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PodcastFrom The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

The NFL Schedule Draft AKA The "Don't Get Divorced" Draft. Plus, Heifetz's Wedding Recap

STACKED extracted the fantasy-relevant player signal from this podcast and kept the full transcript here for context.

1 hr 35 min

Duration

Estimated from transcript

May 25, 2026

Published

Mon, May 25, 2026

Player insights

Players mentioned

Topics

C.J. StroudJosh AllenPatrick Mahomes

Player analysis

Player insights

C.J. Stroud

NegativeMatchup0:16

C.J. Stroud is expected to struggle against the Eagles defense, which could lead to a disappointing performance in their Christmas Eve matchup.

Insight page

Josh Allen

PositiveMatchup0:25

The Thanksgiving night game between the Bills and Chiefs is a must-watch, showcasing Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes, which could be a pivotal matchup for fantasy implications.

Insight page

Patrick Mahomes

PositiveMatchup0:46

The Thanksgiving night game against the Bills is expected to be a high-stakes matchup, with Patrick Mahomes likely fully operational by that time.

Insight page

Full transcript

Episode Transcript

1,468

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1:01Visit WeatherTech.com today. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show.

1:04My name is Danny Heifetz and I am joined in person in Los Angeles by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck.

1:09We did it. In our new studio. Wow. I have a ring on my finger and so we are going to do

1:15today, as Craig suggested to me, the Don't Get Divorce Draft.

1:17Look at that. The rings. We all have the Frodo ring.

1:20We all have the old school ring. We all have the Frodo ring.

1:24We are going to do the Don't Get Divorce Draft because I didn't look at anything for the NFL schedule because I was getting married that weekend.

1:31And then someone tells me the Super Bowl is on Valentine's Day and I was like, oh shit.

1:36And so Craig had this great idea, we're going to do the Don't Get Divorce Draft.

1:40Yeah, it's the NFL schedule draft, AKA the Don't Get Divorce Draft, where basically we are going to build out and organize

1:46the perfect football watching guide to the 2026 season.

1:48Games that you can't miss and games that you maybe should miss so you don't get divorced.

1:52So we'll be doing that in a little bit.

1:55Why? Is there something wrong in the week of Thanksgiving having Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday?

2:00So I would say we're doing it because Heifetz just got married, now we're all married.

2:04Also, this is the most treacherous NFL season we've ever had and we have to go through it.

2:08We're just testing the limits of our loved ones.

2:11Yes, we are. We're getting extremely close. Once they go to 18 games next year, it'll be even worse, but it's teetering right now on insane.

2:18But I do, I like watching football. I want to be back here.

2:21Craig, the fact you have to say that is not true.

2:24First of all, making Thanksgiving Eve a thing the same year they put an NFL game on New Year's Eve, I, I,

2:30there's a lot, yeah, there's one, again, Super Bowl and Valentine's Day.

2:33Craig put the schedule together for us in a nice, very easy to digest list.

2:37And as I was looking over it, I was like, this is insane.

2:40You're like getting short of breath. They're like, hold on.

2:43There's a Christmas Eve Eve game. There's a Thanksgiving Eve Eve game.

2:46There's fucking games every day of the week. Yeah.

2:48Like several weeks this year. It's freaking crazy. So yes, we're going to try not to get divorced.

2:53At the end of the show, we'll talk about, we went to Heifetz's wedding in DC.

2:57DK and I. It was a wonderful time. Very happy for Heifetz and Jackie.

3:01Yeah. We'll get to that at the end. But maybe the biggest news we have to begin with.

3:06My beloved Aaron Rodgers has officially returned. He signed officially like during the ceremony.

3:09During my wedding. I believe it was Saturday night.

3:12Yeah. He signed during the wedding. We found out together.

3:14I have to, can I give you guys, this is not a theory.

3:18This is something in the back of my mind.

3:20I think it is not impossible that Aaron Rodgers signed during my wedding on purpose.

3:24If the fuck with me. There's, I mean, there's a non-zero chance he's a consumer of this show.

3:29Well, so here's, here's. And I think he likes media.

3:31I'm not saying I think that happened. I'm saying if in 10 years I find out that he did that, I wouldn't be shocked.

3:38And here's why. I think I've been meaner to Aaron Rodgers than anybody in football media this year.

3:42Mean. I think that sincerely, I've been meaner to him.

3:45I've called him like, basically he's being like a, basically like a loser for deciding to hold an entire team hostage.

3:51That it's not like when Brett Favre did it with the Packers, it was 15 years.

3:55It was like, he's been on Steelers for one year.

3:57He's going to hold the team hostage. He's not going to OTAs.

4:01What do you have going on? Make a decision or not.

4:04And I've been really mean to him. And this is like.

4:06Saturday night. That's not the ideal time to announce that.

4:09Well, this is a man who like seeks motivation.

4:11He does what he wants. But he seeks motivation like firewood.

4:14And they got, doesn't Steph Curry look up his mentions at halftime on Twitter if he isn't doing well?

4:19Like, I'm just saying they look for this stuff.

4:22I've been really mean. Unconfirmed. Oh, sure. All I'm saying is I kind of think a little bit that Aaron Rodgers did it during my wedding on purpose.

4:29Just a little. I like to believe that. Yeah.

4:31I forget who we were talking to at the wedding, but someone's like, oh, like Aaron Rodgers back.

4:36Are you bummed? I'm like, as opposed to what else?

4:39Like Mason Rudolph? This is still good. Craig, you looked at me.

4:42We're on the shuttle bus going over to. Heifetz's wedding had several different locations.

4:46So we're on the shuttle bus going over. Craig looks over at me and goes, Steelers are going to be good.

4:51He was like, it took him literally 15 minutes to completely buy in.

4:54So Rodgers has been in Pittsburgh for like a month.

4:57He signed two weeks earlier than he did last year.

5:00Oh, wow. So he's getting a little more time with the team.

5:03Better. A little more reps in. He was there Monday practicing with Mike McCarthy and the gang.

5:07He was getting ice cream with Pat Friermuth. Ice cream.

5:10A week before he signed. Superfood. All I will say is this.

5:13Mike McCarthy notwithstanding. The roster is better this year, undeniably.

5:16Undeniably. The receiver core is significantly better. The receiver core is significantly better.

5:19The offensive line is better. And I think the defense is better.

5:22That's all I'll say. And I think Rodgers had plenty of moments last year that proved he can still throw the football.

5:28I would argue that Aaron Rodgers had the single best throw of any quarterback last year.

5:32And it was him rolling out to the right and he threw it 50 yards to Pat Friermuth and Pat Friermuth dropped.

5:38I watched the replay of that the other day.

5:40Yeah. It was, I think, the best throw of the year.

5:43And he was 41 years old. And so, yeah, look, they'll probably win nine games.

5:47But do I think they could win 11? Yeah.

5:50I love how, I just love how quickly and how frequently you switch.

5:53To be honest, I think the engine has swung too far about how bad, Rodgers was not a fucking disaster last year.

5:59I don't think anyone thinks that. Some people think that.

6:01Okay, I don't think most, I think most people.

6:04People like Rodgers on the Steelers. What a disaster.

6:06Another year, huh? Yikes. I'm like. It's better than Mason Rudolph.

6:09Way better than Mason. Yeah, it's your best option.

6:11I don't want Malik Willis. Like, come on. Sorry to Carlos who just traded for him in Dynasty.

6:16Oh, you made the trade? He was texting me about it.

6:19Yeah, he did. Yeah. And it is his final year.

6:22I think everyone's on the same page about this, which is, he's honestly the Steelers without Mike Tomlin.

6:26And again, can't say enough that Mike Tomlin dealt with everything.

6:29Antonio Brown, Le'Veon Bell, Ben Roethlisberger. Aaron Rodgers drove that man to the cliff.

6:33To never say that enough. One year of Aaron Rodgers, Mike Tomlin was like, I'm done.

