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0:41Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Heifetz and I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck.
0:48And today we are going over all the must add players.
0:51After week one, entering week two, we're going to go through trivia style.
0:55Trivia's back, baby. DK, you excited? I cannot wait.
0:58This is the best thing that we do because it makes us look like absolute morons.
1:03How much does a cloud weigh? Zero is what I would say.
1:07You'd think that we look like morons enough trying to get fantasy football advice and we thought, no, let's raise the ante
1:13and answer questions about literally any subject in the world.
1:17So we're going to go through that. And again, your draft is like kind of the beginning of the season, but realistically,
1:23like titles can be won on waivers sometimes. It just goes like that sometimes.
1:28So we're going to help you figure it out.
1:30That's what I'm telling myself. Yikes. Yeah, you're not doing great.
1:34You all right there, bud? Coker. Coker's in a boot.
1:37God. We're going to go through waivers, but first we're going to take a conveniently timed advertising break.
1:43This episode is presented by Verizon. Let me tell you all about Verizon's new simplicity plan.
1:47You get one plan, one price, just $30 a line per month, even for a single line.
1:53So while everyone is running four trade analyzers before offering a backup tight end, Verizon said one plan, one price.
1:59Sometimes the simplest move is the best one, like the simplicity plan.
2:03Head to Verizon.com today for new customers who switched to Verizon, $30 per line includes auto pay and switch discount.
2:09Additional taxes, fees and terms apply. Do you guys think that it's better to have a good long season or to just
2:16feel good about your team after one week? That like feeling like the depths of despair I feel about some of my
2:22teams after one week is arguably worse than just like not winning a championship.
2:27I have a remarkable tendency to begin every season one in three.
2:30It's like a thing in my league. And then I claw back every year, but I'm always one in three.
2:37It's so depressing. Something about the nature of winning.
2:39This is going to sound like a brag, but it's not.
2:43It's the disease of the mind. Okay. That Traders Alley League.
2:46And I like you think I'd be happy. I've won that league three of four years.
2:51Because I think I think about taking Matthew Golden over Luther Burden 12 times more often than I think about winning the league.
2:58Yeah. I literally just get depressed that I don't have Luther Burden.
3:02And I have to remind myself that I actually am the reigning champion.
3:06You're actually literally too busy winning. And I actually, the championship does not offset.
3:10I actually have to manually remind myself that I won the league because I just get really sad every time you see Matthew Golden.
3:18That's torture. People are weird. My thing with what I was talking about is when I, after all the buildup, all the
3:24offseason, the draft, you feel so good. You're like roster baiting to your team.
3:29It feels so good. Like your team is awesome.
3:32And then the actual football hits in week one and your team is absolute dog shit.
3:36I don't know if there's anything worse. That's like I just fucking wasted the entire summer.
3:41You guys, I do a thing. I have like a weird superstition that doesn't work.
3:46It's more just like a fear or it's like, it's like living in ignorant bliss where I don't check the score of
3:53my fantasy matchup until after the morning games. Oh, I do the same thing.
3:57Yeah. I have a time. I do it at halftime of the first slate.
4:01Because I just want to live it with the idea that maybe I'm winning.
4:06The first, the first half of the first, are we, is this in the show?
4:10This is not a show, right? Or is it?
4:13Maybe. I just wanted to ask that. I don't know.
4:16The first half, I think it's very dangerous to check your teams because you'll start panicking of all the zeros.
4:22And sometimes it's like they didn't have the ball yet.
4:26You know what I mean? Sometimes it'll be like the second quarter and like they've had one drive.
4:31It's fine. There's just nothing worse than it's like 1145 Pacific.
4:35And I check my matchup and I'm down like 45 to 11.
4:38And I'm like, well, my whole day's ruined. So I just don't check.
4:42Yeah. That's smart, honestly. Anyway, we can do the waivers now.
4:46Should we come back in? I think we keep that.
4:49I think we're in. I think, yeah, sure. All right.
4:52There you go. There's a window. There you go.
4:55Okay. So let's get into waivers now. So here's how this works.
4:58We're going to go position by position. And we're just going to give our top pick to add off of waivers from that position.
5:06So our top running back, our top receiver, our top tight end, et cetera.
5:10But only one of us gets the player like waivers in your league.
5:14So we're going to do a little trivia tiebreaker to see who gets the player.
5:19And the losers have to pick somebody else. So it's not that complicated.
5:23You will figure it out as we go along.
5:25I promise. Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com.
5:29If you want to send us trivia, it has to be some kind of amount.
5:33The answer so we can be wrong in order closest to the pin style.
5:38So email us ringer fantasy football gmail.com for trivia.
5:40And also fantasy courts if you want those two.
5:43So email us those. Without further ado, DK, Danny Kelly.
5:46Yeah. Dark Knight. Who's your number one running back to add after week one?
5:51And why is it Caelan Black for the 49ers?
5:53It is Kaelan Black for the 49ers because he played 43% of the snaps, had 14 carries for 65 yards.
5:59And importantly, he looked pretty good doing it. I think there was a much more dramatic split between Caelan Black and Christian
6:06McCaffrey in week one than anyone was expecting. So this is something to monitor.
6:11I don't know if it's going to last forever.
6:13Maybe it was just that, you know, after the game, Cal Shannon said that Christian McCaffrey was having cramps during the game.
6:20So that might have contributed to this. I think it's probably more likely that we're just going to see a bigger split
6:27this year because they want to give Christian McCaffrey a break and not give him like 400 touches.
6:33So I think Caelan Black is the number one pickup on the waiver wire this week.
6:37I agree. He's the only guy I would actually consider dropping somebody on my team for at the running back position this week.
6:45Yeah. Completely agree. Because it's the outtouch McCaffrey, even assuming McCaffrey, it was just cramps.
6:49I think Kyle Shanahan usually red shirts these rookies.
6:52Yeah, I touched him on the ground, not if you add in catches, but yes.
6:57Fair enough. Yeah, he got more carries. Good point.
6:59But the fact that it's the combination of there's a chance Kaelan Black just plays decently, like an amount, and even if
7:06he doesn't play, that if Christian McCaffrey gets hurt after leading the NFL on touches last season, it seems like Kaelan Black would be the lead guy.
7:15Maybe it's just because Jordan James broke his ribs.
7:17But I think when there's a Niners running back that comes out of nowhere that might just get playing time, I think you have to add them.
7:26So I think it's Caelan Black. And he looks good.
7:29He looked good. I don't think he has any elite trait, but he just seems competent.
7:34He can run uphill, and he seems to know how to set up blocks, which frankly is a lot of working in
7:40Kyle Shanahan's system is being decisive and knowing how to actually set up blocks when there was well blocked.
7:46And so I thought he did what his job was, and he got the yards that they was blocked for him, which is kind of the whole thing.
7:55Also, they play Miami next week, so there's a chance.
7:58Honestly, he plays garbage time next week versus Miami anyway.
8:01So I think there's a huge gap between him and anyone else.
8:05I totally agree. Yeah. All right. So is it...
8:08Oh, yeah. Is it time? I almost forgot. It's been so long.
8:11I feel caught naked right now. I have to kind of get back into the swing of things.
8:17All right. Week two waivers. It's time to get things going.
8:20The trivia showdown is here. It is time for the Kalen Black showdown time.
8:25There it is. There's the old gong. Bang. Okay.
8:27So for trivia, we're going to keep track of trivia.
8:30Yes. We don't have... Do we have anything for the end of this season?
