right?
11:06I'm not saying Cam Scadaboo was a top five running back in the NFL, but I think there is something about him
11:13that is better than his skill set suggests. Like, Chris Collinsworth was talking about it, how the Giants are like a different team when he's on the field.
11:21He is like one of the more impactful players, even though maybe like from a measurable skill set.
11:27There's just something about when he has the ball in his hands, I'm like, is it going to work?
11:33And there's very few running backs I feel that way about, but he's one of them.
11:38This is something, Craig, that I noticed, and this is pathetic.
11:41I'm going to reference high school basketball. When I played high school basketball, there were certain players, when they were on the
11:48court, the team just had way more energy and intensity and just played harder.
11:52I don't know what it is about certain... He's like Draymond, but running back.
11:57Sometimes you just, there's someone that's on the court or the field or whatever it is with you, and you're just like,
12:03oh, I'm going to fucking, like I'm going to go.
12:06I feel like Scadaboo absolutely has that. His top skill set is trying, and I just think he tries harder than anyone else on the field.
12:14Effort, and that's like the big thing. Honestly, it's a great point, and it's really important in this game in particular because,
12:21man, the Cowboys were just so fucking lackluster. I can't even begin to...
12:25The difference was incredible in terms of intensity on one side.
12:29For the Giants, they were just playing way harder, and then the Cowboys just didn't look like they gave a crap about anything.
12:36And so, yeah, that's a great point. Also, by the way, I know that I was anti-Scadaboo before the season.
12:42You guys got on me about that. You're mad about it.
12:45I saw him in a commercial where he was playing with his dogs.
12:49I'm fully back in on Scadaboo. Oh, yeah, for like the healthy dog food?
12:54Yeah. I was like, okay, I get it. I like Scadaboo now.
12:57Like, that was pretty sick. I'm sorry. You're right.
13:00I'm ugly. You're good-looking. There's a lot of good jokes.
13:03I'm ugly. You're smart. Ugly and smart. Those aren't opposites.
13:06But there was a great tweet that said, like, I think Cam Scadaboo was born with CTE, and every hit slowly reverses
13:13it, which I thought was really good. Giants are good, dude.
13:17How does it feel? We're dominating this conversation over Heifetz, which is wild.
13:21I don't think the Eagles are good. I don't think Dallas is good, and I don't think Washington's good, and I think the Giants are good.
13:29So I don't know what we want to do with that.
13:32Yeah. The Eagles have a great defense, but I don't think the offense, despite what they did today, I don't think the offense is that good.
13:40I think the Giants look really good, dude. They kind of look like the Ravens.
13:45I know that's a stupid comparison and an obvious one, but they kind of look like the Ravens.
13:50The way they're using dart, like, I don't know.
13:53Was it Patrick Ricard dominating, or was it Isaiah Likely scoring two touchdowns and getting his feet in the end zone both times?
14:00Well, in the running dart kind of old school, I feel like nowadays you kind of protect your star running quarterback in certain ways.
14:08I feel like dart's just, like, firing himself into the fucking line, and it's really fun to watch.
14:13And also, he was super accurate tonight. I mean, granted, Nine for 11 on third down.
14:18But he was calm. He felt very measured to me.
14:21Like, he seemed like a real pro out there.
14:24I was very impressed. I have literally never heard either of you speak this nicely about the Giants combined in the history of this show.
14:32I think that I don't think you guys have ever been this nice about anything the Giants have ever done.
14:38Whose team of our three, of our three favorite teams, which do we all support the most as a unit?
14:44The Seahawks, because DK's very lovable. Yeah, that's probably right.
14:47It's not Pittsburgh. It's not Pittsburgh. It's not the Giants, I'll tell you that.
14:52But don't you think we all root for the Giants, though?
14:55The Giants have never been an option. Yeah. In a pathetic way.
14:59In a pathetic way. But I don't think either of you root for the Steelers.
15:03No, definitely not. But you don't root for the Giants.
15:06Yeah, I want you to be happy. I have no issues with the Giants being good.
15:11Same with Seattle. I feel like you... No, they've been in the friend zone.
15:16They've never been, like... They've never been threatening at all.
15:19I don't hate that. No problem with the Giants.
15:22DK's right. They've been in the friend zone, and now you guys are looking at them like, damn, they're hot!
15:28Wait a minute. They had a glow up here.
15:31Yeah. I gotta start worrying about this. What's funny is the Giants play the Rams next week, which is like the ultimate test of vibes.
15:38Oh my God. Where the Rams are coming in as like the juggernaut that Star has already died, and now the Giants are whatever the Giants are now.
15:47Miles Garrett's hurt. So it's a very fascinating situation here, where it's like, do you take the sober pill and take the
15:54Rams, or are you gonna ride the wave and take the Giants?
15:57Craig, I was gonna say this. You know the Freaky Friday thing?
16:01I think the coasts have been switched all of a sudden.
16:05The LA teams had an absolutely disastrous week. And New York's 2-0.
16:08And the two New York teams went off. The Giants suggested 2-0 for the first time since 2009.
16:14There's something weird happening. Maybe the poles flipped or something.
16:17Well, it's like humid in LA now. No one knows what to do.
16:21It's like 70% humidity. Yeah. Yeah. Craig told, when we were down there in LA like two weeks ago, Craig told us
16:28that it was the most humid it's ever been in LA ever.
16:31That's correct. The history of Los Angeles weather charting.
16:34It was the most humid it has ever been.
16:37Great. It was the most humid city in America when you guys were there.
16:41Like, what the fuck? Something's going on. Yeah. I'm in DC.
16:45It doesn't faze me. Yeah, this is cool. It's cool to see the Giants 1-0.
16:49So, you guys want to get to the rest of the games?
16:53Yeah. I'm excited, man. This is our first Sunday recap.
16:56We're fully back. It's midnight in Toronto. I'm doing the Heifetz time zone today.
17:01This is great. This sounds like a Drake song, midnight in Toronto.
17:04Yeah, you guys are extra loopy today because you're both East Coast.
17:08Yeah. I'm living in paradise over here on the West Side.
17:11So, it's 8.50. Fuck yourself. You could never be out here like us.
17:15Okay? Probably not. All right, DK, you're a winner.
17:18I get it. Give us – DK, who's your first winner of Sunday week one?
17:23I'm going to go with Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills for absolutely taking Hatchet.
17:27He's on the Bills? Okay. Yes, on the Buffalo Bills.
17:31Don't get him to stop saying teams. We just fucking taught him to say the name of the team with the player.
17:37Finally. Finally, he did it. It took six years to get him to do that.
17:42Do you think there's a little bit of a shot to credibility to have to say Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills?
17:49Yes. I wish he wouldn't do it with that one.
17:52But when he's just like, Rashad White. I'm like, say Washington, please.
17:56Josh Allen of the Buffalo Williams. Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors had a good game today.
18:01We're doing the draft. He gets naming safeties in the fourth round.
18:05It just won't say like what college they went to or what team they were drafted by.
18:10I'll never do it again. All right, Craig. Geez.
18:13Sorry. The Bills won 36 to 31. They've won 36 to one.
18:17Hyphens. How do you like that? I said the score too.
18:20The Texans came in with like a sterling reputation.
18:23One of the greatest defenses we've ever seen in the last like whatever five years.
18:27I love this. Josh Allen absolutely just picked him apart.
18:31It was absolutely crazy in Houston. And I just thought it was extremely impressive.
18:35I do know and I do recognize that he almost threw the game losing pick and that we shouldn't totally lose track of that.
18:42But the next play, he went right back at Kamari Lasseter, hit the game winning touchdown, what was eventually the game winning touchdown.
18:49And he had an incredible game over 300 passing yards.
18:52The first time that happened since 2024 against a Houston defense.
18:56Four total touchdowns, two passing, two rushing. He had another Lieutenant Ronald Spears run through the Nazi lines.
19:01America. Pretty much every lieutenant for the United States of America.
19:05You got to save the team. Yeah, he was.
19:08Lieutenant Ronald Spears was playing for America. The Allies.
19:10Back in the Normandy invasion. Yeah. Anyways, he had a great game.
19:14And the Bills offense looked awesome. I thought Josh Allen looked really happy, genuinely, to have a number one wide receiver.
19:21DJ Moore had 100 yards and a touchdown. And after that weird kind of fluky like 40 yard touchdown on the sideline
19:27where the defender kind of flew past DJ Moore, he kind of tiptoed as he caught it.
19:33And then he had an open lane to the end zone.
19:36Josh Allen was just smiling. Like it looked like.
19:39Just hooping. Just having fun out there. He was like, finally, I feel like I have a weapon that is somewhat suitable to my skill set.
19:47Dalton Kincaid also looked awesome. Had like 130 yards and a touchdown.
19:51The offense felt much more well-rounded with Shakir and with Moore and Kincaid.
19:55I will never tell somebody not to draft Josh Allen as early as you want.
19:59And it never fails. Yeah. Jackie. 40 points today.
20:02Yeah. My wife all year, all offseason, in the run-up to fantasy drafts was like, I want a good quarterback.
20:08Every year you tell me to win a quarterback and I regret it.
20:12So I'm not going to do that. And she took Josh Allen.
20:16And she had a great day. She was just like.
20:19Just loving life. Yeah. But Josh Allen, I mean, this is an incredible stat I saw from this guy.
20:25It's not NFL research. It's a person whose handles NFL researcher, which isn't quite as legit, but it is correct.
20:31Since Josh Allen was drafted, the only player with more rushing touchdowns than Josh Allen is Derrick Henry.
20:37Wild. He had two more today, I think. Right?
20:39Yeah. What'd you say? Yeah. He had two rushing touchdowns today.
20:43I thought this game, I mean, it's funny because you're right to point out, DK, that Josh gets all the flowers and
20:50the Texans get, like, the defense is going to get knocked.
20:53But Josh Allen did throw the game-losing pick and the Texans dropped it.
20:57And then the Texans just completely dropped the ball and crashed out from that moment on.
21:02That's football. Yeah. Also, look, I would like to point out that I thought the Texans looked pretty good.
21:08And if I were a Texans fan, I'd be okay with this.
21:12Okay? Josh Allen scored 36 points on you. It is what it is.
21:16I was like, I thought Stroud looked pretty good.
21:18I thought they were able to move the ball on the ground.
21:22David Montgomery had three touchdowns. Nico Collins looked great.
21:25Keyshawn Booty made a big play. I'm like, the offensive line I thought was better until that last drive.
21:31I thought the Texans' offense looked serviceable today. And I think they could go deep in the playoffs.
21:36I agree. I will say the Bills, the two touchdowns the Bills had were, fluke is the wrong word, but they were just Josh Allen-y.
21:44There were things that don't happen to, like, 29 or 30 other teams.
21:48Maybe it's Josh, Lamar, one other person, like Jackson Dart, obviously.
21:52But it was the touchdown that Josh Allen had, the first rushing touchdown, was, like, perfect coverage.
21:57And they were just kind of playing man coverage in the red zone, and no one was on Josh Allen.
22:03And then, like, he just kind of was like, oh.
22:06And he just ran, and it was kind of weird.
22:09The Texans didn't have a plan for man coverage for Josh Allen where everyone's back is turned.
22:14And the other one was that throw to DJ Moore where Reed Blankenship kind of came over.
22:20He was the safety, and he was trying to intercept the pass.
22:23And a quarter of a second late feels too big.
22:26Like, Reed Blankenship was, like, an eighth of a second late to intercepting this pass.
22:31That was a wild play. So DJ Moore catches it, and it was, like, the closest you could possibly be to intercepting a pass without disrupting the pass.
22:40So DJ Moore then gets this rundown and score a 30-yard touchdown.
22:43If that wasn't Josh Allen throwing the ball, it probably would have been, like, a tick later and just been intercepted.
22:50And so, like, that's, like, two 14-point swings right there, just those two plays where the Texas defense wasn't even playing poorly.
22:57But Josh played well, but I think CJ Stroud played worse at the end than Josh Allen played good.
23:03I know. I was going to say, like, I agree with Craig.
23:06Very encouraging overall from the offense. Like, they could run the ball.
23:10I think Craig texted during the day, the Texans can run.
23:13Like, it's, like, this crazy idea. It's like, uh-oh, Happy learned how to putt.
23:18I'm like, all right. I feel much better about the Texans offensively.
23:22Yeah. But at the end of the day, you know, Stroud kind of did what he did.
23:27He did the thing you're afraid he was going to do, which is completely kind of meltdown when it really mattered.
23:33And that's what he kind of did. I mean, he's a bad couple of plays.
23:38I don't know if it was a meltdown. He got stripped in the pocket.
23:42Well, yes. I guess meltdown is probably strong, but he crumbled when it was, like, important.
23:47He fucking crumbled when it was important. That's football, though, I guess.
23:51He took him down to, like, a 15-yard line.
23:54But, yeah. He did. But the announcer, it's funny.
23:56If you play the clip, the announcer is literally like, you got to go out of bounds or end zone.
24:03You got no timeouts. Out of bounds or end zone.
24:06Out of bounds or end zone. And then he just gets sacked and fumbles the ball away on third down and goal with the game on the line.
24:14And the funniest part is there's six blockers for three goddamn pass rushers.
24:18The Bills rushed four, and one of them dropped as a spy.
24:22It was three pass rushers for six blockers. And CJ Stroud took a sack.
24:26And that's on everyone. Like, it is so embarrassing that the line couldn't protect him.
24:31But he also not being able to navigate it in that situation with so much on the line.
24:37It just, again, you've had eight months to think about this.
24:40Like, he fumbled five times in a goddamn playoff game, and they won despite you.
24:45And then you somehow, like, you played even worse against New England.
24:48Like, we kept joking, but we're half serious that if the Texans had just punted every time, instead of having CJ Stroud
24:55throw in the playoffs, the Texans might have beaten the Patriots in the playoffs.
25:00And then eight months in, you can't just melt again at the end of the thing.
25:04It's like, you are the thing between the Texans and the Super Bowl.
25:09I thought it was very disheartening. Oh, funny. My takeaway is I'm encouraged by the Texans' offense.
25:14I'm encouraged. I think the defense will be fine.
25:17I need to see CJ Stroud not melt in those moments.
25:20It would be really nice. I agree that it's like they lost to the Bills.
25:25They played a good game. They probably should have beaten them.
25:28I'm not, like, worried about the Texans, but I'm worried about the Texans being the best team in the NFL.
25:34Does that make sense? Yeah, that's fair. We have a high bar for them because we think they're capable of, like, actually
25:41maybe winning the Super Bowl if they don't. What was the only thing we said about the Texans all offseason?
25:47It was like, if CJ Stroud gets his shit together, they can win the Super Bowl.
25:52And he immediately just did the thing everyone was worried about.
25:56He's like the new Sam Darnold. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually eerily similar to what Darnold, how Darnold started last season, who, you
26:02know, they were driving against the 49ers week one and he got stripped and lost the ball.
26:08And then the Seahawks lost the 49ers. They went on to win the Super Bowl.
26:12So maybe that's what will happen with the Texans.
26:15We'll see. And I will say before we keep going, I do want to just note about this week overall.
26:21I meant to say this at the beginning, but I was overwhelmed by how much you guys like the Giants.
26:27This was a weird week one. Week one has for years been sloppy on offense.
26:32The unders always hit the teams with the points like generally win.
26:36And it's like they're all weird. And we kind of hop on the show for the first couple of weeks and we're like, hey, it's the preseason.
26:44None of the timing, the rhythm and the quarterbacking is that good.
26:48Nothing's that crisp. The blocking. No one's been hitting.