6:37And then we were like, you know what? Hopefully that happens with Mike McCarthy.

6:41It's like, the only man who's done it before.

6:43And so, it's just so funny that this is like the exact same team.

6:47It's like Mike McCarthy, they will be over 500.

6:49They will probably make the playoffs. They will probably not win a playoff game.

6:53It'll be the same thing. And like, Rodgers will be good enough that you're not upset you got him.

6:58And he won't be quite good enough. And frankly, the offense will be limited enough that you won't be able to win a Super Bowl.

7:05This team is in a bizarre point where like, I really don't know what the other option is.

7:09There was no quarterback to draft this year. There was no- Well, they did draft a quarterback.

7:14You know, yeah. Other than the one they took.

7:16Kind of rude of you to say that, but okay.

7:19Drew Aller, sure. And honestly, look, if it was Mike Tomlin's coaching staff trying to figure out Drew Aller and Will Howard,

7:24I'd much rather have McCarthy's coaching staff and Rodgers, rather than just Mason Rudolph and Mike Tomlin.

7:29So, I think it is a better situation this year than last year, I do.

7:33I think it's going to be interesting too. This is just kind of getting into the weeds a little bit, but the

7:39offense that the Steelers ran last year, where it was very tight end heavy.

7:42Arthur Smith. Arthur Smith was the architect of it.

7:45It was very tight end heavy, run the ball a lot, blah, blah, blah.

7:48I do think they'll probably still continue to run the ball a lot, but the McCarthy offenses are like three receiver sets and kind of more spread out.

7:56And I think they're a little bit maybe more in line with what Aaron Rodgers wants to be doing.

8:01So, I think it's going to be fascinating to see how the offense evolves from a schematic point of view, just because

8:07I think it does probably fit what he wants to do more.

8:10Having Pittman, having Jeremy Bernard, and then DK Metcalf obviously is like the number one.

8:14I think the offensive line is going to be better.

8:16Yeah. I think there is a chance that we could see this offense take a step forward.

8:21With the caveat that I actually do think the Steelers will be okay and they'll probably be better on offense, they certainly

8:26will be better on offense than they've been. I actually do like their person a lot.

8:31I think Darnell Washington is like that kind of weird piece at tight end where he's an incredible blocker that's fast, that actually every team probably wants that.

8:38It is really just weird though, and I almost think underrated.

8:41Rodgers and McCarthy flamed out almost nine years ago, and then he was fired after a long tenure and won a Super Bowl and that relationship soured.

8:48I don't know if that's, how many times in any sport has that happened?

8:52Where a Hall of Fame coach, or sorry, a Hall of Fame quarterback and a coach that had won a Super Bowl

8:57and done like 15, almost 12 years together. Got back together?

9:00Then they returned like eight years later. It's like after, yeah.

9:03In any sport that's weird. It's like the movie It's Complicated with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep.

9:08I was gonna say, it's like- They're just having an affair.

9:11There are a couple that used to be together that is now divorced that is having an affair again.

9:16Yeah. Uh, the other thing, so was 2017 was last year?

9:18Yeah, he was- McCarthy was fired I think 2018.

9:212018. The end of the 2018 season. And then Rodgers- That's crazy.

9:24And then they drafted Jordan Love and then he went back to back MVPs, right?

9:28Yes. Yeah. Weird. Anyway, I think they'll be good.

9:30I do kind of agree with Craig. What else are we gonna do?

9:34Nothing. But that's just- Seriously. Weird, you're in this position.

9:36I mean, the Steelers are in a bizarre spot.

9:39Yeah. It's like TJ Watt is at that age where it's now or never.

9:42And so I'm like, I don't love that Art Rooney's like, why would we have any season where we're bad?

9:48We wanna compete every single year. At some point you have to reset.

9:51You have to. Otherwise you will be stuck in mediocrity forever.

9:54And so I understand that once again, we're trying it again this year, it'll probably be a mediocre result.

9:59But then the Steelers need to reset. Like at a certain point, they need to like, gut the roster a little bit and figure shit out.

10:06They won't do that. And try to get a top 10 pick.

10:09I'm telling you right now, I think the Bengals and the Ravens are gonna make the playoffs and actually I kinda think

10:15the Steelers will be over 500 but miss the playoffs and then you'll just see what happens.

10:19And also we forgot to mention, Rodgers said he'd retire.

10:22Rodgers said he'd retire at the end of the season.

10:24Yeah. So he's gonna get his little tour. But I don't think like basketball, I don't think everyone's gonna give him gifts before the games.

10:31You know what? You say that. Every player likes Aaron Rodgers.

10:34The media doesn't. Players love him. I'll say that.

10:36Yeah. He's gonna tell us, personally. More players have talked about that they like Aaron Rodgers than any other player I know.

10:42And I don't know why they're doing that. Maybe he's Venmoing all of them to say it.

10:46But he seems to be- He rules with an iron fist.

10:49Not bad on the practice field with his teammates.

10:52Can we use AI to have Craig before he rooted for Aaron Rodgers have a conversation with Craig now?

10:57It's just funny. Probably. Like if Rodgers wasn't like a crazy media person during COVID and all that stuff and he was,

11:03let's say he just never did anything with the media but his play has been exactly the same.

11:07Would we feel the same way about him? Would you feel the same way about him as you do now?

11:12To be clear, he annoys me because again, he's the Jamie Lannister thing where it's like that's the first scene with Tywin Lannister.

11:19Jamie Lannister walks in the tent and his argument with his dad is, dad's like, you care too much what people think of you.

11:25And Jamie's like, I don't care what anyone thinks of me.

11:28And Tywin's like, that's what you want people to think of you.

11:31And like it just becomes insufferable. I agree. But having said that, he, I still think like the best quarterbacking I've ever seen is Rodgers in 2011.

11:38Like he's the best, like you look at Brady and like, you know, the Falcon Super Bowl over the course of a season.

11:44Brady says that Rodgers is the best thrower of the football.

11:47He is like Aaron Rodgers. Like I, I, I, you're right that I'm saying all the criticism is the frosting on the

11:53cake of he is, he, he is as good as these other quarterbacks, but like Peyton Manning's great quarterback.

11:58Peyton Manning's spiral kind of sucked. Like Aaron Rodgers pure throwing the football is still above my homes, above all these guys.

12:03Like he's the Manning. He was throwing some ducks.

12:06He was throwing some wobblers. Like Rodgers is like the, when Rodgers had the seasons where he would have good technique, he's

12:12the most talented to love football of all time.

12:14And he's like the most scary person to have coming back.

12:17I think it's funny that he's the greatest Hail Mary thrower of all time.

12:21He might, he's approaching. Like he's incredibly good at that.

12:23He's approaching like him, the same way Derrick Henry has more 200 yard games than everyone else in the last like 25 years.

12:29If he has another one this season, Rodgers will probably have about as many Hail Marys as the rest of the league combined.

12:35The last like, since the end of the league.

12:38Do you think 20 years from now, Rodgers will be underrated?

12:40Because he only won one Super Bowl. Maybe. He's underrated now.

12:43But he's surrounded by Peyton Manning, who's more, who's I think more famous.

12:47Tom Brady, who's obviously more famous. And then the Mahomes, Josh Allen era came in and he kind of got lost.

12:52Like sandwiched in the middle there. He won like kind of an unmemorable Super Bowl against the Steelers in what was it?

12:582011, 2012, whatever that was. And then that's kind of it.

13:01Peyton Manning will be more famous. It's like this way Paul Newman's the salad dressing guy to people like me.

13:06And Peyton Manning will be the, like the Monday Night Football announcer that you're like, oh wait, he was good.

13:11But that's my point. Is that people who know his name.

13:14The highlight, Rodgers' highlights are so much better. Yeah.

13:17Maybe the Aaron Rodgers was a problem. There's so much better.

13:20Um, with that said, let's get into the NFL schedule draft, a.k.a.