8:35Winners, losers, no punishments, no rewards. Is that accurate?
8:38That's what we've always done. We'll come up with something.
8:41We can think of one now. Yeah. Well, maybe you have to eat 76 hot dogs in a week or something if you get last.
8:48Well, I know you won't do that. Yeah. No.
8:51That's a reasonable punishment. You're right. If we could draft our punishments, it would be reasonable.
8:56This is why I was like, we don't need a punishment.
9:00This was a large... This was a large... I think reward over punishment.
9:04Sure. Last in trivia, whatever. If you get first in trivia, it's the hardest thing in the world to do is ever
9:10see your name next to first in trivia. If you go to a bar, you're going up against pros.
9:16I haven't gotten better than fifth at a trivia night.
9:19It's hard out there. So if you win, maybe the other two will get you a gift card.
9:25I don't know. There we go. Email us ideas for rewards and or punishments for trivia.
9:30Who won last year? Craig? I don't know. Me or Heifetz, I think.
9:34So it wasn't me, is what you're saying. Also, that is what I remember as well.
9:39You did not win. Heifetz and I, I think, were like neck and neck in the final week.
9:44Yeah, yeah. I don't think I won, but I don't think you won either, DK.
9:49Anyway. Yeah, showdown time. So this is the Kaelan Black showdown time.
9:53That's right. This is important considering how thin running back is this week.
9:57Once again, running backs didn't get hurt. Knock on wood.
10:00Who cares? Maybe that really was what it's all about, is running backs will never get hurt ever again.
10:06Okay. This email is from David. Debo. Debo. What do you got, Dave?
10:10It's about 80s music. Nice. Oh, shit. Debo says breakfast, a banana with peanut butter, black tea with oat milk.
10:16Oh. So David's trivia question. Michael Jackson's Thriller album came out in November of 1982.
10:20And not only was Thriller the best-selling album of the 80s, Thriller is the number one selling album of all time.
10:27How many copies of Thriller have been sold worldwide as of August 2026?
10:31Oh, I never know the music numbers like that when it's like how many albums get sold.
10:36For some reason, there's not like a range that's in my head that I can go to.
10:41Hmm. All right. I guess I'm ready. Yeah. Sure.
10:44Are we all saying at the same time? Yes.
10:47I have no idea how to answer this question.
10:50Well, that's the idea. That's the beauty of it.
10:53How many? Three, two, one. 70 million. 50 million.
10:55Oh, I went low. I thought I was going to be high.
10:59I went 20 million. Craig went 50. Heifetz went 70.
11:02In retrospect, 70 is too high. Craig, it's funny you said 50 because I was also thinking about 50.
11:08And then I pivoted to 70. What's the answer?
11:11It'll be slower this year. I don't want to be accused of cheating.
11:15You're still kidding. The answer is... Oh, fuck. Okay.
11:18I didn't look. It's 70 million, isn't it? It's 70 exactly.
11:21It is 70 exactly. It's 70 exactly? That looks bad.
11:24Fuck you. I don't want to be accused of cheating, he says, right before getting it exactly right.
11:30This motherfucker. That looks bad, I'll admit. It's like the Robert Pattinson meme.
11:34You know how this looks, right? I have the best fucking attorneys.
11:37I'll admit that looks bad. I see a Reddit thread that says that the numbers have been updated and it's now over 100 million.
11:45Either way, you win. But cool. Well, that was awkward.
11:48Do you think it's weird that Michael Jackson, or at least his estate or whatever, owns like almost all the Beatles IP?
11:55Isn't that wild? They do? I want to say he owns a lot of the Beatles IP.
12:00I don't think I knew that. How did that happen?
12:03He bought it. He just bought it? I would say he bought it in 1985?
12:08Let's see. Michael Jackson purchased the publishing rights to 251 Beatles songs for $47 million in 85.
12:13That's a lot in 85. Wait, Paul McCartney told Michael Jackson to invest in music and then he outbid Paul McCartney for Paul McCartney's music?
12:21Ruthless. Ruthless business. Oh my God. Wow. That's pretty brutal.
12:24Damn. It's kind of like the original Scooter Braun Taylor Swift.
12:27Right. Well, Sony owns it now. Sony bought it in 2016.
12:30Okay. It's also two. Isn't there like publishing rights?
12:33And there's also there's two types of rights for music, right?
12:37Yeah. There might be three. Is there three? It's really complicated.
12:40I think because there's the. Yeah. You know what?
12:43We're not going to just guess. But if anyone wants to explain publishing rights or music to us, you can email us.
12:50Okay. So what? So I get Kaelin Black. So yeah, you guys are screwed.
12:54So Craig, you're second. You get somebody else. God.
12:57Names I'm thinking of. Tyler Algier for the Cardinals who had like 17 carries.
13:01Mike Washington on the Raiders who's insurance for Gentie.
13:04Keith Mitchell. If you still want to believe in the Chargers, maybe Chris Rodriguez for for the Jags.
13:09I will take. I actually kind of feel like Algier is low ceiling.
13:13I'd probably shoot for like a ceiling play and I guess take a shot still on somebody like Keith Mitchell and bet that the Chargers could bounce back.
13:22I'll take Keith Mitchell. I like that one. But we all are agreement that like realistically Keith Mitchell and these guys are
13:29kind of below the cut line of anyone you drafted.
13:32That's healthy. We're probably not cutting anyone. No. 12 team league.
13:35I agree. I agree. For the purposes of this exercise, we have to take somebody, but I would only take Kaelin Black.
13:42But I'll take. I'll take Keith Mitchell as the number two.
13:45I'll go. I'll go with Algier. Just with the idea of the Cardinals offense might be a little bit better than everyone
13:52is expecting and there's going to be a split between the two of them.
13:57The other guy that I want to mention here just as kind of like throw it out there as a stash type player.
14:04If you have a spot on your roster, Devin Singletary for the Giants, who I mean, look, Tyron Tracy had another fumble
14:10in this game after having a horrific preseason. Yeah, he's going to Siberia.
14:15There's a chance that Tyron Tracy is going to play for the for the Giants anymore.
14:19And we saw what the Giants can do in the run game last night.
14:24Camp Scataboo, you know, the Greg Roman run offense with what they do with Jackson Dart.
14:29I just think there's a chance that the Giants run offense is a lot better this season than we expected or whatever predicted.
14:36And so Devin Singletary feels like an OK guy to stash in the in the off chance that Scataboo gets hurt.
14:42Yeah. The only other name I want to throw out just because it hasn't come up is Seth McGowan, who's the backup
14:49running back for the Colts, because the Colts, they actually only had two running backs active this week, which means they have a lot of confidence.
14:57So it's John Taylor, who they're not taking off the field and Seth McGowan, which I think roughly translates to if Jonathan Taylor gets hurt.
15:05I think Seth McGowan is actually a three down backup, kind of like Tank Bigsby.
15:09But honestly, the Colts are running the ball better than the Eagles.
15:13So I just wanted to throw that out because we don't always do like, you know, want the backup to your running
15:20back because it's kind of better to have the backup to other people's running backs, because then if their team gets hurt,
15:27then your team gets stronger and there's get weaker.
15:30Having said that, I don't know, it's kind of lame.
15:33The older I get, the more I'm like, it's kind of nice to just have your own insurance policy.
15:39So if you have Jonathan Taylor in a deeper league, you could add Seth McGowan as your handcuff.
15:44Only if you know that if your guy gets hurt, that this backup will get the majority of the touches.
15:50Like I, like I have Saquon in my home league.