26:51No one's playing the preseason. It just looks bad for a couple of weeks.
26:55And this week happens. And this that was incredible.
26:58This was before Sunday Night Football, but I think it's pretty basically still true.
27:02This is from Josh Dubow at the AP. Teams have combined to score an average of 50 points per games through week one.
27:09That would be the highest average scoring week one since 1962, which I think is including like the AFL.
27:15So like basically it's the Super Bowl era period, the highest scoring week one ever, which is kind of shocking because none
27:22of these guys even played in the preseason really.
27:25So it was an incredibly high scoring week overall.
27:27It did feel like there was a lot of ginormous fantasy performances this week, like that I don't usually like think about with week one.
27:35The fact that there was like receivers and running backs just going nuts.
27:39Usually, like you said, it's like these really messy games with penalties.
27:43I did think there was like a lot of fumbling and stuff this week, but it was bizarre.
27:48I mean, it's mostly because the bills. I mean, the Bears just dragging the average up because they scored 59 goddamn points.
27:55But yeah, I totally agree. This felt like a big 12 week.
27:59So speaking of which, Craig, who is your biggest loser for this week?
28:03I think it's got to be the Chargers. Easily.
28:06My goodness, dude. Like, are we ready to do a mea culpa?
28:09We can get into that. But like, first of all, so they lost 26 to 14 to the Cardinals.
28:15Do I need to do a mea culpa for being on the Chargers or against the Cardinals?
28:21Because this is like a good two for one opportunity for me.
28:24That's very true. I would say much more that we were into the Chargers.
28:29Dude, they lost 26 to 14. Game never felt in reach, to be honest.
28:33Like, the Cardinals march down score. They go up 7-0.
28:36The Chargers respond. They march right down the field.
28:39They throw like three straight, like back-to-back-to-back 20-yard passes to Ladd McConkie.
28:43So he had like 60 yards in one drive.
28:45And then O'Marion Hampton runs in a touchdown and looks like a cyborg.
28:49And I was like, holy shit, it's 7-7. Chargers are going to win by 30.
28:54They scored seven points for the rest of the three and a half quarters in the game.
28:59They were out gained by the Cardinals by 100 yards.
29:02They couldn't move the ball. The offensive line was completely inept.
29:06They were rotating guards. Harbaugh kind of had no answer for that in the press conference.
29:11It was the quietest stadium I think I've ever heard.
29:14The fans either weren't, I don't think there were many fans in or begin with, but the ones who were there were dead silent.
29:21It was like COVID. It was the quietest one since COVID.
29:25Dude, Ladd got hurt. Lambert Smith got hurt. Davis got hurt.
29:28The whole team was completely discombobulated. Herbert didn't look good.
29:31The offensive line looked like a mess. I was just, it looked like the offensive.
29:36There was one play late in the second half where two Cardinals rushers just like went right through the line.
29:42No one blocked him and just smashed Herbert. I was like, this is just great.
29:47This is going so well. You know what it kind of reminded me of watching the Cardinals offense versus the Chargers was
29:53the Chargers were doing, trying to do a lot.
29:56It seemed like all of their motions and all that stuff was like just out of rhythm.
30:01You could just tell it wasn't quite right. They didn't quite have it down yet.
30:06And then Jacoby Brissett was just dropping back and fucking ripping passes.
30:10Yeah. And it's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where it's the gun versus the sword.
30:16And I feel like the Chargers were swinging the sword around and then Jacoby Brissett's like, I'm just going to fucking throw
30:22a missile to Trey McBride every single time. And it worked.
30:26And the Chargers looked terrible and I don't know what to do.
30:30It's not even that the Chargers lost to the Cardinals.
30:33It looked horrible. They got their ass beat and they were out scheme.
30:37I completely agree. Outgunned, outmanned, outschemed. They, it was the rare, like the Chargers were completely outplanned, which I think is embarrassing,
30:43not only for Mike McDaniel, but also for Jim Harbaugh.
30:47And they were completely out physical, which is also really concerning.
30:50Like the Chargers, like they got the defense again, losing Jesse.
30:53I think I thought too much about Jesse Minter running the Ravens and not enough about Jesse Minter leaving the Chargers defense.
31:00And I, the Chargers were neutered in a pass rush.
31:03They have no, they have no physicality on the, on the defensive line whatsoever.
31:08But then Herbert, I, I kind of spiritually did the like backing away from the person in the middle of this, if
31:14I'm being totally honest, like every quarter that went by, I feel like I had mentally taken two steps further away from everything I've said about Justin Herbert.
31:23Like, I just was like, what the, I don't know.
31:26I thought this was, they were inexplicably unprepared for this game.
31:29What if we had to do like a, like a Chargers excuses power ranking?
31:34How would we do that? What would you say is number one?
31:38The guards are terrible and we're underrating how, how important that is.
31:41Oh yeah. You got to start with week one.
31:44Doesn't matter. The Patriots beat the Patriots loss to the Raiders week one last year.
31:49Week one doesn't matter. I think it's got to be like, the offense is so complicated.
31:54It's going to take time. Right. They're just working out the kinks.
31:57Marinating. It's a complicated offense. New offensive coordinator. They're just getting, they're just getting on the same page.
32:03They didn't play that much in the preseason. They actually looked pretty good until Ladd went down.
32:08Yeah. Trevor Sykema had the good stat. Ladd McConkie went out.
32:12Chargers fill up. The Chargers yards per pass got cut in half.
32:15More than half actually once Ladd went out. Yeah.
32:18So you're just playing around Ladd who, who never gets hurt.
32:21You know, that's, that's a good plan. Dude. If you look at the Chargers schedule now.
32:26So next week they play the Raiders, which is now not looking like an easy game.
32:31Then after the Raiders in week two, they play at Buffalo, at Seattle, home versus Denver, at Kansas city, the Rams, and then home versus Houston.
32:39And then at Baltimore, those are in order. There's, there's no jets in the middle of that.
32:45Oh. Oh. This is looks dark. Very quick. So Buffalo, who was a Brandon cooks catch for making the AFC championship game, Seattle won the super bowl.
32:53Broncos should have made the super bowl. Kansas city made seven straight AFC championship games.
32:58The Rams are the super bowl favorites. The Texans have the best defense in the AFC.
33:03And then the Ravens had weak that. So are you not?
33:06That's fucking great. That already was bad before the season.
33:09Now that they lost to the Cardinals, it's disgusting.
33:12Here's my question. Okay. You don't get an opportunity.
33:15You're not going to get an opportunity to reverse this later.
33:18I need you to just answer it right now.
33:21Okay. You have an opportunity to just say, this is our opportunity.
33:25This is our chance to buy low and say that it was just a week one aberration.
33:30Or are we just jumping off ship and staying off?
33:33Like we can't get back on for the rest of the season.
33:37Are you ready to jump off? No. I think you got to say, I'm Irish.
33:41I'll do this forever. I'll never die. Remember the Patriots lost to the Raiders in week one last year.
33:47Exactly. I know they had an extremely easy skill.
33:50No, but. Unlike the Chargers do. But, you know.
33:53So the opposite. The week one thing is really important to keep in mind.
33:57Yeah. I'm terrified. I really feel like the Chargers thing is this like rake that I just stepped on every year for the 20th anniversary of the Chargers.
34:06I don't know. Okay. I can't believe. I'm on the edge.
34:09I'm not ready to jump off. So I don't blame you.
34:12So I can't believe the Chargers. So the Solek had the stat that I think nails it.
34:18The Chargers averaged a third and 12 today. Their average third down was third and 12, which would have tied for the
34:25worst number any game, any season, any game of last season.
34:28Third and 12 on average. And it's like, well, you've no interior line.
34:32I think I'm ready to be like, I'm sorry for talking about the Chargers this offseason.
34:37Please forgive me someday. I know that it's going to take a while.
34:41You're probably really angry at me. I'm out. I'm not going to associate myself with this team.
34:46You know, you know, when J. Cole. So the Kendrick Drake Lamar, the Kendrick Lamar Drake beef.
34:51It was originally Kendrick versus Drake and J. Cole.
34:54And J. Cole just got a phone call. It was like, someone's like, you should leave.
34:59You should quit. And J. Cole made one verse against Kendrick.
35:03And he just like put an Instagram up. It was like, I am retiring from this beef.
35:08I'm out. I'm out. I'm doing that. They're like, two days.
35:11I think I'm out. And that's the TKC. It's probably smart.
35:15With that schedule in particular, like if they had an easier schedule, I'd probably be like, hold strong.
35:20We're going to do this. Damn the torpedoes. You know, like whatever.
35:24I'm pretty much like, I give up. I'm waving the white flag.
35:28It's like the people who move in the horror movie who move into the house and the house is doing weird things and they decided to stay.
35:36It's like. People told you it was haunted. It's like the Chargers playing Widow's Bay.
35:41Like, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
35:43It's just never going to work. It's not haunted.
35:46And then you get there, you're like, fuck. I don't believe in curses, but there's something happening here.
35:52I ignored the schedule thing. All pro tackles are back.
35:55And it's like, yeah, but now the guards suck.
35:58I'm like, what the fuck? And beyond, I just, the schedule thing was there the whole off season and Beattish went down
36:04and I was kind of like, yeah. And they drafted one, whatever.
36:08It's, they suck. I got, I need them to be good next week.
36:12The Ringer Fantasy Football Show is brought to you by Fandle.
36:16Monday Night Football just got a whole lot more rewarding on Fandle.
36:19Broncos, Chiefs, and with the reward escalator, what happens on the field can unlock even more profit boosts.
36:25Bet Monday night's game with your 30% profit boost.
36:28Then keep an eye on what happens on the field.
36:31If both teams score a touchdown, you'll get a 25% profit boost.
36:34If any player goes for 100 or more receiving yards, you get a 50% profit boost.
36:39And if Broncos, Chiefs turns into a shootout with seven or more total touchdowns, you'll get a 100% profit boost.
36:46First, we took our teaser for Broncos, Chiefs. We have the Broncos getting eight and a half and the under on the game.
36:53So we're bringing back the teaser to Fandle. This was Bill's idea.
36:56And so we got six point teasers are back so we can tease the Broncos getting eight and a half points with
37:03the under, which we just like that because we just like the Broncos defense versus the Chiefs and the rookie undrafted free
37:10agent left tackle that will be playing for the Kansas City Chiefs.
37:14So make this your most rewarding season ever with Fandle.
37:1721 plus select states or 18 plus D.C. or Wyoming.
37:20Opt-in required. Bonus issued is non-withdrawable profit boost tokens.
37:23Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fandle.com. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.
37:26Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut.
37:29This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off.
37:33The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home.
37:37You're miles away. In one second, everything can change.
37:39That's why ADT security systems can monitor your home 24-7.
37:42They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry.
37:46So you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT.
37:50Visit ADT.com to learn more. My winner, speaking of the Chargers, who are the Baltimore Ravens, I think are a huge winner.
37:57Jesse Minter left the Chargers defensive coordinator position to be the Ravens head coach.
38:01I already think it looks incredible. The Ravens beat the Colts 41-23.
38:05Derek Henry had an incredible game. The Ravens had a good win.
38:09Zay Flowers looked good. I think the headline, though, has to be Lamar Jackson is back.
38:14Like, MVP Lamar is back. Lamar has juice again.
38:16And he looks faster. Lamar looks more decisive. And crucially, Lamar has his defining trait back, which is he looks untackleable.
38:23He's twitchy. He cannot be touched in the pocket.
38:26He looks like Barry Sanders is playing quarterback again.
38:29And he had that third and 18. And he dropped back.
38:32And no one's open. And he stepped up in the pocket.
38:35And no one's open. And then he just ran for 18 yards.
38:39And it looks so easy. And I'm like, most quarterbacks live and die and never scramble for 18 yards at third and 18.
38:46And he made it look so easy. And he just had so many plays like that.
38:51Throws, runs, everything. And I just feel like it's been a minute since I saw him feel like back to the peak of his powers.
38:59And I feel like it was pretty apparent right from the very first offensive play they took.
39:04I think it was a play action rollout. And he hit Zay Flowers for 49 yards.
39:09I was like, oh, God, this is going to work.
39:12Zay Flowers at 150 yards in like half. Yeah, by half, he had a career high in yards.
39:18And he'd scored a touchdown, which he never does.
39:20So we're like, this is a whole new thing.
39:23And then, of course, Zay Flowers got hurt. Also, Jacoby Lane got hurt.
39:27So they're kind of hurting at receiver right now.
39:30But I don't know if it will matter because they're just so good with what the way that Chargers and Ravens combined are down five receivers.
39:38Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, but the way that this offense is run, like Derrick Henry looked like a horse again.
39:44Lamar looked great. They were getting guys open. And this Declan Doyle guy, I don't know, man.
39:50That was a pretty fucking impressive first performance. The third youngest offensive coordinator ever.
39:54Sorry, the fourth youngest offensive coordinator ever, Declan Doyle.
39:57Just everything was working for them. And the way that they were sequencing plays together, the things that they were focusing on,
40:03it just felt like it really was really working.
40:06And obviously, Zay Flowers looked awesome until he got hurt.
40:09But yeah. So the Declan Doyle thing, he's the first of the Ben Johnson coaching tree.
40:14Yeah. So it's the Ben Johnson coaching tree today.
40:17Declan Doyle and Ben Johnson today. They combined for 100 points.
40:20Pretty good. Derek Henry, 24 carries, 144 yards, three touchdowns.
40:24Number one running back this week, Derek Henry. Passed Marcus Allen for the third most touchdowns of all time.
40:29Rushing touchdowns. Derek Henry is now only behind Emmitt Smith and LaDainian Tomlinson for rushing touchdowns.
40:34He also, this is a random stat, but he passed Jim Brown for the most games in NFL history where he had
40:41100 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns. Which I know some of the stats are weird.
40:46The difference in the era. I mean, teams were just run.
40:50Like, that was the most important thing by far in those days.
40:53I mean, this is very much a passing league now.
40:56The fact that he's, you know, even getting close to Jim Brown numbers on stuff is crazy.
41:02I could talk about Derek Henry for a long time, but he has nine touchdowns in his last four games.
41:08I feel like he's also is, like, returning to where his peak was, like, four years ago.
41:13He looks even better than he did two years ago when he almost had 2,000 rushing yards.
41:18So, the Ravens just look incredible. I'm glad we didn't really, like, bail on them this offseason because I really do feel
41:25like Lamar just had a hamstring injury. Like, I really just feel like Lamar was just hurt and played through it and
41:32tried his best and it wasn't working out. And the coaching staff was a little stale.
41:37And I think that was it. So, Declan Doyle is obviously great.
41:41But, like, I never once really considered if Lamar wasn't good anymore or Derek Henry, like, wasn't good.
41:46No. And so, I think the Ravens, again, I thought they would make the Super Bowl.
41:51And I felt less crazy today. So, Lamar. But Lamar's back.
41:54I really think that's the headline. I think Lamar is fully in the running for MVP, all those things.
42:00But I will say, Declan Doyle, we have to pay respects to, you know, the tree.
42:05It's just two people. But Ben Johnson and the Bears.
42:08It's begun. We have a new category here. The first branch has sprouted.
42:12Can you explain this new category we're going to do here?
42:16We're calling it problem of the day. Yeah. Who is the biggest problem of the day?
42:21It's very modern coded. You know, last year, last two years, it was the Oppenheimer Award.
42:26But that movie's old now. Christopher Nolan's already had a different movie come out.
42:30And so, this category is basically like the fantasy winner of the day, a.k.a.
42:34Who was a fucking problem out there? This guy's going to be a problem.
