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0:48Let Chaos reign September 18th on Paramount Plus. This is the The Ringer Fantasy Football Show.
0:53My name is Danny Heifetz. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck.
0:57And the New York Giants are undefeated! And other things from week one of the NFL season.
1:02Football is here! It's happening! And Danny Kelly, the Giants have never lost under John Harbaugh.
1:07It's never happened. I gotta say, masterful job with the reverse jinx.
1:11All that talk about Dak Prescott beating the Giants every single time.
1:14Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, expertly done by you.
1:17The Giants absolutely dominated this game. I can't wait to talk about how lackluster the Cowboys looked in this game.
1:23Well, we could go a couple ways with this.
1:26One, DK, do you think Heifetz has been reverse jinxing for months?
1:30Because I feel like in May and June, all of us collectively were like, if you have to pick who the 2025 Patriots of this year are.
1:38No, we were like, the Giants are gonna be great!
1:41We were like, Dart looked good, like, they're the defensive line, Neighbors is coming back, Dart.
1:46And then we kind of completely got off them because Harbaugh had an embarrassing speech where he seemed senile.
1:52Right. That whole thing. Yes. And the question I would ask to you, DK, is the classic question.
1:58Better win for the Giants or worse loss for the Cowboys?
2:01I think I have to. Oh my gosh, that's actually really hard because the Cowboys looked horrific today.
2:07I would say better win for the Giants, exercise the demons.
2:10I mean, there's just so many things to feel good about if you're the Giants right now.
2:15Like, Camp Scadwick looked great. Isaiah likely looks like an absolute game changer.
2:19Jackson Dart was totally efficient. The offensive play calling tandem of Greg Roman and Matt Nagy, like, absolutely picked apart the Cowboys.
2:26Because Harbaugh didn't make a really embarrassing speech, at least that I saw yet.
2:31Maybe that'll be coming later. But yeah, overall... That was the other Harbaugh who had an embarrassing presser today.
2:36Right. And then Neighbors looked great, too. So, like, just all good things for the Giants.
2:41I'd say it was a very good win for them, you know, exercising the demons and not being able to beat the Cowboys for a very long time.
2:50I think it was the biggest eight-point blowout I've ever seen in my life.
2:54Seriously, yeah. This game was never more than two scores apart.
2:58It was never more than 14 points apart. And yet, this game felt like it was 40-7 the way that the individual units looked on the field.
3:06I have never seen more open pass catchers in my life than when the Giants receivers and tight ends against Dallas.
3:13This is the best. We are filibustering Heifetz right now.
3:16Yeah, that's good. Let's just not let... He'll come in in the next segment.
3:20Don't let him talk. I almost, like, at the beginning of the game, I was, like, so heavy on the Giants, being, like, the Giants look unbelievable.
3:28And I still feel that way. And I'm, like, ready to say the Giants are going to make the playoffs because I think they look really, really good.
3:37I'll just pick them to win the NFC East.
3:40I don't give a fuck. But once Collinsworth was like, yeah, the Cowboys, they don't have a game plan for throwing it out to the flat.
3:48And then the next play, they threw it again out to the flat to Devin Singletary for a touchdown.
3:54I was like, oh, this might be the worst defense in the league.
3:58Yeah. Heifetz, I'm going to let you talk. Go.
4:01Go ahead. What do you think about those things?
4:03And now for a conveniently timed advertising break. God damn it.
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4:33Additional taxes, fees, and terms apply. We're back from the break.
4:36Heifetz, respond to all the things we just said.
4:39Drink your water, have a sip of water. He's like, hold on.
4:43Yeah. We've been winding you up like a Toy Story toy.
4:46Go ahead. We're back from the break. You know, just keep going.
4:50Just keep talking about how great the Giants are.
4:53I'm having a good time. Just keep going. I could keep going.
4:57You want me to keep going? No, not really.
4:59I want to start with this, DK. I have heard Danny Kelly bitch and moan for 10 years about how the Giants don't score touchdowns.
5:07And you know what, DK? Tonight they scored touchdowns.
5:10I want to start there. The Giants scored touchdowns.
5:13And this game was old school. There were fullbacks.
5:15There were long-ass drives. The third quarter had two drives.
5:19Dak Prescott threw a pick, and he basically got two drives over the next 36 minutes of game time.
5:24And it was really cool to see the Giants just take names and kick ass and watch Cam Scadaboo batter just the Cowboys defense over and over.
5:33And I can't really explain why the Cowboys couldn't guard Devin Singletary other than I assume they forgot he was on the team.
5:40I don't really have an explanation for that. Yeah, is there a little bit in the back of your head that's like,
5:47damn it, why did they have to look so inept, the Cowboys?
5:50I mean, why did they have to look so inept on defense and ruin my night?
5:55Because honestly, look, I've seen plenty of really bad defensive performances over the year.
6:00I can't remember seeing one where the strategy was so clearly just gone.
6:04There was no strategy in which they were trying to stop the Giants.
6:08The flat routes were open on every single play.
6:10I think it was like the drive for the Giants right before the half where it was like three or four straight
6:17plays where someone was just wide open. It was every drive.
6:21It was the whole game. It was like no one within 20 yards of the player.
6:26It was insane to me. I was like, what are they doing?
6:29It was like peak Ben Johnson on the Lions where you're like, there's no one near J.
6:35Minson Williams. It was so easy. And that's what it felt like.
6:38Hot knife through butter. So that was kind of wild to me.
6:42I was like, sorry, real quick. That was one of the lamest performances I've ever seen.
6:47The Cowboys were completely listless. No juice, no energy, no intensity.
6:50They just looked like they couldn't wait for the game to be over and get out of there, even though they were
6:57still within striking distance pretty much the whole game, as Craig said.
7:01I thought they were the flat. They looked so flat.
7:04It was completely frustrating. Ironically, they weren't flat at all.
7:07They couldn't find the flat. Oh, good. Yeah. This is from, we got a stat from, it's not next gen stats.
7:14It's next Gale stats from Austin Gale. And it was, this came in during the fourth quarter, I believe.
7:19So it could have changed. I doubt it got any better, but it was, this was the second worst EPA per drive
7:26performance for the Dallas defense since COVID. Yeah. It's pathetic.
7:29We were also only like six drives. Yeah. Yeah.
7:32Both things can be true. Yeah. Tariko said it at the end of the game.
7:37Dak got, touched the ball twice in the second half.
7:40Both drives were touchdowns. I think the Cowboys defensive coordinator, Christian Parker, who was very respected and was expected to turn this
7:47defense around, got put in the torture chamber by Greg Roman and Matt Nagy running the Giants offense.
7:52Who I've always been excited about. I've never, never said a bad word about them.
7:57They were fantastic. As Stephen Ruiz called them, the disgusting brothers.
8:00You know what? It was great. Are the Giants going to keep this up after the, anyone other than the Dallas defense?
8:07I have no idea, but it's just awesome. I said a lot this season, all I wanted from the Giants this season
8:14and what success is under John Harbaugh for 2026 is just to be competitive.
8:18And the Giants have literally been dead last over the last decade or second to last in points and yards and time spent winning games.
8:26And they were first in time spent losing games and their last in touchdowns and last in yards per game.
8:32Every stat, advanced, dumb, everything. They're literally the worst team in the NFL.
8:36And they've been eliminated from the playoffs. Nine of the last 10 Thanksgiving dinners I've had with my family.
8:42And all I wanted was the Giants to just be competitive.
8:45And them just coming out and just controlling the line of scrimmage in a Dallas Cowboys game.
8:51I think it's been 16 years since I saw the Giants.
8:54Probably 2011, 2012 was the last time I saw the Giants control the line of scrimmage wire to wire against the Dallas Cowboys.
9:01I mentioned to you Dak Prescott. Like, they hadn't really beaten him in a legitimate game in 10 years.
9:07But, like, the 10 years before that, the Cowboys had an awesome offensive line.
9:11And the combination of Abdul Carter was just flying around doing Micah Parsons shit against Dallas was awesome.
9:17Fuck them. Arvel Reese looks awesome, even if he just totally lost Javante Williams.
9:21Like, the Giants have a lot of cool, fun pieces.
9:24But the not—like, Malachi Fields looks awesome. He's a random fourth-round rookie receiver at a Notre Dame.
9:30He looks like Kirkland—he looks like poverty Tee Higgins.
9:32I couldn't be more excited about this team. I love that Jackson Dart gave the ball to Malik Nabors at the end of the game.
9:40I feel really weird that they peer pressured Malik Nabors and did a psyop to get him to play.
9:46But you know what? This was fucking awesome. Yeah.
9:49I got to go back and watch that John Harbaugh video again where he's saying the New York Giants thing because I
9:56feel like it'll fire me up now. That was cool.
9:59Now that tuxedos are cool. Yeah. Now I'm like, this guy is a peak motivator.
10:03S-tier motivator. Can we— I also want to say— Should the Giants get two wins for this game?
10:09Because they also beat the referees, who just insisted on making this game so much closer than it actually was because CeeDee
10:16Lamb was allowed to just two-hand shove Drew Phillips, the cornerback, in the end zone away for a touchdown.
10:22But Drew Phillips just lightly brushes CeeDee Lamb's jersey and gets flagged, and the Cowboys got a touchdown off that.
10:28That was honestly a 14-point swing on freaking— Just call it one way or the other.
10:33But you know what? It doesn't matter. They wanted this game to be close.
10:37There were some calls coming in there on those CeeDee Lamb PIs, I think.
10:41Can we talk about Cam Scadaboo for 60 seconds?
10:44I would talk about him for the— Till I die.
10:47I think, bar none, most fascinating player in the NFL to watch.
10:51Just truly one of the most fascinating human beings who's ever lived.
10:55You know how Bill, when Saquon first entered the league, was like, I've seen enough top five running back in the NFL,
11:01and everybody kind of got on him, and then he was kind of right?
11:06I'm not saying Cam Scadaboo was a top five running back in the NFL, but I think there is something about him
11:13that is better than his skill set suggests. Like, Chris Collinsworth was talking about it, how the Giants are like a different team when he's on the field.
11:21He is like one of the more impactful players, even though maybe like from a measurable skill set.
11:27There's just something about when he has the ball in his hands, I'm like, is it going to work?
11:33And there's very few running backs I feel that way about, but he's one of them.
11:38This is something, Craig, that I noticed, and this is pathetic.
11:41I'm going to reference high school basketball. When I played high school basketball, there were certain players, when they were on the
11:48court, the team just had way more energy and intensity and just played harder.
11:52I don't know what it is about certain... He's like Draymond, but running back.
11:57Sometimes you just, there's someone that's on the court or the field or whatever it is with you, and you're just like,
12:03oh, I'm going to fucking, like I'm going to go.
12:06I feel like Scadaboo absolutely has that. His top skill set is trying, and I just think he tries harder than anyone else on the field.
12:14Effort, and that's like the big thing. Honestly, it's a great point, and it's really important in this game in particular because,
12:21man, the Cowboys were just so fucking lackluster. I can't even begin to...
12:25The difference was incredible in terms of intensity on one side.
12:29For the Giants, they were just playing way harder, and then the Cowboys just didn't look like they gave a crap about anything.
12:36And so, yeah, that's a great point. Also, by the way, I know that I was anti-Scadaboo before the season.
12:42You guys got on me about that. You're mad about it.
12:45I saw him in a commercial where he was playing with his dogs.
12:49I'm fully back in on Scadaboo. Oh, yeah, for like the healthy dog food?
12:54Yeah. I was like, okay, I get it. I like Scadaboo now.
12:57Like, that was pretty sick. I'm sorry. You're right.
13:00I'm ugly. You're good-looking. There's a lot of good jokes.
13:03I'm ugly. You're smart. Ugly and smart. Those aren't opposites.
13:06But there was a great tweet that said, like, I think Cam Scadaboo was born with CTE, and every hit slowly reverses
13:13it, which I thought was really good. Giants are good, dude.
13:17How does it feel? We're dominating this conversation over Heifetz, which is wild.
13:21I don't think the Eagles are good. I don't think Dallas is good, and I don't think Washington's good, and I think the Giants are good.
13:29So I don't know what we want to do with that.
13:32Yeah. The Eagles have a great defense, but I don't think the offense, despite what they did today, I don't think the offense is that good.
13:40I think the Giants look really good, dude. They kind of look like the Ravens.
13:45I know that's a stupid comparison and an obvious one, but they kind of look like the Ravens.
13:50The way they're using dart, like, I don't know.
13:53Was it Patrick Ricard dominating, or was it Isaiah Likely scoring two touchdowns and getting his feet in the end zone both times?
14:00Well, in the running dart kind of old school, I feel like nowadays you kind of protect your star running quarterback in certain ways.
14:08I feel like dart's just, like, firing himself into the fucking line, and it's really fun to watch.
14:13And also, he was super accurate tonight. I mean, granted, Nine for 11 on third down.
14:18But he was calm. He felt very measured to me.
14:21Like, he seemed like a real pro out there.
14:24I was very impressed. I have literally never heard either of you speak this nicely about the Giants combined in the history of this show.
14:32I think that I don't think you guys have ever been this nice about anything the Giants have ever done.
14:38Whose team of our three, of our three favorite teams, which do we all support the most as a unit?
14:44The Seahawks, because DK's very lovable. Yeah, that's probably right.
14:47It's not Pittsburgh. It's not Pittsburgh. It's not the Giants, I'll tell you that.
14:52But don't you think we all root for the Giants, though?
14:55The Giants have never been an option. Yeah. In a pathetic way.
14:59In a pathetic way. But I don't think either of you root for the Steelers.
15:03No, definitely not. But you don't root for the Giants.
15:06Yeah, I want you to be happy. I have no issues with the Giants being good.
15:11Same with Seattle. I feel like you... No, they've been in the friend zone.
15:16They've never been, like... They've never been threatening at all.
15:19I don't hate that. No problem with the Giants.
15:22DK's right. They've been in the friend zone, and now you guys are looking at them like, damn, they're hot!
15:28Wait a minute. They had a glow up here.
15:31Yeah. I gotta start worrying about this. What's funny is the Giants play the Rams next week, which is like the ultimate test of vibes.
15:38Oh my God. Where the Rams are coming in as like the juggernaut that Star has already died, and now the Giants are whatever the Giants are now.
15:47Miles Garrett's hurt. So it's a very fascinating situation here, where it's like, do you take the sober pill and take the
15:54Rams, or are you gonna ride the wave and take the Giants?
15:57Craig, I was gonna say this. You know the Freaky Friday thing?
16:01I think the coasts have been switched all of a sudden.
16:05The LA teams had an absolutely disastrous week. And New York's 2-0.
16:08And the two New York teams went off. The Giants suggested 2-0 for the first time since 2009.
16:14There's something weird happening. Maybe the poles flipped or something.
16:17Well, it's like humid in LA now. No one knows what to do.
16:21It's like 70% humidity. Yeah. Yeah. Craig told, when we were down there in LA like two weeks ago, Craig told us
16:28that it was the most humid it's ever been in LA ever.
16:31That's correct. The history of Los Angeles weather charting.
16:34It was the most humid it has ever been.
16:37Great. It was the most humid city in America when you guys were there.
16:41Like, what the fuck? Something's going on. Yeah. I'm in DC.
16:45It doesn't faze me. Yeah, this is cool. It's cool to see the Giants 1-0.
16:49So, you guys want to get to the rest of the games?
16:53Yeah. I'm excited, man. This is our first Sunday recap.
16:56We're fully back. It's midnight in Toronto. I'm doing the Heifetz time zone today.
17:01This is great. This sounds like a Drake song, midnight in Toronto.
17:04Yeah, you guys are extra loopy today because you're both East Coast.
17:08Yeah. I'm living in paradise over here on the West Side.
17:11So, it's 8.50. Fuck yourself. You could never be out here like us.
17:15Okay? Probably not. All right, DK, you're a winner.
17:18I get it. Give us – DK, who's your first winner of Sunday week one?
17:23I'm going to go with Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills for absolutely taking Hatchet.
17:27He's on the Bills? Okay. Yes, on the Buffalo Bills.
17:31Don't get him to stop saying teams. We just fucking taught him to say the name of the team with the player.
17:37Finally. Finally, he did it. It took six years to get him to do that.
17:42Do you think there's a little bit of a shot to credibility to have to say Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills?
17:49Yes. I wish he wouldn't do it with that one.
17:52But when he's just like, Rashad White. I'm like, say Washington, please.
17:56Josh Allen of the Buffalo Williams. Steph Curry of the Golden State Warriors had a good game today.
18:01We're doing the draft. He gets naming safeties in the fourth round.