13:23That don't get divorced draft. Yeah, so this is how this is going to work.

13:27The three of us are going to go through and we're going to draft based on six categories.

13:31Hmm. Basically recommendations for those of you who watch football at home that don't want to get divorced this NFL season and

13:37want to take something for yourself, but also give back to your spouse, to your partner.

13:41And it's a draft though. We're filling out like a roster.

13:44There's positions here. So instead of quarterback and running back and receiver and tight end, you've got some categories.

13:49Yes. So here are the categories. There are six categories.

13:52We have the best weekend primetime slate. So it's like per week you go through, you're going to look at week three.

13:58What's the Thursday night game? What's the Sunday night game?

14:00What's the Monday night game? You're going to, we're going to say.

14:03We're not doing any date nights that week. Correct.

14:06This is like. Clearing your calendar. Thursday night is booked on.

14:09Yes. So we're basically going to do, you can draft two weekend slates that you want, that you need to watch that are can't miss.

14:15And you're going to draft two weekend slates that you think you can miss.

14:19Like maybe you take a trip that weekend with the fam.

14:22Exactly. Or like sometimes on Monday, like if I really want to, you know, if you've got to watch the Monday night

14:28game, like you handle dinner and dinner is kind of prepped.

14:31Yeah. So it's cooked. And then the game starts and you're like, wow.

14:34Yes. So two primetime slates you want to watch, two you don't.

14:37We are going to be selecting two holiday games that you need to watch.

14:41Screw the family. You're going to watch this holiday game.

14:43You're going to draft two holiday games that you want to, that you can skip.

14:47So you can spend time with your family. A holiday game is a single game.

14:51It's like the Thanksgiving morning game or the Christmas evening game or Thanksgiving Eve, which I suppose exists now.

14:56Thanksgiving Eve. And then the final category is international games.

14:59You're going to select one international game that you can, the sick, we're talking about the morning games, the games that happen at 630 Pacific, 930 Eastern.

15:06You'll draft one international game that you need to wake up for to watch it.

15:10And one international game that you can just sleep through.

15:13Okay. So despite what we just said in that little explanation there, we're now recording this after the episode, we kind of

15:18screwed up the segment per usual and we didn't really understand it well.

15:22So we're actually not going to be able to like the final couple rounds.

15:25We're just not going to have it. I, I, it's, it's my fault.

15:29I miscounted the amount of holiday games. I thought there were 12.

15:32There's only 10. You did most of the work for the episode, but then I just played the, I got married card.

15:38I'm not going to help you fact check this draft.

15:40And then, um, we spared you us counting. Yeah.

15:43To 11. So we're just like one, two, three.

15:45Yeah. I lost count. Let's start over. Yeah. So the last two rounds, not everyone's rosters will be exactly the same, but that's okay.

15:51We had a great time. So without further ado, the, the, the draft.

15:55All right, let's just do it. Before we start, I do want to give a brief overview of the 2026, 27 NFL season.

16:01So, um, the season starts on a Wednesday with a, it's a rematch of the Superbowl.

16:05Yeah. And then there's, that is crazy that the Superbowl, like the last game in the first game are just the Patriots Seahawks.

16:11Again, Wednesday night. And then the next game will be in Australia Rams Niners on Thursday.

16:15Yeah. Throughout the rest of the season, you have Saturday games.

16:18They invented a holiday Thanksgiving Eve, which is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

16:21There will now be a game. Um, there is a game on Christmas Eve this year.

16:26There are three games on Christmas day. There is now a game on new year's Eve this year, and it is all

16:31capped off by, uh, the Superbowl falls on Valentine's Day slash President's Day weekend.

16:35Wow. Wait, President's Day is Valentine's? Yes. Wait, President's Day is the 15th?

16:38Yeah. There's no way. Are you serious? Isn't that right?

16:41I'm going to be misinformed throughout this episode. I've been in post-wedding.

16:44Heifetz is winging it. Let me check. Yes, it is.

16:47President's Day is the 15th of February this year.

16:49So, so if your partner's like, Valentine's Day, let's do a weekend away.

16:53Yeah. We have Monday off, honey. Hilarious idea. What I'm doing weddings is that the least weddings of any weekend in the entire country is Superbowl weekend.

17:00Oh, wow. It's literally the last. You can't get anyone to come to your wedding.

17:04Yeah. Dude, you can't even really do a bachelor party Superbowl weekend.

17:07People get mad if you do a wedding in the fall at any point in time.

17:11Any football game. Any college football game. Like, Saturday?

17:13No. Sunday? Absolutely not. Ohio State's playing Toledo. The Superbowl is not eligible to draft because it doesn't really fall under any category.

17:19However, it would be the ultimate husband move because it's President's Day weekend slash Valentine's Day.

17:24Take a trip. Oh, you sniped me. That was like my dark horse.

17:27Like intrusive thought was if it's something your wife would appreciate.

17:30We were joking that you're getting a lot of capital for that.

17:33Yeah. Like husband capital. Yeah. If you actually get shit for watching football and your wife would appreciate it, that is the ultimate husband move.

17:40I always thought if Scotty Scheffler was winning the Masters that year, he was like, I will leave no matter what hole

17:45I'm on if my wife goes into labor. That it would be cooler to walk off the 18th hole with the lead and like forfeit than actually win.

17:53Like that would actually be cooler. Like that's kind of what this is.

17:56This is your shot to be husband. I would never do that if I was almost going to win the Masters.

18:02He's already won though. He had already won. Okay.

18:04I'm just saying. But I do think like if you don't have a great Superbowl watching setup, maybe your team's not in it.

18:10Maybe skip it. Let's be honest. Six Patriots kind of sucks.

18:13Like if you didn't have a dog in the fight, you're a Jets fan.

18:17It's like the bills or the Patrick and the Superbowl.

18:19It's like, you know what? I don't need to fucking watch this.

18:23All right, let's do this draft. Okay. So DK, DK claimed before we started that he deserves first pick because he's older.

18:28You said I'm the oldest. I did say I'm the oldest.

18:31You want to just do it in order by age DK.

18:34Easy to keep track of. Okay. Well, the reason I said that is because I have one that I want to get.

18:40I'm assuming none of you guys were going to pick this, but you could have picked it as one of the better holiday games you want to pick.

18:47I am eliminating it. I'm taking it as the game I'm going to skip.

18:51Oh, that is New Year's Eve. Oh, it's a good game.

18:54I would be excited to watch this in any other scenario.

18:57It's Ravens at Bengals late in the season week 17.

18:59It's probably going to be the division is going to be up.

19:02This is going to have a lot of fantasy implications.

19:05I will be watching this game because New Year's Eve is actually my anniversary, both relationship and wedding anniversary.

19:10Every year we make a big deal out of New Year's Eve.

19:13We go out. Sounds like it's against your will.

19:16Every year we make a big deal about it.

19:18No, absolutely not. I picked this first. I am setting this aside.

19:21I won't be watching this game live. It looks like a great game, but absolutely not.

19:25I'm not going to be sitting around at home watching an NFL game on New Year's Eve.

19:30I'm going to be out at dinner with my wife doing all the revelry of New Year's Eve.

19:34It is a Thursday night this year. Thanks. New Year's Eve.

19:37This was not my number one pick, but I completely agree to get it.

19:41I think New Year's Eve is the worst day for football the entire year.

19:45The difference to me, and it's actually the way laws are written in the days of the week fall.

19:50They can't move them. But the difference to me when college football, it used to be the bowl games, now it's the semifinals or whatever.

19:56The difference between the college football semifinals being on New Year's Eve versus New Year's Day is always the difference between me

20:02having the best day of the year to watch, which is I'm hung over New Year's Day.

20:07New Year's Day is great. I get to sit there and watch.

20:10Yeah, it's the best. New Year's Eve is like disaster because it's like, New Year's Eve is an overrated holiday, but as

20:15you get older, you want to be home by 11, but then if you're going to go to a party, you go

20:21to someone else's party- I disagree with the both of you.