42:39Yeah. This is the guy who, in the edit on TikTok, is like, Malik Nabors was a problem in 2024.
42:45And it's just him dicing people up running slants.
42:48That's what this category is. My problem of the day was the Bears.
42:52The whole Bears. Caleb Williams in particular. I think it has to be Caleb Williams.
42:56Only a couple Bears, weirdly. Well, that's the end.
42:59Caleb Williams is a problem. Some other Bears are problems.
43:02But the Bears won 59-37. 59 points. First of all, it's the third most points the Bears have ever scored.
43:08It's the most the Bears have scored since 1980.
43:11And it's the first of all. The Bears needed four weeks to score 459 points last year.
43:16Like, the Bears have been like every other year scoring 59 points in all of September for like the last 25 years.
43:23Like, they go an entire month without scoring 60 points.
43:26It's really the most the Bears have ever scored.
43:29Because I believe it's the most they've ever scored without a return touchdown.
43:33So, it's like the most the offense has ever put up.
43:37They won the 1940 NFL Championship 70-0. I'll have you know.
43:40But were there return touchdowns in those games? Who knows?
43:43They had weird touchdowns back then, Craig. Who knows?
43:46Well, I'm just saying. Probably some hunter. I've discovered a stat that said this was their best offensive performance ever.
43:52It probably was. If you don't count return touchdowns.
43:55I think the real question I have for you guys.
43:58So, this was the most points any team scored in week one since the Ravens in 2019.
44:03And that was like the year Lamar was like Lamar and the Ravens were just like.
44:08Lamar won the unanimous MVP. How many points did they put up in that game?
44:13They put up 60? The Ravens won 59-0 against the Dolphins.
44:16Oh, they tied it. Yeah, they tied the number.
44:19But I think that that's important because that is like the year the Ravens were the Ravens.
44:24Lamar was the unanimous MVP. The Ravens went like 14-2.
44:27And it was like the arrival. And Ben Johnson has been saying, I want to set the scoring record.
44:33I don't want to just go undefeated. I want to set the scoring record.
44:37And I kind of thought he was just talking out of his ass.
44:41And I'm realizing now. It's kind of a wild thing to say.
44:45It's a wild thing to say. And I'm realizing now I think it's very intentional.
44:50I think Ben Johnson is trying to do the offense wins championships thing.
44:54Because it's like he keeps comparing to the Broncos in 2013.
44:57Well, they made the Super Bowl. And they got waxed by the Seahawks.
45:01But like the Bears defense sucks. I actually think Ben Johnson actually believes.
45:05And after this game, it's like a reality. Like the Bears think they're that good.
45:10I know it was the Panthers. But they're actually going to try and run up the score on all these goddamn teams.
45:17Yeah, Ben Johnson kind of speaks like a college coach.
45:20That like motivating press conference-y quote is very – you don't see a lot of NFL coaches really speak like that.
45:26Like Ben Johnson saying, I want to lead the league in points.
45:30We're going to run up the score. Like that's a very college way of speaking.
45:35I made fun of it a lot writing for The Ringer by that 2019.
45:39John Harbaugh kept comparing the Ravens offense to the iPhone, the invention of the iPhone.
45:44And I was like, that's the worst possible comparison you could make.
45:47And then they came out and scored 59 points in week one.
45:51This must have been so fucking satisfying for Bears fans to watch this.
45:55291 yards on the ground. They averaged 7.5 yards per carry on 39 carries.
45:59Dude. Who does that sound like? That sounds like the – 39 carries.
46:03Doesn't that sound like the Lions? That's like Jameer Gibbs-Dave Montgomery where it's like they just can't stop scoring rushing touchdowns.
46:10There's something primal. I know that passing is like sexy and fun and it's like more explosive and exciting or whatever.
46:16But there's something primal about fucking running for almost 300 yards and scoring 59 points by doing that.
46:22Like Caleb had a great game. He – and you know, he was very efficient with the ball.
46:2821 on 29, 269 yards and two touchdowns. So he was super efficient as a passer.
46:32He also ran for 65 yards. Yeah. 18 points on running.
46:36His running and just overall the team's running. Like Kyle Mononga had like a 70-yard run for a touchdown.
46:42DeAndre Swift looks awesome. He just got assigned to an extension.
46:45He looks like he has turned over a new leaf.
46:48He's just so much more decisive, I feel like.
46:51I don't know. It just – I just think this type of way of winning is so fun to watch when you can just run.
46:59And like they cannot stop you. To that point, DK.
47:02That's the coolest thing. To that point, of the last seven NFL games with 250 rushing yards by a team, the Bears have four of the last seven.
47:11Like they are the team that runs on people now.
47:14And I want to know Caleb and then come back to Ben Johnson.
47:18Caleb Williams played so well today. You read those stats, DK.
47:21You counted for four touchdowns. I used to be tepid saying this.
47:25I'm not – I don't care if I repeat myself.
47:28Caleb Williams is Aaron Rodgers. Like it is unbelievable how much his game has – In all ways.
47:33In all ways. He thinks there's a civilization under Antarctica.
47:37He's convincing his receivers of it. But Caleb Williams had some throws in this game.
47:41The touchdown to Cole Komet where he rolled right and then dropped it in a bucket like 40 yards downfield into the end zone was unbelievable.
47:49He had this one throw where he rolled left and then like honestly looked like a shortstop throwing to first base.
47:56Like he just like flipped his hips and jumped and just threw a dot to Khalif Raymond.
48:01And I think he hit Khalif Raymond so hard that he freaking broke his ribs or something.
48:06I don't know. But the amount of throws in this game that Caleb Williams looked on – like the scrambles.
48:12He hit a dig route to Luther Burden on second and 10 that set him up at the 30.
48:18And then that was just like such an effortless dart.
48:21And then the next play he scrambles 30 yards and kind of gallops untouched into the end zone.
48:27And the list of people who can do those things at the same – like those back-to-back plays of like the arm
48:34strength to sit in the pocket and hit a dig and then scramble.
48:38The weight – it's Josh, it's Lamar, and like I guess Mahomes.
48:41And that's kind of the list. I don't know.
48:44I can't say enough about that. He's kind of Mahomesian in the way that he moves.
48:49Have you guys noticed this? Like he's got a very herky-jerky body style.
48:53Like the way that he runs. He's very helter-skelter.
48:56Limbs are all over the place. He's like holding the ball like a coconut like running around.
49:01He's just very kind of awkward, but he also has just this elasticity with his arm.
49:06Heifetz is talking about the play where he's like rolling out to his left and then threw across his body, just laser pass down the field.
49:14He has like a very – his biomechanics are kind of Mahomesian, the way that he can like bend his body and get throws off and stuff.
49:23Caleb has the Patrick Mahomes – how fast is he?
49:26I don't know. He's just faster than whoever's chasing him.
49:29Dude, he went 20 miles an hour twice in this game.
49:32Oh, really? He's as fast as he needs to be.
49:35Yeah. But I think he's the best thrower across his body right now.
49:39Like the way – I think he can turn himself around and square his hips up better than anyone.
49:45Like you said, DK, elastic is a great word for it.
49:49He's like Mrs. Incredible. He can like just bend his body in weird ways.
49:53It's unbelievable. And the Bears were – again, but then random people like – I just – I don't know.
49:59I just – the Bears were unbelievable. You can't say enough about it.
50:03On a scale of 1 to 10, though, how – How worried are you about this defense?
50:08Because Bryce Young fucking picked them apart. Jalen Coker came out and had like a bajillion – what was Jalen Coker's final line in this game?
50:16He had like 130 yards. Yeah. Jalen Coker looked like Terrell Owens today.
50:20So, yeah. No, I'm worried about – I think the Bears are the Bengals or Cowboys now.
50:26Except the Cowboys aren't the Cowboys. So, I think the Bears are the new shootout team.
50:31Everyone they play is going to look like that.
50:33Caleb is the QB1, 37 points. DeAndre Swift is the number two running back, 32 points.
50:38Yeah. I think Coker might have been the number one receiver too.
50:42He was up there. DK, who is your problem?
50:45Your problem. Got to be a problem. Trevor Lawrence.
50:48I mean, one of the most efficient games I've ever seen.
50:51He was an absolute problem out there, you guys.
50:54Do you want me to go continue or do you want to weigh in?
50:58I want to hear you say problem again. Trevor Lawrence is going to be a problem.
51:03I'm starting to – I know that this was the Browns.
51:06They beat the Browns, by the way. This game was over so fast.
51:11The Browns, they were up 31-0. I can't believe we didn't take the Jags at Ringer 107.
51:16I don't know what I was thinking. I'll take the – I went to a movie today at TIFF and I missed
51:23the first like 20 minutes of the day. And I got in and it was like 14-0 Jags and Parker Washington had 70 yards at a touchdown.
51:31I was like, holy shit. I'm starting to think Liam Cohen might be like on that level of the Ben Johnsons, the
51:38McVeys, the Shanahan's of the world, all these really smart offensive coordinators slash play callers who just know how to get guys
51:45open and can do it kind of just very consistently.
51:48I think Lawrence in this game, the words I wrote down, methodical, diabolical, surgical.
51:52It was one of the most efficient – You're like M&M.
51:55Yeah, totally. That's me. I love those things with the M&M, like how M&M raps.
52:00Like, methodical, diabolical, surgical. A lot of napkins. I absolutely refuse to even pretend to rap, so I'm not going to do that.
52:07But he had 245 yards, four touchdowns, 150 passer rating.
52:10His EPA per dropback was .65. That doesn't really mean a lot to most people, but like basically more than half a point per dropback in expected points.
52:19He was out there absolutely dealing. I think he had 23 throws and they scored – they were up like 31 to nothing in the third quarter.
52:27It was basically a perfect game. Yeah, 68% success rate on offense, Trevor Lawrence was.
52:32I mean, that is – that's absurd. That's like shooting free throws.
52:36So, I don't know. I just think overall this offense looked really, really crisp.
52:40The Browns' offense sucks, but I think they have some talent on defense.
52:44This wasn't like some crappy piece of shit defense.
52:47I mean, maybe they are. I don't know. Who knows where they are really?
52:51Their offense I think is just so bad it's going to drag the whole team down for the whole year.
52:57But just really impressed with Trevor Lawrence. He didn't do any of it with his legs.
53:02I think he had like three rushing yards or something like that.
53:06It was all just picking apart the defense. And Parker Washington also might be a confirmed problem this year, you guys.
53:12Like we talked about it all offseason. Confirmed. There was some – I think there was a certain level of doubt that
53:19what we saw late in the last season with Parker Washington was actually real.
53:23And that would continue on and carry over to this season.
53:27I mean, based on one game, it absolutely has.
53:30He had five catches, 83 yards, and a touchdown.
53:3228% target rate. The next closest pass catcher on the team was Brenton Strange and Brian Thomas Jr.
53:38with a 14% target rate. And Brian Thomas got hurt.
53:41Yeah. And so he was very clearly the number one receiver in this offense.
53:45Washington was. He looked great. So, I don't know.
53:48I'm just really excited about this Jags offense. Yeah, and what Parker did was basically in one half.
53:54They really didn't need to do a whole lot in the second half.
53:58Also, I want to point out two things, two similarities between the last two problems that we've named.
54:03The Bears and the Jags. This is year two in the system.
54:07I am furious at myself because the first memento tattoo I wrote down at the end of last year was just bet
54:14on the Jags and Bears where you have number one prospects with a lot of talent.
54:19In the same system with a confirmed elite head coach and do that instead of trying to guess which of these random coordinators will be good.
54:27The newbies. Yeah. And, yeah, we should have just – well, I guess we did rank them really high.
54:33It's why this next team I want to talk about, I think next year will be a great year to bet on them.
54:40But there was a problem today out in Las Vegas.
54:43And his name was Ashton Gentry, who – Yeah.
54:46I don't know what happened to that man's ankle a month ago, but it seems perfectly fine.
54:51He touched the ball 29 times today, which is tied for the most in his career, and put up 150 yards and two touchdowns.
54:58He looked as good as you could want him to look, as advertised.
55:02First-round pick. He deserved to go whatever he went, fifth overall.
55:06He looks like – he's one of the more unique runners, I think, in the NFL right now.
55:11He has this, like – they were talking about how much he cares about balance.
55:16An hour every day in the offseason, he would just focus on doing balance work.
55:21And he really does look like if Alvin Kamara was, like, inside of Maurice Jones Drew's body or something like that.
55:27He's this, like, stout little bowling ball. Oh, that's interesting.
55:30Yeah, yeah. Who can't get knocked off his access.
55:33He just, like, doesn't go down. He's like a gyroscope where his center of rabbit won't move.
55:38Unless he's doing a 360-degree flip forward. Yeah, and even then he kind of landed like a cat on Al Force.
55:45He kind of did land like a cat. Dude, someone didn't get hit.
55:49I took a look at that. He flew through the air five – that's 15 feet.
55:54He flew through the air five yards. Imagine for a second if that happened to one of us.
55:59What would happen if we flew 15 feet? We'd never stop talking about it.
56:04I don't know if that's a lot or not, but it feels like a lot.
56:08Like, if you went flying 15 feet, wouldn't you be, like, dead?
56:12It looked like he was, like, got launched off one of those blobs on a lake.
56:17Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I thought he was unbelievable. It looks like the physics don't apply to him the way they do for other people.
56:24And there's one stat I wanted to point out that I was curious about.
56:29We talked about this a lot in the offseason.
56:32The gente yards before contact thing. And it was a big reason why we were excited about Derrick Henry going to Baltimore.
56:38Because the yards before contact in Tennessee was not great.
56:41And what Baltimore was able to do with Lamar, any running back you gave the ball to wasn't getting touched for two, three yards.
56:49Gentis yards before contact last year were, like, all-time bad.
56:52Like, bottom five out of 700 running backs over the last couple of years.
56:56It was close to zero. So I looked at just today's game.
57:00And I know they played the Dolphins. But if you exclude one dumb game where he had six carries last year, today
57:07was the only game in Gentis' career where he had over two yards before contact.
57:11And I think that's Clint Kubiak. And I think the offensive line looked pretty good today.
57:16Again, caveat Dolphins. But, like, I now believe in this system.
57:20And I believe in Gentis. And his ankle seems fine.
57:23And I think the people who bet on guys like Gentis and Jeremiah Love, who also played today with an ankle injury and looked pretty good.
57:31Gentis looks like a first-round pick. And you probably got him in the second round.
57:36And this run game looks totally real to me.
57:38The ankle. Watching. I had an intrusive thought during this game.
57:42We're watching. Because on the screens, watching O'Marrion Hampton and the Chargers side-by-side with Ashton Gentis on the Raiders.
57:48And I'm watching. And I'm like, I actually had a quarter second where I was like, which of these guys hurt their ankle, like, two weeks ago?
57:56Like, if you had just told me one of these players sprained their ankle and maybe had a high ankle sprain two
58:03weeks ago, I would have bet thousands of dollars it was, like, O'Marrion Hampton instead of Ashton Gentis.
58:08Like, Ashton Gentis looked 100% healthy. Dude, I had this thought during the game.
58:13It's borderline annoying. Like, what happened to his ankle?
58:15You know what I mean? Why did you make us doubt him?
58:19I had this thought during the games today. It was such a funny...
58:23I think that teams did such a good job of giving us a very usable comparison between great players and, like, league average players in several different games.
58:32If you watched the difference watching B. John Robinson run versus Brian Robinson run today, you were like, holy shit.
58:38He is in a whole different stratosphere. Like, it's...
58:41The difference is insane to watch. Like, just the way they move, just the way they run...