18:05It just won't say like what college they went to or what team they were drafted by.
18:10I'll never do it again. All right, Craig. Geez.
18:13Sorry. The Bills won 36 to 31. They've won 36 to one.
18:17Hyphens. How do you like that? I said the score too.
18:20The Texans came in with like a sterling reputation.
18:23One of the greatest defenses we've ever seen in the last like whatever five years.
18:27I love this. Josh Allen absolutely just picked him apart.
18:31It was absolutely crazy in Houston. And I just thought it was extremely impressive.
18:35I do know and I do recognize that he almost threw the game losing pick and that we shouldn't totally lose track of that.
18:42But the next play, he went right back at Kamari Lasseter, hit the game winning touchdown, what was eventually the game winning touchdown.
18:49And he had an incredible game over 300 passing yards.
18:52The first time that happened since 2024 against a Houston defense.
18:56Four total touchdowns, two passing, two rushing. He had another Lieutenant Ronald Spears run through the Nazi lines.
19:01America. Pretty much every lieutenant for the United States of America.
19:05You got to save the team. Yeah, he was.
19:08Lieutenant Ronald Spears was playing for America. The Allies.
19:10Back in the Normandy invasion. Yeah. Anyways, he had a great game.
19:14And the Bills offense looked awesome. I thought Josh Allen looked really happy, genuinely, to have a number one wide receiver.
19:21DJ Moore had 100 yards and a touchdown. And after that weird kind of fluky like 40 yard touchdown on the sideline
19:27where the defender kind of flew past DJ Moore, he kind of tiptoed as he caught it.
19:33And then he had an open lane to the end zone.
19:36Josh Allen was just smiling. Like it looked like.
19:39Just hooping. Just having fun out there. He was like, finally, I feel like I have a weapon that is somewhat suitable to my skill set.
19:47Dalton Kincaid also looked awesome. Had like 130 yards and a touchdown.
19:51The offense felt much more well-rounded with Shakir and with Moore and Kincaid.
19:55I will never tell somebody not to draft Josh Allen as early as you want.
19:59And it never fails. Yeah. Jackie. 40 points today.
20:02Yeah. My wife all year, all offseason, in the run-up to fantasy drafts was like, I want a good quarterback.
20:08Every year you tell me to win a quarterback and I regret it.
20:12So I'm not going to do that. And she took Josh Allen.
20:16And she had a great day. She was just like.
20:19Just loving life. Yeah. But Josh Allen, I mean, this is an incredible stat I saw from this guy.
20:25It's not NFL research. It's a person whose handles NFL researcher, which isn't quite as legit, but it is correct.
20:31Since Josh Allen was drafted, the only player with more rushing touchdowns than Josh Allen is Derrick Henry.
20:37Wild. He had two more today, I think. Right?
20:39Yeah. What'd you say? Yeah. He had two rushing touchdowns today.
20:43I thought this game, I mean, it's funny because you're right to point out, DK, that Josh gets all the flowers and
20:50the Texans get, like, the defense is going to get knocked.
20:53But Josh Allen did throw the game-losing pick and the Texans dropped it.
20:57And then the Texans just completely dropped the ball and crashed out from that moment on.
21:02That's football. Yeah. Also, look, I would like to point out that I thought the Texans looked pretty good.
21:08And if I were a Texans fan, I'd be okay with this.
21:12Okay? Josh Allen scored 36 points on you. It is what it is.
21:16I was like, I thought Stroud looked pretty good.
21:18I thought they were able to move the ball on the ground.
21:22David Montgomery had three touchdowns. Nico Collins looked great.
21:25Keyshawn Booty made a big play. I'm like, the offensive line I thought was better until that last drive.
21:31I thought the Texans' offense looked serviceable today. And I think they could go deep in the playoffs.
21:36I agree. I will say the Bills, the two touchdowns the Bills had were, fluke is the wrong word, but they were just Josh Allen-y.
21:44There were things that don't happen to, like, 29 or 30 other teams.
21:48Maybe it's Josh, Lamar, one other person, like Jackson Dart, obviously.
21:52But it was the touchdown that Josh Allen had, the first rushing touchdown, was, like, perfect coverage.
21:57And they were just kind of playing man coverage in the red zone, and no one was on Josh Allen.
22:03And then, like, he just kind of was like, oh.
22:06And he just ran, and it was kind of weird.
22:09The Texans didn't have a plan for man coverage for Josh Allen where everyone's back is turned.
22:14And the other one was that throw to DJ Moore where Reed Blankenship kind of came over.
22:20He was the safety, and he was trying to intercept the pass.
22:23And a quarter of a second late feels too big.
22:26Like, Reed Blankenship was, like, an eighth of a second late to intercepting this pass.
22:31That was a wild play. So DJ Moore catches it, and it was, like, the closest you could possibly be to intercepting a pass without disrupting the pass.
22:40So DJ Moore then gets this rundown and score a 30-yard touchdown.
22:43If that wasn't Josh Allen throwing the ball, it probably would have been, like, a tick later and just been intercepted.
22:50And so, like, that's, like, two 14-point swings right there, just those two plays where the Texas defense wasn't even playing poorly.
22:57But Josh played well, but I think CJ Stroud played worse at the end than Josh Allen played good.
23:03I know. I was going to say, like, I agree with Craig.
23:06Very encouraging overall from the offense. Like, they could run the ball.
23:10I think Craig texted during the day, the Texans can run.
23:13Like, it's, like, this crazy idea. It's like, uh-oh, Happy learned how to putt.
23:18I'm like, all right. I feel much better about the Texans offensively.
23:22Yeah. But at the end of the day, you know, Stroud kind of did what he did.
23:27He did the thing you're afraid he was going to do, which is completely kind of meltdown when it really mattered.
23:33And that's what he kind of did. I mean, he's a bad couple of plays.
23:38I don't know if it was a meltdown. He got stripped in the pocket.
23:42Well, yes. I guess meltdown is probably strong, but he crumbled when it was, like, important.
23:47He fucking crumbled when it was important. That's football, though, I guess.
23:51He took him down to, like, a 15-yard line.
23:54But, yeah. He did. But the announcer, it's funny.
23:56If you play the clip, the announcer is literally like, you got to go out of bounds or end zone.
24:03You got no timeouts. Out of bounds or end zone.
24:06Out of bounds or end zone. And then he just gets sacked and fumbles the ball away on third down and goal with the game on the line.
24:14And the funniest part is there's six blockers for three goddamn pass rushers.
24:18The Bills rushed four, and one of them dropped as a spy.
24:22It was three pass rushers for six blockers. And CJ Stroud took a sack.
24:26And that's on everyone. Like, it is so embarrassing that the line couldn't protect him.
24:31But he also not being able to navigate it in that situation with so much on the line.
24:37It just, again, you've had eight months to think about this.
24:40Like, he fumbled five times in a goddamn playoff game, and they won despite you.
24:45And then you somehow, like, you played even worse against New England.
24:48Like, we kept joking, but we're half serious that if the Texans had just punted every time, instead of having CJ Stroud
24:55throw in the playoffs, the Texans might have beaten the Patriots in the playoffs.
25:00And then eight months in, you can't just melt again at the end of the thing.
25:04It's like, you are the thing between the Texans and the Super Bowl.
25:09I thought it was very disheartening. Oh, funny. My takeaway is I'm encouraged by the Texans' offense.
25:14I'm encouraged. I think the defense will be fine.
25:17I need to see CJ Stroud not melt in those moments.
25:20It would be really nice. I agree that it's like they lost to the Bills.
25:25They played a good game. They probably should have beaten them.
25:28I'm not, like, worried about the Texans, but I'm worried about the Texans being the best team in the NFL.
25:34Does that make sense? Yeah, that's fair. We have a high bar for them because we think they're capable of, like, actually
25:41maybe winning the Super Bowl if they don't. What was the only thing we said about the Texans all offseason?
25:47It was like, if CJ Stroud gets his shit together, they can win the Super Bowl.
25:52And he immediately just did the thing everyone was worried about.
25:56He's like the new Sam Darnold. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually eerily similar to what Darnold, how Darnold started last season, who, you
26:02know, they were driving against the 49ers week one and he got stripped and lost the ball.
26:08And then the Seahawks lost the 49ers. They went on to win the Super Bowl.
26:12So maybe that's what will happen with the Texans.
26:15We'll see. And I will say before we keep going, I do want to just note about this week overall.
26:21I meant to say this at the beginning, but I was overwhelmed by how much you guys like the Giants.
26:27This was a weird week one. Week one has for years been sloppy on offense.
26:32The unders always hit the teams with the points like generally win.
26:36And it's like they're all weird. And we kind of hop on the show for the first couple of weeks and we're like, hey, it's the preseason.
26:44None of the timing, the rhythm and the quarterbacking is that good.
26:48Nothing's that crisp. The blocking. No one's been hitting.
26:51No one's playing the preseason. It just looks bad for a couple of weeks.
26:55And this week happens. And this that was incredible.
26:58This was before Sunday Night Football, but I think it's pretty basically still true.
27:02This is from Josh Dubow at the AP. Teams have combined to score an average of 50 points per games through week one.
27:09That would be the highest average scoring week one since 1962, which I think is including like the AFL.
27:15So like basically it's the Super Bowl era period, the highest scoring week one ever, which is kind of shocking because none
27:22of these guys even played in the preseason really.
27:25So it was an incredibly high scoring week overall.
27:27It did feel like there was a lot of ginormous fantasy performances this week, like that I don't usually like think about with week one.
27:35The fact that there was like receivers and running backs just going nuts.
27:39Usually, like you said, it's like these really messy games with penalties.
27:43I did think there was like a lot of fumbling and stuff this week, but it was bizarre.
27:48I mean, it's mostly because the bills. I mean, the Bears just dragging the average up because they scored 59 goddamn points.
27:55But yeah, I totally agree. This felt like a big 12 week.
27:59So speaking of which, Craig, who is your biggest loser for this week?
28:03I think it's got to be the Chargers. Easily.
28:06My goodness, dude. Like, are we ready to do a mea culpa?
28:09We can get into that. But like, first of all, so they lost 26 to 14 to the Cardinals.
28:15Do I need to do a mea culpa for being on the Chargers or against the Cardinals?
28:21Because this is like a good two for one opportunity for me.
28:24That's very true. I would say much more that we were into the Chargers.
28:29Dude, they lost 26 to 14. Game never felt in reach, to be honest.
28:33Like, the Cardinals march down score. They go up 7-0.
28:36The Chargers respond. They march right down the field.
28:39They throw like three straight, like back-to-back-to-back 20-yard passes to Ladd McConkie.
28:43So he had like 60 yards in one drive.
28:45And then O'Marion Hampton runs in a touchdown and looks like a cyborg.
28:49And I was like, holy shit, it's 7-7. Chargers are going to win by 30.
28:54They scored seven points for the rest of the three and a half quarters in the game.
28:59They were out gained by the Cardinals by 100 yards.
29:02They couldn't move the ball. The offensive line was completely inept.
29:06They were rotating guards. Harbaugh kind of had no answer for that in the press conference.
29:11It was the quietest stadium I think I've ever heard.
29:14The fans either weren't, I don't think there were many fans in or begin with, but the ones who were there were dead silent.
29:21It was like COVID. It was the quietest one since COVID.
29:25Dude, Ladd got hurt. Lambert Smith got hurt. Davis got hurt.
29:28The whole team was completely discombobulated. Herbert didn't look good.
29:31The offensive line looked like a mess. I was just, it looked like the offensive.
29:36There was one play late in the second half where two Cardinals rushers just like went right through the line.
29:42No one blocked him and just smashed Herbert. I was like, this is just great.
29:47This is going so well. You know what it kind of reminded me of watching the Cardinals offense versus the Chargers was
29:53the Chargers were doing, trying to do a lot.
29:56It seemed like all of their motions and all that stuff was like just out of rhythm.
30:01You could just tell it wasn't quite right. They didn't quite have it down yet.
30:06And then Jacoby Brissett was just dropping back and fucking ripping passes.
30:10Yeah. And it's like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where it's the gun versus the sword.
30:16And I feel like the Chargers were swinging the sword around and then Jacoby Brissett's like, I'm just going to fucking throw
30:22a missile to Trey McBride every single time. And it worked.
30:26And the Chargers looked terrible and I don't know what to do.
30:30It's not even that the Chargers lost to the Cardinals.
30:33It looked horrible. They got their ass beat and they were out scheme.
30:37I completely agree. Outgunned, outmanned, outschemed. They, it was the rare, like the Chargers were completely outplanned, which I think is embarrassing,
30:43not only for Mike McDaniel, but also for Jim Harbaugh.
30:47And they were completely out physical, which is also really concerning.
30:50Like the Chargers, like they got the defense again, losing Jesse.
30:53I think I thought too much about Jesse Minter running the Ravens and not enough about Jesse Minter leaving the Chargers defense.
31:00And I, the Chargers were neutered in a pass rush.
31:03They have no, they have no physicality on the, on the defensive line whatsoever.
31:08But then Herbert, I, I kind of spiritually did the like backing away from the person in the middle of this, if
31:14I'm being totally honest, like every quarter that went by, I feel like I had mentally taken two steps further away from everything I've said about Justin Herbert.
31:23Like, I just was like, what the, I don't know.
31:26I thought this was, they were inexplicably unprepared for this game.
31:29What if we had to do like a, like a Chargers excuses power ranking?
31:34How would we do that? What would you say is number one?
31:38The guards are terrible and we're underrating how, how important that is.
31:41Oh yeah. You got to start with week one.
31:44Doesn't matter. The Patriots beat the Patriots loss to the Raiders week one last year.
31:49Week one doesn't matter. I think it's got to be like, the offense is so complicated.
31:54It's going to take time. Right. They're just working out the kinks.
31:57Marinating. It's a complicated offense. New offensive coordinator. They're just getting, they're just getting on the same page.
32:03They didn't play that much in the preseason. They actually looked pretty good until Ladd went down.
32:08Yeah. Trevor Sykema had the good stat. Ladd McConkie went out.
32:12Chargers fill up. The Chargers yards per pass got cut in half.
32:15More than half actually once Ladd went out. Yeah.
32:18So you're just playing around Ladd who, who never gets hurt.
32:21You know, that's, that's a good plan. Dude. If you look at the Chargers schedule now.
32:26So next week they play the Raiders, which is now not looking like an easy game.
32:31Then after the Raiders in week two, they play at Buffalo, at Seattle, home versus Denver, at Kansas city, the Rams, and then home versus Houston.
32:39And then at Baltimore, those are in order. There's, there's no jets in the middle of that.
32:45Oh. Oh. This is looks dark. Very quick. So Buffalo, who was a Brandon cooks catch for making the AFC championship game, Seattle won the super bowl.
32:53Broncos should have made the super bowl. Kansas city made seven straight AFC championship games.
32:58The Rams are the super bowl favorites. The Texans have the best defense in the AFC.
33:03And then the Ravens had weak that. So are you not?
33:06That's fucking great. That already was bad before the season.
33:09Now that they lost to the Cardinals, it's disgusting.
33:12Here's my question. Okay. You don't get an opportunity.
33:15You're not going to get an opportunity to reverse this later.
33:18I need you to just answer it right now.
33:21Okay. You have an opportunity to just say, this is our opportunity.
33:25This is our chance to buy low and say that it was just a week one aberration.
33:30Or are we just jumping off ship and staying off?
33:33Like we can't get back on for the rest of the season.
33:37Are you ready to jump off? No. I think you got to say, I'm Irish.
33:41I'll do this forever. I'll never die. Remember the Patriots lost to the Raiders in week one last year.
33:47Exactly. I know they had an extremely easy skill.
33:50No, but. Unlike the Chargers do. But, you know.
33:53So the opposite. The week one thing is really important to keep in mind.
33:57Yeah. I'm terrified. I really feel like the Chargers thing is this like rake that I just stepped on every year for the 20th anniversary of the Chargers.
34:06I don't know. Okay. I can't believe. I'm on the edge.
34:09I'm not ready to jump off. So I don't blame you.
34:12So I can't believe the Chargers. So the Solek had the stat that I think nails it.
34:18The Chargers averaged a third and 12 today. Their average third down was third and 12, which would have tied for the
34:25worst number any game, any season, any game of last season.
34:28Third and 12 on average. And it's like, well, you've no interior line.
34:32I think I'm ready to be like, I'm sorry for talking about the Chargers this offseason.
34:37Please forgive me someday. I know that it's going to take a while.
34:41You're probably really angry at me. I'm out. I'm not going to associate myself with this team.