15:53I drafted Tank Bigsby because I think Bigsby would get like 80% of the work Saquon did.
15:59If it's like a, your backup would only get half the carries the starter would, maybe not worth rostering.
16:04It's suboptimal on a spreadsheet level to have your own backup, but it is emotionally invaluable.
16:09Yeah. You know what else is that if Saquon's hurt, you have the backup.
16:14You know what else is suboptimal? Taking Josh Allen in the third round, everybody, but everybody who took Josh Allen in the third round won this week.
16:22Just thrilled. Just absolutely thrilled. So yeah, if you have John Taylor, Seth McGowan, if you have Saquon, you can get Tank Bigsby.
16:29And honestly, even if you have Derrick Henry, Justice Hill, I think those are reasonable 12, 14 team leagues.
16:35If you want, you don't have to though. Okay.
16:38Wide receiver. DK, who's your number one receiver at after week, after week one entering week two.
16:43I'm going to go with Devon Bailey of the saints played the most snaps of any receiver on the saints last on Sunday.
16:50And also the saints run a ton of plays.
16:53They had like 81 offensive plays. He had seven catches for 69 yards and a touchdown, including a couple of nice diving
17:00catches or at least very difficult catches. So I think he's a good player who has established himself as the number two on that offense.
17:07And I would, he'd be the type of guy I could even plug into my lineup next week and feel pretty good about it.
17:15I agree. I have Valey as well. He was 17th among all wide receivers and expected fantasy points.
17:20He ran a career high in routes. We talked about them as just like a funnel offense with a lava with him and with John Johnson.
17:28So until Jordan Tyson comes back, Valey, he was doing it the final month of the season in 2025.
17:34And he seems to be doing it again. And now I would, I would, he's my number one pick as well.
17:41Completely agree. And I also think that at receiver, this is also, Devon Valey is the only player I would maybe consider cutting someone on my roster.
17:49Again, I don't know who's on your roster. I don't know how big your league is, et cetera, et cetera.
17:55But Valey is the only person I would probably consider cutting for my teams.
18:00The other receiver is available. It's week one. No one's desperate yet.
18:03Like this is another position where it's like there's one guy and then the, I don't know.
18:09I think I agree with you. I think it's a little deeper wide receiver.
18:13It always is. But I agree. I think Valey is the only guy I would cut somebody for.
18:18And like DK said, I would maybe even consider starting Valey.
18:22Yeah. Okay. All right. We find ourselves back here again.
18:25It's time for the Devon Valey showdown time. This is from Austin.
18:29A bone. Austin Gale. Is this R Austin? Not to my knowledge.
18:32Okay. This is breakfast was a scramble bowl consisting of scrambled eggs, chorizo, roasted potatoes, chipotle sauce, cheese, sprinkling of tortilla strips,
18:39washed down with a zero sugar raspberry lemonade liquid IV.
18:42Wow. Damn. You hit us with a tortilla there.
18:45I did. I was just kind of reading. You know why?
18:48It's because it said tortilla strips after. And I was so distracted by tortilla strips because I feel like I never read those two words.
18:56Get yourself a dang quesadilla. Napoleon. Get yourself a dang quesadilla.
19:00Oh yeah. Quesadilla. That's right. Austin. So Austin says, what is Arnold Schwarzenegger's kill count in all of his movies combined?
19:06Oh, great question. Oh, wow. And I think it's up to you guys, but I think you could be allowed to go to his IMDb if you want.
19:15Give us. Yeah. We got to read off. Screw that.
19:18I kind of want Craig to take us through the Schwarzenegger IMDb.
19:21I mean, I could probably do it off the dome.
19:25Oh, wow. Oh, now he's just showing off. Well, we've had to do a lot of them.
19:30Predator and Commando and obviously the Terminators. Oh, there's another one.
19:33That's. Oh, true. State Farm commercials. Sure. Guy's got a lot.
19:37Let's. Conan the Barbarian. There's going to be a lot in there.
19:40Kindergarten Cop. The Terminator. Did you say that one?
19:43Yeah. I imagine. Running Man. So here's the question.
19:46Did he kill anybody in Twins? If there's like a nuclear bomb goes off and it Terminators.
19:51Is that. If he detonates it. Yeah. Oh, well.
19:54There's a lot of Terminators. It said. No, let me.
19:57It might say on screen. Kindergarten Cop. I'm a cop.
20:00You idiot. Okay. Lies Junior. He didn't kill anyone in that.
20:03Okay. Wait. Sure. This is so ridiculous. Three, two, one.
20:07Eight. Nine hundred and fifty. Wow. You said nine fifty.
20:10I said eleven hundred. What did you say? DK?
20:12I said nine thousand. Commando had been in like the hundreds.
20:16Yeah. Commando. He goes nuts. Okay. All right. I got the answer here.
20:20What did you guys say again? I said way too high.
20:23I said nine fifty. Nine fifty. I said eleven hundred.
20:26What did you say? You said nine thousand. The answer is eight hundred and forty one.
20:31Wow. You guys were really close. I was thinking like Terminator was going to put it over the top by a lot.
20:38I needed to win that. Otherwise, if I don't, you know, what's the point of watching all those movies if I can't get close to that number?
20:46Commando is a Commando alone is one hundred and thirty.
20:49That's hilarious. It's unbelievable. Guys just diving from. That's crazy.
20:53Total recall. Have you seen Commando Heifetz? I think that was just maybe like bits and pieces.
20:58Probably not from the beginning. It was just like maybe flipping through channels.
21:02I feel like I've seen the middle of it.
21:05Okay. But not the whole thing. Yeah. All right.
21:07Vele. Welcome to the squad. I have him actually in a couple of weeks.
21:12So familiar face. Okay. I'm not off to a good start after getting last last year.
21:17Couple couple last place starts. No big deal. I deal for you.
21:20It's week one. It's basically preseason for us in trivia.
21:23We didn't practice. It's true. Yeah. Thank God. Okay.
21:26So I get next receiver. This sucks. So. There's a bunch of guys.
21:30There's Khalif Raymond for the Bears who had a big week, but I'm not going to bet on that again, even though the Bears can be awesome.
21:39Keenan Allen for the Colts. But I'm like, I just don't want to go through that slog.
21:44There's Caleb Douglas on the Dolphins and Lake Washington and the Dolphins who are starting receivers on waivers.
21:49But I'm like, they're trying to lose. I don't really want to deal with that.
21:54But I think honestly, man, part of me would look at Trey Harris for the charges.
21:59Lad McConkie is a chest injury. It's not clear if he's coming back.
22:03I guess this is a bad. I don't know if this makes sense to pick because we don't know if Lad McConkie
22:10is going to miss this coming week. I kind of just think Trey Harris is good.
22:15But realistically, I guess the I guess it's probably Caleb Douglas on the Dolphins just because he's probably the number one receiver
22:22on the Dolphins and it's like seven targets, five catches, 94 yards.
22:25I'm not proud of that. But it's like a third round rookie who's starting, but he's kind of seems like maybe the
22:32number one option for a team that at the very least will just be like the Dolphins will either be competitive or
22:39just be chunking the ball downfield a lot in the fourth quarter and getting.
22:43Yeah, I don't really like it, but I don't feel like I know who the Patriots receivers is that's going to step up and take all the A.J.
22:52Brown targets. I don't think it's Matt Collins. I don't know if it's DeMario Douglas.
22:56Like, I don't think there's a ton of clarity.
22:59So I guess I might as well bet on Caleb Douglas and Willis just being good.