58:46The way they get up off the ground is mesmerizing.
58:49Yeah. I think Gentis versus Mike Washington... Mike Washington, I think, will be a good player in the league and whatever.
58:56He'll be a good, like, you know, counter to whatever, however they use Gentis.
59:00But clearly doesn't move in remotely the same way.
59:03And then I think the same was, like, with Algier and Jeremiah Love.
59:07Where you're like, holy shit, Jeremiah Love just moves different.
59:10And then you watch Algier. He's like, oh, he's picking up yards.
59:14But he is just a grinder. It looks like he's playing with weights around his legs.
59:18Right. Totally. So, I had that thought, like, several different times today.
59:22I was like, damn. The difference between this guy and this guy is so, so apparent.
59:27It's very important to watch Bijan run compared to Brian Robinson.
59:31And then realize that's why teams took him so high, even though he's a running back.
59:36Because it's like, holy shit. Yeah, they're just sitting there like, you see this?
59:40Like, I can't not take this player. All right.
59:43The next one. It's so over. We're so back.
59:45My favorite category. Actually, second favorite. You go first.
59:48Me? Yeah, who's so back? The Steelers are so fucking back.
59:52We won a messy, ugly, low-scoring game. Looked mildly exciting.
59:55Defense was pretty solid. Steelers are back. We're so back.
59:58They beat the Falcons 20-13. TJ Watt completely saved the team with, I think, maybe the best play I've ever seen him make.
60:05The most hilarious interception I've ever seen. Oh, it's not the best in week one.
60:10He had to win a game. Walk-off like six years ago.
60:13You know his fourth pick in week one? He was like two feet away from the quarterback today.
60:18I couldn't believe he caught that ball. Did he go yoink?
60:22Yeah. He yoinked it. A very gentle yoink. Yeah.
60:25Because the rest of the... What's funny is like the Steelers, if you check the box score, they kind of seemed bad.
60:31But I actually thought they looked better. If you watch the game, DK Metcalf dropped a touchdown.
60:37He dropped another crucial deep ball. There was a lot of drops.
60:40I thought Rodgers was actually really accurate today. But they could not run the ball.
60:45And there was a time where I was like, we all texted.
60:49We were like, are the Falcons going to fucking beat the Steelers?
60:53Was Cooper Rush going to beat the Steelers? And then they kind of got their act together.
60:58But we played all the hits. Darnell Washington threw him into the ground.
61:02Oh my God. That play. No, he didn't throw him to the ground.
61:06He threw him also like 15 feet. That guy went flying.
61:09Well, he bounced back up off the ground. Almost back to his feet.
61:13Oh, that play. Oh yeah. Where the guy's helmet hit the ground.
61:17And like the mountain and the viper. Like he just like...
61:20If that guy wasn't wearing a helmet, I think he would have died.
61:24You know how we were joking about the substation every time you see him?
61:29It's like growing. It's getting bigger and looming more ominously in the background.
61:33Like every time I see Darnell Washington, I'm like, how much does this guy weigh?
61:37He's like 315, 320. He's by far my favorite player.
61:40Oh, he's worn that. If you didn't see it, he did the Marshawn Lynch bless you thing where he grabbed the guy's
61:47head like a melon and shoved it into the ground.
61:50Calling it a stiff arm is like not doing it justice.
61:54He grabbed his head and shoved it into the ground.
61:57And it bounced back up. He's like, I baptize you.
62:00And then shoved his head into the ground. It was the most violent thing I saw.
62:05It was crazy. It was awesome. I want him to get the ball more.
62:09We don't give him the ball enough. He's my favorite player on the team.
62:14I agree. He's the most unstoppable player with the ball in his hands in the NFL.
62:18I believe that with my heart. We don't have to talk about the Steelers much, but I will say there was one difference in the Steelers offense today.
62:27Because if you look, you're like, oh, 20 to 13 classic Steelers.
62:31Aaron Rodgers today, his average depth of target was 10 yards.
62:34Last year's average was six, which is the last in the league.
62:38He was attacking. It was a weird game because the Falcons were listless and lifeless.
62:43And yet the Steelers refused to put them away and then just went one.
62:47And it was, I don't know. I don't know.
62:50They were fucking around, but they didn't find out.
62:52They're the same. Yeah. My it's so over. We're so back.
62:56It's both. It's Tyler Shuck. It was so over for Tyler Shuck in the first half of the wildest games.
63:02Yeah. And then Tyler Shuck is just so back for the final hour.
63:06This was inexplicable. The first, not even the first half, the first like two and a half quarters.
63:12Tyler Shuck was like, if you keep playing like this for a couple months, you won't have a future.
63:18Like you're going to be a backup. Van Lathan was like furious at Tyler Shuck.
63:22He was texting us. I mean, just the first half for fantasy purposes, Tyler Shuck was the 25th best fantasy quarterback in the first half of this week.
63:31The Saints were scoreless. Shuck at 85 yards. That is like through two and a half quarters.
63:36From that point on, like Shuck comes out at halftime, then immediately throws an interception and then loses a fumble.
63:42Like in the first two drives. After that, after those like first two drives at a halftime ended disaster, Tyler Shuck then
63:49completes 20 of 28 passes, 250 yards, two touchdowns, leads four straight scoring drives, sets up the game winning field goal drive for a fifth scoring drive.
63:57And then the kicker misses a 62 yarder, which is fine.
64:01They go to overtime. Lions score a touchdown. Tyler Shuck leads them down and scores the tying touchdown.
64:06And then they decide to go for two and they don't get it.
64:10But Tyler Shuck almost beat the Lions twice in this game in like two quarters.
64:15I couldn't believe how well he played. 410 yards passing.
64:18He had 85 in the first half. I thought I had the exact same reaction as you have is I'm like, oh,
64:25man, why did I talk this guy up during the offseason?
64:28What was I thinking? Because it was horrific. He played worse than any quarterback I've seen in the first half.
64:35It was he could other than Deshaun Watson. Well, yeah, other than Deshaun.
64:39Like his pick was so bad. He threw it right to the defender.
64:43It was like supposed to be just a little check down and he threw it right to the defender.
64:48That was terrible. Oh, it was so ugly. It's like, how did you not see that guy?
64:54And I was like, man, he just doesn't have it.
64:57This is this is going horribly. Why did we think that the Saints were going to be any good?
65:03And then the second half, Tyler Shuck just absolutely turn it on.
65:06I don't really know still if like he's that good.
65:09I think it was very impressive what he was able to do in the second half and lead them back.
65:16But but yeah, man, that was crazy, crazy tale.
65:18I think a common thread. Don't besmirch Shuck. If Shuck was if Cam Ward was doing what Tyler Shuck was doing and
65:25had the exact same arc, we'd be like, this is working.
65:29He's great. I agree. My instinct is to be like the Lions defense got gassed and they took advantage of it.
65:35But I agree, Craig. Like, yeah, if Cam Ward was doing this, we'd be absolutely flipping out.
65:40Honestly, at three o'clock Eastern, Shuck just became 2006 Peyton Manning.
65:44OK. Like he just became. There's a middle ground here between me besmirching him and you calling him Peyton Manning.
65:50There could only be one. Well, we talked about we did an episode in August about who's going to be the 2025
65:57Colts, who's going to be the 2026 version of that.
66:00And we mentioned the Saints is a possibility with Kellen Moore year two, blah, blah.
66:05What's really nice about the Colts or the Saints offense that is similar to the Colts last year is that it's very condensed.
66:12It's very funneled where basically Chris Olave was unbelievable today.
66:15He had like 170 yards. 182. 182 yards. He's got the guardian cap on.
66:19But it's basically Olave, Devon Vele, who looked great, got a touchdown and Juwan Johnson, who came on late, but also was great.
66:26And it's kind of like just those three. And I think the passing offense is going to continue to be very productive.
66:33They run a super fast paced offense. And like, I think all three of those guys are going to be playable.
66:39Totally agree. I think we're doing the waiver show.
66:42And again, we do these recaps on Sundays. We do waivers on Mondays, power Wednesdays, previews on Fridays.
66:48The waivers episode, I'm sure Devon Vele is going to be like maybe the number one receiver pickup just because he's going to play a lot.
66:56He can make plays. He made a couple of really nice catches, too.
67:00It wasn't just easy stuff. He made, I think, two diving catches in this game.
67:05You know what's really hard in fantasy is like the Jalen Coker types, the Devon Vele types who like have a good
67:11week one, but they were like on your bench.
67:14And then you have to decide like, do I bench my start?
67:18Do I bench Devontae Smith to play Jalen Coker now?
67:21And usually you don't do it and you like wait a couple weeks and then you just keep burning good Jalen Coker and Devon Vele games.
67:29So we should talk about that tomorrow because it's one thing to add somebody like Vele, but it's another to start him.
67:36I, yeah, it's just, they have the late round syndrome where we just don't trust your eyes.
67:41It's like Tyler Shuck. Parker Washington. Yeah. Yeah. Tyler Shuck.
67:44They're all in the same conversation. It takes like, they have to do way more to just immediately trust.
67:50Like if Luther Burden did what Parker Washington did in the first quarter today, we'd be putting him in the Hall of Fame.
67:57It's actually a good point to phrase it that way.
68:00You're right. Burden is a strong hold. It was fine.
68:03He had like 65 yards. It's fine. DK, who's your, it's so over.
68:07I've got two quick ones here. We're so back.
68:10Bucky Irving is good again. I was just very encouraged.
68:13I was very encouraged when I saw from Bucky.
68:16Yeah. That's a good one. He looked great. He looked really like twitchy.
68:20The way he was making guys miss. Fumbling. The fumbles were twitchy.
68:24I mean, he had one. He had a fumble.
68:26That was his bad play. Thanks, Heifetz. You fucking jerk.
68:30But other than that. This is DK's segment, Heifetz.
68:32You always do this to me. You're ruining it.
68:35Mom, I'm done with my segment. Yeah. Bucky Irving.
68:38I'm just going to power through. Out snapped Kenneth Gainwell.
68:41Craig's favorite player, Kenneth Gainwell, was pretty irrelevant in this game.
68:44He out snapped Gainwell. 61 to 46. Out touched him 15 to 6.
68:48He had eight rushes, 45 yards. Why is this random thing on Bucky Irving so contentious?
68:53Yeah. DK's like, the guy Craig likes fucking sucked.
68:56I'm sorry. I couldn't. I was just, it was like the spray and pray.
69:00I just got to like shoot back at something.
69:03You're just doing Baker. You're just like doing Baker Mayfield propaganda talking about Bucky Irving up and not mentioning how Baker just
69:10fucking blew this game for the Bucs and for us.
69:13Bucky didn't blow it. Fucking Baker Mayfield had three fumbles.
69:16All right. Yeah. It wasn't. He said Baker blew it, not Bucky.
69:20Oh, okay. Well, Bucky fumbled too. I'm super defensive.
69:23It takes a village to turn it over four times.
69:26Did you see Baker blamed the headset? Baker said there were headset issues the whole game.
69:31Oh, yeah. That's true. He did change his helmet early on in the game.
69:35Yeah. He, that is both probably true. I do believe there's tech issues.
69:39I do believe sometimes it's on purpose. And also he literally just got a first down and then kept going to try
69:46to score and then just immediately got stripped and like they lost because of that play.
69:51The ball was really greased up in this game.
69:54I feel like a lot of people lose. It's humid all over the country.
69:58They kept, all the announcers kept talking about it.
70:01How hot and thick and sweaty it was. It was like the movie body heat out there.
70:06Totally. Hot, thick and sweaty. Anyways, I'm not going to talk about Bucky Irving anymore.
70:11I think the Bucks will be fine. They had, they lost four fumbles in this game and they still made it close.
70:18I think they'll be okay. I'm Googling body sweat movie because I don't want to Google body sweat.
70:23Body heat with Kathleen Turner. They're body heat. It's good movies.
70:26You should watch it. We did a rewatchable on it.
70:30While you Google that, Heifetz, I'm going to do it.
70:33It's so fucking over. I can't even believe it.
70:35Deshaun Watson. Oh, closing body heat. Okay. I mean, it's insulting at this point to Cleveland's fans that Deshaun Watson is playing.
70:42Wouldn't you say? He's truly, he's approaching, he's as bad as like Curtis Painter at this point.
70:47Like there's got, like, you know, the Will Levis thing.
70:51There's not 32 like quarterbacks that are better than me.
70:54There's not, I don't know if there's a, like, there's probably a hundred quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Watson at this point.
71:01I mean, you just can't wait. None of them are the Browns.
71:05There's teams that have three quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Watson.
71:08I think the funniest thing is that I think there are only two quarterbacks in the NFL that have been able to
71:15play multiple games I've ever seen that in shotgun just run back like 10 steps immediately.
71:20And they're both on the Cleveland Browns this year.
71:23Nate Tice was talking about this. He was like, in shotgun, there's no such thing as seven step drops.
71:29He just keeps going back. Shador just runs backwards.
71:31Like it's Madden. And Deshaun Watson does seven step drops from shotgun.
71:35And no one else has ever done that. In his defense.
71:39If I were playing on a football field where really tall, strong, fast, violent men were trying to hit the shit out
71:45of me, I would also be running back as fast as I can.
71:49It's actually a very natural instinct. So in this scenario, you're playing Watson's defense attorney, you could say.
71:55Interesting choice. Devil's advocate, if you will. You know, look, I'm a public defender in this one.
72:00I was assigned the case. The possessions. You should do that.
72:04That should be a segment. Fuck. I've been assigned the case.
72:07Don't judge me. All right. It's the criminal justice system.
72:10We should do public. That is really funny. Public defender.
72:13It's like, fuck, I got assigned to the Chargers.
72:16God damn it. Defender. Fuck. They give it to like the new guy.
72:20Good luck. Anyway, I don't need it. We don't need to linger too much on this.
72:25You get two minutes to prep too. You're like, you just get it.
72:29Here's the Browns. You have Kim Ward and you have 100 seconds to prep.
72:33Fuck. May I approach the bench, your honor? If you are a public defender, can you email us and give us like what other tips?
72:41Because that's the one I've heard. You get like 11 minutes sometimes.
72:45Anyway, keep going. Sorry, DK. Look, I'm not breaking any news here.
72:48Possessions in the first half for the Browns. Interception, punt, punt, fumble, punt, end of half.
72:53And then they were down 24 to nothing. They went down 31 to nothing in the third quarter.
72:59Watson's first half success rate was 25%. Weirdly enough, Matthew Stafford was the only quarterback this week that was worse than that.
73:06Stafford, not a great first half last week. Can I reiterate that?
73:09Reiterate that Deshaun Watson. He was jet lagged. Sure.
73:12Imagine if Deshaun Watson threw to Australia. Deshaun Watson threw a pick on the fifth play of this fucking game.
73:18Yeah. And then they came back. And then he tried to throw another pick.
73:23And the only reason it didn't is it just ricocheted off of, I can never pronounce the guy's names.
73:29A lot of guns. The linebacker's chest. It hit him in the goddamn belly button and ricocheted down.
73:34And that's the only reason the Browns didn't have back-to-back picks.
73:38Then he fumbled and they had a three and out again.
73:41And then he fumbled and lost it. Would it be boring if I just named a bunch of backup quarterbacks and you
73:48guys say yes or no, whether you'd rather play them if you were a Browns fan?
73:53It would be boring because they're all yeses. I was just kidding.
73:56I mean, I think Nathan Peterman is. How about this?
74:00I'll do some third string quarterbacks. Will Howard. Definitely Will Howard.