34:46You know, you know, when J. Cole. So the Kendrick Drake Lamar, the Kendrick Lamar Drake beef.
34:51It was originally Kendrick versus Drake and J. Cole.
34:54And J. Cole just got a phone call. It was like, someone's like, you should leave.
34:59You should quit. And J. Cole made one verse against Kendrick.
35:03And he just like put an Instagram up. It was like, I am retiring from this beef.
35:08I'm out. I'm out. I'm doing that. They're like, two days.
35:11I think I'm out. And that's the TKC. It's probably smart.
35:15With that schedule in particular, like if they had an easier schedule, I'd probably be like, hold strong.
35:20We're going to do this. Damn the torpedoes. You know, like whatever.
35:24I'm pretty much like, I give up. I'm waving the white flag.
35:28It's like the people who move in the horror movie who move into the house and the house is doing weird things and they decided to stay.
35:36It's like. People told you it was haunted. It's like the Chargers playing Widow's Bay.
35:41Like, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
35:43It's just never going to work. It's not haunted.
35:46And then you get there, you're like, fuck. I don't believe in curses, but there's something happening here.
35:52I ignored the schedule thing. All pro tackles are back.
35:55And it's like, yeah, but now the guards suck.
35:58I'm like, what the fuck? And beyond, I just, the schedule thing was there the whole off season and Beattish went down
36:04and I was kind of like, yeah. And they drafted one, whatever.
36:08It's, they suck. I got, I need them to be good next week.
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37:29This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off.
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37:50Visit ADT.com to learn more. My winner, speaking of the Chargers, who are the Baltimore Ravens, I think are a huge winner.
37:57Jesse Minter left the Chargers defensive coordinator position to be the Ravens head coach.
38:01I already think it looks incredible. The Ravens beat the Colts 41-23.
38:05Derek Henry had an incredible game. The Ravens had a good win.
38:09Zay Flowers looked good. I think the headline, though, has to be Lamar Jackson is back.
38:14Like, MVP Lamar is back. Lamar has juice again.
38:16And he looks faster. Lamar looks more decisive. And crucially, Lamar has his defining trait back, which is he looks untackleable.
38:23He's twitchy. He cannot be touched in the pocket.
38:26He looks like Barry Sanders is playing quarterback again.
38:29And he had that third and 18. And he dropped back.
38:32And no one's open. And he stepped up in the pocket.
38:35And no one's open. And then he just ran for 18 yards.
38:39And it looks so easy. And I'm like, most quarterbacks live and die and never scramble for 18 yards at third and 18.
38:46And he made it look so easy. And he just had so many plays like that.
38:51Throws, runs, everything. And I just feel like it's been a minute since I saw him feel like back to the peak of his powers.
38:59And I feel like it was pretty apparent right from the very first offensive play they took.
39:04I think it was a play action rollout. And he hit Zay Flowers for 49 yards.
39:09I was like, oh, God, this is going to work.
39:12Zay Flowers at 150 yards in like half. Yeah, by half, he had a career high in yards.
39:18And he'd scored a touchdown, which he never does.
39:20So we're like, this is a whole new thing.
39:23And then, of course, Zay Flowers got hurt. Also, Jacoby Lane got hurt.
39:27So they're kind of hurting at receiver right now.
39:30But I don't know if it will matter because they're just so good with what the way that Chargers and Ravens combined are down five receivers.
39:38Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, but the way that this offense is run, like Derrick Henry looked like a horse again.
39:44Lamar looked great. They were getting guys open. And this Declan Doyle guy, I don't know, man.
39:50That was a pretty fucking impressive first performance. The third youngest offensive coordinator ever.
39:54Sorry, the fourth youngest offensive coordinator ever, Declan Doyle.
39:57Just everything was working for them. And the way that they were sequencing plays together, the things that they were focusing on,
40:03it just felt like it really was really working.
40:06And obviously, Zay Flowers looked awesome until he got hurt.
40:09But yeah. So the Declan Doyle thing, he's the first of the Ben Johnson coaching tree.
40:14Yeah. So it's the Ben Johnson coaching tree today.
40:17Declan Doyle and Ben Johnson today. They combined for 100 points.
40:20Pretty good. Derek Henry, 24 carries, 144 yards, three touchdowns.
40:24Number one running back this week, Derek Henry. Passed Marcus Allen for the third most touchdowns of all time.
40:29Rushing touchdowns. Derek Henry is now only behind Emmitt Smith and LaDainian Tomlinson for rushing touchdowns.
40:34He also, this is a random stat, but he passed Jim Brown for the most games in NFL history where he had
40:41100 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns. Which I know some of the stats are weird.
40:46The difference in the era. I mean, teams were just run.
40:50Like, that was the most important thing by far in those days.
40:53I mean, this is very much a passing league now.
40:56The fact that he's, you know, even getting close to Jim Brown numbers on stuff is crazy.
41:02I could talk about Derek Henry for a long time, but he has nine touchdowns in his last four games.
41:08I feel like he's also is, like, returning to where his peak was, like, four years ago.
41:13He looks even better than he did two years ago when he almost had 2,000 rushing yards.
41:18So, the Ravens just look incredible. I'm glad we didn't really, like, bail on them this offseason because I really do feel
41:25like Lamar just had a hamstring injury. Like, I really just feel like Lamar was just hurt and played through it and
41:32tried his best and it wasn't working out. And the coaching staff was a little stale.
41:37And I think that was it. So, Declan Doyle is obviously great.
41:41But, like, I never once really considered if Lamar wasn't good anymore or Derek Henry, like, wasn't good.
41:46No. And so, I think the Ravens, again, I thought they would make the Super Bowl.
41:51And I felt less crazy today. So, Lamar. But Lamar's back.
41:54I really think that's the headline. I think Lamar is fully in the running for MVP, all those things.
42:00But I will say, Declan Doyle, we have to pay respects to, you know, the tree.
42:05It's just two people. But Ben Johnson and the Bears.
42:08It's begun. We have a new category here. The first branch has sprouted.
42:12Can you explain this new category we're going to do here?
42:16We're calling it problem of the day. Yeah. Who is the biggest problem of the day?
42:21It's very modern coded. You know, last year, last two years, it was the Oppenheimer Award.
42:26But that movie's old now. Christopher Nolan's already had a different movie come out.
42:30And so, this category is basically like the fantasy winner of the day, a.k.a.
42:34Who was a fucking problem out there? This guy's going to be a problem.
42:39Yeah. This is the guy who, in the edit on TikTok, is like, Malik Nabors was a problem in 2024.
42:45And it's just him dicing people up running slants.
42:48That's what this category is. My problem of the day was the Bears.
42:52The whole Bears. Caleb Williams in particular. I think it has to be Caleb Williams.
42:56Only a couple Bears, weirdly. Well, that's the end.
42:59Caleb Williams is a problem. Some other Bears are problems.
43:02But the Bears won 59-37. 59 points. First of all, it's the third most points the Bears have ever scored.
43:08It's the most the Bears have scored since 1980.
43:11And it's the first of all. The Bears needed four weeks to score 459 points last year.
43:16Like, the Bears have been like every other year scoring 59 points in all of September for like the last 25 years.
43:23Like, they go an entire month without scoring 60 points.
43:26It's really the most the Bears have ever scored.
43:29Because I believe it's the most they've ever scored without a return touchdown.
43:33So, it's like the most the offense has ever put up.
43:37They won the 1940 NFL Championship 70-0. I'll have you know.
43:40But were there return touchdowns in those games? Who knows?
43:43They had weird touchdowns back then, Craig. Who knows?
43:46Well, I'm just saying. Probably some hunter. I've discovered a stat that said this was their best offensive performance ever.
43:52It probably was. If you don't count return touchdowns.
43:55I think the real question I have for you guys.
43:58So, this was the most points any team scored in week one since the Ravens in 2019.
44:03And that was like the year Lamar was like Lamar and the Ravens were just like.
44:08Lamar won the unanimous MVP. How many points did they put up in that game?
44:13They put up 60? The Ravens won 59-0 against the Dolphins.
44:16Oh, they tied it. Yeah, they tied the number.
44:19But I think that that's important because that is like the year the Ravens were the Ravens.
44:24Lamar was the unanimous MVP. The Ravens went like 14-2.
44:27And it was like the arrival. And Ben Johnson has been saying, I want to set the scoring record.
44:33I don't want to just go undefeated. I want to set the scoring record.
44:37And I kind of thought he was just talking out of his ass.
44:41And I'm realizing now. It's kind of a wild thing to say.
44:45It's a wild thing to say. And I'm realizing now I think it's very intentional.
44:50I think Ben Johnson is trying to do the offense wins championships thing.
44:54Because it's like he keeps comparing to the Broncos in 2013.
44:57Well, they made the Super Bowl. And they got waxed by the Seahawks.
45:01But like the Bears defense sucks. I actually think Ben Johnson actually believes.
45:05And after this game, it's like a reality. Like the Bears think they're that good.
45:10I know it was the Panthers. But they're actually going to try and run up the score on all these goddamn teams.
45:17Yeah, Ben Johnson kind of speaks like a college coach.
45:20That like motivating press conference-y quote is very – you don't see a lot of NFL coaches really speak like that.
45:26Like Ben Johnson saying, I want to lead the league in points.
45:30We're going to run up the score. Like that's a very college way of speaking.
45:35I made fun of it a lot writing for The Ringer by that 2019.
45:39John Harbaugh kept comparing the Ravens offense to the iPhone, the invention of the iPhone.
45:44And I was like, that's the worst possible comparison you could make.
45:47And then they came out and scored 59 points in week one.
45:51This must have been so fucking satisfying for Bears fans to watch this.
45:55291 yards on the ground. They averaged 7.5 yards per carry on 39 carries.
45:59Dude. Who does that sound like? That sounds like the – 39 carries.
46:03Doesn't that sound like the Lions? That's like Jameer Gibbs-Dave Montgomery where it's like they just can't stop scoring rushing touchdowns.
46:10There's something primal. I know that passing is like sexy and fun and it's like more explosive and exciting or whatever.
46:16But there's something primal about fucking running for almost 300 yards and scoring 59 points by doing that.
46:22Like Caleb had a great game. He – and you know, he was very efficient with the ball.
46:2821 on 29, 269 yards and two touchdowns. So he was super efficient as a passer.
46:32He also ran for 65 yards. Yeah. 18 points on running.
46:36His running and just overall the team's running. Like Kyle Mononga had like a 70-yard run for a touchdown.
46:42DeAndre Swift looks awesome. He just got assigned to an extension.
46:45He looks like he has turned over a new leaf.
46:48He's just so much more decisive, I feel like.
46:51I don't know. It just – I just think this type of way of winning is so fun to watch when you can just run.
46:59And like they cannot stop you. To that point, DK.
47:02That's the coolest thing. To that point, of the last seven NFL games with 250 rushing yards by a team, the Bears have four of the last seven.
47:11Like they are the team that runs on people now.
47:14And I want to know Caleb and then come back to Ben Johnson.
47:18Caleb Williams played so well today. You read those stats, DK.
47:21You counted for four touchdowns. I used to be tepid saying this.
47:25I'm not – I don't care if I repeat myself.
47:28Caleb Williams is Aaron Rodgers. Like it is unbelievable how much his game has – In all ways.
47:33In all ways. He thinks there's a civilization under Antarctica.
47:37He's convincing his receivers of it. But Caleb Williams had some throws in this game.
47:41The touchdown to Cole Komet where he rolled right and then dropped it in a bucket like 40 yards downfield into the end zone was unbelievable.
47:49He had this one throw where he rolled left and then like honestly looked like a shortstop throwing to first base.
47:56Like he just like flipped his hips and jumped and just threw a dot to Khalif Raymond.
48:01And I think he hit Khalif Raymond so hard that he freaking broke his ribs or something.
48:06I don't know. But the amount of throws in this game that Caleb Williams looked on – like the scrambles.
48:12He hit a dig route to Luther Burden on second and 10 that set him up at the 30.
48:18And then that was just like such an effortless dart.
48:21And then the next play he scrambles 30 yards and kind of gallops untouched into the end zone.
48:27And the list of people who can do those things at the same – like those back-to-back plays of like the arm
48:34strength to sit in the pocket and hit a dig and then scramble.
48:38The weight – it's Josh, it's Lamar, and like I guess Mahomes.
48:41And that's kind of the list. I don't know.
48:44I can't say enough about that. He's kind of Mahomesian in the way that he moves.
48:49Have you guys noticed this? Like he's got a very herky-jerky body style.
48:53Like the way that he runs. He's very helter-skelter.
48:56Limbs are all over the place. He's like holding the ball like a coconut like running around.
49:01He's just very kind of awkward, but he also has just this elasticity with his arm.
49:06Heifetz is talking about the play where he's like rolling out to his left and then threw across his body, just laser pass down the field.
49:14He has like a very – his biomechanics are kind of Mahomesian, the way that he can like bend his body and get throws off and stuff.
49:23Caleb has the Patrick Mahomes – how fast is he?
49:26I don't know. He's just faster than whoever's chasing him.
49:29Dude, he went 20 miles an hour twice in this game.
49:32Oh, really? He's as fast as he needs to be.
49:35Yeah. But I think he's the best thrower across his body right now.
49:39Like the way – I think he can turn himself around and square his hips up better than anyone.
49:45Like you said, DK, elastic is a great word for it.
49:49He's like Mrs. Incredible. He can like just bend his body in weird ways.
49:53It's unbelievable. And the Bears were – again, but then random people like – I just – I don't know.
49:59I just – the Bears were unbelievable. You can't say enough about it.
50:03On a scale of 1 to 10, though, how – How worried are you about this defense?
50:08Because Bryce Young fucking picked them apart. Jalen Coker came out and had like a bajillion – what was Jalen Coker's final line in this game?
50:16He had like 130 yards. Yeah. Jalen Coker looked like Terrell Owens today.
50:20So, yeah. No, I'm worried about – I think the Bears are the Bengals or Cowboys now.
50:26Except the Cowboys aren't the Cowboys. So, I think the Bears are the new shootout team.
50:31Everyone they play is going to look like that.
50:33Caleb is the QB1, 37 points. DeAndre Swift is the number two running back, 32 points.
50:38Yeah. I think Coker might have been the number one receiver too.
50:42He was up there. DK, who is your problem?
50:45Your problem. Got to be a problem. Trevor Lawrence.
50:48I mean, one of the most efficient games I've ever seen.
50:51He was an absolute problem out there, you guys.
50:54Do you want me to go continue or do you want to weigh in?
50:58I want to hear you say problem again. Trevor Lawrence is going to be a problem.
51:03I'm starting to – I know that this was the Browns.
51:06They beat the Browns, by the way. This game was over so fast.
51:11The Browns, they were up 31-0. I can't believe we didn't take the Jags at Ringer 107.
51:16I don't know what I was thinking. I'll take the – I went to a movie today at TIFF and I missed
51:23the first like 20 minutes of the day. And I got in and it was like 14-0 Jags and Parker Washington had 70 yards at a touchdown.
51:31I was like, holy shit. I'm starting to think Liam Cohen might be like on that level of the Ben Johnsons, the
51:38McVeys, the Shanahan's of the world, all these really smart offensive coordinators slash play callers who just know how to get guys
51:45open and can do it kind of just very consistently.
51:48I think Lawrence in this game, the words I wrote down, methodical, diabolical, surgical.
51:52It was one of the most efficient – You're like M&M.
51:55Yeah, totally. That's me. I love those things with the M&M, like how M&M raps.
52:00Like, methodical, diabolical, surgical. A lot of napkins. I absolutely refuse to even pretend to rap, so I'm not going to do that.
52:07But he had 245 yards, four touchdowns, 150 passer rating.
52:10His EPA per dropback was .65. That doesn't really mean a lot to most people, but like basically more than half a point per dropback in expected points.
52:19He was out there absolutely dealing. I think he had 23 throws and they scored – they were up like 31 to nothing in the third quarter.
52:27It was basically a perfect game. Yeah, 68% success rate on offense, Trevor Lawrence was.
52:32I mean, that is – that's absurd. That's like shooting free throws.
52:36So, I don't know. I just think overall this offense looked really, really crisp.
52:40The Browns' offense sucks, but I think they have some talent on defense.
52:44This wasn't like some crappy piece of shit defense.
52:47I mean, maybe they are. I don't know. Who knows where they are really?
52:51Their offense I think is just so bad it's going to drag the whole team down for the whole year.
52:57But just really impressed with Trevor Lawrence. He didn't do any of it with his legs.
53:02I think he had like three rushing yards or something like that.
53:06It was all just picking apart the defense. And Parker Washington also might be a confirmed problem this year, you guys.