20:24You can commandeer the TV though, but it's like I want to watch this game, but I can't go to someone else's

20:30place if they don't want the game on. I can't be like, hey, my friend Emma who does our New Year's Eve

20:36party, like, hey Emma, can we put on this Ravens-Bengals game on Amazon Prime?

20:39Can you log into Prime Video for me right now?

20:42I can't do that to them. And so I'd rather sacrifice and be like, hey, I'm in the moment.

20:47We're going to do this. And it's a good game.

20:50I agree. New Year's Eve is a terrible day for football.

20:53I was initially appalled just because my instinct is to dislike when they throw a game on a holiday that didn't previously have football.

20:59However, I had this game in the neutral category.

21:01I don't feel strongly about it either way because New Year's Eve is a classic, like wherever you are, like the game

21:07can be on in the background and it's not a huge disturbance.

21:10Like whether you're at a bar, whether you're at a party, like people will throw the football game on.

21:15You can check in on the game. And that's fair, but here's the difference.

21:19And this is actually more profound for New Year's Eve maybe than any other holiday, except probably Christmas.

21:24The time difference. Five o'clock on New Year's Eve, you're not anyone's house on New Year's Eve.

21:28You're getting ready or doing whatever. East Coast, that's 8-15 New Year's Eve.

21:31That is when you show up to New Year's Eve party.

21:34It is like eight o'clock. Who's not going to want to throw the game on?

21:38You can, but like it's like then you're the...

21:41It'll be done before the ball drops and it's like a great background thing.

21:44Oh, football's on. Yeah, that's fair. Football's like that homey feel.

21:47You put it on, it feels like, you know, it's American maybe.

21:50But it's the same thing as like a Super Bowl where it's like, oh, a party's actually a terrible place to watch a football game.

21:57I think for this... But the purpose of the party is not to watch the game, which is different.

22:02The Super Bowl, the purpose of the party is to watch the game, which is why it sucks.

22:07Can we lay some... If it's background, it's great.

22:09We need to lay a little bit of ground rules here, I feel like, because if you're saying the game can be

22:15on in the background kind of watching, that changes the entire structure of this exercise.

22:19I think what I'm saying is like... My point is I'm not going to sit at home and say, Skippy, we can't go to any...

22:25That's fair. We can't go to dinner because I got to watch this fucking Thursday night game.

22:30By the spirit of the game, DK's right. Yeah, you're getting like, I will ignore this because I love you.

22:35You're right. Like, I'm going to watch this later.

22:37You're more important to me than this game. And New Year's Eve is like, yeah.

22:41Okay, so that's your first pick. Yeah. My first pick, I think this is an easy...

22:45Why do you get to go next? I thought we were doing...

22:49I know, but I realized we were going to take and I got mad.

22:52You agreed to it. Fuck. I'm taking week one, opening slate, prime time.

22:56Yeah, yeah. I'm not missing that. It's real good.

22:58Bad pick. Wednesday night is Pat Seahawks. Thursday, Niners, Rams, and Australia.

23:01Sunday night is Cowboys, Giants. Monday night is Broncos, Chiefs.

23:04Like, out of probably every prime time slate, the first week is the one I want to miss the least.

23:09That was my number one choice too on prime time matchups.

23:12Especially in... I'm just not missing week one. It's great because we're not...

23:15You're not worn down from a full season every freaking Thursday, every Sunday.

23:19And it's a lot. Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday, Monday, but that's why I'm taking it first.

23:23That's a good take. It's a good... Week one really is like you're the kid in a candy store and it's an unusually good week.

23:29It's like you're starved for football. It's the first week of fantasy.

23:32You're getting it. The group chats are going crazy.

23:35Like, if you're gone that weekend, you feel like you're missing out on the world.

23:39Dude, Thursday... There's gonna be Wednesday and Thursday games with a lot of...

23:42And there's going to be a lot of high profile fantasy people.

23:45We got Pat Seahawks, 49ers Rams, Wednesday, Thursday. There's gonna be some incredible scores in fantasy week one heading into like Friday.

23:51It's great. It's a really good pick. And I also want to take one moment.

23:55As if Mike Vrabel's not had a bad enough offseason, the Patriots playing the Seahawks in week one is just like...

24:01Like, literally, you're the showcase of the season. What a nightmare.

24:03Like, hey, remember this team that kicked the shit out of you?

24:07Yeah. Like, you were the first game of this season.

24:09In Seattle. Oh my God. It's gonna be in Seattle.

24:12Has there ever been a more like need to win week one game than Mike Vrabel?

24:16Oh my God. What if they get their ass kicked in again?

24:19Like, oh my God. And then also the signs people are gonna bring to the game.

24:23My God. Oh my God. The 12th man's about to go hard.

24:27The 12th? The sign? Yeah. Like, dude, the sign potential.

24:29Think about the TV crew. What kind of like directives they're going to have here in terms of filming people in the crowd.

24:35I wonder what they'll... Yeah, because there's gonna be some bad signs.

24:38Well, you can hear the announcers like, you know, like, Mike Vrabel had a tough offseason.

24:43Like, it's just, it's gonna be like 30 to six again.

24:46I feel like there will be zero mention of that, right?

24:48You can't. I don't know. I don't even think though, Tarika would say he had a tough offseason.

24:53I don't think you can even do that. I did not say anything.

24:57Uh, my time. Alright, Hyven, you're up. Um, those are two good picks.

25:00I played it safe. I think because it fell to me, I don't know if this makes sense.

25:05First pick is tough. I don't know if this makes sense for the scarcity of the game.

25:09But I'm gonna take as the, um, my, uh, what is the category called?

25:13The, uh, holiday game that you have to watch Fuck Your Family.

25:16Okay. Ooh, I like that. I'm taking Bill's Chiefs Thursday night.

25:19Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Thanksgiving night game, Bill's Chiefs.

25:21You could tell, and I do think this was the theme when I pulled up the schedule.

25:26Cause I was pretty late too. I did it after my wedding.

25:29And, um, so I was kinda Sunday night. I was scrolling through.

25:32I was like, alright, what did they do here?

25:34And I was like, wow. They really went all out.

25:37I remember when Saints Falcons was like the Thursday night game on Thanksgiving.

25:40And like the overall theme seems to be they gave Amazon better games throughout and they really made the holiday games good.

25:46And you could tell that they have a TV contract coming up and they want like these 10 poll games that they

25:52want to establish and break all the records so they can get big money going in with these new negotiations.

25:57Cause like Bill's Chiefs is just, they are literally like, that's the break glass in case of emergency.

26:02Josh Allen Mahomes and even Mahomes come off the ACL.

26:05I don't care. Like that is like a, the rare, we actually have to schedule our dinner around this game.

26:10Yeah. Like I feel like my Thanksgiving, because we're giant fans in part, we probably just usually eat during the Cowboys game cause fuck them.

26:16And like we watched the night one, but like you actually have to wrap up dinner before Bill's Chiefs ends.

26:22I think it's perfect because on Thanksgiving, at least the way that we, my family has done it in the past is

26:27like by the time, you know, five o'clock Pacific rolls around, everybody's in a food coma.

26:32It's a great East coast pit. You're like hanging out.

26:34Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And it's like, at that point, the family time is kind of over.

26:38Everyone's just vegging out. Everyone needs like a little bit of their own space.

26:42Yeah. And this is obviously a great game and week 12.

26:45The other thing that's important here is by that time, Mahomes should be fully operational.

26:49Um, you know, because early on in the season, there's some good chiefs primetime games early in the season, but you have

26:55to keep in mind, like he might not be number one.

26:58He might not even be playing. He'll be playing.

27:00He probably will be playing. I think, I think the fact that they gave the Chiefs, he's playing.

27:05I think they gave him Monday night football. So a week one.

27:08So I think that means he's playing when I see the Packers don't have, they, they play the Cowboys week six and Sunday football.