23:04Just seems like the simplest route is the Dolphins offense is better than we think.
23:09And then that's a good one. And he plays.
23:12But I don't love that, to be honest. We didn't talk a lot about the Dolphins game or the Dolphins side of the ball against the Raiders.
23:20But I got to say, I don't think Malik Willis threw the ball terribly.
23:24I actually thought his arm looked OK. And I actually also thought Caleb Douglas kind of looked good.
23:30Yeah. Strong and fast. Willis is a cannon. Yeah.
23:33I thought he actually made some nice deep throws, some sideline throws.
23:36And I thought Caleb Douglas looks pretty competent, to be honest.
23:40I want to emphasize to Willis that he needs to tie his shoes a little tighter.
23:45His shoe fell off twice in this game. And I remember the first time it fell off, he just grabbed it and put it back on like nothing.
23:53I was like, that's way too easy to get your shoe on.
23:57Your shoe needs to be tighter than that. That's a really good call.
24:01That being said, I was going to take Caleb Douglas too.
24:04So I think I'll just, I'll pivot to Matt Collins.
24:07There's not a lot of great options here, but he played basically every snap after AJ Brown went out.
24:13He was the guy that kind of stepped into that, that void.
24:17He's a veteran. I think Drake may trust him.
24:20I think the coaching staff trusts him. He's going to be in there because he's, he's tough and physical and they want to be a physical run team.
24:28So I'll go with Matt Collins. He had four catches for 51 yards.
24:32Don't feel great about this. The other guy I want to mention that is maybe just worth a stash.
24:38There's a couple of guys worth a stash here.
24:41Denzel Boston, the Browns who ran 97% of the routes for team drop back.
24:45So he was on the field for almost every one of their drop backs in the offense.
24:51If they go to a different quarterback and the week three to Sean Watson's not going to start that week.
24:57Three. Sean Watson is slated to start week two.
25:00I think week three, when they get back home, they'll probably switch to shitter and maybe the offense can be a little
25:06bit more efficient or at least function a little bit better.
25:10So I'm going to go Denzel Boston. He had two catches for 59 yards on the touchdown.
25:15This one's more of a, it's much more of a stash.
25:18I think that makes sense because Matt Collins, there's a funny thing going on where he, the Patriots have a run past
25:25hell that when Matt Collins is on the field, they kind of just are running the ball.
25:31They didn't really fix it over the summer, which is really funny.
25:34So maybe the A.G. Brown injury forces them to just throw more when Hollins is on the field.
25:40But I agree. It's like, you might as well bet on this really good rookie with the really good preseason having a
25:47rapport with Shador in a couple of weeks. Like you don't have to just maximize for week two in this situation.
25:53We're just like trying to find a gem for the rest of the season.
25:57So I think, I think Boston's the right pick.
26:00Did you guys see Todd Munkin, his quote on Deshaun that he's starting next week?
26:05And he said, quote, there were some really good things on film.
26:09I, I really got to say that. I really think the answer to that is that the owner, Jimmy Haslam informed Todd
26:15Munkin that Deshaun will be the starter because Deshaun's getting $46 million.
26:19And I don't hate the conspiracy that if Deshaun gets hurt, the money would go back to the Browns.
26:25And they're like, just play him for the first two road games.
26:29Let him suck. Then Shador can come in like a hero in week three.
26:33There were some really good things on film. He's talking about the Odyssey, like 70 millimeter.
26:38What does he mean? And real quick, before we move on, the other two guys I want to just throw out there
26:45that are just to me, the perfect encapsulation of we are back to waiver wire like ads and try to figure out
26:51who to fucking add on the waiver wires. DeMarcus Robinson for the 49ers and Kendrick Bourne for the Cardinals.
26:57I feel like I've talked about these guys about the waiver wire pickups each of the last four years.
27:03It feels like I don't know why, but they're just always out there making plays.
27:08I got to say. Being the team's third receiver.
27:11A game where the Cardinals offense looked great. Jacoby Brissett was ripping it.
27:1527 completions, 277 yards. Trey McBride had a good game, of course.
27:18The number two receiver on the Cardinals was new player, new addition, 31-year-old Kendrick Bourne, had eight catches.
27:24Eight catches. And Marvin Harrison Jr. had one. Yeah, I...
27:27That's just unbelievable. The Ringer Fantasy Football Show is brought to you by FanDuel.
27:31Welcome to your most rewarding season ever. Only on FanDuel.
27:34How rewarding are we talking? More rewarding than an 18-point comeback?
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27:48Looking at week two, and I see the Cleveland Browns are at Tampa Bay, and the Bucs are favored by eight and a half points.
27:56Even though last week, the Jags were favored by eight and a half over the Browns, and won by, like, 90.
28:02And so I'm just... I know the Bucs turned the ball over a bunch, but I kind of just don't think the
28:09Bucs are going to do that again. And I think Buccaneers are actually just going to blow out the Browns and Deshaun Watson exactly like the Jaguars did.
28:18So I'm going to take the Bucs giving eight and a half, which is a lot.
28:23But I just... You don't know how many times left in your life you'll be able to bet against Deshaun Watson.
28:29Like, you know, life is short. Like, get it in while you can't.
28:33So every week, check the FanDuel app to see what's waiting for you.
28:37Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel.
28:40Download the app to get started. FanDuel. Play your game.
28:4321-plus select states or 18-plus DC or Wyoming. Gambling problem?
28:46Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut.
28:50This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market.
28:53Now, this is a player in the food space that has championed winning food standards and quality since 1980.
28:59That means no added growth hormones or antibiotics in their meat and no synthetic nitrates or nitrites in their deli meats, hot
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29:15Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online. The tight ends is a good reminder that it's what DK's saying is, I think
29:22in week one, in the absence of some huge player that's like maybe a league-winning player to get, it's like the point
29:28of these ads at the beginning of the season is not to fill in for bye weeks or injuries.
29:34It's like hinge. It's like designed to be deleted.
29:37You're trying to add players that will fix the problem, hopefully permanently for the rest of the season.
29:43And like, you know, Denzel Boston maybe could start for you for like the next three months, like in a couple, as of a couple weeks from now.
29:51So I think that's the point. And I think that's especially true at tight end, where like you're trying to, you know,
29:58trying to get out of this constant churn of adding players because it sucks.
30:02So without... Oh yeah, who are you going to pick?
30:05Well, I was going to... I'm curious if you guys think, but I think for tight end, it's specifically for two people.
30:12I don't think there's anyone on waivers that you're like cutting your tight end, your starting tight end for this person.
30:19I think everyone is happy with their tight end they drafted-ish, except for...
30:23I don't know if that's right. Well, no, I'm saying the players that I think you have to bench next week are Harold Fannin.
30:30As long as Deshaun Watson's playing, I don't think you can play Harold Fannin.
30:34And I don't think you can play Kyle Pitts, as long as Cooper Rush is playing.
30:39And maybe even if Tua plays, I don't know if you can play Kyle Pitts that you see that Falcons offense change.
30:46So I think you kind of need to find someone else to play if you have those two guys.
30:52And maybe George Kittle, depending on the snap count.
30:55I don't know if you guys... But I think you do need to find a replacement for this week for those people.
31:02I agree. I mean, there could be a few others.
31:05Because if you're in a 12-team league, those 10 to 12 range could include guys like Jake Ferguson, who did nothing.
31:11There are some players in that range who you might be swapping in and out.
31:16Like, maybe you want to bail on Jake Ferguson and replace him with Pat Friermuth or something like that.