53:12Like we talked about it all offseason. Confirmed. There was some – I think there was a certain level of doubt that
53:19what we saw late in the last season with Parker Washington was actually real.
53:23And that would continue on and carry over to this season.
53:27I mean, based on one game, it absolutely has.
53:30He had five catches, 83 yards, and a touchdown.
53:3228% target rate. The next closest pass catcher on the team was Brenton Strange and Brian Thomas Jr.
53:38with a 14% target rate. And Brian Thomas got hurt.
53:41Yeah. And so he was very clearly the number one receiver in this offense.
53:45Washington was. He looked great. So, I don't know.
53:48I'm just really excited about this Jags offense. Yeah, and what Parker did was basically in one half.
53:54They really didn't need to do a whole lot in the second half.
53:58Also, I want to point out two things, two similarities between the last two problems that we've named.
54:03The Bears and the Jags. This is year two in the system.
54:07I am furious at myself because the first memento tattoo I wrote down at the end of last year was just bet
54:14on the Jags and Bears where you have number one prospects with a lot of talent.
54:19In the same system with a confirmed elite head coach and do that instead of trying to guess which of these random coordinators will be good.
54:27The newbies. Yeah. And, yeah, we should have just – well, I guess we did rank them really high.
54:33It's why this next team I want to talk about, I think next year will be a great year to bet on them.
54:40But there was a problem today out in Las Vegas.
54:43And his name was Ashton Gentry, who – Yeah.
54:46I don't know what happened to that man's ankle a month ago, but it seems perfectly fine.
54:51He touched the ball 29 times today, which is tied for the most in his career, and put up 150 yards and two touchdowns.
54:58He looked as good as you could want him to look, as advertised.
55:02First-round pick. He deserved to go whatever he went, fifth overall.
55:06He looks like – he's one of the more unique runners, I think, in the NFL right now.
55:11He has this, like – they were talking about how much he cares about balance.
55:16An hour every day in the offseason, he would just focus on doing balance work.
55:21And he really does look like if Alvin Kamara was, like, inside of Maurice Jones Drew's body or something like that.
55:27He's this, like, stout little bowling ball. Oh, that's interesting.
55:30Yeah, yeah. Who can't get knocked off his access.
55:33He just, like, doesn't go down. He's like a gyroscope where his center of rabbit won't move.
55:38Unless he's doing a 360-degree flip forward. Yeah, and even then he kind of landed like a cat on Al Force.
55:45He kind of did land like a cat. Dude, someone didn't get hit.
55:49I took a look at that. He flew through the air five – that's 15 feet.
55:54He flew through the air five yards. Imagine for a second if that happened to one of us.
55:59What would happen if we flew 15 feet? We'd never stop talking about it.
56:04I don't know if that's a lot or not, but it feels like a lot.
56:08Like, if you went flying 15 feet, wouldn't you be, like, dead?
56:12It looked like he was, like, got launched off one of those blobs on a lake.
56:17Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I thought he was unbelievable. It looks like the physics don't apply to him the way they do for other people.
56:24And there's one stat I wanted to point out that I was curious about.
56:29We talked about this a lot in the offseason.
56:32The gente yards before contact thing. And it was a big reason why we were excited about Derrick Henry going to Baltimore.
56:38Because the yards before contact in Tennessee was not great.
56:41And what Baltimore was able to do with Lamar, any running back you gave the ball to wasn't getting touched for two, three yards.
56:49Gentis yards before contact last year were, like, all-time bad.
56:52Like, bottom five out of 700 running backs over the last couple of years.
56:56It was close to zero. So I looked at just today's game.
57:00And I know they played the Dolphins. But if you exclude one dumb game where he had six carries last year, today
57:07was the only game in Gentis' career where he had over two yards before contact.
57:11And I think that's Clint Kubiak. And I think the offensive line looked pretty good today.
57:16Again, caveat Dolphins. But, like, I now believe in this system.
57:20And I believe in Gentis. And his ankle seems fine.
57:23And I think the people who bet on guys like Gentis and Jeremiah Love, who also played today with an ankle injury and looked pretty good.
57:31Gentis looks like a first-round pick. And you probably got him in the second round.
57:36And this run game looks totally real to me.
57:38The ankle. Watching. I had an intrusive thought during this game.
57:42We're watching. Because on the screens, watching O'Marrion Hampton and the Chargers side-by-side with Ashton Gentis on the Raiders.
57:48And I'm watching. And I'm like, I actually had a quarter second where I was like, which of these guys hurt their ankle, like, two weeks ago?
57:56Like, if you had just told me one of these players sprained their ankle and maybe had a high ankle sprain two
58:03weeks ago, I would have bet thousands of dollars it was, like, O'Marrion Hampton instead of Ashton Gentis.
58:08Like, Ashton Gentis looked 100% healthy. Dude, I had this thought during the game.
58:13It's borderline annoying. Like, what happened to his ankle?
58:15You know what I mean? Why did you make us doubt him?
58:19I had this thought during the games today. It was such a funny...
58:23I think that teams did such a good job of giving us a very usable comparison between great players and, like, league average players in several different games.
58:32If you watched the difference watching B. John Robinson run versus Brian Robinson run today, you were like, holy shit.
58:38He is in a whole different stratosphere. Like, it's...
58:41The difference is insane to watch. Like, just the way they move, just the way they run...
58:46The way they get up off the ground is mesmerizing.
58:49Yeah. I think Gentis versus Mike Washington... Mike Washington, I think, will be a good player in the league and whatever.
58:56He'll be a good, like, you know, counter to whatever, however they use Gentis.
59:00But clearly doesn't move in remotely the same way.
59:03And then I think the same was, like, with Algier and Jeremiah Love.
59:07Where you're like, holy shit, Jeremiah Love just moves different.
59:10And then you watch Algier. He's like, oh, he's picking up yards.
59:14But he is just a grinder. It looks like he's playing with weights around his legs.
59:18Right. Totally. So, I had that thought, like, several different times today.
59:22I was like, damn. The difference between this guy and this guy is so, so apparent.
59:27It's very important to watch Bijan run compared to Brian Robinson.
59:31And then realize that's why teams took him so high, even though he's a running back.
59:36Because it's like, holy shit. Yeah, they're just sitting there like, you see this?
59:40Like, I can't not take this player. All right.
59:43The next one. It's so over. We're so back.
59:45My favorite category. Actually, second favorite. You go first.
59:48Me? Yeah, who's so back? The Steelers are so fucking back.
59:52We won a messy, ugly, low-scoring game. Looked mildly exciting.
59:55Defense was pretty solid. Steelers are back. We're so back.
59:58They beat the Falcons 20-13. TJ Watt completely saved the team with, I think, maybe the best play I've ever seen him make.
60:05The most hilarious interception I've ever seen. Oh, it's not the best in week one.
60:10He had to win a game. Walk-off like six years ago.
60:13You know his fourth pick in week one? He was like two feet away from the quarterback today.
60:18I couldn't believe he caught that ball. Did he go yoink?
60:22Yeah. He yoinked it. A very gentle yoink. Yeah.
60:25Because the rest of the... What's funny is like the Steelers, if you check the box score, they kind of seemed bad.
60:31But I actually thought they looked better. If you watch the game, DK Metcalf dropped a touchdown.
60:37He dropped another crucial deep ball. There was a lot of drops.
60:40I thought Rodgers was actually really accurate today. But they could not run the ball.
60:45And there was a time where I was like, we all texted.
60:49We were like, are the Falcons going to fucking beat the Steelers?
60:53Was Cooper Rush going to beat the Steelers? And then they kind of got their act together.
60:58But we played all the hits. Darnell Washington threw him into the ground.
61:02Oh my God. That play. No, he didn't throw him to the ground.
61:06He threw him also like 15 feet. That guy went flying.
61:09Well, he bounced back up off the ground. Almost back to his feet.
61:13Oh, that play. Oh yeah. Where the guy's helmet hit the ground.
61:17And like the mountain and the viper. Like he just like...
61:20If that guy wasn't wearing a helmet, I think he would have died.
61:24You know how we were joking about the substation every time you see him?
61:29It's like growing. It's getting bigger and looming more ominously in the background.
61:33Like every time I see Darnell Washington, I'm like, how much does this guy weigh?
61:37He's like 315, 320. He's by far my favorite player.
61:40Oh, he's worn that. If you didn't see it, he did the Marshawn Lynch bless you thing where he grabbed the guy's
61:47head like a melon and shoved it into the ground.
61:50Calling it a stiff arm is like not doing it justice.
61:54He grabbed his head and shoved it into the ground.
61:57And it bounced back up. He's like, I baptize you.
62:00And then shoved his head into the ground. It was the most violent thing I saw.
62:05It was crazy. It was awesome. I want him to get the ball more.
62:09We don't give him the ball enough. He's my favorite player on the team.
62:14I agree. He's the most unstoppable player with the ball in his hands in the NFL.
62:18I believe that with my heart. We don't have to talk about the Steelers much, but I will say there was one difference in the Steelers offense today.
62:27Because if you look, you're like, oh, 20 to 13 classic Steelers.
62:31Aaron Rodgers today, his average depth of target was 10 yards.
62:34Last year's average was six, which is the last in the league.
62:38He was attacking. It was a weird game because the Falcons were listless and lifeless.
62:43And yet the Steelers refused to put them away and then just went one.
62:47And it was, I don't know. I don't know.
62:50They were fucking around, but they didn't find out.
62:52They're the same. Yeah. My it's so over. We're so back.
62:56It's both. It's Tyler Shuck. It was so over for Tyler Shuck in the first half of the wildest games.
63:02Yeah. And then Tyler Shuck is just so back for the final hour.
63:06This was inexplicable. The first, not even the first half, the first like two and a half quarters.
63:12Tyler Shuck was like, if you keep playing like this for a couple months, you won't have a future.
63:18Like you're going to be a backup. Van Lathan was like furious at Tyler Shuck.
63:22He was texting us. I mean, just the first half for fantasy purposes, Tyler Shuck was the 25th best fantasy quarterback in the first half of this week.
63:31The Saints were scoreless. Shuck at 85 yards. That is like through two and a half quarters.
63:36From that point on, like Shuck comes out at halftime, then immediately throws an interception and then loses a fumble.
63:42Like in the first two drives. After that, after those like first two drives at a halftime ended disaster, Tyler Shuck then
63:49completes 20 of 28 passes, 250 yards, two touchdowns, leads four straight scoring drives, sets up the game winning field goal drive for a fifth scoring drive.
63:57And then the kicker misses a 62 yarder, which is fine.
64:01They go to overtime. Lions score a touchdown. Tyler Shuck leads them down and scores the tying touchdown.
64:06And then they decide to go for two and they don't get it.
64:10But Tyler Shuck almost beat the Lions twice in this game in like two quarters.
64:15I couldn't believe how well he played. 410 yards passing.
64:18He had 85 in the first half. I thought I had the exact same reaction as you have is I'm like, oh,
64:25man, why did I talk this guy up during the offseason?
64:28What was I thinking? Because it was horrific. He played worse than any quarterback I've seen in the first half.
64:35It was he could other than Deshaun Watson. Well, yeah, other than Deshaun.
64:39Like his pick was so bad. He threw it right to the defender.
64:43It was like supposed to be just a little check down and he threw it right to the defender.
64:48That was terrible. Oh, it was so ugly. It's like, how did you not see that guy?
64:54And I was like, man, he just doesn't have it.
64:57This is this is going horribly. Why did we think that the Saints were going to be any good?
65:03And then the second half, Tyler Shuck just absolutely turn it on.
65:06I don't really know still if like he's that good.
65:09I think it was very impressive what he was able to do in the second half and lead them back.
65:16But but yeah, man, that was crazy, crazy tale.
65:18I think a common thread. Don't besmirch Shuck. If Shuck was if Cam Ward was doing what Tyler Shuck was doing and
65:25had the exact same arc, we'd be like, this is working.
65:29He's great. I agree. My instinct is to be like the Lions defense got gassed and they took advantage of it.
65:35But I agree, Craig. Like, yeah, if Cam Ward was doing this, we'd be absolutely flipping out.
65:40Honestly, at three o'clock Eastern, Shuck just became 2006 Peyton Manning.
65:44OK. Like he just became. There's a middle ground here between me besmirching him and you calling him Peyton Manning.
65:50There could only be one. Well, we talked about we did an episode in August about who's going to be the 2025
65:57Colts, who's going to be the 2026 version of that.
66:00And we mentioned the Saints is a possibility with Kellen Moore year two, blah, blah.
66:05What's really nice about the Colts or the Saints offense that is similar to the Colts last year is that it's very condensed.
66:12It's very funneled where basically Chris Olave was unbelievable today.
66:15He had like 170 yards. 182. 182 yards. He's got the guardian cap on.
66:19But it's basically Olave, Devon Vele, who looked great, got a touchdown and Juwan Johnson, who came on late, but also was great.
66:26And it's kind of like just those three. And I think the passing offense is going to continue to be very productive.
66:33They run a super fast paced offense. And like, I think all three of those guys are going to be playable.
66:39Totally agree. I think we're doing the waiver show.
66:42And again, we do these recaps on Sundays. We do waivers on Mondays, power Wednesdays, previews on Fridays.
66:48The waivers episode, I'm sure Devon Vele is going to be like maybe the number one receiver pickup just because he's going to play a lot.
66:56He can make plays. He made a couple of really nice catches, too.
67:00It wasn't just easy stuff. He made, I think, two diving catches in this game.
67:05You know what's really hard in fantasy is like the Jalen Coker types, the Devon Vele types who like have a good
67:11week one, but they were like on your bench.
67:14And then you have to decide like, do I bench my start?
67:18Do I bench Devontae Smith to play Jalen Coker now?
67:21And usually you don't do it and you like wait a couple weeks and then you just keep burning good Jalen Coker and Devon Vele games.
67:29So we should talk about that tomorrow because it's one thing to add somebody like Vele, but it's another to start him.
67:36I, yeah, it's just, they have the late round syndrome where we just don't trust your eyes.
67:41It's like Tyler Shuck. Parker Washington. Yeah. Yeah. Tyler Shuck.
67:44They're all in the same conversation. It takes like, they have to do way more to just immediately trust.
67:50Like if Luther Burden did what Parker Washington did in the first quarter today, we'd be putting him in the Hall of Fame.
67:57It's actually a good point to phrase it that way.
68:00You're right. Burden is a strong hold. It was fine.
68:03He had like 65 yards. It's fine. DK, who's your, it's so over.
68:07I've got two quick ones here. We're so back.
68:10Bucky Irving is good again. I was just very encouraged.
68:13I was very encouraged when I saw from Bucky.
68:16Yeah. That's a good one. He looked great. He looked really like twitchy.
68:20The way he was making guys miss. Fumbling. The fumbles were twitchy.
68:24I mean, he had one. He had a fumble.
68:26That was his bad play. Thanks, Heifetz. You fucking jerk.
68:30But other than that. This is DK's segment, Heifetz.
68:32You always do this to me. You're ruining it.
68:35Mom, I'm done with my segment. Yeah. Bucky Irving.
68:38I'm just going to power through. Out snapped Kenneth Gainwell.
68:41Craig's favorite player, Kenneth Gainwell, was pretty irrelevant in this game.
68:44He out snapped Gainwell. 61 to 46. Out touched him 15 to 6.
68:48He had eight rushes, 45 yards. Why is this random thing on Bucky Irving so contentious?
68:53Yeah. DK's like, the guy Craig likes fucking sucked.
68:56I'm sorry. I couldn't. I was just, it was like the spray and pray.
69:00I just got to like shoot back at something.
69:03You're just doing Baker. You're just like doing Baker Mayfield propaganda talking about Bucky Irving up and not mentioning how Baker just
69:10fucking blew this game for the Bucs and for us.
69:13Bucky didn't blow it. Fucking Baker Mayfield had three fumbles.
69:16All right. Yeah. It wasn't. He said Baker blew it, not Bucky.
69:20Oh, okay. Well, Bucky fumbled too. I'm super defensive.
69:23It takes a village to turn it over four times.
69:26Did you see Baker blamed the headset? Baker said there were headset issues the whole game.
69:31Oh, yeah. That's true. He did change his helmet early on in the game.
69:35Yeah. He, that is both probably true. I do believe there's tech issues.
69:39I do believe sometimes it's on purpose. And also he literally just got a first down and then kept going to try
69:46to score and then just immediately got stripped and like they lost because of that play.
69:51The ball was really greased up in this game.
69:54I feel like a lot of people lose. It's humid all over the country.