27:14I'm like, maybe Michael Parsons doesn't play to the beginning of the season.

27:18Like the fact that, you know, I actually think that means something.

27:21Um, but I think the schedule makers are like talking to the injury people on a team or whatever about how far along there.

27:27Yeah. And you're like, Oh yeah, right. This is a business where they have to sell these games for billions of dollars.

27:33All right. DK. Okay. Yeah. You're up DK. Um, all right.

27:36Well, I'm going to go with a must watch holiday game as well.

27:39This is Christmas day. Which one? Seahawks or Rams at Seahawks.

27:42Fuck. I wanted that. That's the other thing. That's Christmas night.

27:45Yeah. And again, the same deal as what I just said with the Thanksgiving thing.

27:49It's like later in the evening, the family time is kind of in the books.

27:53It's your get the hay in the barn. Yes.

27:55At that point, you can just kind of go and everyone sitting around and watching the games.

28:00Um, this is going to be a huge game.

28:02Very likely Rams against Seahawks late in the season.

28:04Week 16. The infamous Zach Charbonnet. Yeah. Pick up the ball.

28:07And this is the first time these two teams play this season.

28:10They play again in week 16. Yeah. They backloaded it.

28:13So this is the first. Ridiculous. Game between these two teams.

28:16Yeah. Fuck. This is a good one. What do you guys do on Christmas after dinner?

28:20What time do you eat dinner on Christmas day?

28:22It's usually like a early. It's usually like a lunch dinner thing.

28:26Yeah. So what do you guys do Christmas night?

28:28I was going to write this down. I think Christmas night is secretly not that fun.

28:32That's what I was wondering. I was like, yeah.

28:35It's kind of depressing. Yeah. And it's like, oh, thank God for New Year's Eve.

28:39It's kind of like Christmas is over. Fuck. If it wasn't for New Year's, Christmas night would be like really depressing.

28:44It's like 364 days until next Christmas. You do.

28:46You get like the end of your holiday scary.

28:49Yeah, totally. But thank God you're like, oh, at least a week later we got New Year's.

28:53I'll panic then. Yeah. Yeah. But Christmas night, you're kind of just like sitting there.

28:57You have the presents hangover. So that's kind of where I'm going.

29:00Also, you've watched a bunch of Christmas movies probably in the run up, but you might be sick of them by now.

29:06Maybe you watch Christmas movies tonight. But to your point, DK, of all the real estate the NFL has taken, I'm Jewish

29:12and maybe I don't care, but I like Christmas.

29:14I celebrate Christmas. It's fine. I actually think the Christmas night.

29:17It's fine. No, I'm saying, but the Christmas night of all the real estate is the one I'm least offended by.

29:23Yeah. I actually find Christmas Eve way more offensive for a football game than Christmas night.

29:27Christmas night makes a lot of sense. Oh, I agree.

29:29Christmas Eve feels like un-American, inhuman to watch a football game.

29:32The family's getting together, gathering, preparing for Christmas morning.

29:35The kids are excited. It's like, hold on, honey.

29:37Yeah. Saints Packers is on. It's just of all the holidays, I think that's like the worst one.

29:42For the record. I can't. Yeah. It's gonna be seven to six.

29:45That's a good pick to you. That's a great pick.

29:48I had that fourth on my big board. Okay.

29:50I'm also going to be selecting a holiday game to skip, to spend time with your family.

29:54Christmas morning. Cool. Okay. This is the biggest time change thing.

29:57Yes. Because Bears Packers- East Coast is different, I suppose.

30:00Bears Packers noon is like kind of perfect because you transition, you're done with gifts, you're done with breakfast, depending on what time, and like you're into something.

30:07You know, some people have to go and do, maybe you're driving to someone else's house.

30:12It depends. But Bears Packers, I mean that's an amazing game.

30:14Those are two of the best games all season, non-Rams Seahawks division.

30:18But 9am, like you can't. You can't do it.

30:20You cannot do that West Coast game. Come on.

30:22Christmas morning. That's crazy. Everyone sitting around opening presents.

30:25Dude, and you're setting your fucking line up and you're like, oh my God, wait, what's going on?

30:29Who's up? Oh, that looks great. Oh, that's a cool toy.

30:32Fucking Colston Lovelland drops a pass, you're cursing yourself under your breath.

30:35Your son is like opening his magnet tiles and it's like the most magical moment of your child time as a father

30:41and you're like, do I play Christian Watson? What's his hamstring with?

30:44Do I play him? You gotta skip it. Look, Packers-Bears play in week five, watch it then.

30:49If you're at the in-laws, you have children, like, I'm sorry, you're giving it up.

30:53You can watch two more games that day. That's right, especially you guys being on West Coast time.

30:57Just no fucking way. Like, like you also don't- I'm also against it morally.

31:01I don't think there should be a game on Christmas morning.

31:04Like, Christmas morning is tough. I, I, Christmas night's perfect.

31:07It's also a good game, which is the worst part.

31:09I know. Like, it's not background fodder. It's like, Packers-Bears could be for like the division.

31:14Because it used to be like, you know, Thursday games was always just like Saints-Jags and you could just skip it.

31:19They would put them back in. And now the NFL is like, why would we do that?

31:23And we could just take a great game that we would have aired at 1.15 and we'll just put it on Thursday.

31:29So I'm gonna, on that note, I'm gonna take game to skip.

31:32I'm taking Christmas Eve as the game to skip.

31:35Yeah, that- Because I just really- Yep. Christmas Eve, like, sure, if you want it on the background, but I'm like, I actually, Chris, I love Christmas Eve.

31:42It, it, and I just, I can't. I think that has to be sacrilegious.

31:46It's also Jack- It's like, you'll get it like now that you're a married man.

31:50But I guess like it was probably the same way even before you guys were married.

31:54But like now you're splitting time between two families.

31:56Yes. On my Christmas Eve, traditionally we've always opened presents on Christmas Eve.

32:00Yeah. Right, right. People do that. And now it's, especially now, because Calvin gets two Christmases essentially.

32:04So Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day with Skippy's family.

32:07He opens presents both days. But the special night is Christmas Eve.

32:10I'm not fucking sitting around watching, what is it?

32:13Texans-Eagles. This was really high on my list. Texans-Eagles, two good teams.

32:16Also that game might suck. Oh, I was gonna say, it's not a fun game to watch.

32:20CJ Stroud against the Eagles defense. Come on. That's like World War I.

32:24It's gonna be 7-6. It's trench warfare. It's like you're fighting for an hour to get like an inch.

32:29Good teams, I don't think that will be a fun game and it's happening at the worst possible time.

32:34Moral boycott against the Eagles. No, I don't want them to think that works.

32:37I'd rather, all these other ones... We're not gonna give them that.

32:40Fuck that. Wait, is that like a Thursday? Yeah, that's a Thursday night game.

32:44It's a Thursday. So that's why they're doing it.

32:46Yes. They got lucky because... I know they do.

32:49Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are Thursdays, so they're like, what?

32:52What? No, it's like you give them an inch, they'll take a mile.

32:55It's like if they think it works, they're gonna...

32:58Totally. I actually want those numbers to suck. I don't want football on Christmas Eve.

33:02Well, shit. That was gonna be my next pick.

33:04Um, so I'll go with... Cause he just took Christmas Eve.

33:07Yes. Yeah. I'm just attacking the holidays right now.

33:09That's my strategy. I think since there's... I think there's one international game that I've kind of circled, so I'm gonna take that one.

33:16Oh, that you wanna watch? You wanna skip? I wanna wake up week 10, November 15th.

33:20Is this the Lions game? The Patriots against the Lions in Munich.

33:23Yeah. I don't know, it just sounds a lot of fun.

33:26First of all, two really fun teams. You got the, you know, the Patriots coming off of a great season.

33:31I still think their offense has a chance to make a big jump this season.