31:22I think that's reasonable. Okay. Also, if you have powers.
31:25Yeah. Is Pat Friermuth your number one guy, Craig?
31:28Yes, I think he is. I think he was much more involved with the offense.
31:32I think Pat Friermuth is a really good player.
31:35I think he's like one of a handful of tight ends to ever start his career with like three straight seasons of 50-plus catches.
31:42I just think the Arthur Smith thing last year where they had Darnell Washington and Johnny Smith and Pat Friermuth, he just got lost in the shuffle.
31:51And I think now that he's kind of back to his original role, and they're throwing the ball a ton more, I think, this year with McCarthy.
31:59They threw the ball 47 times in week one.
32:02Friermuth had like 50 yards and a touchdown. I think he's going to be in the mix.
32:07So, yeah, he's my pick. He was my number one guy too.
32:11DK, was he yours? Yes. He ran 31 routes, which was sixth most among all tight ends.
32:16Also, this is really interesting. Craig, we talked about this a little bit.
32:20When McCarthy came in, they might pass more. Yeah.
32:23I saw this from Joel Thorman. 74% neutral pass rate in week one.
32:27Yeah. Sorry, they didn't throw it 47 times. They threw it 40 times.
32:31Sorry, that was Pat Thorman. Yes. I totally agree.
32:34They're running 11 personnel, and they're throwing the ball a ton.
32:37And it's very different than what the Steelers looked like last year.
32:41I also think the thing I'd add on top of it is Aaron Rodgers, more than any quarterback, throws to the players that he trusts.
32:48And Rodgers has said over and over again, in all these different platforms over the last three weeks, he names three people that he trusts.
32:56It's DK Metcalf, it's Pat Friermuth, and honestly, and Roman Wilson.
33:00Those are the three people he keeps singling out over and over.
33:03And honestly, it's like a 15-year track record of those guys end up getting the ball no matter what else you think about the situation.
33:11I just think Friermuth is going to be the new Bob Tonian.
33:15You know, remember when Bob Tonian, and then he ended up telling us his name was Bob Tonian after two years.
33:21But Bob Tonian would get like 60 catches, and 11 of them were touchdowns.
33:25I think that's the Pat Friermuth season incoming. It'll be 60 catches, but he's going to get a touchdown more than every other week.
33:33So Friermuth is the guy that works this week, but I just think you can kind of just get lucky, honestly, for the rest of the year.
33:41You know what team Bob Tonian's on? Also the Steelers.
33:44Yeah. I think it was their final rosters, but...
33:47Okay, so is it Patty Friermuth showdown time? Yeah, baby.
33:50It's time for the Patty Friermuth showdown time. I knew he was going to be a thing this year.
33:56I'm happy about it. I'm happy about it. You called it.
33:59This one is... I laughed at this. This one's from Doug.
34:03Doug Ebone. How many films has Ringer Fantasy Football League member, Sean Fentasy, logged in his Letterboxd account?
34:08Ooh. Oh, shit. Like combined, all of them? All of them, yeah.
34:12Wow. I am not on Letterboxd, but it's basically you review movies, right, Craig?
34:16It's like social media for like watching movies. You don't have to review them, but yeah, you log them, you can write
34:23a review, and then you give them like a rating out of five stars.
34:28I just don't know how long Letterboxd's been around, I wonder.
34:31And Sean... Sean watches a lot of movies. He watches a lot of movies, and I believe he logs every single one that he watches.
34:39I have a number in my head, so whenever you guys are ready.
34:43I also have a number. God. Yeah, sure. Three, two, one, 2,000.
34:462,100. Ooh. Craig and I are like on the same page today.
34:50What'd you say, DK? I said 2,500. Wow. Fuck.
34:53I'm getting squeezed. 2,2100, 2,500. Wow. Okay. I have an extremely tight window to hit here.
34:58Oh! Wow. We were not even close. 4,505. Oh!
35:014,500? He's back, baby. The king has returned. Wow.
35:03Jesus, 4,500? 5,500. All right. That's a lot. I didn't even know there was that many movies ever made.
35:09That's crazy. 517 this year. Come on. Wait, how many this year?
35:13517. I was roughly operating at around 500 a year, but I guess that was low.
35:18Wow. All right. So I think I'm in last place for this.
35:22What's the highest rated one, I wonder? Oh, yeah.
35:24Should I just peruse? Let's see here. Well, you can't.
35:27It doesn't work like that, right, Craig? It's like it's just out of four stars.
35:32There's just going to be like a bunch. Four stars.
35:35Yes. Yes. So it'll be like how many five-star movies has he given?
35:39And sometimes he doesn't rate them. He just logs them.
35:42All right. Well, Patty Fries, welcome to the squad.
35:45I needed you. That's fine. So I'm second, right?
35:48I'm going to take... I'm taking Brenton Strange, who I think is a really good player.
35:53He's the tight end on the Jags. He scored a touchdown.
35:56He only had two catches and three targets. But they basically didn't have to play football for the second half of this game.
36:03And I want to be a part of that offense.
36:06And I think he's going to continue to be a part of the offense.
36:11And you have guys like Brian Thomas who are beat up.
36:14Travis Hunter's not that involved. And so I think there's a chance that he's, you know, going to be a legit part of the offense going forward.
36:22I think he could be around like a fringe guy that you could hold on to and start every week.
36:29I do feel that way. His touchdown catch was pretty impressive.
36:32He like reached behind him. He kind of had to do like a behind the back spinning catch to grab it.
36:39It was pretty impressive. He's a good player. Heifetz?
36:41So I'm torn. I think... There's a difference to me between the player I think people should add if you like kind
36:48of just need someone for week two to replace Brock Bowers, which the answer is Michael Mayer still to me.
36:54If you need Brock Bowers replacement specifically, because when Brock is back, then you can just get rid of Michael Mayer.
37:01But I think if you just kind of want a tight end flyer, I have a different answer than you just need points for this week.
37:09Okay. So like the player, honestly, I kind of want to talk about here is Terrence Ferguson from the Rams, who had a resounding zero catches last week.
37:17Okay. However, Terrence Ferguson played a lot. He was a second round pick for the Rams last year, and he is very
37:24well positioned to be the number three receiver on the Rams.
37:28And I kind of think the Rams will be okay.
37:31I think all the concern around them is overblown.
37:33The game was in Australia. It was bizarre. And I think there's a chance that you just get the number three receiver on this team in Terrence Ferguson.
37:42He played a lot in these multi-tight end sets.
37:45But then if anything happens to Devontae Adams or Puka Nakua, the upside of Terrence Ferguson to me is like so much higher.
37:52And there's a chance that in a given week, he could be in that upper echelon of tight end, which is like
37:59when you add those guys at the beginning of the season, the upside is so high.
38:04The downside is he might just not have a catch.
38:07Like that's entirely possible. So I'm looking at the Giants next week on Monday Night Football, and I'm like, Sean McVay is
38:14going to look at Arville Reese, who I love, but is a rookie linebacker.
38:18And Sean McVay is probably going to figure out some ways to put Arville Reese in a blender trying to guard these tight ends.
38:25And I can kind of see Terrence Ferguson or Colby Parkinson waltzing into the end zone.
38:30I am reluctant to put my name that Terrence Ferguson will have a catch next week.
38:35But over the course of the season, I think he's a great pickup.
38:39And next week, if I wanted a player, I kind of look at TJ Hawkinson for the Vikings.