74:03Oh, for sure. I feel like Will Howard would do better.
74:06Quinn Ewers. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Garrett Nussmeyer. I'd way rather have Garrett Nussmeyer.
74:10He was the seventh round pick. What do we do with Browns?
74:14Nussmeyer would definitely give the Browns a better chance to win.
74:17Aiden O'Connell. Yeah. I've seen him be successful. He's won games.
74:21Well, I guess the Bears have Tyson Bajan as third string because he was inactive.
74:26He's good. But Case Keenum. Case Keenum. Oh, he's like a coach.
74:29Oh, God. How old is he? Here we go.
74:32Let's see. Carson Bebeck. I don't know if he can even throw.
74:36Absolutely. Jalen Milrow. I feel like there's 100 quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Alotso.
74:40Arifasan put it well today. He posted that 99% of the time fans want to put in the really toolsy guy who
74:47went in the sixth round to dick around. It's an absolutely insane thing to do.
74:52There's a reason they suck. The Browns should actually just play Taylin Green, the guy out of Arkansas who just can.
74:58Now you're talking. Anthony Richardson, basically. But if he wasn't a good enough thrower to even get drafted in the first four
75:05rounds, like they should just fucking play him. But I know Watson's going to play one more game and they'll hope he gets hurt.
75:13And if not, they'll bench him for week three when they go home.
75:17Yeah. Okay. Is that anything for It's So Over?
75:19We're so bad. Can I give one more? It's So Over.
75:23You brought up the Rams. I think we have to do It's So Over for Miles Garrett going to injured reserve with an arthroscopic knee issue.
75:31Like this guy's not even going to play in America for the first four weeks of the season now.
75:37This is wild. Shout out to Tom Pelissero of The Ringer.
75:40Hell yeah. A little jarring to see sources tell The Ringer in Netflix sports.
75:44But the Rams, yeah. Kind of overshadowing us as journalists, but yeah.
75:48Yeah. Kind of just what about our sources? Craig's sources.
75:51I got plenty of sources, but. We could have figured that out.
75:55You don't hear me bragging about it. You don't hear me reporting.
75:59You don't hear, you don't see me on Netflix talking about my sources.
76:03I mean, this actually is on Netflix. You are talking about your sources.
76:07No, yeah. It's really, it's really impressive. Yeah. What do you guys make of this?
76:11Miles Garrett, they get, he gets traded to the Rams for Jared verse, a first, a second, a third place.
76:17One game has no impact other than the idea of him, which the Niners were initially scared of and then didn't have any quarterback pressure.
76:25He impacted the game, but now just out a month.
76:28Do you guys look at this as like the Rams regret the trade?
76:32Do you see this as nothing? Like, I'm curious.
76:35Aaron Donald, maybe is like, oh fuck. Is Aaron Donald going to be like, well, what?
76:40Well, I thought he was going to be playing.
76:43I don't want to play by myself. McVay's like, get ready, Aaron.
76:47You're playing seven snaps in week two. He's like, I came out of retirement because he was playing.
76:52The Ravens would try to figure out how to undo the trade.
76:56Yeah. Just fail him on the physical. I don't know.
76:59It just makes me think that the Rams are like, it'll be fine.
77:03Like, we don't need to really worry until November.
77:06And I fear that by then there'll be like six and eight, but we'll see.
77:10It would be really awkward if they just started like one in five and then Miles Garrett came back.
77:16And the Rams are just as bad as the Browns.
77:19Ewing theory. Okay. It's time to lock in guys.
77:22It's important. It's time for something actually important. It's time for America's favorite segment is back.
77:27It's been a long time. It's time for fart or shart.
77:30God damn it. We don't have like some clever fart intro sound at the moment.
77:35So it's Craig, you want to fart into a microphone?
77:38I haven't fully digested yet. We just make a fart sound, not actually fart.
77:43Just make a fart sound. Well, don't we have, we have drops from last year that we can put in now.
77:49Right. We can. I don't think anyone was asking for those back, to be honest.
77:54People didn't like those? I don't think so. I didn't like those.
77:57Like 20 seconds of uninterrupted diarrhea sounds? Yeah. I was uncomfortable.
78:01You should just record the Dumb and Dumber diarrhea scene and just play that.
78:05There we go. Is that on Netflix? I don't know.
78:08I like, I love how Heifetz introduces it. He puts so much emphasis and weight on fart.
78:13He does a great job. He goes, fart or shart?
78:17And it's great. I feel like it's like a game show, like Fear Factor or something.
78:21Absolutely. I've been waiting for this for, since February.
78:24DK. Daniel. Oh my God. The Chicago Bears. I'm sure they scored 59 points today.
78:29That might be, you know, that's what's on the outside.
78:32But when you look under the hood, there's a man named Colston Loveland standing there alone in a dark room.
78:38I cannot believe this. Colston Loveland today had two targets, zero catches, zero fantasy points.
78:43The Bears scored 59 motherfucking points. And Colston Loveland had none of them.
78:47DK. Had none of them. DK. Colston Loveland, fart or shart?
78:50This is unequivocally a fart. It's a very loud and disgusting fart.
78:54I love making him say that. It's so good.
78:57It's arguably one of the most embarrassing farts of all time.
79:00Because you drafted him in like the second or third round or whatever it is.
79:05Yes. Fourth round. I mean, the amount of expectations were extremely high on this guy.
79:09And he had literally no catches today. No points.
79:12He didn't score any fantasy points. Craig, you said he didn't score any of the Bears 59 points.
79:18He didn't score a fantasy points. It's zero catches.
79:21Yes. However, if you look at the way that he, like the amount of snaps that he played, the amount of routes
79:27that he ran, he actually ran the second most routes of any tight end in the NFL today.
79:33He ran the most routes on the Bears. He ran 35 routes.
79:37The next highest was Luther Burden at 27. He's going to be fine.
79:41They're not going to have Khalif Rabin eat up nine targets every game.
79:45And he actually did have a end zone target where they lined him up outside on one-on-one situation.
79:50He ran an in route or an in breaking route and Caleb just barely missed him.
79:55And that would have been a touchdown. That could, that will be a touchdown, you know, next week or the week after or whatever.
80:03I think he's going to be fine. But yeah, I mean, this is obviously like a really inauspicious start to the season after that much hype.
80:11But I do think he's going to be fine.
80:13He ran 35 routes, 97% route rate. Like he's out there running routes on pretty much every time they throw the football.
80:20I mean, this can extrapolate even further. I mean, the Bears scored seven touchdowns today and Roma Dunze, Luther Burden, and Colston Lovell had none of them.
80:29Right. That will not happen again. We need a word for when you're out doing stuff and you come home because you
80:35couldn't watch the game and you open your app and you see Bears 59 and you're like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing in my life.
80:44You open it up, scrolling down and seeing Luther Burden or Colston Lovelland zero.
80:48Please send us your submissions for what that should be called because it's the world.
80:53Yeah, it is that. Literally sent this to our group chat.
80:56It's the Anakin Skywalker meme where it's like the Bears have 59 points.
81:00It's like Colston Lovelland must have a catch, right?
81:03Right? What do we call that? We need to say it's the Anakin Skywalker.
81:08I don't know, but we do. Yeah. Email us at ringerfantasyfootballgmail.com if you have a name for when you, yeah.
81:14Basically a team's crushing it and the player does nothing.
81:17Kind of like if Jamar Chase hypothetically had like, I don't know, two points or something in the Bengals one.
81:23I will say though, to the Bears point, just another like while we're blowing smoke up Ben Johnson's ass, I have to say, I saw someone posted.
81:31I forget who had this reel, but I think it's correct.
81:35Jaday Walker is this like, I don't want to say random, but he's like a lower on the depth chart player in the Bears.
81:42And he was just blocking his ass off. He had an incredible pancake block basically on offense and on special teams.
81:49And then you know what happened? Ben Johnson drew him up a touchdown.
81:53And I think that's a tone setting thing. That's a Kyle Shannon thing, right?
81:57No block, like no block, no rock. Like you want the ball?
82:01Block your ass off in every play. And it sends a message.
82:04It's kind of shit DJ Moore's bad at and didn't fit in with the Bears about is like the whole trying when you're not getting the ball thing.
82:13And I think that that was like a very tone setting thing that Ben Johnson did was like, you know, who's going to get the ball?
82:21The people who fucking block. Dude. Not that Colson Loveland doesn't, but it's very intentional.
82:26No block, no rock is one of the best just catchphrases ever.
82:29No block, no rock. Kalief Raymond must block his motherfucking ass off then because Kalief Raymond today led the Bears in targets, catches, and yards.
82:37He had eight catches for 84 yards. DK, how old do you think Kalief Raymond is?
82:4228? He's 32. 32? Kalief Raymond's 32 years old.
82:45What? He's surrounded by some of the most premier 24-year-old athletes you could imagine.
82:49He's just posting you up. He just dominated the game.
82:52He was like Matthew Delvedova in the 2015 finals.
82:55I never understood why he doesn't get the ball more.
82:58Every time Kalief Raymond touches the football, I'm kind of like, he's been good.
83:03I don't know why he didn't play more for the Lions.
83:06I don't know what his deal is, but every time he touches the ball, I'm kind of like, he's doing stuff.
83:12Just a hilarious week one development. There's always like, every month there's a game like this where there's some random fifth string.
83:19Like Olamide Zaccheaus once a year has like 130 yards and two touchdowns.
83:23Right. Very similar. All right, I'm going to turn this shit around on you.
83:28Pun intended. You're going to fart or shart me?
83:30Yeah, buddy. Get ready. Okay. Craig and Heifetz. Oh.
83:33Fart or shart. Devon Achan of the Dolphins. 11 rushes for 36 yards.
83:37Eight points in fantasy. Just behind Kendra Miller. He was the 26th ranked running back in half PBR today.
83:43He was the 13th overall player in ADP. This was probably the easiest game they're going to have all year.
83:49I didn't actually look at their schedule, but you know, the Raiders aren't great.
83:54I think this is a shart. I think I'm starting to be very worried that this is just not going to work all year.
84:01He had 15 touches in this game and he averaged 19 touches last year.
84:05Like that's pretty dramatic. And honestly, this offense is not going to get any better.
84:10The Dolphins are going to win between zero and two games this season.
84:14And a lot of Achan's value came from Tua dumping the ball off and Achan getting like 80 catches or, you know,
84:21the potential to just be like an incredibly leading receiver, an incredibly efficient receiver on these screens that were designed by Mike
84:28McDaniel, just being like the actual rare receiver that can, or running back that can line up at receiver and be good
84:34at receiver instead of just being there for show.
84:37Right. That's all gone now. And Malik Willis is not going to be doing checkdowns.
84:42Like this offense is non-functional in Miami. And the receiving core is non-functional.
84:46Honestly, the player that is Devon Achan now is Ashton Gentry.
84:49And what I mean by that is the guy who's going to be the excellent early down grinder who gets goal line
84:56work, but also can actually maybe lead their team in receiving sometimes is Ashton Gentry.
85:01And I thought that was very clear watching this game today where he's going to be the guy who's like the elite receiving running back.
85:08And Achan, I am very concerned about Achan. I am too.
85:12There's a reason. We had him as our least favorite pick in the second round of drafts this year.
85:18I don't want a player on a team that's tanking and with a quarterback who runs and is not going to check down as much.
85:25I'm very worried. And I don't think most people took him that high.
85:29I can't imagine. But yeah, I'm definitely. Shart. Messy shart.
85:33Yeah. And again, I really like, as stupid as this segment is, I like what we came up with, which is the
85:39definition is like, a fart is a smelly thing you get over and a shart is like, does something have to change?
85:46That's right. Yeah. And yeah, something would have to change for Achan to be, I think, reliable this year.
85:52I think that when he does this again, 11 carries for 36 yards and no touchdowns.
85:57I don't think you're going to be like shocked.
86:00And they're going to be like, oh yeah. Well, there's also something to like, Devon Achan used to have Waddle and Tyreek
86:07Hill on his team that teams had to respect.
86:09And now it's like the only person you need to focus on is Achan.
86:14It's just him. Like there are very few people on this team with any NFL experience as known.
86:19Like it's, it's kind of shocking how few NFL games have been played by the people on offense for the dolphins.
86:26It's stunning. Has there ever been a larger drop-off in wide receiver talent than week one last year?
86:31They had Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddle. And this year it was Caleb Douglas and Chris Bell.
86:37That's a good call. It's probably the biggest, it might be the biggest Delta of all time.
86:42It's a good call. Thank you. You're welcome. DK fucking hated that though.
86:46He didn't say shit. So it's ironic that I hate that segment and my favorite player I had to ask you guys about.
86:53So it's tough, tough scene for me. You don't like the segment because it's like juvenile?
86:58Why? No, it's not. I don't actually hate it.
87:01I don't know. I just don't like when you guys grill me on stuff.
87:05Meet me alone. You don't like being asked questions.
87:08You don't like being asked who will win the Super Bowl before the NFL season.
87:12I don't like being asked questions. It's a rare trait for a podcaster that you don't like to ask questions.
87:19All right. You hate being asked questions. You just give me questions so much.
87:23What's funny is it's actually true. It's not even a bit.
87:26Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck and the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person.
87:32You probably know one, your buddy, your sister, ones who always show up.
87:36They're the first to rise, the last to leave.
87:39They always have that little extra something. And maybe you've got it too.
87:43Chevrolet. Together let's drive. Visit Chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup.
87:46Intrusive thoughts. I like to actually, that's a good intrusive thought.
87:50TK hates being asked questions. I don't like it when you ask me questions.
87:54Yeah. Can I give you guys an intrusive thought I had today?
87:58Okay. Please. I was like, maybe the Packers should have fired Matt LaFleur.
88:02I just think, you know what? All the fans wanted to fire Matt LaFleur at the end of last season because they
88:09kept blowing these games to the Bears. And I was like, you know, that's crazy.
88:13Matt LaFleur is a great coach. He would get snapped up in a second.
88:18You would instantly regret losing Matt LaFleur. He's been incredibly successful.
88:21What have you done for me lately? You're crazy.
88:24And then I'm watching the Packers just blow this game to Carson Wentz.
88:28The Packers blew a 12-point lead to Carson Wentz.
88:31This is an absolutely inexplicable game. Kyler Murray gets hurt.
88:34Kyler Murray gets hurt on the 11th snap for Minnesota.
88:37And the Vikings have 200 fewer yards than the Packers by the end of this game.
88:42And yet the Packers lost. And not only do they blow a 12-point lead, the Packers lost by 17.
88:48And I have to read you two steps. Rob Domovsky at ESPN.
88:51Had this great stat. The Packers have lost six straight games dating back to last season, which is the longest losing streak for Green Bay since 1990.
89:00Oh, wow. And the other one is the Packers.
89:03This is also Josh Dubow at the AP. The Packers had blown a double-digit second-half lead to a division rival three times in the last 40 years.
89:11And now they've done that same thing three times since December 20th.
89:15No. So, like, it's such a competitive division. I don't think you can get handed a better opportunity than week one.
89:21You're dealing with Carson Wentz for almost the entire game.
89:24You're up 12. And you kind of got blown out.
89:27And I'm not saying they should fire Matt LaFleur, but it did kind of keep popping up in my mind how much Packers fans were done with him.
89:36Some Packers fans hated him. And I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
89:40And didn't he sign it? He quietly signed an extension this offseason, didn't he?
89:44The Packers extended him. Because he's a good, very successful head coach who's made the playoffs three years in a row as
89:51the seventh seed, which did not exist five years ago.