69:58They kept, all the announcers kept talking about it.
70:01How hot and thick and sweaty it was. It was like the movie body heat out there.
70:06Totally. Hot, thick and sweaty. Anyways, I'm not going to talk about Bucky Irving anymore.
70:11I think the Bucks will be fine. They had, they lost four fumbles in this game and they still made it close.
70:18I think they'll be okay. I'm Googling body sweat movie because I don't want to Google body sweat.
70:23Body heat with Kathleen Turner. They're body heat. It's good movies.
70:26You should watch it. We did a rewatchable on it.
70:30While you Google that, Heifetz, I'm going to do it.
70:33It's so fucking over. I can't even believe it.
70:35Deshaun Watson. Oh, closing body heat. Okay. I mean, it's insulting at this point to Cleveland's fans that Deshaun Watson is playing.
70:42Wouldn't you say? He's truly, he's approaching, he's as bad as like Curtis Painter at this point.
70:47Like there's got, like, you know, the Will Levis thing.
70:51There's not 32 like quarterbacks that are better than me.
70:54There's not, I don't know if there's a, like, there's probably a hundred quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Watson at this point.
71:01I mean, you just can't wait. None of them are the Browns.
71:05There's teams that have three quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Watson.
71:08I think the funniest thing is that I think there are only two quarterbacks in the NFL that have been able to
71:15play multiple games I've ever seen that in shotgun just run back like 10 steps immediately.
71:20And they're both on the Cleveland Browns this year.
71:23Nate Tice was talking about this. He was like, in shotgun, there's no such thing as seven step drops.
71:29He just keeps going back. Shador just runs backwards.
71:31Like it's Madden. And Deshaun Watson does seven step drops from shotgun.
71:35And no one else has ever done that. In his defense.
71:39If I were playing on a football field where really tall, strong, fast, violent men were trying to hit the shit out
71:45of me, I would also be running back as fast as I can.
71:49It's actually a very natural instinct. So in this scenario, you're playing Watson's defense attorney, you could say.
71:55Interesting choice. Devil's advocate, if you will. You know, look, I'm a public defender in this one.
72:00I was assigned the case. The possessions. You should do that.
72:04That should be a segment. Fuck. I've been assigned the case.
72:07Don't judge me. All right. It's the criminal justice system.
72:10We should do public. That is really funny. Public defender.
72:13It's like, fuck, I got assigned to the Chargers.
72:16God damn it. Defender. Fuck. They give it to like the new guy.
72:20Good luck. Anyway, I don't need it. We don't need to linger too much on this.
72:25You get two minutes to prep too. You're like, you just get it.
72:29Here's the Browns. You have Kim Ward and you have 100 seconds to prep.
72:33Fuck. May I approach the bench, your honor? If you are a public defender, can you email us and give us like what other tips?
72:41Because that's the one I've heard. You get like 11 minutes sometimes.
72:45Anyway, keep going. Sorry, DK. Look, I'm not breaking any news here.
72:48Possessions in the first half for the Browns. Interception, punt, punt, fumble, punt, end of half.
72:53And then they were down 24 to nothing. They went down 31 to nothing in the third quarter.
72:59Watson's first half success rate was 25%. Weirdly enough, Matthew Stafford was the only quarterback this week that was worse than that.
73:06Stafford, not a great first half last week. Can I reiterate that?
73:09Reiterate that Deshaun Watson. He was jet lagged. Sure.
73:12Imagine if Deshaun Watson threw to Australia. Deshaun Watson threw a pick on the fifth play of this fucking game.
73:18Yeah. And then they came back. And then he tried to throw another pick.
73:23And the only reason it didn't is it just ricocheted off of, I can never pronounce the guy's names.
73:29A lot of guns. The linebacker's chest. It hit him in the goddamn belly button and ricocheted down.
73:34And that's the only reason the Browns didn't have back-to-back picks.
73:38Then he fumbled and they had a three and out again.
73:41And then he fumbled and lost it. Would it be boring if I just named a bunch of backup quarterbacks and you
73:48guys say yes or no, whether you'd rather play them if you were a Browns fan?
73:53It would be boring because they're all yeses. I was just kidding.
73:56I mean, I think Nathan Peterman is. How about this?
74:00I'll do some third string quarterbacks. Will Howard. Definitely Will Howard.
74:03Oh, for sure. I feel like Will Howard would do better.
74:06Quinn Ewers. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Garrett Nussmeyer. I'd way rather have Garrett Nussmeyer.
74:10He was the seventh round pick. What do we do with Browns?
74:14Nussmeyer would definitely give the Browns a better chance to win.
74:17Aiden O'Connell. Yeah. I've seen him be successful. He's won games.
74:21Well, I guess the Bears have Tyson Bajan as third string because he was inactive.
74:26He's good. But Case Keenum. Case Keenum. Oh, he's like a coach.
74:29Oh, God. How old is he? Here we go.
74:32Let's see. Carson Bebeck. I don't know if he can even throw.
74:36Absolutely. Jalen Milrow. I feel like there's 100 quarterbacks that are better than Deshaun Alotso.
74:40Arifasan put it well today. He posted that 99% of the time fans want to put in the really toolsy guy who
74:47went in the sixth round to dick around. It's an absolutely insane thing to do.
74:52There's a reason they suck. The Browns should actually just play Taylin Green, the guy out of Arkansas who just can.
74:58Now you're talking. Anthony Richardson, basically. But if he wasn't a good enough thrower to even get drafted in the first four
75:05rounds, like they should just fucking play him. But I know Watson's going to play one more game and they'll hope he gets hurt.
75:13And if not, they'll bench him for week three when they go home.
75:17Yeah. Okay. Is that anything for It's So Over?
75:19We're so bad. Can I give one more? It's So Over.
75:23You brought up the Rams. I think we have to do It's So Over for Miles Garrett going to injured reserve with an arthroscopic knee issue.
75:31Like this guy's not even going to play in America for the first four weeks of the season now.
75:37This is wild. Shout out to Tom Pelissero of The Ringer.
75:40Hell yeah. A little jarring to see sources tell The Ringer in Netflix sports.
75:44But the Rams, yeah. Kind of overshadowing us as journalists, but yeah.
75:48Yeah. Kind of just what about our sources? Craig's sources.
75:51I got plenty of sources, but. We could have figured that out.
75:55You don't hear me bragging about it. You don't hear me reporting.
75:59You don't hear, you don't see me on Netflix talking about my sources.
76:03I mean, this actually is on Netflix. You are talking about your sources.
76:07No, yeah. It's really, it's really impressive. Yeah. What do you guys make of this?
76:11Miles Garrett, they get, he gets traded to the Rams for Jared verse, a first, a second, a third place.
76:17One game has no impact other than the idea of him, which the Niners were initially scared of and then didn't have any quarterback pressure.
76:25He impacted the game, but now just out a month.
76:28Do you guys look at this as like the Rams regret the trade?
76:32Do you see this as nothing? Like, I'm curious.
76:35Aaron Donald, maybe is like, oh fuck. Is Aaron Donald going to be like, well, what?
76:40Well, I thought he was going to be playing.
76:43I don't want to play by myself. McVay's like, get ready, Aaron.
76:47You're playing seven snaps in week two. He's like, I came out of retirement because he was playing.
76:52The Ravens would try to figure out how to undo the trade.
76:56Yeah. Just fail him on the physical. I don't know.
76:59It just makes me think that the Rams are like, it'll be fine.
77:03Like, we don't need to really worry until November.
77:06And I fear that by then there'll be like six and eight, but we'll see.
77:10It would be really awkward if they just started like one in five and then Miles Garrett came back.
77:16And the Rams are just as bad as the Browns.
77:19Ewing theory. Okay. It's time to lock in guys.
77:22It's important. It's time for something actually important. It's time for America's favorite segment is back.
77:27It's been a long time. It's time for fart or shart.
77:30God damn it. We don't have like some clever fart intro sound at the moment.
77:35So it's Craig, you want to fart into a microphone?
77:38I haven't fully digested yet. We just make a fart sound, not actually fart.
77:43Just make a fart sound. Well, don't we have, we have drops from last year that we can put in now.
77:49Right. We can. I don't think anyone was asking for those back, to be honest.
77:54People didn't like those? I don't think so. I didn't like those.
77:57Like 20 seconds of uninterrupted diarrhea sounds? Yeah. I was uncomfortable.
78:01You should just record the Dumb and Dumber diarrhea scene and just play that.
78:05There we go. Is that on Netflix? I don't know.
78:08I like, I love how Heifetz introduces it. He puts so much emphasis and weight on fart.
78:13He does a great job. He goes, fart or shart?
78:17And it's great. I feel like it's like a game show, like Fear Factor or something.
78:21Absolutely. I've been waiting for this for, since February.
78:24DK. Daniel. Oh my God. The Chicago Bears. I'm sure they scored 59 points today.
78:29That might be, you know, that's what's on the outside.
78:32But when you look under the hood, there's a man named Colston Loveland standing there alone in a dark room.
78:38I cannot believe this. Colston Loveland today had two targets, zero catches, zero fantasy points.
78:43The Bears scored 59 motherfucking points. And Colston Loveland had none of them.
78:47DK. Had none of them. DK. Colston Loveland, fart or shart?
78:50This is unequivocally a fart. It's a very loud and disgusting fart.
78:54I love making him say that. It's so good.
78:57It's arguably one of the most embarrassing farts of all time.
79:00Because you drafted him in like the second or third round or whatever it is.
79:05Yes. Fourth round. I mean, the amount of expectations were extremely high on this guy.
79:09And he had literally no catches today. No points.
79:12He didn't score any fantasy points. Craig, you said he didn't score any of the Bears 59 points.
79:18He didn't score a fantasy points. It's zero catches.
79:21Yes. However, if you look at the way that he, like the amount of snaps that he played, the amount of routes
79:27that he ran, he actually ran the second most routes of any tight end in the NFL today.
79:33He ran the most routes on the Bears. He ran 35 routes.
79:37The next highest was Luther Burden at 27. He's going to be fine.
79:41They're not going to have Khalif Rabin eat up nine targets every game.
79:45And he actually did have a end zone target where they lined him up outside on one-on-one situation.
79:50He ran an in route or an in breaking route and Caleb just barely missed him.
79:55And that would have been a touchdown. That could, that will be a touchdown, you know, next week or the week after or whatever.
80:03I think he's going to be fine. But yeah, I mean, this is obviously like a really inauspicious start to the season after that much hype.
80:11But I do think he's going to be fine.
80:13He ran 35 routes, 97% route rate. Like he's out there running routes on pretty much every time they throw the football.
80:20I mean, this can extrapolate even further. I mean, the Bears scored seven touchdowns today and Roma Dunze, Luther Burden, and Colston Lovell had none of them.
80:29Right. That will not happen again. We need a word for when you're out doing stuff and you come home because you
80:35couldn't watch the game and you open your app and you see Bears 59 and you're like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing in my life.
80:44You open it up, scrolling down and seeing Luther Burden or Colston Lovelland zero.
80:48Please send us your submissions for what that should be called because it's the world.
80:53Yeah, it is that. Literally sent this to our group chat.
80:56It's the Anakin Skywalker meme where it's like the Bears have 59 points.
81:00It's like Colston Lovelland must have a catch, right?
81:03Right? What do we call that? We need to say it's the Anakin Skywalker.
81:08I don't know, but we do. Yeah. Email us at ringerfantasyfootballgmail.com if you have a name for when you, yeah.
81:14Basically a team's crushing it and the player does nothing.
81:17Kind of like if Jamar Chase hypothetically had like, I don't know, two points or something in the Bengals one.
81:23I will say though, to the Bears point, just another like while we're blowing smoke up Ben Johnson's ass, I have to say, I saw someone posted.
81:31I forget who had this reel, but I think it's correct.
81:35Jaday Walker is this like, I don't want to say random, but he's like a lower on the depth chart player in the Bears.
81:42And he was just blocking his ass off. He had an incredible pancake block basically on offense and on special teams.
81:49And then you know what happened? Ben Johnson drew him up a touchdown.
81:53And I think that's a tone setting thing. That's a Kyle Shannon thing, right?
81:57No block, like no block, no rock. Like you want the ball?
82:01Block your ass off in every play. And it sends a message.
82:04It's kind of shit DJ Moore's bad at and didn't fit in with the Bears about is like the whole trying when you're not getting the ball thing.
82:13And I think that that was like a very tone setting thing that Ben Johnson did was like, you know, who's going to get the ball?
82:21The people who fucking block. Dude. Not that Colson Loveland doesn't, but it's very intentional.
82:26No block, no rock is one of the best just catchphrases ever.
82:29No block, no rock. Kalief Raymond must block his motherfucking ass off then because Kalief Raymond today led the Bears in targets, catches, and yards.
82:37He had eight catches for 84 yards. DK, how old do you think Kalief Raymond is?
82:4228? He's 32. 32? Kalief Raymond's 32 years old.
82:45What? He's surrounded by some of the most premier 24-year-old athletes you could imagine.
82:49He's just posting you up. He just dominated the game.
82:52He was like Matthew Delvedova in the 2015 finals.
82:55I never understood why he doesn't get the ball more.
82:58Every time Kalief Raymond touches the football, I'm kind of like, he's been good.
83:03I don't know why he didn't play more for the Lions.
83:06I don't know what his deal is, but every time he touches the ball, I'm kind of like, he's doing stuff.
83:12Just a hilarious week one development. There's always like, every month there's a game like this where there's some random fifth string.
83:19Like Olamide Zaccheaus once a year has like 130 yards and two touchdowns.
83:23Right. Very similar. All right, I'm going to turn this shit around on you.
83:28Pun intended. You're going to fart or shart me?
83:30Yeah, buddy. Get ready. Okay. Craig and Heifetz. Oh.
83:33Fart or shart. Devon Achan of the Dolphins. 11 rushes for 36 yards.
83:37Eight points in fantasy. Just behind Kendra Miller. He was the 26th ranked running back in half PBR today.
83:43He was the 13th overall player in ADP. This was probably the easiest game they're going to have all year.
83:49I didn't actually look at their schedule, but you know, the Raiders aren't great.
83:54I think this is a shart. I think I'm starting to be very worried that this is just not going to work all year.
84:01He had 15 touches in this game and he averaged 19 touches last year.
84:05Like that's pretty dramatic. And honestly, this offense is not going to get any better.
84:10The Dolphins are going to win between zero and two games this season.
84:14And a lot of Achan's value came from Tua dumping the ball off and Achan getting like 80 catches or, you know,
84:21the potential to just be like an incredibly leading receiver, an incredibly efficient receiver on these screens that were designed by Mike
84:28McDaniel, just being like the actual rare receiver that can, or running back that can line up at receiver and be good
84:34at receiver instead of just being there for show.
84:37Right. That's all gone now. And Malik Willis is not going to be doing checkdowns.
84:42Like this offense is non-functional in Miami. And the receiving core is non-functional.
84:46Honestly, the player that is Devon Achan now is Ashton Gentry.
84:49And what I mean by that is the guy who's going to be the excellent early down grinder who gets goal line
84:56work, but also can actually maybe lead their team in receiving sometimes is Ashton Gentry.
85:01And I thought that was very clear watching this game today where he's going to be the guy who's like the elite receiving running back.
85:08And Achan, I am very concerned about Achan. I am too.
85:12There's a reason. We had him as our least favorite pick in the second round of drafts this year.
85:18I don't want a player on a team that's tanking and with a quarterback who runs and is not going to check down as much.
85:25I'm very worried. And I don't think most people took him that high.
85:29I can't imagine. But yeah, I'm definitely. Shart. Messy shart.
85:33Yeah. And again, I really like, as stupid as this segment is, I like what we came up with, which is the
85:39definition is like, a fart is a smelly thing you get over and a shart is like, does something have to change?
85:46That's right. Yeah. And yeah, something would have to change for Achan to be, I think, reliable this year.
85:52I think that when he does this again, 11 carries for 36 yards and no touchdowns.
85:57I don't think you're going to be like shocked.
86:00And they're going to be like, oh yeah. Well, there's also something to like, Devon Achan used to have Waddle and Tyreek
86:07Hill on his team that teams had to respect.
86:09And now it's like the only person you need to focus on is Achan.
86:14It's just him. Like there are very few people on this team with any NFL experience as known.
86:19Like it's, it's kind of shocking how few NFL games have been played by the people on offense for the dolphins.
86:26It's stunning. Has there ever been a larger drop-off in wide receiver talent than week one last year?
86:31They had Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddle. And this year it was Caleb Douglas and Chris Bell.
86:37That's a good call. It's probably the biggest, it might be the biggest Delta of all time.