38:45I think if Carson Wentz just plays next week to the Vikings, I think Hawkinson for better or for worse is kind
38:52of like what Zach Ertz was to Carson Wentz in Philly, but they're both washed now.
38:57And I just kind of think Wentz is going to look for Justin Jefferson first and Hawkinson second, and Jordan Addison is
39:03just kind of going to get pushed out because those are the routes that I think Wentz is most comfortable with.
39:10But DK, are you vindicated about Jordan Addison? You feel good about that?
39:14No catches for Jordan Addison. Vindicated is probably not the right word.
39:18Like relieved, I didn't. I was not in on that.
39:21Yeah. That's a window into your mind. I feel like Heifetz would feel vindicated and you feel relieved.
39:26I don't want to do victory last round of someone getting zero targets.
39:30Why? Weird. I don't know, because I want everyone to be happy.
39:34I mean, Kyler Murray was out of the game 11 snaps into the game.
39:38I think it's hard to take a takeaway from that, you know?
39:42Yeah. The Vikings won. Jordan Addison should be happy, right?
39:45Yeah. Winning cures all. Yeah, exactly. So what do you guys think of this?
39:49Like, do you guys agree with me? Do you think I'm crazy?
39:53I'm talking about a player who didn't have any catches last week?
39:57No, I think, look, next week, like the risk of starting a guy like Ferguson next week is pretty difficult.
40:03So it's why I understand why you're kind of splitting this into two parts and doing Hawkinson, who had 36 yards in a touchdown last week.
40:11And Ferguson's a long-term play. Ferguson ran a route on 44% of passes for the Rams.
40:16He had 13 routes run, which was the most at tight end, but obviously that's still quite low.
40:21It's low. And that's the thing is I don't think I want to play him, but I want to see if that goes up over time.
40:30Sure. Because if he explodes one week, I think it'll just be hard to get him.
40:34But I'm not going to sit here and be like, you should play Terrence Ferguson next week.
40:40You know what? I find it funny that no one even mentioned Mike Kosicki.
40:44I was going to say, did we not say Mike Kosicki?
40:47No. The other people I'm wondering about, Mike Kosicki, because he had a big – I love that we're just like, well, the guys who went well.
40:56We can't do that. The guy who had 80 yards in a touchdown, no thanks.
41:00I know. I'm just like, Jamar Chase and Tee Higgins had like, what, three catches combined or something insane?
41:06I mean, I'm just – They come out for five catches.
41:10That's not going to keep happening. Kosicki only played 33% of the snaps and ran a route on 45% of the team's dropbacks.
41:17So it was like just a really outlier performance by Kosicki.
41:20That being said, like he did do this quite a few games last year.
41:24You're kind of just hoping to play Whack-A-Mole and catch him on a really good day because I feel like it's match-up
41:31dependent and game-dependent when he's going to show up and do big stuff.
41:35But he has a history of producing some big games.
41:38It's going to be the nature of tight ends this year.
41:42It's just every year, but this year in particular is going to be Whack-A-Mole because there's going to be so many multi-tenants.
41:49The other people I'm wondering about are Hunter Henry and the Patriots because the A.J.
41:53Brown targets have to get dispersed. And instead of just gambling on like, which will be Pop Douglas or some Patriot, I'm
42:00kind of like, should we just have Hunter Henry?
42:03And is that the answer? And the other one I'm wondering – yeah, so Hunter Henry, Kosicki, Hawkinson.
42:08I'm like, I don't love any of these. I can't say that it makes me particularly happy.
42:14I guess I have to pick somebody. The point is these guys are all kind of very similar to me.
42:20Yeah. But I would go – I would pick TJ Hawkinson because the Vikings are playing the Bears next week.
42:26And I just think the Bears are going to put a ton of points up and Carson Wentz is going to have to throw.
42:33And I just think Hawkinson is going to be in the game script where their Vikings are going to need to be just pushing the ball down fields.
42:42So I just think Hawkinson is the most likely to get a touchdown for this week.
42:47And, you know, it's not possible he's better than you think for the near term.
42:52All right, kind of lame. All right, we did it.
42:55Quarterback? What do you guys briefly think about David Njoku?
42:58David Njoku ran 30 routes, caught five catches. I've been wondering about him offseason, and we haven't talked about him.
43:04And I just felt like he was washed, and everyone was talking about a Charlie Kohler and everything.
43:09But I don't mind if you want to pick up Njoku in case he has a big week.
43:15I think everyone just assumed Orlando Gadsden would be better than Charlie Kohler, and everyone wants to put David Njoku out to pasture.
43:22But watching him, I'm like, he might just be a part of the offense, for better or for worse.
43:28There's a veteran savvy that kind of just exists.
43:31You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know.
43:34You could probably do worse. You could probably do.
43:36You could have Colston Loveland at Crowell Pitts and get no points.
43:40Yeah, I guess in reality, you're probably not doing this.
43:43That's like an 18-team league situation where you're probably thinking about David Njoku, but still.
43:48One of his catches was deflected from a D-lineman.
43:51But I know what you mean. Which is funny, because that shouldn't count as a target.
43:55He should have five catches on four targets, because he caught a deflection.
44:00He doesn't. You're right. He doesn't. It says he has five targets, five catches.
44:04That's inaccurate. And that should be worth points if you get a catch that wasn't targeted to you.
44:09That means you're trying hard. I think fumble recoveries should be worth points.
44:13Like Patrick Ricard. Totally. 100%. Who's following. Like Kim Scadaboo or someone in the Giants fumbled.
44:18Isaiah Likely fumbled last night for Sunday Night Football.
44:21And the whole thing in football is like you're supposed to follow just in case they fumble.
44:26And guys, if they're tired, don't. And this happened in the Bills game.
44:30James Cook fumbled and Osiris Torrance got the ball.
44:33And the Giants game, Patrick Ricard recovered the fumble.
44:36And I'm like, that should be worth a point.
44:39You saved a turnover. 100% agree. Like one point?
44:42I think one point for a fumble recovery is fine.
44:45Sure. I think fumbling, instead of minus two for a lost fumble, I think it should be minus one for a fumble
44:51and minus another one if you lose the fumble.
44:54So like if you fumble, you should lose a point no matter what because you lost the fumble.
45:00And if your teammate recovers it, they get a point for recovering it.
45:04But I kind of hate that if your guy fumbles and then someone else picks it up, like nothing happens to you.
45:11Like that's not really how it goes. It's one of the more important plays you can make.
45:16Like if you think about what a coach is the most happy about, like recovering a fumble is incredibly important in the game.
45:23I agree. I don't even think that's an option on most apps.
45:27Like you can't even select that. No, I don't understand that.
45:30Yeah. It should be a thing. It's just like if you fumble the ball, you should lose a point.
45:36I don't think people even disagree with that. This episode is brought to you by Brooks.
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46:27Shop at macy's.com. Okay, so I'm taking after my meandering TJ Hawkinson versus the Vikings if you want points this week.
46:33Like you weren't playing in an advanced system. There's a desire to be like a pocket passer and not bail and use your legs all the time.
46:42And eventually as seasons like Miami's go, there's more that urge is just gives into I need to make a play.
46:48And I just think Malik Willis, like as he discovers when to run is just maybe keep that guy in mind.
46:55And then also just get throw Bryce Young who had like 30 points and plays the Falcons next week or down now three defensive linemen.
47:02The Cleveland in week three, which is going to be against Shador Sanders and the Detroit in week four.
47:08That's three pretty bad defenses. Pretty good. So I think if you need a quarterback for whatever reason, I think Bryce is a pretty good option.