89:54And so it's a funny little thing where they also would have missed the playoffs in any other season in NFL history as of, like, 2021.
90:02So it's a funny little thing they got going.
90:05They blitzed. I believe the Vikings blitzed him 78%.
90:08Blitz Jordan loves 78% of the time. Is that in the second half?
90:12On past play. Oh, Brian Flores would not stop.
90:15They destroyed him. And the Packers looked so good for, like, the first two quarters.
90:19They looked at Christian Watson at, like, 130 yards, two touchdowns at half.
90:23Like, everything that we thought the Packers offense was going to be happened.
90:27And then it was a complete reversal and a collapse.
90:30And the Vikings offense was not even that good.
90:33It honestly was like the Texas-Ohio State game or something.
90:36It was like if the Buccaneers had won, it was like that.
90:40But it was just kind of like, how is this even still going?
90:44It was confusing. We kept texting each other. We're like, the Vikings keep scoring points.
90:49Like, this is unbelievable. Yeah. It's 30. Stop them.
90:51They're not in points. They lost by 17. I can't even believe this.
90:55What's that policy called in stores? What was that policy called in stores where if you steal a certain amount under a
91:02certain value, they're not even allowed to go? Like, a no chase policy?
91:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was how it felt. Like, the Packers defense, like, couldn't even try to stop the fight.
91:12Like, Justin Jefferson was unbelievable in this game. But I don't know.
91:16I don't understand how Jordan Addison doesn't even have a catch.
91:20And Justin Jefferson has 92 yards and two touchdowns.
91:22He had two touchdowns all last year. If I'm the Packers and Carson Wentz, this is what frustrates me.
91:28Carson Wentz comes in. I watched enough of the Vikings.
91:31Never mind the fucking Green Bay Packers. I watched enough of Carson Wentz with the Vikings.
91:36All he does is be like, I'm going to throw it at Justin Jefferson.
91:41That's all he fucking does. And you know what?
91:43If he doesn't get to Justin Jefferson, he probably just gets sacked.
91:47It's like, I know it's simplistic sometimes to be like double Justin Jefferson.
91:51Force Carson Wentz to throw it anywhere else. And they kind of couldn't?
91:55I don't understand that. I don't understand. Can I ask a dumb hypothetical?
91:59Maybe this isn't dumb. I don't know. If so, let's say Kyler's out next week.
92:04He got a concussion. I'm guessing he probably will miss at least one game.
92:08And Wentz wins again. Do they have to give back the job to Kyler?
92:12Or do they stay with Wentz and be like, well, we're just kind of rolling.
92:17Especially if they win next week. No, they go back to Kyler, I think.
92:21Can you imagine J.J. McCarthy, the fact that he's not the second strength?
92:25The starting quarterback got hurt in the first five minutes of the game.
92:29And J.J. McCarthy was not good enough to get in.
92:33I just can't believe that. He's the emergency backup.
92:35It's crazy. He's probably sitting there like, what the fuck happened?
92:39They're literally calling on the backup quarterback. And it is not me.
92:42The only reason I ask that question about Wentz, though, is because the way that the competition went with Kyler and J.J.
92:49McCarthy, Wentz was a third distant option. I don't even know if he was on the team until recently.
92:55When did they sign him anyway? He's been there.
92:58He was there last year. Oh, my bad. I didn't hear about him until last week when it was revealed that Wentz
93:05was actually the backup quarterback, not J.J. McCarthy. He was kind of always going to be the second straight.
93:11Well, it's just because he's the veteran and everything.
93:13But here's the reason I thought of that. It came into my head.
93:17It's like the competition between Kyler and J.J. McCarthy did not go well.
93:21From all the reports, it was like basically Kyler is not pulling away from McCarthy.
93:26They're both pretty bad. And it would be like day.
93:29I mean, Kyler threw a pick on his first pass.
93:32Right. First throw, which got a race because, you know, the concussion like.
93:36And we were talking about how terrible their offense looked at the beginning of the game.
93:41And then as soon as they began to have talk that J.J.
93:45McCarthy might actually win this competition, like Kevin O'Connell was like, Kyler, you're the starter.
93:50We're just calling it. I'm not dealing with this bullshit.
93:53I'm not going to let it like go into the court of public opinion.
93:57Kyler is the starter and we're going with Kyler.
94:00And it kind of felt like he just did that because he didn't want it to be like a controversy at all.
94:07And he just never considered starting J.J. McCarthy. Now I'm just like, what if Wentz is actually just better for this offense?
94:13I mean, like Heifetz said, like he throws it, throws it to the Italians, pass it to the Italians, throw it to J.J.
94:20or Justin Jefferson. And maybe this offense actually functions better.
94:24I don't know. Probably not. But I think the Vikings will have will end up passing the Browns for the most quarterbacks
94:30to start over the last like five years or something.
94:33If Carson Wentz starts next week or just the amount of different players and maybe their time.
94:39But like they've had such a revolving door. Part of me is there is something to the backup quarterback thing where it's
94:45like I almost think maybe it ended up working to the Vikings advantage with the Packers playing for Kyler Murray probably for
94:52like five months and then kind of played Carson Wentz.
94:55And then that'll work for like a week. But I don't think Carson Wentz will work over the course of a month.
95:02Craig, do you have any other intrusive thoughts? Yeah.
95:05You know, we always have a couple of take purges that we don't say because we don't fully feel them in our hearts, in our guts.
95:13They're not fully intrusive. I kind of was – I always had a little kernel of a thought about like, is there
95:20any chance that the Cardinals are just going to be like decent?
95:24Like could the Cardinals offense be okay? And watching this game today, I'm like, I don't know, man.
95:29Jacoby Brissett is not a great quarterback. He has had moments of being like a serviceable starter in the NFL.
95:35But I just look at their team and I'm like, all right.
95:39I'm watching Jeremiah Love, who I think is really good.
95:42And I'm watching Trey McBride, who was awesome once again and is like weirdly underrated.
95:47Every single game he has like six catches for 90 yards.
95:50Dude, he's a beast. Marvin Harrison and Michael Wilson are rock solid.
95:54Kendrick Bourne's a really good number three. They had Tyler Algier.
95:57And I'm like, they have a LaFleur call in place who's done three years with Shanahan, three years with McVay.
96:03And I'm kind of like – I know the schedule is terrible, but I thought they blocked well today.
96:09And I'm like, I don't know. Is there any chance that the Cardinals are not that bad?
96:15I had the exact same thought, Greg. I was like, maybe we completely just forgot to even consider the idea that the Cardinals offense might be good.
96:23Like they put up points last year. They lost all those games.
96:27But that wasn't necessarily because the offense was losing those games, right?
96:30The Cardinals were the most injured team in the league by certain – like adjusted games lost.
96:36And they kept the defensive coordinator, Nick Rallis. And I think that's kind of an underrated thing sometimes when a head coach
96:42comes in like Michael Fleur that could have other options.
96:45He's the 10th coach hired, so maybe he didn't.
96:48But they're not having a new system on defense.
96:51Which when you get all the injured guys back, like that can help a lot, which probably also the Chargers dealt with today too.
96:58It's not a new system. And the defense looked really good today.
97:02Anyway, that was just an intrusive thought. Another one I had was that – what if – should we bring back the preseason?
97:09Should we play more – should we go back to four preseason games and like start playing more in the preseason?
97:16You know what I don't like? I don't like this thing now where it's like, well, week one, no one's ready.
97:22I'm like, that doesn't seem right. Why are we doing it that way?
97:26I would like all the players to be ready.
97:29I don't want guys getting hurt and fumbling all over the place and there's penalties.
97:34Play in the preseason. I want my teams to be ready.
97:37What made me think of this weirdly, I came across an article today about Nutella, the hazelnut spread.
97:43And there was a report out that Nutella has reduced the amount of hazelnuts in the actual spread.
97:48Nutella is 13% hazelnuts, which is slightly alarming. Okay.
97:51It is mostly sugar and palm oil and they just decreased the amount of hazelnuts in the spread.
97:57And apparently you can tell because it's lighter in color.
98:00And I'm like – my loose connection is that like this is what the NFL is doing.
98:05And I'm like, eh, add more hazelnuts. Play more preseason games.
98:08I want my players and I want the teams to be ready week one.
98:13I want to go back to four preseason games.
98:15Go back to two a days. Yeah. Practice more and more preseason games, please.
98:20That was my intrusive thought today. It is true though that like now the NFL season you just kind of have to
98:27bake in that there's going to be like a month of just really sloppy bullshit.
98:31That used to be what the preseason was for.
98:34Well, it's funny. Maybe that's what the Cowboys defense was doing.
98:37They weren't trying very hard because it was a preseason game to them.
98:41It's like a lot of the narrative is like, well, these guys haven't really seen game speed a lot.
98:47You know? They haven't really seen that yet. So that's what they're working on with the kinks now.
98:53I'm like, well, that's what fucking preseason's for. It doesn't make any sense.
98:57Well, I mean the obvious response to that is that we'd have more players hurt by the time the season started.
99:03Would we? Or are more players getting hurt in week one?
99:07I don't know. So maybe they probably have studies on that.
99:10What is palm oil? Palm oil. That's a great question.
99:13I don't know. I guess I don't know what palm oil is.
99:17Palm oil is sugar, palm oil, and hazelnuts. I'm like, what is palm oil?
99:21It's probably like a vegetable or a canola oil or something.
99:25Yeah. Wow. Not much hazelnut. One of those cheap oils.
99:28It's kind of like there's not much bird in an owl.
99:31You know what I mean? Owls aren't that big.
99:34It's mostly feathers. There's not much bird in an owl.
99:37It's exactly like that. Google a diagram of an owl.
99:40Have you ever seen a wet owl? Yeah, exactly.
99:43A wet owl. Not much bird in there. We should power rank worst animals to look at wet.
99:49Dude, look at wet owls. They look ridiculous. Palm oil is an edible vegetable oil derived from the reddish mesocarp of the fruit of the African oil palm.
99:57Totally. Solved it. So we figured that out. Did you guys Google wet owls yet?
100:02I don't want to because I like owls. I've already done it.
100:06I've probably already seen it, too. Anyway. Okay. Best quote of the day.
100:10You mentioned Baker blaming the headsets not working. Yeah.
100:12Any of the quotes stuck out to you guys?
100:15I wanted to bring up Tom Brady's back, and I thought he was incredibly mediocre today.
100:20I do not think he improved. He was exactly the same as I remembered him.
100:25And he had a quote today that I know he didn't make up.
100:29Brett Favre, I believe. Or he said Brett Favre said this.
100:32But it was so anachronistic to the way that he speaks usually.
100:36He was like, he dropped it in there like a butterfly with sore legs.
100:40I know. I heard that. And Burkhart was like, what?
100:43And he's like, oh, you know, it just means like a ball's kind of dropped perfectly in his arms.
100:49And I'm like, Brady, you know, like people who like have a word of the day and they like mix in a
100:56really, you know, elaborate vocabulary word that doesn't really fit in their typical way of speaking.
101:01I'm like, Brady is just, I don't know what he's trying.
101:04He's all over the place to me. It reminds me a little bit of like the people that go to like a
101:11class to be better salesmen or something. And then they just start saying your first name every time with every sentence they say.
101:18It's like, stop saying my name. I'm like, we've known each other for a long time.
101:23Josh Allen with the Bills? I know you're with the Bills.
101:27Yeah, Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills. He kept like, he kept saying Rasul Douglas his full name.
101:32I'm like, you don't need, he'd be like, so Rasul Douglas here sees Devontae Smith and then Rasul Douglas decides to attack the ball.
101:40And I thought that was a great job by Rasul Douglas.
101:43I'm like, what are you doing? You don't have to do that.
101:47I know you know him. We all know that.
101:49You're Tom Brady. You're Tom Brady. Tom Brady. I don't know.
101:53No one else felt that way? I definitely clocked that expression.
101:56I think you're the reason he stopped yelling. Are you guys afraid of my criticism of Tom Brady?
102:02Do you think he's going to come back and get us?
102:05No, I think you're the reason he stopped yelling, though.
102:08I think that you're impression of him on the rewatchables where he did the Jalen Hurts.
102:13So good. KB. He stopped doing that like four days after you made fun of him.
102:18Like on the rewatchables. I don't think this is this show, but I do think someone sent him that clip because he stopped doing it immediately.
102:26I feel like sometimes when I offer my critiques of him, you two get silent.
102:31I will say, Craig, just to say fuck you.
102:34There was a point in the game right before the half, I think it was.
102:38Brady was like, he said, the offense is inefficient passing.
102:41Offense has been me ocher. And I was like, that's probably him actually talking.
102:46That's funny because he brought his. But you know what?
102:49He does say every once in a while, he's good.
102:52Like the Jaden Daniels play at the end of the game where.
102:56And I had a flex category today of like worst play of the day.
103:00I thought the commander's two point conversion play was terrible.
103:03They did that like shuffle pass thing to the tight end.
103:06His name I'm blanking on. And I thought it was terrible.
103:10John Bates. It was John Bates. And Rashad White was open in the flat.
103:14And apparently Jaden just made that call. But whatever.
103:17Brady had a great line. He said, in big moments, you need to think about players, not plays.
103:23And I was like, he's like, it doesn't matter.
103:25It's more important to the player, not design the cutest, most perfect play.
103:29So I think Brady still can do it. And sometimes it just comes to him and like his natural instincts kick it.
103:36And he could be good. Well, I think that is the heart of the criticism is.
103:41We know it's in you. You just like talk.
103:44Like when he was on the Madden cast and stuff, it was so much more natural.
103:49It's so. It's just he's trying to be too buttoned up.
103:52He's trying to be a network guy. Mike Tomlin.
103:55NBC now. I'm like, they neutered him. Yeah. I'm like, you took the loosest, most relaxed person.
104:00You Jason Garrett if I had him. I'm like, Tom Brady.
104:04Again. Let loose, man. Anytime he's not being paid $30 million a year to talk about football.
104:09Tom Brady is the most interesting person here. Did you guys hear Russell Wilson?
104:13Russell Wilson kind of had a. He went a little hot today on the CBS pregame show.
104:19I actually did not hear him. Give me the recap.
104:22How was he? Russell Wilson said what we've been talking about.
104:25I've been saying the Bengals are like small, small market NBA team.
104:29He basically said if the Bengals aren't good this year, Burrow is going to leave.
104:33And that he wants to leave. I was like, yeah, there we go.
104:37Russ. That's a little too. Not just saying like really random boring shit.
104:41I'm like, way to start out strong. That actually is a good quote of the day.
104:46That is the thing. I don't know if it's a rumor being spun up by other teams.
104:52I think the Rams want Joe Burrow, to be honest.
104:55I think Ty Simpson was a trade chip to send to the Bengals for Joe Burrow when Stafford retires.
105:01Fascinating. It's like a just in case trade chip.
105:03I think that they're spinning. I think the Rams are spinning yarns that among other teams that also the genuine reality possibility
105:10that Joe Burrow wants out of Cincinnati. Do you think that they got word that the Bengals liked Ty Simpson?
105:16Because otherwise, why wouldn't they just give them first round picks?
105:20They just want Ty Simpson to look good and they trade him away.
105:24Because it's like what the Browns did with Jared Verse.
105:27They'd rather have a first than a player than just two firsts.
105:31It just makes them feel better. It's easier for fans.
105:34It's easier for the executives not get fired. We want someone we know is good and a first.
105:39And then you count that player as first. And someone we know is good is supposed to be Ty Simpson?
105:45If he plays well, yeah, that would be nice.
105:48When's he going to play? I don't know. We'll figure that out later.