86:42It's a good call. Thank you. You're welcome. DK fucking hated that though.
86:46He didn't say shit. So it's ironic that I hate that segment and my favorite player I had to ask you guys about.
86:53So it's tough, tough scene for me. You don't like the segment because it's like juvenile?
86:58Why? No, it's not. I don't actually hate it.
87:01I don't know. I just don't like when you guys grill me on stuff.
87:05Meet me alone. You don't like being asked questions.
87:08You don't like being asked who will win the Super Bowl before the NFL season.
87:12I don't like being asked questions. It's a rare trait for a podcaster that you don't like to ask questions.
87:19All right. You hate being asked questions. You just give me questions so much.
87:23What's funny is it's actually true. It's not even a bit.
87:26Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck and the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person.
87:32You probably know one, your buddy, your sister, ones who always show up.
87:36They're the first to rise, the last to leave.
87:39They always have that little extra something. And maybe you've got it too.
87:43Chevrolet. Together let's drive. Visit Chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup.
87:46Intrusive thoughts. I like to actually, that's a good intrusive thought.
87:50TK hates being asked questions. I don't like it when you ask me questions.
87:54Yeah. Can I give you guys an intrusive thought I had today?
87:58Okay. Please. I was like, maybe the Packers should have fired Matt LaFleur.
88:02I just think, you know what? All the fans wanted to fire Matt LaFleur at the end of last season because they
88:09kept blowing these games to the Bears. And I was like, you know, that's crazy.
88:13Matt LaFleur is a great coach. He would get snapped up in a second.
88:18You would instantly regret losing Matt LaFleur. He's been incredibly successful.
88:21What have you done for me lately? You're crazy.
88:24And then I'm watching the Packers just blow this game to Carson Wentz.
88:28The Packers blew a 12-point lead to Carson Wentz.
88:31This is an absolutely inexplicable game. Kyler Murray gets hurt.
88:34Kyler Murray gets hurt on the 11th snap for Minnesota.
88:37And the Vikings have 200 fewer yards than the Packers by the end of this game.
88:42And yet the Packers lost. And not only do they blow a 12-point lead, the Packers lost by 17.
88:48And I have to read you two steps. Rob Domovsky at ESPN.
88:51Had this great stat. The Packers have lost six straight games dating back to last season, which is the longest losing streak for Green Bay since 1990.
89:00Oh, wow. And the other one is the Packers.
89:03This is also Josh Dubow at the AP. The Packers had blown a double-digit second-half lead to a division rival three times in the last 40 years.
89:11And now they've done that same thing three times since December 20th.
89:15No. So, like, it's such a competitive division. I don't think you can get handed a better opportunity than week one.
89:21You're dealing with Carson Wentz for almost the entire game.
89:24You're up 12. And you kind of got blown out.
89:27And I'm not saying they should fire Matt LaFleur, but it did kind of keep popping up in my mind how much Packers fans were done with him.
89:36Some Packers fans hated him. And I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
89:40And didn't he sign it? He quietly signed an extension this offseason, didn't he?
89:44The Packers extended him. Because he's a good, very successful head coach who's made the playoffs three years in a row as
89:51the seventh seed, which did not exist five years ago.
89:54And so it's a funny little thing where they also would have missed the playoffs in any other season in NFL history as of, like, 2021.
90:02So it's a funny little thing they got going.
90:05They blitzed. I believe the Vikings blitzed him 78%.
90:08Blitz Jordan loves 78% of the time. Is that in the second half?
90:12On past play. Oh, Brian Flores would not stop.
90:15They destroyed him. And the Packers looked so good for, like, the first two quarters.
90:19They looked at Christian Watson at, like, 130 yards, two touchdowns at half.
90:23Like, everything that we thought the Packers offense was going to be happened.
90:27And then it was a complete reversal and a collapse.
90:30And the Vikings offense was not even that good.
90:33It honestly was like the Texas-Ohio State game or something.
90:36It was like if the Buccaneers had won, it was like that.
90:40But it was just kind of like, how is this even still going?
90:44It was confusing. We kept texting each other. We're like, the Vikings keep scoring points.
90:49Like, this is unbelievable. Yeah. It's 30. Stop them.
90:51They're not in points. They lost by 17. I can't even believe this.
90:55What's that policy called in stores? What was that policy called in stores where if you steal a certain amount under a
91:02certain value, they're not even allowed to go? Like, a no chase policy?
91:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was how it felt. Like, the Packers defense, like, couldn't even try to stop the fight.
91:12Like, Justin Jefferson was unbelievable in this game. But I don't know.
91:16I don't understand how Jordan Addison doesn't even have a catch.
91:20And Justin Jefferson has 92 yards and two touchdowns.
91:22He had two touchdowns all last year. If I'm the Packers and Carson Wentz, this is what frustrates me.
91:28Carson Wentz comes in. I watched enough of the Vikings.
91:31Never mind the fucking Green Bay Packers. I watched enough of Carson Wentz with the Vikings.
91:36All he does is be like, I'm going to throw it at Justin Jefferson.
91:41That's all he fucking does. And you know what?
91:43If he doesn't get to Justin Jefferson, he probably just gets sacked.
91:47It's like, I know it's simplistic sometimes to be like double Justin Jefferson.
91:51Force Carson Wentz to throw it anywhere else. And they kind of couldn't?
91:55I don't understand that. I don't understand. Can I ask a dumb hypothetical?
91:59Maybe this isn't dumb. I don't know. If so, let's say Kyler's out next week.
92:04He got a concussion. I'm guessing he probably will miss at least one game.
92:08And Wentz wins again. Do they have to give back the job to Kyler?
92:12Or do they stay with Wentz and be like, well, we're just kind of rolling.
92:17Especially if they win next week. No, they go back to Kyler, I think.
92:21Can you imagine J.J. McCarthy, the fact that he's not the second strength?
92:25The starting quarterback got hurt in the first five minutes of the game.
92:29And J.J. McCarthy was not good enough to get in.
92:33I just can't believe that. He's the emergency backup.
92:35It's crazy. He's probably sitting there like, what the fuck happened?
92:39They're literally calling on the backup quarterback. And it is not me.
92:42The only reason I ask that question about Wentz, though, is because the way that the competition went with Kyler and J.J.
92:49McCarthy, Wentz was a third distant option. I don't even know if he was on the team until recently.
92:55When did they sign him anyway? He's been there.
92:58He was there last year. Oh, my bad. I didn't hear about him until last week when it was revealed that Wentz
93:05was actually the backup quarterback, not J.J. McCarthy. He was kind of always going to be the second straight.
93:11Well, it's just because he's the veteran and everything.
93:13But here's the reason I thought of that. It came into my head.
93:17It's like the competition between Kyler and J.J. McCarthy did not go well.
93:21From all the reports, it was like basically Kyler is not pulling away from McCarthy.
93:26They're both pretty bad. And it would be like day.
93:29I mean, Kyler threw a pick on his first pass.
93:32Right. First throw, which got a race because, you know, the concussion like.
93:36And we were talking about how terrible their offense looked at the beginning of the game.
93:41And then as soon as they began to have talk that J.J.
93:45McCarthy might actually win this competition, like Kevin O'Connell was like, Kyler, you're the starter.
93:50We're just calling it. I'm not dealing with this bullshit.
93:53I'm not going to let it like go into the court of public opinion.
93:57Kyler is the starter and we're going with Kyler.
94:00And it kind of felt like he just did that because he didn't want it to be like a controversy at all.
94:07And he just never considered starting J.J. McCarthy. Now I'm just like, what if Wentz is actually just better for this offense?
94:13I mean, like Heifetz said, like he throws it, throws it to the Italians, pass it to the Italians, throw it to J.J.
94:20or Justin Jefferson. And maybe this offense actually functions better.
94:24I don't know. Probably not. But I think the Vikings will have will end up passing the Browns for the most quarterbacks
94:30to start over the last like five years or something.
94:33If Carson Wentz starts next week or just the amount of different players and maybe their time.
94:39But like they've had such a revolving door. Part of me is there is something to the backup quarterback thing where it's
94:45like I almost think maybe it ended up working to the Vikings advantage with the Packers playing for Kyler Murray probably for
94:52like five months and then kind of played Carson Wentz.
94:55And then that'll work for like a week. But I don't think Carson Wentz will work over the course of a month.
95:02Craig, do you have any other intrusive thoughts? Yeah.
95:05You know, we always have a couple of take purges that we don't say because we don't fully feel them in our hearts, in our guts.
95:13They're not fully intrusive. I kind of was – I always had a little kernel of a thought about like, is there
95:20any chance that the Cardinals are just going to be like decent?
95:24Like could the Cardinals offense be okay? And watching this game today, I'm like, I don't know, man.
95:29Jacoby Brissett is not a great quarterback. He has had moments of being like a serviceable starter in the NFL.
95:35But I just look at their team and I'm like, all right.
95:39I'm watching Jeremiah Love, who I think is really good.
95:42And I'm watching Trey McBride, who was awesome once again and is like weirdly underrated.
95:47Every single game he has like six catches for 90 yards.
95:50Dude, he's a beast. Marvin Harrison and Michael Wilson are rock solid.
95:54Kendrick Bourne's a really good number three. They had Tyler Algier.
95:57And I'm like, they have a LaFleur call in place who's done three years with Shanahan, three years with McVay.
96:03And I'm kind of like – I know the schedule is terrible, but I thought they blocked well today.
96:09And I'm like, I don't know. Is there any chance that the Cardinals are not that bad?
96:15I had the exact same thought, Greg. I was like, maybe we completely just forgot to even consider the idea that the Cardinals offense might be good.
96:23Like they put up points last year. They lost all those games.
96:27But that wasn't necessarily because the offense was losing those games, right?
96:30The Cardinals were the most injured team in the league by certain – like adjusted games lost.
96:36And they kept the defensive coordinator, Nick Rallis. And I think that's kind of an underrated thing sometimes when a head coach
96:42comes in like Michael Fleur that could have other options.
96:45He's the 10th coach hired, so maybe he didn't.
96:48But they're not having a new system on defense.
96:51Which when you get all the injured guys back, like that can help a lot, which probably also the Chargers dealt with today too.
96:58It's not a new system. And the defense looked really good today.
97:02Anyway, that was just an intrusive thought. Another one I had was that – what if – should we bring back the preseason?
97:09Should we play more – should we go back to four preseason games and like start playing more in the preseason?
97:16You know what I don't like? I don't like this thing now where it's like, well, week one, no one's ready.
97:22I'm like, that doesn't seem right. Why are we doing it that way?
97:26I would like all the players to be ready.
97:29I don't want guys getting hurt and fumbling all over the place and there's penalties.
97:34Play in the preseason. I want my teams to be ready.
97:37What made me think of this weirdly, I came across an article today about Nutella, the hazelnut spread.
97:43And there was a report out that Nutella has reduced the amount of hazelnuts in the actual spread.
97:48Nutella is 13% hazelnuts, which is slightly alarming. Okay.
97:51It is mostly sugar and palm oil and they just decreased the amount of hazelnuts in the spread.
97:57And apparently you can tell because it's lighter in color.
98:00And I'm like – my loose connection is that like this is what the NFL is doing.
98:05And I'm like, eh, add more hazelnuts. Play more preseason games.
98:08I want my players and I want the teams to be ready week one.
98:13I want to go back to four preseason games.
98:15Go back to two a days. Yeah. Practice more and more preseason games, please.
98:20That was my intrusive thought today. It is true though that like now the NFL season you just kind of have to
98:27bake in that there's going to be like a month of just really sloppy bullshit.
98:31That used to be what the preseason was for.
98:34Well, it's funny. Maybe that's what the Cowboys defense was doing.
98:37They weren't trying very hard because it was a preseason game to them.
98:41It's like a lot of the narrative is like, well, these guys haven't really seen game speed a lot.
98:47You know? They haven't really seen that yet. So that's what they're working on with the kinks now.
98:53I'm like, well, that's what fucking preseason's for. It doesn't make any sense.
98:57Well, I mean the obvious response to that is that we'd have more players hurt by the time the season started.
99:03Would we? Or are more players getting hurt in week one?
99:07I don't know. So maybe they probably have studies on that.
99:10What is palm oil? Palm oil. That's a great question.
99:13I don't know. I guess I don't know what palm oil is.
99:17Palm oil is sugar, palm oil, and hazelnuts. I'm like, what is palm oil?
99:21It's probably like a vegetable or a canola oil or something.
99:25Yeah. Wow. Not much hazelnut. One of those cheap oils.
99:28It's kind of like there's not much bird in an owl.
99:31You know what I mean? Owls aren't that big.
99:34It's mostly feathers. There's not much bird in an owl.
99:37It's exactly like that. Google a diagram of an owl.
99:40Have you ever seen a wet owl? Yeah, exactly.
99:43A wet owl. Not much bird in there. We should power rank worst animals to look at wet.
99:49Dude, look at wet owls. They look ridiculous. Palm oil is an edible vegetable oil derived from the reddish mesocarp of the fruit of the African oil palm.
99:57Totally. Solved it. So we figured that out. Did you guys Google wet owls yet?
100:02I don't want to because I like owls. I've already done it.
100:06I've probably already seen it, too. Anyway. Okay. Best quote of the day.
100:10You mentioned Baker blaming the headsets not working. Yeah.
100:12Any of the quotes stuck out to you guys?
100:15I wanted to bring up Tom Brady's back, and I thought he was incredibly mediocre today.
100:20I do not think he improved. He was exactly the same as I remembered him.
100:25And he had a quote today that I know he didn't make up.
100:29Brett Favre, I believe. Or he said Brett Favre said this.
100:32But it was so anachronistic to the way that he speaks usually.
100:36He was like, he dropped it in there like a butterfly with sore legs.
100:40I know. I heard that. And Burkhart was like, what?
100:43And he's like, oh, you know, it just means like a ball's kind of dropped perfectly in his arms.
100:49And I'm like, Brady, you know, like people who like have a word of the day and they like mix in a
100:56really, you know, elaborate vocabulary word that doesn't really fit in their typical way of speaking.
101:01I'm like, Brady is just, I don't know what he's trying.
101:04He's all over the place to me. It reminds me a little bit of like the people that go to like a
101:11class to be better salesmen or something. And then they just start saying your first name every time with every sentence they say.
101:18It's like, stop saying my name. I'm like, we've known each other for a long time.
101:23Josh Allen with the Bills? I know you're with the Bills.
101:27Yeah, Josh Allen of the Buffalo Bills. He kept like, he kept saying Rasul Douglas his full name.
101:32I'm like, you don't need, he'd be like, so Rasul Douglas here sees Devontae Smith and then Rasul Douglas decides to attack the ball.
101:40And I thought that was a great job by Rasul Douglas.
101:43I'm like, what are you doing? You don't have to do that.
101:47I know you know him. We all know that.
101:49You're Tom Brady. You're Tom Brady. Tom Brady. I don't know.
101:53No one else felt that way? I definitely clocked that expression.
101:56I think you're the reason he stopped yelling. Are you guys afraid of my criticism of Tom Brady?
102:02Do you think he's going to come back and get us?
102:05No, I think you're the reason he stopped yelling, though.
102:08I think that you're impression of him on the rewatchables where he did the Jalen Hurts.
102:13So good. KB. He stopped doing that like four days after you made fun of him.
102:18Like on the rewatchables. I don't think this is this show, but I do think someone sent him that clip because he stopped doing it immediately.
102:26I feel like sometimes when I offer my critiques of him, you two get silent.
102:31I will say, Craig, just to say fuck you.
102:34There was a point in the game right before the half, I think it was.
102:38Brady was like, he said, the offense is inefficient passing.
102:41Offense has been me ocher. And I was like, that's probably him actually talking.
102:46That's funny because he brought his. But you know what?
102:49He does say every once in a while, he's good.
102:52Like the Jaden Daniels play at the end of the game where.
102:56And I had a flex category today of like worst play of the day.
103:00I thought the commander's two point conversion play was terrible.
103:03They did that like shuffle pass thing to the tight end.
103:06His name I'm blanking on. And I thought it was terrible.
103:10John Bates. It was John Bates. And Rashad White was open in the flat.
103:14And apparently Jaden just made that call. But whatever.
103:17Brady had a great line. He said, in big moments, you need to think about players, not plays.
103:23And I was like, he's like, it doesn't matter.
103:25It's more important to the player, not design the cutest, most perfect play.
103:29So I think Brady still can do it. And sometimes it just comes to him and like his natural instincts kick it.
103:36And he could be good. Well, I think that is the heart of the criticism is.