47:16Classic. Okay. Defenses. This next segment is brought to you by Verizon.
47:20A good fantasy draft can set you up for success, but championships are won by staying glued to the waiver wire all season long.
47:27That's where smart managers find the missing pieces at just the right time.
47:31So let's get into the waiver wire daily drops defenses for this week.
47:35I think number one has to be the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
47:39It's not even close. They're widely available because people didn't want them against Cincinnati.
47:43And yet now the Bucs play Deshaun Watson. And I've said, Ruben Vane was out there cooking.
47:48Look good. He's going to cook Deshaun Watson. And then in week three, the Buccaneers face the Vikings, which will be either
47:55Carson Wentz or Carson Wentz with two weeks of tape on him or Kyler Murray.
48:00So I think Tampa Bay is a really good defense to add.
48:03Yeah, they're available to 49ers. The other. That's the thing.
48:07If they're available, also the 49ers, a lot of people have them or sorry, do not have them because they were playing the Rams.
48:14The Niners are playing the Dolphins. That is also like an absolutely excellent one to have.
48:19And if those two are you can't get it does.
48:22There is a drop off. There's two outside throughout is it's going to sound weird when I say this.
48:28OK, but it's a weird year for defense. There's not many defenses played well last week.
48:33I want to throw out the Bears defense. And that sounds nuts.
48:37OK, but they gave up 37 points to Carolina.
48:39But they got three turnovers out of it. So they had like six points on defense, which is like what the Ravens had versus the Colts.
48:47So I'm like the Bears are going to be so good on offense that I think the Bears defense, the chance for
48:54the Bears to make a play against Carson Wentz and the Vikings, the chance of a pick six or a fumble six
49:01the way I just think is actually like the risk is actually kind of worth the reward to me.
49:07Like, all right, maybe the Vikings and Carson Wentz just steamrolled the Bears defense.
49:11But I think the odds of Carson Wentz doing a pretty catastrophic turnover are kind of high.
49:16So I kind of don't hate the Bears defense, actually.
49:19Even if they give up 40 points, you might end up with like pretty good score.
49:24I don't disagree. I like that. I like betting against the backup the longer into their like more games they start because they usually start to get worse.
49:33They usually don't get better. It's like food that's been sitting out on the counter.
49:38It doesn't matter how good it was at the time.
49:41Like, it's just there's a half life. Right. Exactly.
49:44One hour in, you're like, oh, cool. Leftovers. On that note, the other one I want to say, and I want to
49:50run this by you guys before I formally recommend it.
49:53I kind of wanted to ask you about the Cardinals defense.
49:57Oh, against Seattle? Against Seattle. Because I want to know Drew Locke.
50:01I mean, yeah, he's a backup quarterback. There's a reason he's a backup quarterback.
50:05He's been a career backup. Yep. And he's the type of backup who can make bonehead into stakes.
50:10Right. He's pretty aggressive for what, you know, what you'd consider a backup quarterback.
50:15Like, he's not, he's not afraid to rip the pass down the field.
50:19So, yeah, I mean, that's, that's something you're just hoping to get a couple turnovers out of it, basically.
50:25And that could happen. It's a little galaxy brain, but that's the order for sure.
50:29It's Niners and the Niners defense versus Miami and the Bucks defense versus the Browns and Deshaun Watson.
50:35Huge, massive teardrop. Probably two tiers. And then it's like, I kind of, Bears versus Carson Wentz and the Vikings.
50:41I kind of like, you should definitely be able to get one of those.
50:45Okay. Just like keeping an eye on the waiver wire on Mondays, Verizon customers can snag NFL merch, gift cards, and more
50:52with Verizon Shines daily drops every Monday. Look out for these in the My Verizon app all year round.
50:58Plus, get NFL game day tickets, including field level seats.
51:01No purchase necessary. See Verizon Shine in the My Verizon app for details.
51:05All right. Craig asked for people to email in about what the Colston Loveland term should be.
51:10Ooh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you explain that, Craig, for those who don't know what we're talking about?
51:16No worse feeling in fantasy football than seeing that the team that your guys on scored a zillion points.
51:22You check the box score only to find out that your player had a fucking goose egg, which is what Colston Loveland
51:29did when his team put up 59 points. He had zero catches.
51:32No worse feeling. So the honorable mention from Blair B-Bone.
51:35Blair. Blair. Is that Jalen Waddell was concussed for the Broncos 70-0 game.
51:39Oh, right. Yeah. And that it should be called getting waddled.
51:43Okay. But that's not the winner. The winner is, many people suggested this, but I want to read Mitch's email.
51:49Mitch. Mitch. Mitchie. Mitch's breakfast, one of those Nature Valley biscuit sandwich things and a cup of coffee for breakfast.
51:55All right. Nature Valley makes biscuit sandwiches? That was my first thought as well.
51:59I just knew them making like the granola bars.
52:02Same. The ones that crumble. The world's most crumbly granola bars.
52:06Yeah. They have those. It's the worst thing you could put in your backpack.
52:10It is true because anywhere you're most, what is the situation where I'm supposed to eat that?
52:15Can I just say, those stink. Those suck. Did you just make them a little less crumbly for crying out loud?
52:22It's crazy. If they were like undeniably tasty, I'd be put up with it.
52:26They're not. They're mediocre. Why are they so, they're the only granola bar that's so crumbly?
52:31If you try to do like a work, someone listening to this right now is like listening to this show at their
52:38desk in an office trying to eat a Nature Valley and they're just making a mess.
52:43And you end up looking like Peter Pettigrew. You're just like picking up crumbs.
52:47It's ridiculous. I agree. Do you think they taste good?
52:50I'm not going to lie. They're fine. You could make them less crumbly, I feel like.
52:55Science is far enough along now that we could do it.
52:58Wait, so what is it? It's a breakfast, it's a Nature Valley breakfast sandwich?
53:03Well, the breakfast sandwich, I don't know. But my friend who was a personal trainer, I was trying to eat them to be healthier.
53:10My friend described them to be as a health food for people who don't know what health food is.
53:16Yeah. And that really hurt because I was eating a lot of them at the time.
53:21They're like biscuit cookies with like peanut butter in the middle.
53:24Okay. I was thinking it's like an egg sandwich.
53:27Yeah, like a Jimmy Dean from Nature Valley. Yes, yes, yes.
53:31It appears to be it's just like two biscuit cookies with like almond butter in the middle.
53:36Anyway, Mitch, email on what a Colston Loveland is.
53:39Regarding Colston Loveland's goose egg, sorry, goose egg. I think there's a term for a somewhat similar situation for when someone technically
53:45is present and watching a situation unfold, maybe happily, maybe not, but doesn't actually participate.
53:50And I think it rhymes with duck. It always comes back to cuck.
53:54The fantasy cuck. Fantasy cuck. It has to be.
53:57Oh, man. Bill wrote in and was less diplomatic.
54:00Bill said it should be called the cuck chair.
54:02Everyone is good. Everyone's having fun scoring left, right, center, backwards.
54:06They're absolutely pounding the end zone. Meanwhile, poor Colston Loveland is sitting on the sidelines all alone, getting blue balls because he can't get into the end zone.
54:14But he's also kind of enjoying watching it from afar because at the end of the day, his team is thoroughly winning and satisfied.
54:22They're doing great. And he's happy for them. I was going to say the reason why I quibble with this is because
54:29like in theoretically the person in the cuck chair is do it.
54:32This is what they wanted. Right. Isn't it like it's a kid.