105:52I feel like I want to pick my quarterback and them telling me who I get to pick.
105:58Well, then you – I don't know. You could trade – well, I don't know.
106:02They don't have any picks, so I don't know.
106:05That's interesting though. That's fascinating. But we'll see what happens.
106:08Again, if the Bengals do really well, I don't think Joe Burrow wants to leave.
106:13But I do think – it's very much to me an NBA situation.
106:17The Bengals did everything Joe Burrow asked because they wanted Joe Burrow to stay.
106:21To be fair, the Bengals are spending money. They signed Jamarchais, Higgins, Gesicki, but like now they're – if they don't get
106:28anywhere now, it's like, well, it's because they do everything the way Joe Burrow wants.
106:33Worst ref call or coach decision of the day.
106:36I have to give this to the referees, to this bizarre Jared Goff backward pass that did not count as a fumble.
106:42Because apparently in the NFL, if a quarterback throws a pass backward, it's a fumble, as we learned with the Zach Charbonnet screen.
106:49Like, it doesn't matter. It's a pass backwards, a fumble, and we all know that.
106:54But apparently, if the quarterback is trying to throw it forward and the defender hits them so goddamn hard that the quarterback
107:01ends up throwing the pass backward, that doesn't count.
107:04Apparently, this has been a rule. I feel like I not only did know this but have never heard of this.
107:10This is the great part about the NFL rulebook is you learn a new rule every week.
107:15Jared Goff threw this pass 20 yards backwards. Like, he got hit.
107:19He was trying to throw it forward. Got hit so hard, he threw it backward.
107:24And the Saints scored a touchdown. The Saints should have won the game because of this play.
107:29And Mike Pereira – I wrote it down because what he said to me was so – not to me.
107:35He said it to everyone on TV. That's like what my parents did.
107:39I mean, technically, he kind of said it to you.
107:42Yeah. But Mike Pereira was like – he started his throwing motion.
107:46This is about Jared Goff. Jared Goff started his throwing motion.
107:49Now a throwing motion is bringing the ball up.
107:52Forget about the hand at this point going forward.
107:55The throwing motion starts, hand going up. Then he gets hit.
107:58Ball comes loose, so his intent was to throw it forward.
108:02And since that motion was started, it's a forward pass no matter where it lands.
108:06What the fuck does – end quote. What do you mean it's a forward pass no matter where it lands?
108:13If it lands backward, it's a backward pass. How is a backward pass a forward pass because you meant to do it?
108:19Yeah, that's what it is. It's – the rule is he meant to throw it forward.
108:24He tried. What the fuck is this rule? Who wrote this?
108:28What was your intention? What do you intend to do with this football?
108:32Who fucking wrote this? It's also just like so funny because like this rule is specifically the throw starts when you – the ball comes up.
108:40The throwing motion is like – But then a fumble is like a fumble versus an incomplete pass is like your hand has to be coming forward.
108:48It's related to the tuck rule, I think, like the idea of a throwing motion.
108:53There are situations you need it. But I feel like I did not know this.
108:57I didn't know it either. You get hit so hard and throw backwards that that doesn't – that one – you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
109:06What the fuck are you talking about? I feel like the NFL rule book is just filled with rules that had to
109:13be created because of one thing that happened one time.
109:16Yes. And they're like, well, we have – we've never seen this before.
109:20We have to make a rule about it. It will come up once every 50 years.
109:25I don't understand. Well, there's a lot of like – I don't even know how to put this.
109:30There's rules and then there's also like a separate book of play instances that teams can use as an example of the enforcement of this rule.
109:38Yeah, the case book. The case book. There's also hundreds of pages.
109:42There's also a case book. I invoke case 24 section B.
109:45There's a reason every ref is like a lawyer.
109:48A fucking lawyer. This is like the public defender.
109:51The Lions or the Saints needed a better public defender on this one.
109:55What's the second most complicated sport? That's a great question.
109:58Probably baseball. Yeah, baseball has a lot going on.
110:01Baseball is – yeah, like a balk is kind of like, man.
110:05It's pretty subjective. But also it's funny. Even the strike zone.
110:08It's like the idea of like, oh, no. Like if you do the automatics, you have to define it.
110:14You have to challenge it quickly enough. You know that thing that's the basis of every moment of baseball, the strike zone?
110:21You're like, yeah. Who knows where that thing is?
110:23Just ask the umps. They're kind of different based on each one.
110:27Okay. We need to do a Lucille Bluth. I don't understand the stat line.
110:31I won't respond to it. I need to do I don't understand this story or this headline.
110:37And I can't respond to it. Did you guys see this guy who got to call plays for Akron?
110:43D1 football program, Akron, let a fan win a raffle to call their plays in their first season.
110:48Like a minor league receiver. I kind of didn't – Wait, like for one quarter?
110:53For one play? Like a few plays in the first drive.
110:56And I saw that this was going on. And I'm not going to lie.
111:01I didn't actually think they would do it. I kind of just thought it was a bit.
111:06Yeah. Why did they do that? They didn't get any money?
111:09Like this was for fun? I think they needed money and attention and they're like – I don't know.
111:15How much money did they get? Wow. What was the raffle?
111:18I don't know, man. When's the last time we talked about Akron?
111:22That's why. And I think they're the worst team in college football 27.
111:26I played with Akron when I started because they're the worst team.
111:30And they clearly are desperate. So they let a fan call the plays in the opening drive.
111:35And they worked with the coaching staff for a few weeks to figure out the plays.
111:40The new Savannah Bananas. But they let them do it.
111:43They had guys out there on stilts. I can't believe that that happened.
111:47And it was funny. Nick Saban video chatted with the guy on college game day and was like, the fans are going to want you to pass.
111:56Just don't run the ball. So the guy runs.
111:58He gets stuffed. And the guy runs. Gets stuck.
112:01It's third and 11. Sack fumble. This fucking fans were in the headset.
112:05He did a run run pass after all that?
112:08Nick Saban told him to. Idiot. I would have called a fucking hook and ladder.
112:13First play of the game. Well, Nick Saban literally says, if you don't listen to me, call Flea Flicker because it'll be cool.
112:20Yeah. Hook and ladder. Flea Flicker. You're. The NCAA has had enough struggles.
112:24This is this is rock bottom. You don't think rock bottom was someone getting cut from the Browns to go into LSU, which in retrospect, great call.
112:32LSU seems way more fun than the Browns. I thought that was rock bottom.
112:36Like Europeans playing college basketball and pros in the NFL going back.
112:40But now it's they're literally pulling fans off the street to call plays for a gimmick to make money.
112:46Dude, the name of the fan that got to call plays.
112:49His name is Marty Wims. Wims. Marty Wims. Who I think was just unfrozen from 1922.
112:54Marty Wims. They're making a documentary about him. What the fuck is it?
112:58I can't. Again, I knew this was happening, but I was like, well, they're not really going to let him do it.
113:05Right. He's like, you're not actually like. I gotta say.
113:08He's preselected. He was there. The school sold more than half of its season tickets in two weeks after the announcement.
113:15And it got more than a billion impressions on social media.
113:18This is a fucking sideshow now. That's what we've become.
113:21Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, they should just do every game.
113:26Marty Wims. He's right. Akron should be the Akron Bananas and they should partner with Savannah and they should just travel around.
113:32And every team they play, they hire. They bring somebody off the street to call the plays.
113:38We did nail the Savannah Bananas for football thing, which is that the kickers need to come out of the tunnel like closers in baseball.
113:45Kickers need songs. I think there should be like light changes, like spotlight on them coming out.
113:51I want them lowered from a wire. Trumpets. Yeah.
113:53Yeah. Exactly. What do we do? Didn't Katy Perry come in on some elephant?
113:58Just do that shit or whatever. Something like that.
114:01Come in in a rhino like Ace Ventura 2.
114:03Crawl out. Exactly. Stuff like that. Yeah. Now you're fucking thinking, Craig.
114:07Something like that. How cool would that be? You know, Evan McPherson crawls out of a literal stuffed Bengal tiger.
114:13That'd be amazing. Just makes it naked. That's real entertainment.
114:16That's good. Yeah. In the past. So sorry for repeating myself, but I think no player in the NFL has a higher
114:23celebration to plays ratio than Mike Kosicki. That's 100%.
114:26He celebrates more than any player in the world.
114:29It's so true. In any sport. Every play that he makes is like a fucking basketball.
114:34It's like in baseball. I don't know if you guys have seen that.
114:38Subnoxious. Or it's like a full fucking production. People are coming in off the sidelines.
114:42They're all dancing together. It's like crazy. Yeah. He'd be good on the Dodgers.
114:47Every time they get a hit, they do the little Freddie Freeman dance.
114:51He's got this whole fucking routine for every fucking play he makes.
114:54Do you think when he doesn't make a play?
114:57What's the number? Is it 80% of his catches?
115:00He's doing something. What do you think? He's doing something.
115:03I don't know. It does feel that way. DK, this is a great call.
115:07That guy won't stop dancing. I'm not even saying.
115:10No, I'm not saying it as like derogatory. I'm just stating a fact.
115:14He celebrates an obscene amount. And it's kind of great, but also kind of annoying.
115:19He's soaking it up. Do you guys think Mike Kosicki's gritty is bad?
115:23Or do you just pretend to think it's bad because other people said it was bad?
115:28No, it's bad. But did you really notice that with your own eyes?
115:32No, it's bad. It's horrific. It's like what I would look like doing a gritty.
115:36I think he's better. He's the gangliest human being in the NFL.
115:40He is. He's really tall and lanky. I did have the thought today.
115:44I'm not kidding. I had this thought. I was like, damn, Justin Jefferson's gritty is really smooth.
115:49It's like second nature to him. Yeah. It's impressive.
115:52He's like, yeah, it's the gritties based on him.
115:55Well, I know. I was stealing it from his friend.
115:58He's like MJ out there. Michael Jackson. Like doing the fucking moonwalk.
116:02He just does it better than anyone else. I was happy to see him getting the opportunity to do it three times today.
116:09Yeah. It was nice. I want to just create a category here called coolest shit of the week.
116:14And I just want to do it between two Washington plays.
116:18One where Sonny Stiles, the linebacker at Ohio State for Washington, just destroyed Saquon Barkley.
116:22The hardest I've ever seen Saquon get hit. And then he sacked Jalen Hurts in like the same play.
116:28Sonny Stiles looks awesome. He ran through Saquon. Crazy.
116:31He looks very good. Yeah. And then the same game, Washington had the greatest special teams rep of all time by Tyler
116:38Owens, who was, you know, when the punt gunners go one versus the two guys in defense.
116:43And he somehow outran both the guys. No, not only that.
116:47He stiff armed both of them to the ground.
116:49Beat the shit out of them. And then he like stomped over them.
116:53He punched both of them in the face to the ground, then jumped over them, and then tackled, and then suplexed the punt returner.
117:01He picked him up and like jumped on him.
117:04He beat the shit out of three people on this play.
117:07That those two defenders guarding him were fans that paid to do that in the raffle.
117:12Marty Quims. Craig, who are the names of these fans?
117:15Washington needs a little extra juice. And so they thought, whatever.
117:18They're on a gunner. Who cares? No one even watches fucking special teams.
117:22I think the Steelers should make Darnell Washington a gunner just for a play.
117:27Yeah, it'd be like a rail gun. That would just be like just cutting people in half.
117:32I added a category here without telling you guys.
117:35The Cloyce Box Award for Random Stat that Leads You Down to Wikipedia Rabbit Hole.
117:39Hmm. Okay. The Chicago Bears had six rushing touchdowns in week one, tied with the week one record with the 1920 Detroit
117:46Heralds, the 1920 Rock Island Independents, and the 1922 Canton Bulldogs.
117:50Hell yes. I know where this is going. And I wanted to just read you some names from these people.
117:56Tied with this. So we have the 1920 Detroit Heralds.
117:59We have the 1920 Rock Island Independents. Yes. Where's Rock Island?
118:02I believe it's in Lake Michigan. I don't know, actually.
118:05It's somewhere near Chicago. I believe it's an old, old wooden ship.
118:09I don't know. All these places are near Chicago.
118:12So the quarterback for the 1920 Detroit Heralds was named Steamer Horning.
118:16Steamer. That's pretty good. That's Steamer. What's his last name?
118:19Horning. Horning. Steamer. Steamer. His dad invented a steam engine, I think.
118:22Steamer was named a first-team All-American by Walter Camp, who invented football.
118:26Steamer. Walter Camp said, that guy's All-American. Did Steamer ever play for a team in Cleveland?
118:31No, but he drafted. Funny. But he's drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates in baseball.
118:35Oh, come on. Yeah, come on, TK. Greg gets offended at the weirdest stuff.
118:40TK, we're two hours in. Have some class, all right?
118:43It's two in the morning. Have some class. Okay, continue.
118:46The Rock Island Independence. Mm-hmm. Can I read you their opponents from that season in 1920?
118:51Please do. Week one, the St. Paul Ideals. Yeah.
118:54The St. Paul Ideals. Okay. Week two, the Muncie Flyers.
118:57Muncie? Muncie. Okay. Week three, the Hammond Pros. Yeah.
119:00It's remarkable that the stats for these games have made it 100 years.
119:04Dude, it's insane. Because it was just one dude writing this stuff down, right?
119:08There's one guy in the stands writing it down on a piece of paper.
119:12A hundred years ago, we still got it. Sam whatever.
119:15Sam whatever. Dude, there was a team. It's older.
119:18It's older. And it's still, we have it. We didn't lose it in the great flood of 1917.
119:24No, we wrote it down and we still have all that.
119:27We're hauling it into a newspaper. Right. Yeah. Thorn Tornadoes.
119:30Oh, yeah. And of course, the Dayton Triangles. We've talked about the triangles.
119:34Yeah. I have a Triangles t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. What's the shape of it?
119:38Fuck. That's a good point. Another one for the Rock Island Independence was Mickey Hole.
119:43How are we spelling hole? No. H-O-L-E. Okay. Mickey Hole.
119:46Hole. I don't know why that's really good. Mickey Hole of the Rock Island Independence.
119:51Hey, I'm going out tonight, Dad. I'm dating this new guy.
119:54What's his name? Mick Hole. Mick Hole. Don't worry.
119:57He plays for the Rock Island Independence. He's a good guy.
120:00His name is Michael Hole. Yeah. The Canton Bulldogs had a player named Norb Sackstraeter.
120:05Come on. This is like fucking. This is like Mad Libs for names.
120:09Norb Sackstraeter. Yeah, Norb. Norb. What is Norb short for?
120:12Norb. I wanted to talk to you guys about this.
120:15Norb. Norb. Norbert. Norbert. Oh, Norbert. Yeah. Norb Sackstraeter.
120:18Isn't Norb a movie? Yes. Norb. 2007 film. Yeah.
120:21There's also Wookiee Roberts and Candy Miller. Candy. Candy's good.
120:24That's good. But Norb. Norb. My favorite. Norb. Norb.
120:26Norb. Saxton. Saxton. I do. Mickey. Mick hole is a good one.
120:30Mickey. All right. Should we get to two players who outscored Kyle Pitts at a lie?
120:35Sure. So we're back. Cooper Rush. Tough game for the Falcons.
120:39God. Can you just say everyone? When we invented Kyle Pitts and two players who outscored Kyle Pitts in a lie four
120:45years ago, I don't think any of us thought it would still be going, but here we are.
120:51Blake White. So two players outscored Kyle Pitts at a lie.
120:54Blake White Hart. Jake Brendel. Colston Loveland. Is this a trick question?