103:41We know it's in you. You just like talk.
103:44Like when he was on the Madden cast and stuff, it was so much more natural.
103:49It's so. It's just he's trying to be too buttoned up.
103:52He's trying to be a network guy. Mike Tomlin.
103:55NBC now. I'm like, they neutered him. Yeah. I'm like, you took the loosest, most relaxed person.
104:00You Jason Garrett if I had him. I'm like, Tom Brady.
104:04Again. Let loose, man. Anytime he's not being paid $30 million a year to talk about football.
104:09Tom Brady is the most interesting person here. Did you guys hear Russell Wilson?
104:13Russell Wilson kind of had a. He went a little hot today on the CBS pregame show.
104:19I actually did not hear him. Give me the recap.
104:22How was he? Russell Wilson said what we've been talking about.
104:25I've been saying the Bengals are like small, small market NBA team.
104:29He basically said if the Bengals aren't good this year, Burrow is going to leave.
104:33And that he wants to leave. I was like, yeah, there we go.
104:37Russ. That's a little too. Not just saying like really random boring shit.
104:41I'm like, way to start out strong. That actually is a good quote of the day.
104:46That is the thing. I don't know if it's a rumor being spun up by other teams.
104:52I think the Rams want Joe Burrow, to be honest.
104:55I think Ty Simpson was a trade chip to send to the Bengals for Joe Burrow when Stafford retires.
105:01Fascinating. It's like a just in case trade chip.
105:03I think that they're spinning. I think the Rams are spinning yarns that among other teams that also the genuine reality possibility
105:10that Joe Burrow wants out of Cincinnati. Do you think that they got word that the Bengals liked Ty Simpson?
105:16Because otherwise, why wouldn't they just give them first round picks?
105:20They just want Ty Simpson to look good and they trade him away.
105:24Because it's like what the Browns did with Jared Verse.
105:27They'd rather have a first than a player than just two firsts.
105:31It just makes them feel better. It's easier for fans.
105:34It's easier for the executives not get fired. We want someone we know is good and a first.
105:39And then you count that player as first. And someone we know is good is supposed to be Ty Simpson?
105:45If he plays well, yeah, that would be nice.
105:48When's he going to play? I don't know. We'll figure that out later.
105:52I feel like I want to pick my quarterback and them telling me who I get to pick.
105:58Well, then you – I don't know. You could trade – well, I don't know.
106:02They don't have any picks, so I don't know.
106:05That's interesting though. That's fascinating. But we'll see what happens.
106:08Again, if the Bengals do really well, I don't think Joe Burrow wants to leave.
106:13But I do think – it's very much to me an NBA situation.
106:17The Bengals did everything Joe Burrow asked because they wanted Joe Burrow to stay.
106:21To be fair, the Bengals are spending money. They signed Jamarchais, Higgins, Gesicki, but like now they're – if they don't get
106:28anywhere now, it's like, well, it's because they do everything the way Joe Burrow wants.
106:33Worst ref call or coach decision of the day.
106:36I have to give this to the referees, to this bizarre Jared Goff backward pass that did not count as a fumble.
106:42Because apparently in the NFL, if a quarterback throws a pass backward, it's a fumble, as we learned with the Zach Charbonnet screen.
106:49Like, it doesn't matter. It's a pass backwards, a fumble, and we all know that.
106:54But apparently, if the quarterback is trying to throw it forward and the defender hits them so goddamn hard that the quarterback
107:01ends up throwing the pass backward, that doesn't count.
107:04Apparently, this has been a rule. I feel like I not only did know this but have never heard of this.
107:10This is the great part about the NFL rulebook is you learn a new rule every week.
107:15Jared Goff threw this pass 20 yards backwards. Like, he got hit.
107:19He was trying to throw it forward. Got hit so hard, he threw it backward.
107:24And the Saints scored a touchdown. The Saints should have won the game because of this play.
107:29And Mike Pereira – I wrote it down because what he said to me was so – not to me.
107:35He said it to everyone on TV. That's like what my parents did.
107:39I mean, technically, he kind of said it to you.
107:42Yeah. But Mike Pereira was like – he started his throwing motion.
107:46This is about Jared Goff. Jared Goff started his throwing motion.
107:49Now a throwing motion is bringing the ball up.
107:52Forget about the hand at this point going forward.
107:55The throwing motion starts, hand going up. Then he gets hit.
107:58Ball comes loose, so his intent was to throw it forward.
108:02And since that motion was started, it's a forward pass no matter where it lands.
108:06What the fuck does – end quote. What do you mean it's a forward pass no matter where it lands?
108:13If it lands backward, it's a backward pass. How is a backward pass a forward pass because you meant to do it?
108:19Yeah, that's what it is. It's – the rule is he meant to throw it forward.
108:24He tried. What the fuck is this rule? Who wrote this?
108:28What was your intention? What do you intend to do with this football?
108:32Who fucking wrote this? It's also just like so funny because like this rule is specifically the throw starts when you – the ball comes up.
108:40The throwing motion is like – But then a fumble is like a fumble versus an incomplete pass is like your hand has to be coming forward.
108:48It's related to the tuck rule, I think, like the idea of a throwing motion.
108:53There are situations you need it. But I feel like I did not know this.
108:57I didn't know it either. You get hit so hard and throw backwards that that doesn't – that one – you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
109:06What the fuck are you talking about? I feel like the NFL rule book is just filled with rules that had to
109:13be created because of one thing that happened one time.
109:16Yes. And they're like, well, we have – we've never seen this before.
109:20We have to make a rule about it. It will come up once every 50 years.
109:25I don't understand. Well, there's a lot of like – I don't even know how to put this.
109:30There's rules and then there's also like a separate book of play instances that teams can use as an example of the enforcement of this rule.
109:38Yeah, the case book. The case book. There's also hundreds of pages.
109:42There's also a case book. I invoke case 24 section B.
109:45There's a reason every ref is like a lawyer.
109:48A fucking lawyer. This is like the public defender.
109:51The Lions or the Saints needed a better public defender on this one.
109:55What's the second most complicated sport? That's a great question.
109:58Probably baseball. Yeah, baseball has a lot going on.
110:01Baseball is – yeah, like a balk is kind of like, man.
110:05It's pretty subjective. But also it's funny. Even the strike zone.
110:08It's like the idea of like, oh, no. Like if you do the automatics, you have to define it.
110:14You have to challenge it quickly enough. You know that thing that's the basis of every moment of baseball, the strike zone?
110:21You're like, yeah. Who knows where that thing is?
110:23Just ask the umps. They're kind of different based on each one.
110:27Okay. We need to do a Lucille Bluth. I don't understand the stat line.
110:31I won't respond to it. I need to do I don't understand this story or this headline.
110:37And I can't respond to it. Did you guys see this guy who got to call plays for Akron?
110:43D1 football program, Akron, let a fan win a raffle to call their plays in their first season.
110:48Like a minor league receiver. I kind of didn't – Wait, like for one quarter?
110:53For one play? Like a few plays in the first drive.
110:56And I saw that this was going on. And I'm not going to lie.
111:01I didn't actually think they would do it. I kind of just thought it was a bit.
111:06Yeah. Why did they do that? They didn't get any money?
111:09Like this was for fun? I think they needed money and attention and they're like – I don't know.
111:15How much money did they get? Wow. What was the raffle?
111:18I don't know, man. When's the last time we talked about Akron?
111:22That's why. And I think they're the worst team in college football 27.
111:26I played with Akron when I started because they're the worst team.
111:30And they clearly are desperate. So they let a fan call the plays in the opening drive.
111:35And they worked with the coaching staff for a few weeks to figure out the plays.
111:40The new Savannah Bananas. But they let them do it.
111:43They had guys out there on stilts. I can't believe that that happened.
111:47And it was funny. Nick Saban video chatted with the guy on college game day and was like, the fans are going to want you to pass.
111:56Just don't run the ball. So the guy runs.
111:58He gets stuffed. And the guy runs. Gets stuck.
112:01It's third and 11. Sack fumble. This fucking fans were in the headset.
112:05He did a run run pass after all that?
112:08Nick Saban told him to. Idiot. I would have called a fucking hook and ladder.
112:13First play of the game. Well, Nick Saban literally says, if you don't listen to me, call Flea Flicker because it'll be cool.
112:20Yeah. Hook and ladder. Flea Flicker. You're. The NCAA has had enough struggles.
112:24This is this is rock bottom. You don't think rock bottom was someone getting cut from the Browns to go into LSU, which in retrospect, great call.
112:32LSU seems way more fun than the Browns. I thought that was rock bottom.
112:36Like Europeans playing college basketball and pros in the NFL going back.
112:40But now it's they're literally pulling fans off the street to call plays for a gimmick to make money.
112:46Dude, the name of the fan that got to call plays.
112:49His name is Marty Wims. Wims. Marty Wims. Who I think was just unfrozen from 1922.
112:54Marty Wims. They're making a documentary about him. What the fuck is it?
112:58I can't. Again, I knew this was happening, but I was like, well, they're not really going to let him do it.
113:05Right. He's like, you're not actually like. I gotta say.
113:08He's preselected. He was there. The school sold more than half of its season tickets in two weeks after the announcement.
113:15And it got more than a billion impressions on social media.
113:18This is a fucking sideshow now. That's what we've become.
113:21Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I mean, they should just do every game.
113:26Marty Wims. He's right. Akron should be the Akron Bananas and they should partner with Savannah and they should just travel around.
113:32And every team they play, they hire. They bring somebody off the street to call the plays.
113:38We did nail the Savannah Bananas for football thing, which is that the kickers need to come out of the tunnel like closers in baseball.
113:45Kickers need songs. I think there should be like light changes, like spotlight on them coming out.
113:51I want them lowered from a wire. Trumpets. Yeah.
113:53Yeah. Exactly. What do we do? Didn't Katy Perry come in on some elephant?
113:58Just do that shit or whatever. Something like that.
114:01Come in in a rhino like Ace Ventura 2.
114:03Crawl out. Exactly. Stuff like that. Yeah. Now you're fucking thinking, Craig.
114:07Something like that. How cool would that be? You know, Evan McPherson crawls out of a literal stuffed Bengal tiger.
114:13That'd be amazing. Just makes it naked. That's real entertainment.
114:16That's good. Yeah. In the past. So sorry for repeating myself, but I think no player in the NFL has a higher
114:23celebration to plays ratio than Mike Kosicki. That's 100%.
114:26He celebrates more than any player in the world.
114:29It's so true. In any sport. Every play that he makes is like a fucking basketball.
114:34It's like in baseball. I don't know if you guys have seen that.
114:38Subnoxious. Or it's like a full fucking production. People are coming in off the sidelines.
114:42They're all dancing together. It's like crazy. Yeah. He'd be good on the Dodgers.
114:47Every time they get a hit, they do the little Freddie Freeman dance.
114:51He's got this whole fucking routine for every fucking play he makes.
114:54Do you think when he doesn't make a play?
114:57What's the number? Is it 80% of his catches?
115:00He's doing something. What do you think? He's doing something.
115:03I don't know. It does feel that way. DK, this is a great call.
115:07That guy won't stop dancing. I'm not even saying.
115:10No, I'm not saying it as like derogatory. I'm just stating a fact.
115:14He celebrates an obscene amount. And it's kind of great, but also kind of annoying.
115:19He's soaking it up. Do you guys think Mike Kosicki's gritty is bad?
115:23Or do you just pretend to think it's bad because other people said it was bad?
115:28No, it's bad. But did you really notice that with your own eyes?
115:32No, it's bad. It's horrific. It's like what I would look like doing a gritty.
115:36I think he's better. He's the gangliest human being in the NFL.
115:40He is. He's really tall and lanky. I did have the thought today.
115:44I'm not kidding. I had this thought. I was like, damn, Justin Jefferson's gritty is really smooth.
115:49It's like second nature to him. Yeah. It's impressive.
115:52He's like, yeah, it's the gritties based on him.
115:55Well, I know. I was stealing it from his friend.
115:58He's like MJ out there. Michael Jackson. Like doing the fucking moonwalk.
116:02He just does it better than anyone else. I was happy to see him getting the opportunity to do it three times today.
116:09Yeah. It was nice. I want to just create a category here called coolest shit of the week.
116:14And I just want to do it between two Washington plays.
116:18One where Sonny Stiles, the linebacker at Ohio State for Washington, just destroyed Saquon Barkley.
116:22The hardest I've ever seen Saquon get hit. And then he sacked Jalen Hurts in like the same play.
116:28Sonny Stiles looks awesome. He ran through Saquon. Crazy.
116:31He looks very good. Yeah. And then the same game, Washington had the greatest special teams rep of all time by Tyler
116:38Owens, who was, you know, when the punt gunners go one versus the two guys in defense.
116:43And he somehow outran both the guys. No, not only that.
116:47He stiff armed both of them to the ground.
116:49Beat the shit out of them. And then he like stomped over them.
116:53He punched both of them in the face to the ground, then jumped over them, and then tackled, and then suplexed the punt returner.
117:01He picked him up and like jumped on him.
117:04He beat the shit out of three people on this play.
117:07That those two defenders guarding him were fans that paid to do that in the raffle.
117:12Marty Quims. Craig, who are the names of these fans?
117:15Washington needs a little extra juice. And so they thought, whatever.
117:18They're on a gunner. Who cares? No one even watches fucking special teams.
117:22I think the Steelers should make Darnell Washington a gunner just for a play.
117:27Yeah, it'd be like a rail gun. That would just be like just cutting people in half.
117:32I added a category here without telling you guys.
117:35The Cloyce Box Award for Random Stat that Leads You Down to Wikipedia Rabbit Hole.
117:39Hmm. Okay. The Chicago Bears had six rushing touchdowns in week one, tied with the week one record with the 1920 Detroit
117:46Heralds, the 1920 Rock Island Independents, and the 1922 Canton Bulldogs.
117:50Hell yes. I know where this is going. And I wanted to just read you some names from these people.
117:56Tied with this. So we have the 1920 Detroit Heralds.
117:59We have the 1920 Rock Island Independents. Yes. Where's Rock Island?
118:02I believe it's in Lake Michigan. I don't know, actually.
118:05It's somewhere near Chicago. I believe it's an old, old wooden ship.
118:09I don't know. All these places are near Chicago.
118:12So the quarterback for the 1920 Detroit Heralds was named Steamer Horning.
118:16Steamer. That's pretty good. That's Steamer. What's his last name?
118:19Horning. Horning. Steamer. Steamer. His dad invented a steam engine, I think.
118:22Steamer was named a first-team All-American by Walter Camp, who invented football.
118:26Steamer. Walter Camp said, that guy's All-American. Did Steamer ever play for a team in Cleveland?
118:31No, but he drafted. Funny. But he's drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates in baseball.
118:35Oh, come on. Yeah, come on, TK. Greg gets offended at the weirdest stuff.
118:40TK, we're two hours in. Have some class, all right?
118:43It's two in the morning. Have some class. Okay, continue.
118:46The Rock Island Independence. Mm-hmm. Can I read you their opponents from that season in 1920?
118:51Please do. Week one, the St. Paul Ideals. Yeah.
118:54The St. Paul Ideals. Okay. Week two, the Muncie Flyers.
118:57Muncie? Muncie. Okay. Week three, the Hammond Pros. Yeah.
119:00It's remarkable that the stats for these games have made it 100 years.
119:04Dude, it's insane. Because it was just one dude writing this stuff down, right?
119:08There's one guy in the stands writing it down on a piece of paper.
119:12A hundred years ago, we still got it. Sam whatever.
119:15Sam whatever. Dude, there was a team. It's older.
119:18It's older. And it's still, we have it. We didn't lose it in the great flood of 1917.
119:24No, we wrote it down and we still have all that.
119:27We're hauling it into a newspaper. Right. Yeah. Thorn Tornadoes.
119:30Oh, yeah. And of course, the Dayton Triangles. We've talked about the triangles.
119:34Yeah. I have a Triangles t-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. What's the shape of it?
119:38Fuck. That's a good point. Another one for the Rock Island Independence was Mickey Hole.
119:43How are we spelling hole? No. H-O-L-E. Okay. Mickey Hole.
119:46Hole. I don't know why that's really good. Mickey Hole of the Rock Island Independence.
119:51Hey, I'm going out tonight, Dad. I'm dating this new guy.
119:54What's his name? Mick Hole. Mick Hole. Don't worry.
119:57He plays for the Rock Island Independence. He's a good guy.
120:00His name is Michael Hole. Yeah. The Canton Bulldogs had a player named Norb Sackstraeter.
120:05Come on. This is like fucking. This is like Mad Libs for names.