54:36They're winning. They're winning. They're winning the game. Yeah.
54:39You think Colston? I mean, I don't know. Maybe he's really good teammate.
54:43I feel like I'd still be a little bit.
54:46I think he's had they won 59 points. Craig, you can say the same thing about people in the cuck chair.
54:52Some of them are maybe not like 100%. It's mixed emotions.
54:55There's a lot going on. Some of them are only sitting there because their fiance asked if they could do it before they get married.
55:03Right. Theoretically or hypothetically. Hypothetically. No, no, literally. I heard that.
55:07Literally. What do you mean? It's literally not hypothetical.
55:09Allegedly literal. Wait, was she proposing that he watch?
55:12No, I don't believe so. I don't know. I'm not privy to that.
55:16Maybe. I don't know what they're getting up to.
55:19Yeah. I think it should be the. Yeah. Colston Loveland.
55:22The cuck chair is good. Well, how do we say it then?
55:26Colston Loveland got cucked with zero points. Like, how do you say it?
55:30Colston Loveland got stuck in the cuck chair. He got stuck in the cuck.
55:34Yeah. Colston Loveland's cucking. I think it's Colston. No, he's not.
55:37Yeah. Colston Loveland's getting cucked by Kalief Raymond. He got cucked by his own team.
55:42He got cucked, but yeah. Okay. Was cuck. When did cucking like become part of normal parlance?
55:47I feel like I never heard about this growing up.
55:50No. I think it's more recent. It is more recent.
55:54I think. I feel like it was very niche and then it became something.
55:58All the Pepe the Frog bots started tweeting about it like about 10 years ago.
56:02Okay. And then we all, everything changed. Yeah. Once.
56:05Yeah. I have no. Yeah. That's exactly right. Cucking has always been a thing.
56:10The term felt like there was some zeitgeisty moment where it became popular to say, but I don't know what that moment was.
56:17Let's look that up. I can continue. I'll look it up.
56:20Yeah. Yeah. DK's just like doesn't talk for the next five minutes.
56:24I'm doing research. Oh, actually. Wow. That's interesting. The immediate answer.
56:27And I bet is a gamer gate, which would make a ton of sense actually.
56:32Cause that's kind of the beginning of the modern internet.
56:35Gamer gate. Was that a scale? What is, uh, I don't even know how to begin to describe it.
56:41I will send you an article, but it, it, it, it's.
56:44It, it. Do you know gamer gate? Oh my God.
56:47I don't know. I haven't even described it. I mean, not really.
56:51I don't know the details on it. I remember people talking about it.
56:55Uh, it was, uh, about the integrity of video game journalism.
56:58It's the beginning of like communities getting together to like, they were, I, you know what?
57:03I'll, I'll. Was it about somebody named Zoe Quinn?
57:06Yeah. And her ex-boyfriend. Interesting. Okay. It's, uh, it, it's this thing that was like this very weird story, but then became
57:13kind of a roadmap for online communities like acted on social media.
57:17It's actually kind of interesting, but anyway. Um, okay.
57:19We're adopting that now. All right. And now it's us.
57:22Colston loved him the cuck. He really did. That, that was an all time cuck job.
57:2759. What's this? What's the sex equivalent of 59 zero?
57:30Like he missed an orgy at the playboy mansion or like studio 54 or something.
57:35I would say he had to watch his fiance 59.
57:38Someone else. Oh, hey, yo. I don't even know what that is, but it's 59 is even funnier though.
57:44Yeah. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
57:47Okay. On that note. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig.
57:50Thank you, Austin. Thank you to kill. Thank you.
57:53Everyone who emailed in. Thank you to, uh, yeah, David and, uh, everyone emailed in.
57:58I forget everyone. Um, email us fantasy courts, email us your, uh, uh, trivia questions and email us things for, uh, the Friday episode.
58:05We might be able to do some emails. And so, yeah, email us all that stuff.
58:10Email stuff about Gamergate or cucking. I don't know if I want the Gamergate stuff.
58:15If it's good. No. Yeah. We'll stay out of it.
58:18Okay. Yeah. We'll see. I don't want to dive into that.
58:21Yeah. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Lord. You got it or you want me to go?
58:26Oh, I got it. Okay. I'm going with the scorpions.
58:29Rock you like a hurricane. Stop. Rock you like a hurricane.
58:32That song? Here I am. I think if we had to do, uh, like a Mount Rushmore of like just little, I
58:39don't know, a bridges or whatever that are the most eighties.
58:42I think that here I am might be like one of the top four.
58:47Here I am. Like the eighties. It's so glorious.
58:50I fucking love it. It's a scorpion. The band, the scorpions, which I don't really know a ton about.
58:55Um, great name though. Great eighties name. Scorpions. I bet you they were all sitting around a room and they were like, what's fucking awesome.
59:03And they were like, yeah, yeah. What's like bad ass.
59:06And like scorpions are pretty bad ass. Like, yeah, you're right.
59:10They are. Let's go with the scorpions stingers. You could die.
59:13I had a scorpion in my bed once. That's like a Ricky Bobby.
59:17If he had a band, it was, you know, that was the original pitch for anchorman.
59:22There's a scorpion in there. There were just scorpions and bowling balls on a plane and they crash and scorpions and throw and throwing stars on a plane.
59:31And they crashed. That was the entire pitch. Is that right?
59:34Yes. That was the original pitch was, it became a scene in increment too.
59:38But the entire thing was Ron Burgeny and all them on a plane to China to see the pandas.
59:44And they, the plane crashes on the mountain and a mountain China and everything else on the plane was throwing stars and scorpions.
59:51And that was the entire movie. Can I think it?
59:54I don't know. The scorpions sold over a hundred million records worldwide.
59:58They're a German band. Oh, the lead. This Rocky like a hurricane song was the lead single for their ninth studio album.
60:05Wow. Love at first sting in 1984. Love at first sting.
60:08It was so simple. Oh, that's how it, that's how they came with the scorpion thing.
60:13They're like, it's, it's, they're like my dick is like a scorpion.
60:17That's definitely what they were going for. The album cover for whatever album Rocky like a hurricane is in is very provocative.
60:24I think the guitar. Yeah. Yeah. Like the guitars are, are like their dicks based basically.
60:29Yeah. This album cover looks like that new Sydney Sweeney ad where she's trying to get you to gamble on sports.
60:35Which one? I won't even name it because it's not FanDuel.
60:39How about that? There you go. Why would I go there?
60:42Here I am. Bam, bam, bam. You like a hurricane.
60:45How did that hurricane go in LA, Craig? It was fine.
60:48I'm, I was in Toronto for a lot of it.
60:52It was just very humid here for like a week.
60:55So LA gets a hurricane and it's humid and everyone freaks out.
60:58Well, it did rain really hard for a day.
61:01I just wasn't here for it. Oh, okay. You hit LA.
61:04You can, I were in LA and it was like, there's going to be a hurricane.
61:09And we're like, I bet not, but we're going to leave.
61:13Well, those are the weather reporters saying that. So I was just, I was listening to the meteorologists, but.
61:19Sure. Sure. Maybe the best curb bit of all the curb bits might be the weatherman lies about the rain to play
61:25golf with no one out the course. It's genius.
61:28And I, I say, I'm onto you weatherman all the time.
61:32I'm onto you weatherman. There's a jet stream of bullshit coming out of you.
61:36Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus
61:43and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem?
61:46Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org.
61:51In Maryland, hope is here. Visit gamblinghelpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.
61:58For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867. Look what TJ Maxx dragged in.
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