120:58It's a trick. I believe Kyle Pitts had zero points and I know Colston Loveland had zero points.
121:04So it's between two people who I genuinely have never heard of.
121:07Blake White Hart. Blake White Hart. He played for the Dayton Triangles in 1917.
121:12And Jake Brendel. I don't know. I'll go with White Hart.
121:15Yeah. Jake and wait, are we picking one or two?
121:18Oh, it's two. Okay. It's Blake and Jake. Yeah.
121:21Blake and Jake. So they had more than zero points.
121:24So Blake. Blake White Hart is a tight end for the Browns.
121:28Jake Brendel is an offensive lineman for the 49ers.
121:30He's the one who caught the pass. He's the one who caught the pass.
121:35In the Rams Niners game. Okay. And he had a catch.
121:38Unlike Kyle Pitts this week. So this is a nice segue into the burn book, which if you're here for the first
121:45time, we have a burn book of all the players who have burned us each year.
121:50And every week we put one person into the book, just like in Mean Girls.
121:55And we never revisit them again. They're dead to us for the season.
121:59For whatever reason, they're dead to us. Week one now.
122:02I love. Week one's always interesting because it's like, how much do you want to overreact?
122:07We usually like to say injuries are not a reason to burn somebody.
122:11But for rare cases, they can be. And I would like to nominate A.J.
122:15Brown. It was like the whole dead dove do not eat thing.
122:19I think it absolutely has to be A.J. Brown.
122:22It's not his fault. He got rolled up on.
122:24But now he has a high ankle. He's on IR.
122:27And now there's reports like it's not even going to be four weeks.
122:31It might be six. It'll probably be about six weeks.
122:34Yeah. And it's more annoying because A.J. Brown, he actually looked really good for two of the catches.
122:40And then. Craig called him a Mustang. You know.
122:43Craig texted when I think A.J. Brown's first catch, he goes, he's a Mustang.
122:47He caught some ball in the flat. He looked like Devin Singletary out there.
122:52He looked amazing. God. Anybody? Any other nominations? I know it's good to do an injured person.
122:57No. That's. That's. I mean, it's the correct answer.
123:00It makes more sense. It's 100% the correct answer.
123:02What about Kyle Pitts? He's at zero points. I mean.
123:05The book is named after Kyle Pitts. This is the Kyle Pitts burn book.
123:10Who are you more mad at? If you drafted Kyle Pitts.
123:13Myself. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you drafted.
123:17If I fucking started Kyle Pitts. I did start Kyle Pitts in a league or two.
123:22You did? With Cooper Rush? Well, like, like mathematically DK starts every player in the NFL across all of his leagues.
123:28Right. That's true. Across the 40. He's basically. He's a multiverse.
123:31Really? A little bit of everyone. You know? 40 leagues.
123:34DK is a multiverse. I think people are more mad at AJ Brown.
123:39I think AJ Brown's not even close. It has to be AJ Brown.
123:43Literally, it's such a fuck. Also, the fact that it's like the first game of the season.
123:48I am. It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. And you're like, my second round pick is sucks.
123:53And it's over. And it's done. I drafted Saquon Barkley this year.
123:57And I feel fucking horrible about it. And I just.
124:00I don't know why. I don't want to be a part of the Eagles.
124:04I know they even played well today, kind of.
124:07And it hurts. But I just hate. I hate being a part of the Eagles offense.
124:12Great. I think it's miserable. It was such an Eagles game.
124:15Swiss texting us like right. Like early in the game about how fucking Saquon is limping.
124:20He was. He's like, I fucking hate. I hate.
124:23I hate it because. Because. Because the box score doesn't do it justice.
124:27They had basically three good plays. And hurts made great throws.
124:30And I'll give those to him. Outside of that, the second half, they had.
124:35Three. Four of their drives were three and outs and a punt.
124:39They couldn't get any yardage. They can't run the ball.
124:42Devontae Smith didn't do anything. They can't. It was basically like three seam passes to Dallas Goddard and a deep ball to Dontavian Wicks.
124:49And otherwise, the offense is anemic. And Devontae Smith had like one great play.
124:53And like. But you're right. It was like five great plays in the passing game.
124:58And just. It's like dragging. Exactly what it was before.
125:01Wagon through the mud. And I hate it. Why do we not listen to ourselves and just be like, when we hate
125:08a team, just don't take players in the team.
125:11Why don't we just do that? Because the problem is.
125:14Saquon was sitting there for a price that I thought was reasonable.
125:17And I needed a running back. And sometimes you got to do that.
125:21It's different in Snake. When you're doing auction. It's like.
125:25If it's there and it's a good value, you do it.
125:28And then you're like. Why did I. And then the season starts.
125:32And you forget how much you paid. And then he's.
125:35Yeah. It's just. I'm sure Saquon will be fine.
125:38He better be. Offensive line looks like shit. Okay.
125:40AJ Brown, you're in the burn book. Did you see the interview.
125:44They asked Jordan Mailata. About the Australia thing. Did you see that?
125:48No. What did he say? Oh. He was like.
125:51You got to fly. You got to do what the Niners did.
125:54Are you kidding me? The person that. He's like.
125:57You can't go the day before. That's insane. Can we?
126:00Yeah. Can we. We got to talk about this some more.
126:04Like that was the dumbest idea ever. The person that I.
126:07The day before. Do you know who said it was stupid?
126:10He's like. He's like. He's like. But you know the person who said it was stupid that I can't believe we didn't think to talk about this before.
126:19John McEnroe. I was watching the US Open. And.
126:22It was a fun US Open and John McEnroe because they have the Australian Open.
126:26And John McEnroe was like. Yeah. That's insane. You can't do that.
126:30Your body's like. We'll never adjust. He's like. It's hard for me to go as an announcer.
126:35Yeah. He probably did it for 15 years. How many fucking thousands of fucking athletes have flown to Australia?
126:41Forgot. Why are they saying. Why is the Rams.
126:44Why do the Rams are just like. Oh. We'll send 15 staffers.
126:48Yeah. To Australia and see how they feel. I have to say.
126:51It is very funny to me in retrospect. Being like.
126:55They sending. Yeah. Sending 15 staffers and trying to do their own little study.
126:59And I'm like. If you just talk to the tennis players.
127:02They probably would have been like. Don't do that.
127:05Talk to any of the thousands and thousands and thousands of athletes that have flown to Australia in history.
127:11It's the drafting Ty Simpson of flight plans. Right.
127:14It's just like galaxy brain. Yeah. You know. You know the meme of the guy with the brain that comes out of
127:21his head and then like he's like sitting on his brain like it's a recliner.
127:25Yeah. Like that. That's this plan. Just show up right on time.
127:29Show up right before. If you stay on L.A.
127:32I just love that every person who's actually had like real life experience going to and from Australia is like no.
127:38Absolutely not. Have you flown 15 hours before? Also apparently.
127:41Qantas is trying to get rid of this plane.
127:44I heard like some like one off thing about how like Qantas doesn't even want this plane.
127:49The three eight. The A380. That's because they're so embarrassed by what happened.
127:53So like we can't be associated with that. The cutting point anymore.
127:57Yeah. It's not even a thing. Craig, do you want to tell us what this Toronto Film Festival before we leave?
128:04It's been really fun. I've really enjoyed Toronto. This is only I've only other I've only been to Sundance.
128:09It's the only film festival I've been to. So now this is number two and it's very different.
128:15These are much more like commercial movies. Tiff. It's a much more like kind of populist film festival.
128:21It's more like audience friendly stuff. And I saw a movie today this morning that I thought was going to stink to be honest.
128:28And we saw a trailer for it at CinemaCon, which is like where they tease movies coming out this year in Vegas in April.
128:35It's a movie called I Play Rocky. And it is about the story of Rocky.
128:40I sold a preview for this. Yes. It's about the making of Rocky.
128:44The movie. It's a narrative movie, like a normal movie about a guy who plays Sylvester Stallone trying to get the movie Rocky made.
128:51And he's doing the whole like Sylvester Stallone accent.
128:54And I was like, this is going to blow.
128:57I'm sorry. It is. I mean, he's doing it.
129:00Okay. Peter Farrelly directed it. DK, your guy. Oh, wow.
129:03Yeah. Yeah. It was great. One of the Farrelly brothers.
129:06Gangbusters. I think it's going to win the audience award at TIFF.
129:10Is it better than Rocky? It's not better than Rocky.
129:13Can you do that Stallone voice again? Sylvester Stallone.
129:16I don't know. And it's so deep. I've never met Eddie when he talks like that.
129:21Well, he is like a paralyzed side of his mouth.
129:24Oh, that makes more sense. Now I feel bad.
129:26You should. He's struggling, Sylvester Stallone. He's had a tough life.
129:30I'm just kidding. He's super famous and has a kajillion dollars.
129:33And it really worked out. You should watch the movie.
129:36You'll see. But the movie's great. It premiered last night.
129:39It played again today. And it was like standing ovation.
129:42Everybody loved it. The kid who plays Stallone is like amazing.
129:46It's really funny. It's like really heartwarming. I think everybody who watches it is going to love it.
129:51I thought the preview looked pretty good. It's funny that you thought it looked like Dog Show.
129:57Maybe I watched a different one. Well, I just thought it looked really cheesy.
130:01I was like, oh, this is like a real, like it's almost like a lifetime type thing.
130:06And it was not that at all. It was really well done.
130:10The script was awesome. It was really funny. All the actors were great.
130:14It's very good. Who else was in that? Someone else like relative.
130:18Was like Jason Lee in that or something like that?
130:21Jay Duplass is in it. Oh, okay. Maybe that's blanking on somebody.
130:25Hold on. I'm going to pull it up. Oh, Matt Dillon.
130:28Oh, yeah. Matt Dillon plays his dad, but he's a small role.
130:32He's really good. Interesting. But yeah, I recommend it.
130:34I think there's a chance it gets Oscar buzz.
130:37Okay. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Austin.
130:40Thank you, Nikhil. Thank you, Cam. Thank you everyone for listening.
130:44Email us at ringfantasyfootball.gmail.com. We got trivia questions. We want fantasy courts for power.
130:48Oh, God. I'm hiccuping. Power hour. It's late. Fantasy courts.
130:51And what was the other thing we asked for?
130:54The word for when you check the 59 bear, the bear scoring 59 points box score and you see that your player had zero catches.
131:02Thank you, Lord. Lord. Craig, do you want it or do you want me to take it?
131:07I'm always packing, so you just let me know.
131:10You can take it tonight. All right. Take me home tonight.
131:13Eddie Money, 1986. Oh, my God. Eddie Money. I think Eddie Money is the most Sadie's name.
131:18Eddie Money is the best. This was on my list.
131:21This was on my list. One of the top.
131:24I don't even know what to call it, but like there is a I want to say there is a moment in
131:31the video because there's there's some hard saxophoning in this song.
131:34Yeah, dude. Totally. So glad you said that. There's a moment in this in the video.
131:39I'm remembering this from like 30 years ago. So if I'm wrong, I made it up.
131:44But whatever. Where he plays air guitar on a saxophone.
131:47Like he has a saxophone. He starts like air guitaring it.
131:51That's awesome. And I'm like, there's nothing more 80s than that.
131:54This song, it has everything you want. It's got sax.
131:57It's got a breathy woman saying, be my little baby.
132:00It's got power chords. His name is Eddie Money.
132:03His name is Eddie Money. Eddie Money. Can I tell you guys something?
132:07I feel like I could have gone through the world named Eddie Money.
132:11I feel like I could be on the show named Eddie Money.
132:15I feel like Anthony DeBundo should change his name to Eddie Money.
132:19Yeah, we should just call Eddie Money. Tony Money?
132:21Tony Money? Yeah. Eddie Money. Is Eddie Money alive?
132:24Eddie Money? No, he's RIP. 2019. Did he die?
132:27Yeah. Pre-COVID is better. He shouldn't see what the world has become.
132:31He was 70. Oh, fuck. Okay, now I feel bad.
132:34Shit. Eddie Money, I wish you were still with us.
132:37Eddie Money is... This is a great one. It's my favorite.
132:40If I could have another name, I would do Eddie Money.
132:44I was listening to this in my hotel room alone, like in the morning after I shower.
132:49Getting ready. Getting ready. Listening to take me home tonight.
132:52Fucking pre-funk. Getting noise complaints on the road. Yeah.
132:55What do you guys call pre-funking again? You guys call it something different.
132:59Pre-gaming. Pre-gaming. Yeah, yeah. It's the oldest thing about you.
133:02I've never even heard that phrase. You call it pre-funking?
133:05Were you not here for this conversation? I'm sorry for saying something that my friends and I said back in the day.
133:12Apology accepted. We did this. But you're talking about like function, like going to the function pre-funk?
133:17Yeah. But remember that... Craig, you don't remember this conversation pre-funk?
133:21Pre-funking in our context was before the party, you like get drunk.
133:24Before we... And then you go to the party.
133:27Yeah. No, but we did this and it turned out to be a actual Seattle specific regional slang.
133:33Oh, that's right. Tied to a bar in Seattle.
133:35A specific bar in the 80s was like the origin of this term.
133:39Was the bar called the function? Or the funk?
133:42God, we just... Why does your shirt say cat?
133:45Oh, I believe it's short for Caterpillar, which is what Heifetz is going to turn into in our ringer league when he loses.
133:52How'd you do it? How'd you do today? I had Bryce Young and I fucking just...
133:57I'm going to beat Joe House. That's right. I need Jalen Waddell to just not lose to Quillen Sutton by lot.
134:03Dude, you having Bryce Young, who's like the QB3, is fucking unbelievable.
134:07It's actually good because now I don't feel bad about dropping one to two of my quarterbacks that I don't need.
134:14I lost to Sal by six and I feel horrible.
134:17As I said, I'll be fine. Bryce Young at 31.
134:20Thank God you guys took 26 quarterbacks ahead of me so Bryce Young could follow me.
134:25Look, it was funny, okay? I'm going to be in dead last again.
134:29I'm the lowest scoring team and I lost. So, I don't know.
134:33Are you serious? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, everybody fucking blew it.
134:36Drake may be like shit. My team might be a wagon.
134:40I took down the BS Express today. That's weird.
134:42James. Oh my God. Oh my God, Craig. I have Derek Henry.
134:46No big deal. Bangkok Craig needs some help. Bangkok Craig.
134:49Bench Jalen Coker. Can you explain to me why?
134:52For Luther Burden. Why are you Bangkok Craig again?
134:55Didn't they just think you would like Bangkok a lot?
134:58Because we did the... I'll tell you. We did the rewatchables on the movie American Gangster.
135:03Yeah, yeah. Which I've never seen. We watched that together, yeah.
135:06That's right. I was during Corwick. That's correct. And during the film, there are multiple scenes in Bangkok that look electric.
135:13And I was talking about that on the pod.
135:16And we kind of crafted an alter ego of Bangkok Craig that I'm really not embodying in my fantasy season, unfortunately.
135:22It hasn't quite worked out for you yet. I sat Jalen Coker, so we'll get there.
135:27That's tough. That's tough. Eddie Money. Eddie Money Goat.
135:30Take me home tonight. I don't want to let you go to see the light.
135:34He's just got the saxophone. He's just holding it above his head.
135:38Be my little baby. He's dancing like Mike Kosicki up there.
135:42He's grating. Yeah, seriously. I'm having to be quiet because it's 1.55 a.m.
135:46in a hotel room in Toronto on a Sunday, so I'm so far so good, though.
135:50Yeah. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18
135:57plus and present in D.C., Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem?
136:00Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland.
136:06Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.
136:13For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867.

More episodes from The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

6