33:35And if they have A.J. Brown, it's way more fun.

33:38And if they have A.J. Brown, it's gonna be fun as hell.

33:41It's way more fun. I think the Lions are always one of the most fun, one of the most aesthetically pleasing teams in the NFL.

33:47Mike Crabill trying to get as far away from America as he possibly can.

33:51And the Germany game's fun because Amon Ross St.

33:53Brown is the mascot of it, and he just speaks like fluent German on TV, but also to the crowd.

33:59His mom, I think his mom is German. His mom is German, and so he speaks like perfect German, and so he always addresses the crowd.

34:06I think after the game, like pretty likely, it's actually pretty cool to watch.

34:09So I think this, to me, that is the best game on the international slate.

34:13It's smart to go after that. It's lower down on my board just because international games in general, I'm like eh, whatever.

34:19I had it as a reach, but... It's a reach, but it is the best one by far.

34:24Right. Oh, that's why I went with it. Yeah.

34:26There's one other that I'm interested in, but I think in terms of matchup...

34:30It's like taking a tight end early in your draft.

34:32Yeah. I mean, great pick. I wouldn't have done that.

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35:02Life's full of little surprises, like spilling coffee everywhere five minutes before a meeting, or reaching for a diaper and realizing the bag is empty.

35:09Kind of like draft night. You think you know the plan, then everything changes.

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35:24Amazon, save on essentials, save the everyday. All right, my next game, I will be selecting another holiday game to skip.

35:29And it's the Black Friday game. Oh, yeah. Fuck the Black Friday game.

35:33What the fuck? I barely know what's on. Interesting.

35:35I'm like in this hangover of Thanksgiving and I'm like, what do you want to do?

35:39Should we go golf? I'm like with my family.

35:41Should we go on a walk? And it's like, oh, there's a football game on at noon?

35:46On Amazon? On a Friday? But like- It's so fucking foreign to me.

35:49That's so interesting. I love the Black Friday game.

35:52I hate it. Craig, do you understand this? I don't know where I am.

35:55The Steelers are playing. I don't give a fuck.

35:58Steelers, Broncos, I'm like- It's your team. Don't want it.

36:00What do you guys do on Black Friday? To me, I want to like enjoy not working, being with my family, not

36:06having the like Thanksgiving we got to cook the dinner.

36:09Friday's the day where you can actually fucking do something fun.

36:12Yeah, I want to sit so I- Well, see, I don't want to sit all day.

36:16You sit all day for Thanksgiving. Watch football all day for Thanksgiving.

36:19I want to like go play golf. Go on a walk.

36:22Oh, this is where the location difference comes out.

36:24It's like 35, 40 fucking degrees. It's warm in LA.

36:27I'm like, yeah, I would also like to go play golf on Black Friday, you bitch.

36:31Fuck. He's like, maybe I should fly down to Florida or something.

36:34Oh my God. That sounds great. That is actually very true because I was saying the same thing Heifetz is thinking.

36:40I'm like, it's cold and dark and dreary. Like on Black Friday- I'm like, oh, a lovely crisp ball, right?

36:45Black Friday in Washington is black. It's like freaking dark and cloudy.

36:48Black Friday games good. I just feel like I'm rotting away on that Friday.

36:52I'm just like, once again- It's like, I got to put on some shorts and get outside.

36:56It's like the worst time. It's like noon. It's like, well then, I have no morning and I have no afternoon because

37:02the NFL just fucking sucks up the whole middle of it.

37:05I think the game's an abomination really. Absolutely. It's also such like Amazon commercial corporate crap.

37:09You know? I'm like, ugh. Of course, Amazon is a Black Friday game so I buy more toilet paper.

37:14Well that's- in all seriousness, I do think- Craig, you can just order toilet paper from the game.

37:19I know. How cool is that? I can go on fanatics.com and get an Aaron Rodgers jersey while watching the game.

37:24I do think Amazon has way better Thursday night games than ever, specifically the back-end stretch because it makes sense.

37:30They want you to buy Christmas gifts on Amazon.

37:32And so the back half of Thursday football up until Christmas is like really good games.

37:36You're like, oh right, yeah, right. They're Amazon. They have different preferences than like Netflix.

37:40They- Let's also keep in mind that this will now be the third night or the third day in three straight days

37:46that there will be an NFL game on. But I- You have Thanksgiving Eve, Thanksgiving, and then- And then finally your poor

37:52wife is like, can we do some days? Sorry.

37:54On that note, Black Friday- Steelers Broncos. I think it's a great football experience.

37:58I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked the Black Friday games and how much it fit into my life.

38:03With that said, my next pick, I'm going to take the other game to skip for a holiday is Thanksgiving Eve.

38:09Packers-Rams. I'm taking that. I actually think it's a good matchup and they put a pretty good match up there.

38:14That one doesn't bother me. I mean, I hate it.

38:17Once again, moral boycott. But I'm like, I had Thanksgiving Eve.

38:20It's like Thanksgiving Eve. People are coming in, you're not doing anything.

38:23It depends. But I feel like there's a lot of names for it.

38:26I think when you're younger, it's like, you know, Drunksgiving or whatever.

38:29But I do think the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving- And everyone's making fun if that's not a thing and it's not called

38:35Thanksgiving Eve, but it is a thing. Your friends are in town and you get to see people.

38:40And there is an energy that Wednesday night before Thanksgiving has.

38:43And it's just fun to- People are back in town.

38:45It's a very fun vibe. I feel like when I was growing up, like you end up at people's different houses.

38:51You see their families. Like you see your friends, parents, whatever.

38:54It's a good vibe. And the idea that you might like stay home and like, we'll just watch a football.

38:59And like that's like becomes like a stagnant thing now for a few hours.

39:03That like, I don't know. There's something still very special about that Wednesday night before Thanksgiving.

39:07And I think a football game, Black Friday, I'm like, dude, everyone's full.

39:10No one wants to leave. Like you're carved out.

39:13Wednesday night is like a special thing. And to me, it's like Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve.

39:17I'm like, I want that energy to be pure.

39:19It's a fair point. I think for some reason I have more of a problem with midday games where I'm like, I

39:25can't- It takes up your whole day. I feel like I'm being held hostage by- Because you could go fucking golf at noon on November.

39:32If it's like- The Thanksgiving Eve game being at least at night, I'm like, well, I'll be in the house anyway.

39:37But I do agree. I bet you make a good point.

39:40Like one, if you're hosting Thanksgiving, you can't watch this game.

39:43Also, because you're supposed to be fucking helping. Yes.

39:45And you feel like a special piece of shit if everyone else is cooking and you're like, Oh, I'm gonna sit on

39:51the couch in a head of- You know how I'm sitting on the couch all day tomorrow while you cook?

39:56I'm gonna- Like, you have to do something. Yeah, you can't pregame watching three games on Thanksgiving by watching another game on Thanksgiving Eve.

40:03Yeah. I agree. It's not a bad pick. I do agree.

40:05It's messy. You have to do the work coming into Thanksgiving.

40:08Okay, so DK, you're up. We're halfway through. All right.

40:11I wanna- I wanna pick it- We're being negative right now, so I wanna pick something where we're excited.

40:16I was looking at the primetime slates. It's hard to decide because I don't think there's any perfect primetime slate other than maybe week one is pretty good.

40:23I was circling- I'm gonna take week seven of the primetime slate.

40:26Thursday Night Football Patriots at Bears. I wanted that win.

40:29Which I think there's a ton of great storylines there.

40:32Drake May versus Caleb Williams. Two teams on- Well, I guess the Patriots aren't really ascending.

40:36Poor Vrabel, man. Vrabel's getting killed today. Vrabel's all over the place.

40:39Yeah, when are they- Yeah, it's gonna be bad.

40:41But, so, Patriots-Bears, Thursday Night Football, Sunday Night Football, Chiefs-Seahawks.

40:44That'll be a lot of fun. Obviously, for me, it's extra special.