120:09Norb Sackstraeter. Yeah, Norb. Norb. What is Norb short for?
120:12Norb. I wanted to talk to you guys about this.
120:15Norb. Norb. Norbert. Norbert. Oh, Norbert. Yeah. Norb Sackstraeter.
120:18Isn't Norb a movie? Yes. Norb. 2007 film. Yeah.
120:21There's also Wookiee Roberts and Candy Miller. Candy. Candy's good.
120:24That's good. But Norb. Norb. My favorite. Norb. Norb.
120:26Norb. Saxton. Saxton. I do. Mickey. Mick hole is a good one.
120:30Mickey. All right. Should we get to two players who outscored Kyle Pitts at a lie?
120:35Sure. So we're back. Cooper Rush. Tough game for the Falcons.
120:39God. Can you just say everyone? When we invented Kyle Pitts and two players who outscored Kyle Pitts in a lie four
120:45years ago, I don't think any of us thought it would still be going, but here we are.
120:51Blake White. So two players outscored Kyle Pitts at a lie.
120:54Blake White Hart. Jake Brendel. Colston Loveland. Is this a trick question?
120:58It's a trick. I believe Kyle Pitts had zero points and I know Colston Loveland had zero points.
121:04So it's between two people who I genuinely have never heard of.
121:07Blake White Hart. Blake White Hart. He played for the Dayton Triangles in 1917.
121:12And Jake Brendel. I don't know. I'll go with White Hart.
121:15Yeah. Jake and wait, are we picking one or two?
121:18Oh, it's two. Okay. It's Blake and Jake. Yeah.
121:21Blake and Jake. So they had more than zero points.
121:24So Blake. Blake White Hart is a tight end for the Browns.
121:28Jake Brendel is an offensive lineman for the 49ers.
121:30He's the one who caught the pass. He's the one who caught the pass.
121:35In the Rams Niners game. Okay. And he had a catch.
121:38Unlike Kyle Pitts this week. So this is a nice segue into the burn book, which if you're here for the first
121:45time, we have a burn book of all the players who have burned us each year.
121:50And every week we put one person into the book, just like in Mean Girls.
121:55And we never revisit them again. They're dead to us for the season.
121:59For whatever reason, they're dead to us. Week one now.
122:02I love. Week one's always interesting because it's like, how much do you want to overreact?
122:07We usually like to say injuries are not a reason to burn somebody.
122:11But for rare cases, they can be. And I would like to nominate A.J.
122:15Brown. It was like the whole dead dove do not eat thing.
122:19I think it absolutely has to be A.J. Brown.
122:22It's not his fault. He got rolled up on.
122:24But now he has a high ankle. He's on IR.
122:27And now there's reports like it's not even going to be four weeks.
122:31It might be six. It'll probably be about six weeks.
122:34Yeah. And it's more annoying because A.J. Brown, he actually looked really good for two of the catches.
122:40And then. Craig called him a Mustang. You know.
122:43Craig texted when I think A.J. Brown's first catch, he goes, he's a Mustang.
122:47He caught some ball in the flat. He looked like Devin Singletary out there.
122:52He looked amazing. God. Anybody? Any other nominations? I know it's good to do an injured person.
122:57No. That's. That's. I mean, it's the correct answer.
123:00It makes more sense. It's 100% the correct answer.
123:02What about Kyle Pitts? He's at zero points. I mean.
123:05The book is named after Kyle Pitts. This is the Kyle Pitts burn book.
123:10Who are you more mad at? If you drafted Kyle Pitts.
123:13Myself. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you drafted.
123:17If I fucking started Kyle Pitts. I did start Kyle Pitts in a league or two.
123:22You did? With Cooper Rush? Well, like, like mathematically DK starts every player in the NFL across all of his leagues.
123:28Right. That's true. Across the 40. He's basically. He's a multiverse.
123:31Really? A little bit of everyone. You know? 40 leagues.
123:34DK is a multiverse. I think people are more mad at AJ Brown.
123:39I think AJ Brown's not even close. It has to be AJ Brown.
123:43Literally, it's such a fuck. Also, the fact that it's like the first game of the season.
123:48I am. It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. And you're like, my second round pick is sucks.
123:53And it's over. And it's done. I drafted Saquon Barkley this year.
123:57And I feel fucking horrible about it. And I just.
124:00I don't know why. I don't want to be a part of the Eagles.
124:04I know they even played well today, kind of.
124:07And it hurts. But I just hate. I hate being a part of the Eagles offense.
124:12Great. I think it's miserable. It was such an Eagles game.
124:15Swiss texting us like right. Like early in the game about how fucking Saquon is limping.
124:20He was. He's like, I fucking hate. I hate.
124:23I hate it because. Because. Because the box score doesn't do it justice.
124:27They had basically three good plays. And hurts made great throws.
124:30And I'll give those to him. Outside of that, the second half, they had.
124:35Three. Four of their drives were three and outs and a punt.
124:39They couldn't get any yardage. They can't run the ball.
124:42Devontae Smith didn't do anything. They can't. It was basically like three seam passes to Dallas Goddard and a deep ball to Dontavian Wicks.
124:49And otherwise, the offense is anemic. And Devontae Smith had like one great play.
124:53And like. But you're right. It was like five great plays in the passing game.
124:58And just. It's like dragging. Exactly what it was before.
125:01Wagon through the mud. And I hate it. Why do we not listen to ourselves and just be like, when we hate
125:08a team, just don't take players in the team.
125:11Why don't we just do that? Because the problem is.
125:14Saquon was sitting there for a price that I thought was reasonable.
125:17And I needed a running back. And sometimes you got to do that.
125:21It's different in Snake. When you're doing auction. It's like.
125:25If it's there and it's a good value, you do it.
125:28And then you're like. Why did I. And then the season starts.
125:32And you forget how much you paid. And then he's.
125:35Yeah. It's just. I'm sure Saquon will be fine.
125:38He better be. Offensive line looks like shit. Okay.
125:40AJ Brown, you're in the burn book. Did you see the interview.
125:44They asked Jordan Mailata. About the Australia thing. Did you see that?
125:48No. What did he say? Oh. He was like.
125:51You got to fly. You got to do what the Niners did.
125:54Are you kidding me? The person that. He's like.
125:57You can't go the day before. That's insane. Can we?
126:00Yeah. Can we. We got to talk about this some more.
126:04Like that was the dumbest idea ever. The person that I.
126:07The day before. Do you know who said it was stupid?
126:10He's like. He's like. He's like. But you know the person who said it was stupid that I can't believe we didn't think to talk about this before.
126:19John McEnroe. I was watching the US Open. And.
126:22It was a fun US Open and John McEnroe because they have the Australian Open.
126:26And John McEnroe was like. Yeah. That's insane. You can't do that.
126:30Your body's like. We'll never adjust. He's like. It's hard for me to go as an announcer.
126:35Yeah. He probably did it for 15 years. How many fucking thousands of fucking athletes have flown to Australia?
126:41Forgot. Why are they saying. Why is the Rams.
126:44Why do the Rams are just like. Oh. We'll send 15 staffers.
126:48Yeah. To Australia and see how they feel. I have to say.
126:51It is very funny to me in retrospect. Being like.
126:55They sending. Yeah. Sending 15 staffers and trying to do their own little study.
126:59And I'm like. If you just talk to the tennis players.
127:02They probably would have been like. Don't do that.
127:05Talk to any of the thousands and thousands and thousands of athletes that have flown to Australia in history.
127:11It's the drafting Ty Simpson of flight plans. Right.
127:14It's just like galaxy brain. Yeah. You know. You know the meme of the guy with the brain that comes out of
127:21his head and then like he's like sitting on his brain like it's a recliner.
127:25Yeah. Like that. That's this plan. Just show up right on time.
127:29Show up right before. If you stay on L.A.
127:32I just love that every person who's actually had like real life experience going to and from Australia is like no.
127:38Absolutely not. Have you flown 15 hours before? Also apparently.
127:41Qantas is trying to get rid of this plane.
127:44I heard like some like one off thing about how like Qantas doesn't even want this plane.
127:49The three eight. The A380. That's because they're so embarrassed by what happened.
127:53So like we can't be associated with that. The cutting point anymore.
127:57Yeah. It's not even a thing. Craig, do you want to tell us what this Toronto Film Festival before we leave?
128:04It's been really fun. I've really enjoyed Toronto. This is only I've only other I've only been to Sundance.
128:09It's the only film festival I've been to. So now this is number two and it's very different.
128:15These are much more like commercial movies. Tiff. It's a much more like kind of populist film festival.
128:21It's more like audience friendly stuff. And I saw a movie today this morning that I thought was going to stink to be honest.
128:28And we saw a trailer for it at CinemaCon, which is like where they tease movies coming out this year in Vegas in April.
128:35It's a movie called I Play Rocky. And it is about the story of Rocky.
128:40I sold a preview for this. Yes. It's about the making of Rocky.
128:44The movie. It's a narrative movie, like a normal movie about a guy who plays Sylvester Stallone trying to get the movie Rocky made.
128:51And he's doing the whole like Sylvester Stallone accent.
128:54And I was like, this is going to blow.
128:57I'm sorry. It is. I mean, he's doing it.
129:00Okay. Peter Farrelly directed it. DK, your guy. Oh, wow.
129:03Yeah. Yeah. It was great. One of the Farrelly brothers.
129:06Gangbusters. I think it's going to win the audience award at TIFF.
129:10Is it better than Rocky? It's not better than Rocky.
129:13Can you do that Stallone voice again? Sylvester Stallone.
129:16I don't know. And it's so deep. I've never met Eddie when he talks like that.
129:21Well, he is like a paralyzed side of his mouth.
129:24Oh, that makes more sense. Now I feel bad.
129:26You should. He's struggling, Sylvester Stallone. He's had a tough life.
129:30I'm just kidding. He's super famous and has a kajillion dollars.
129:33And it really worked out. You should watch the movie.
129:36You'll see. But the movie's great. It premiered last night.
129:39It played again today. And it was like standing ovation.
129:42Everybody loved it. The kid who plays Stallone is like amazing.
129:46It's really funny. It's like really heartwarming. I think everybody who watches it is going to love it.
129:51I thought the preview looked pretty good. It's funny that you thought it looked like Dog Show.
129:57Maybe I watched a different one. Well, I just thought it looked really cheesy.
130:01I was like, oh, this is like a real, like it's almost like a lifetime type thing.
130:06And it was not that at all. It was really well done.
130:10The script was awesome. It was really funny. All the actors were great.
130:14It's very good. Who else was in that? Someone else like relative.
130:18Was like Jason Lee in that or something like that?
130:21Jay Duplass is in it. Oh, okay. Maybe that's blanking on somebody.
130:25Hold on. I'm going to pull it up. Oh, Matt Dillon.
130:28Oh, yeah. Matt Dillon plays his dad, but he's a small role.
130:32He's really good. Interesting. But yeah, I recommend it.
130:34I think there's a chance it gets Oscar buzz.
130:37Okay. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Austin.
130:40Thank you, Nikhil. Thank you, Cam. Thank you everyone for listening.
130:44Email us at ringfantasyfootball.gmail.com. We got trivia questions. We want fantasy courts for power.
130:48Oh, God. I'm hiccuping. Power hour. It's late. Fantasy courts.
130:51And what was the other thing we asked for?
130:54The word for when you check the 59 bear, the bear scoring 59 points box score and you see that your player had zero catches.
131:02Thank you, Lord. Lord. Craig, do you want it or do you want me to take it?
131:07I'm always packing, so you just let me know.
131:10You can take it tonight. All right. Take me home tonight.
131:13Eddie Money, 1986. Oh, my God. Eddie Money. I think Eddie Money is the most Sadie's name.
131:18Eddie Money is the best. This was on my list.
131:21This was on my list. One of the top.
131:24I don't even know what to call it, but like there is a I want to say there is a moment in
131:31the video because there's there's some hard saxophoning in this song.
131:34Yeah, dude. Totally. So glad you said that. There's a moment in this in the video.
131:39I'm remembering this from like 30 years ago. So if I'm wrong, I made it up.
131:44But whatever. Where he plays air guitar on a saxophone.
131:47Like he has a saxophone. He starts like air guitaring it.
131:51That's awesome. And I'm like, there's nothing more 80s than that.
131:54This song, it has everything you want. It's got sax.
131:57It's got a breathy woman saying, be my little baby.
132:00It's got power chords. His name is Eddie Money.
132:03His name is Eddie Money. Eddie Money. Can I tell you guys something?
132:07I feel like I could have gone through the world named Eddie Money.
132:11I feel like I could be on the show named Eddie Money.
132:15I feel like Anthony DeBundo should change his name to Eddie Money.
132:19Yeah, we should just call Eddie Money. Tony Money?
132:21Tony Money? Yeah. Eddie Money. Is Eddie Money alive?
132:24Eddie Money? No, he's RIP. 2019. Did he die?
132:27Yeah. Pre-COVID is better. He shouldn't see what the world has become.
132:31He was 70. Oh, fuck. Okay, now I feel bad.
132:34Shit. Eddie Money, I wish you were still with us.
132:37Eddie Money is... This is a great one. It's my favorite.
132:40If I could have another name, I would do Eddie Money.
132:44I was listening to this in my hotel room alone, like in the morning after I shower.
132:49Getting ready. Getting ready. Listening to take me home tonight.
132:52Fucking pre-funk. Getting noise complaints on the road. Yeah.
132:55What do you guys call pre-funking again? You guys call it something different.
132:59Pre-gaming. Pre-gaming. Yeah, yeah. It's the oldest thing about you.
133:02I've never even heard that phrase. You call it pre-funking?
133:05Were you not here for this conversation? I'm sorry for saying something that my friends and I said back in the day.
133:12Apology accepted. We did this. But you're talking about like function, like going to the function pre-funk?
133:17Yeah. But remember that... Craig, you don't remember this conversation pre-funk?
133:21Pre-funking in our context was before the party, you like get drunk.
133:24Before we... And then you go to the party.
133:27Yeah. No, but we did this and it turned out to be a actual Seattle specific regional slang.
133:33Oh, that's right. Tied to a bar in Seattle.
133:35A specific bar in the 80s was like the origin of this term.
133:39Was the bar called the function? Or the funk?
133:42God, we just... Why does your shirt say cat?
133:45Oh, I believe it's short for Caterpillar, which is what Heifetz is going to turn into in our ringer league when he loses.
133:52How'd you do it? How'd you do today? I had Bryce Young and I fucking just...
133:57I'm going to beat Joe House. That's right. I need Jalen Waddell to just not lose to Quillen Sutton by lot.
134:03Dude, you having Bryce Young, who's like the QB3, is fucking unbelievable.
134:07It's actually good because now I don't feel bad about dropping one to two of my quarterbacks that I don't need.
134:14I lost to Sal by six and I feel horrible.
134:17As I said, I'll be fine. Bryce Young at 31.
134:20Thank God you guys took 26 quarterbacks ahead of me so Bryce Young could follow me.
134:25Look, it was funny, okay? I'm going to be in dead last again.
134:29I'm the lowest scoring team and I lost. So, I don't know.
134:33Are you serious? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, everybody fucking blew it.
134:36Drake may be like shit. My team might be a wagon.
134:40I took down the BS Express today. That's weird.
134:42James. Oh my God. Oh my God, Craig. I have Derek Henry.
134:46No big deal. Bangkok Craig needs some help. Bangkok Craig.
134:49Bench Jalen Coker. Can you explain to me why?
134:52For Luther Burden. Why are you Bangkok Craig again?
134:55Didn't they just think you would like Bangkok a lot?
134:58Because we did the... I'll tell you. We did the rewatchables on the movie American Gangster.
135:03Yeah, yeah. Which I've never seen. We watched that together, yeah.
135:06That's right. I was during Corwick. That's correct. And during the film, there are multiple scenes in Bangkok that look electric.
135:13And I was talking about that on the pod.
135:16And we kind of crafted an alter ego of Bangkok Craig that I'm really not embodying in my fantasy season, unfortunately.
135:22It hasn't quite worked out for you yet. I sat Jalen Coker, so we'll get there.
135:27That's tough. That's tough. Eddie Money. Eddie Money Goat.
135:30Take me home tonight. I don't want to let you go to see the light.
135:34He's just got the saxophone. He's just holding it above his head.
135:38Be my little baby. He's dancing like Mike Kosicki up there.
135:42He's grating. Yeah, seriously. I'm having to be quiet because it's 1.55 a.m.
135:46in a hotel room in Toronto on a Sunday, so I'm so far so good, though.
135:50Yeah. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18
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136:13For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867.