40:47You're gonna get to see Mahomes get destroyed by the Seahawks defense.

40:50Amazing. And then Monday Night Football, long time rivalry, you know, Cowboys-Eagles.

40:54I'm not like as excited about that game. Do you guys care on the West Coast about Cowboys-Eagles?

40:58I think NFC East games are the most aesthetically pleasing.

41:01They feel the most like football. That's awesome. I feel it.

41:04Yeah, you can feel the rivalry. I love Cowboys-Eagles.

41:06You can tell how much the fans hate each other.

41:09Yeah. It's like as a third party, someone who doesn't have a, you know, a dog in the fight in terms of

41:15like that rivalry, I always do enjoy the banter between Eagles and Cowboys fans, Eagles and Giants fans.

41:19You know, all that stuff. It's a infamous division.

41:22And I think that it is the division where your wife could walk in and be like, and be most likely to

41:27sit down and be like, oh, Cowboys-Eagles-Giants. Okay. Cowboys-Eagles.

41:30That sounds fun. Right, right. It's just like classic football.

41:32And it's in Philly. I just love the Philly vibes.

41:35You got like big Dom. You love the Philly vibes?

41:38Yeah. Well, I mean, I think they're funny. All the fan bases are uniquely easy to hate.

41:42Yeah, yeah. Like you can like or hate the people from those places.

41:46They're just the most famous team. Cowboys fans. Yeah.

41:48So this is going to be week seven. October in Philly is not going to be that crazy of a weather.

41:53I wanted to ask the East Coaster here, Heifetz.

41:56So week seven, it's the last weekend before daylight savings.

41:58And we're kind of entering like last nice weather weekend in the East Coast, right?

42:02Late October. Well, I don't think of it that way.

42:05I think of it as that's probably like Halloween weekend, but also it's like, that's Sunday nights, you know?

42:10Halloween's the next one. Week eight. Oh yeah. 26.

42:12Oh, right. Sorry. I've also never called it Halloween weekend.

42:15I've never even. You did it. It's on tape.

42:17Well, you did. He put it in my brain.

42:20Halloween weekend. Thanksgiving Eve. I tentatively had it down as a great football weekend, but I was like, ah, last weekend before

42:25daylight savings, still good weather across the country. See, you know when that is.

42:29I feel like daylight savings is always an, I always learn about it one day before it happens and then I forget

42:35and I wake up and my phone's different. I'm like, I've never planned ahead for daylight savings.

42:39Yeah, yeah. So the, that is, I do think those, the Caleb May, the Caleb Williams Drake May Thursday night football game into the weekend's really good.

42:46Okay. I'm up. I'm going to take, I'm going to, I'm going to do another primetime weekend that I don't want to miss.

42:53Mm. And I'm going to do, this might be controversial.

42:55I'm going to do week 15, which is the week before Christmas.

42:58Oh, interesting. Okay. It's December 17th to the 21st.

43:01You have Thursday night football is Niners chargers. That's Jim Harbaugh versus the Niners.

43:04Yes. Fantastic game. You have Saturday night. There's a Saturday night game about that.

43:08I like that. Yeah. Saturday night bears bills, Sunday night lions, Vikings, Monday night, Patriots, Chiefs.

43:12I think this is like one last hang with the pals for the end of the year.

43:17And because you have a Saturday game where it's like a great night game.

43:20It's like, Oh shit. Bears bill Saturday night guys are friends are going to be one.

43:25It's like, this is, this is the last hurrah before you pack it in for the end of the year.

43:30Also, I should point out that same weekend, you're basically not going to be home all weekend because that same weekend, Dune three and Avengers doomsday comes out.

43:37So like that, you need to reserve that weekend for the pals.

43:40That's a good, that's good. Which would you rather see?

43:43I feel like I'm way more excited for Dune than doomsday.

43:46I still don't totally understand how Robert Downing is coming back, but like, I'm not going to, I've decided I'm not getting it.

43:52Just don't think about it too much. I liked Avengers.

43:55I liked the Avengers movies too, but I just, I, what the Avengers did well was they spent 12 years building up

44:00this massive storyline with all these characters culminating in one final moment.

44:03And then he's like, I'm back. And then they just kind of took six years off.

44:08None of the movies worked and they're like, ah, but there's another Avengers.

44:11I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I think this is a good thing.

44:14And this reminds me, and one of the reasons I haven't taken a ton of- It's also the first round of the fantasy playoffs this weekend.

44:21Oh, that's a good point. Oh. I'm spoiling my strategy a little bit here, but I think one of the reasons I'm

44:27not doing a bunch of like my favorite primetime games.

44:30When I was doing this and I was going through all the games, my main thought was the quarterbacking in the league right now is really good.

44:37There's some really good primetime. Yeah. So like at the end of the day, for better or for worse, you are more

44:43interested in players and quarterbacks and people than like necessarily great teams.

44:46And like, that is how they schedule primetime. The reason Bill's chiefs, it's really, it's Mahomes versus Josh Allen is Thanksgiving night.

44:52Right. But as I was going through, I'm so excited.

44:54Mahomes off the ACL, Matt Stafford off this Ram season.

44:57Like even just seeing a CG Stroud response, Dak, but like also like Caleb Williams, Drake, May, Kyler in Minnesota.

45:02Like there are so many quarterback, Jaden Daniels coming back.

45:05And I'm like Jackson Dart with Jim Harbaugh. Like there are so many more quarterbacks.

45:09I'm interested to see this season than I can ever remember.

45:11Like it's, it's a very cool year. Yeah, I agree.

45:14It's a good point. So the next pick here, I'm going to, I'm going to take the primetime game, primetime weekend to skip.

45:20Okay. This is easy. Damn. I'm going to do week four.

45:23Damn it. I'm skipping. So it's just going to form skipping.

45:26It is the, I actually think it's the only bad one.

45:29Yeah. And it's Thursday night football. It's pretty tough.

45:31It's the Steelers Browns are in Thursday night football primetime.

45:34It's the only time the Cleveland's in primetime all season.

45:36I'm kind of amazed they even got one. Yeah.

45:39Look, I have this in red. Who's going to be the quarterback?

45:42Like the, I mean, there's five teams I think that did, or a few teams that didn't get any primetime games.

45:47It's like, you know, Jets, obviously Dolphins, Titans, Cardinals, Raiders, surprisingly.

45:50But then the Browns, Steelers Browns, Sunday Night Football's Lions Panthers, which is, you know, it's fine.

45:55It's a B. It's a B. And then Monday Night Football's Falcon Saints, which is also like, that one is, that's, this

46:01is, especially for East Coast, this is, as Bill would call it, pumpkin picking.

46:04Or, this is your last farmer's market of the year.

46:07It's October 1st. Weather's great across the country. Yes.

46:09Yeah. Depending when you want to get your pumpkins, if it's fun, you can start to do that.

46:14You can go to the farmer's market Sunday morning.

46:16Like, I think that that is like, I think that's a really good weekend to do all that.

46:21It's a great one. It's like, you've done three straight, back to back to back, on the couch.

46:26Give one back. This is your performative Thursday Night Football dinner reservation, where you're skipping Thursday Night Football, taking out to a

46:32really nice dinner on Thursday, because you're sandwiched between like, really good Thursday Night games all around, and you're like, that's your sacrifice.

46:38Stole my pick. Yeah, I'm really proud of that one.

46:40That was a really good, that was a Arville Reeves fall into the Giants.

46:44I think I'm gonna just, I'm gonna go with week 13 for the primetime slate that I'm excited about.

46:49Oh. It's kind of, it might not have been super high on your guys' list, but I was just looking at it

46:55and I think it's just a lot of fun.

46:57Thursday Night Football, it's Chiefs at Rams. I feel like that could be a really good game.

47:02That's, also, any time you get to watch all the highlights from that 2018 game.

47:05This is December 3rd to 7th. Yeah, so this is week 13, early December.

47:09Mm-hmm. Sunday Night Football, Texans-Steelers, that game doesn't have like, sex appeal, but it should be too...

47:14You didn't have fun in the playoff game this year?

47:16No. What's the over-under on fumbles in that game?

47:19Remind me what happened in that game. It was, well, I will say, Stroud defecated on himself for most of the game

47:24and I believe the score was 7-6 to start the fourth quarter.

47:28And it was fumble, he also fumbled like four times.

47:30Yes, in the first half. Yeah. Oh my god.

47:33It was a mess. And then, I believe the last throw of the year was Rodgers throwing a pick.

47:38It was Rex Grossman-esque. CJ Strat in the playoffs, like, it was, if he hadn't had a good rookie year, we'd be

47:43like, what is wrong with this person? You could, if you're a Rodgers hater though, you could look at this as a

47:49fun time to see him get absolutely clobbered. Let's hope he's still playing by with their team, man.

47:54The Texans defense, and I'm a Seahawks fan, so saying this, I feel like carries weight.

47:58Like, they might be the best defense by a mile this year.

48:01They're gonna be amazing. I really do think, cause the other thing, and we can go over at some point, like, the

48:07way the schedule impacts how you think about the season.

48:10And Warren Sharp does a lot of good work on schedule strength.

48:13I really do think it is like, Texans, Seahawks are the best two defenses.

48:16And the only thing that will get in that way is injuries.

48:20And injuries, like, the Texans are more vulnerable to it, cause they rely on more of the individual people than a system.

48:25But like, the Texans and Seahawks, I do think will each make their respective conference championships.

48:30Unless someone gets hurt, cause they're unbelievable. But CJ Stroud is more, he's definitely like the biggest delta swing player in the league this season.

48:36Yeah, and then Monday Night Football is Cowboys-Seahawks. Which again, I'm, you know, biased on that, but I think that feels like a fun game.

48:43The Cowboys are always really fun to watch. You got George Pickens, you got CeeDee Lamb, Dak Prescott.

48:47So I just think there's a lot of fun storylines with that.

48:51Seahawks and Cowboys actually have some pretty good games over the years, going way back.

48:55So yeah, just like that slate. The Cowboys-Steelers one, or sorry, the Texans-Steelers one kind of like, makes you fizzle a little bit.

49:01But yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.

49:03All right, Craig, you're up. I'm gonna go with a primetime slate that you can miss.

49:07It's week eight. I think it's another mediocre weekend.

49:09It's, this is Halloween weekend. You have Thursday Night Football.

49:12You mean Halloween weekend? No, I don't. You have Thursday Night Football, Panthers-Packers.

49:16You have, poor Panthers, I feel like any time the Panthers pop up.

49:19They still have the, it's like, they just have like, the Panthers brand is still not strong.

49:23Yeah, they actually played the Rams really well. Oh, great game.

49:26It was a great game. Amazing game. They almost beat the Rams twice.

49:30Thursday Night Panthers-Packers, Sunday Night is Eagles- They did beat the Rams the first time, the Panthers fans are gonna be bad.

49:35I said yeah, they almost beat them twice. Oh, yeah, okay, that's fair.

49:39I see what you mean. I see, yeah. Sunday Night is Eagles-Commanders, Monday Night is Bears-Seahawks, but I think it's a solid slate, but this is Halloween weekend.

49:46Also, you'll have, the, the, you just finished the World Series.

49:49You were probably watching that all last week. Go out and have fun.

49:53With your, with your, with your spouse, your family, your friends.

49:55Right. Dress up, you know what I mean? Yeah.

49:58You don't need to, what, what day is that?

50:00Halloween itself is on, please hold. The 31st. I'm saying what day of the week.

50:04It's on a Saturday. Oh, that's fun. That's great.

50:06Halloweekend, baby. If you could pick any holiday to be on a Saturday, which would you pick?

50:11When you're younger, it's Halloween. Yeah. I think when you're, when you're like high school, college, 20s, whatever, like it's Halloween.

50:16It's pretty ideal. Because Christmas doesn't matter. You'll always get it off when you're a kid, so who cares?

50:21And I guess even when you're working. So it doesn't matter when Christmas falls on.

50:25But Halloween, I agree. I think it has to.

50:28Also, Halloween is kind of like stuck right in the middle of no, there's not a lot of other holidays around there, right?

50:34Like if you're, because I was thinking initially like New Year's, I'm kidding.

50:37It's like three weeks. New Year's Eve. Well, yeah, but it's before it.

50:41Oh, sure. So it's like, yeah. A respite after kind of a grind.

50:44I think that's a good call. Well, but if you could pick as an adult, to me, I would pick July 4th.

50:50I think it's weird when July 4th is on like a Tuesday.

50:53No, but it disrupts the work week. That's nice.

50:55I know, but it doesn't feel right. Like the day after you like gotta go back to work?

51:00No, I think it's important. I think the 4th of July is best on like a Wednesday.

51:05Oh, really? Because there's an- You go back to work the next day.

51:08No, we don't. No one does. No one goes back to work if the 4th of July.

51:12People who have fucking real jobs do. I think there's an understanding.

51:16What are you talking about? There's an understanding. All right.

51:18Okay. It's kind of like some- This is gonna get a lot of angry.

51:22Some companies like- Yeah, some acknowledge like the next day you also get off, but I would say the majority of people

51:28if thanks- Then maybe Thursday for the 4th of July.

51:30Cause like no one's working Friday, July 5th. Give it to me Friday then.

51:34Yeah. You have Saturday then. It's great. There's no worries.

51:37I don't know. I'm curious what people think about this.

51:39The Halloween thing matters where you are in your life.

51:42Yes. By a lot. Cause like having kids on Halloween, who cares?

51:45If you're in college, Halloween is like, yeah, we're gonna go fucking crazy.

51:48Cause then the night before Halloween's Friday. You want it like, yeah, Friday or Saturday.

51:52All right. Yeah. So I'm taking week eight as a primetime slate that you can miss.

51:57That's good. Howl a weekend. I said it again.

51:59I didn't like invent that. It does exist. No, I know.

52:02I don't know. It's tough. Cause there really aren't a lot of bad games for like on the Sunday primetime slate.

52:07It is true. Yeah. They do a good job.

52:10They suck you in. They're good at this. They are good at scheduling games.

52:13This is, it actually says something about the schedule though.

52:16Every time I want to be like this weekend's primetime game sucks.

52:19Like I'm looking at like week, week eight, five and I'm like, Oh, Bucks, Cowboys.

52:23Okay. Sunday football is like Ravens, Falcons. I'm like the Falcons.

52:26And then I look at Monday football and it's Bill's Rams.

52:29And I'm like, well, that's fucking incredible. But like there is, they are really, they're amazing at scheduling that way.

52:34Uh, I guess I'll just go with, um, go ahead.

52:37Take international game. Take a kicker. I'm going to, the, the, the skippable primetime games.

52:41I'm taking week three. So you're skipping week three and week four.

52:44You're doing a back to back skip. Yeah. Fuck it.

52:46Wow. No football for basically three weeks for you.

52:49Yeah. Fuck it. Take it off. Baseball, baby. Uh, yeah.

52:51Falcons, Packers, Rams, Broncos, Eagles. It's fine. It's hard.

52:54All the primetime games are good. I don't know.

52:56Eagles, Bears, Rams, Broncos. All the primetime games are good, man.

52:59Okay. I know it's, the hardest part of this is skipping random primetime slates.

53:03That's probably the hardest selection. Yeah. You're making in this draft.

53:06All right, DK. You're up. I'm going to do, and again, it's kind of hard because there's pretty much every weekend has

53:11some good games, but I will do week 11 as the primetime slate to miss.

53:15Okay. You got Thursday night. Damn it. I had this.

53:18Colts at Texans. Yeah. I don't know. Depends. I don't know how good the Colts are.

53:22This is a good one, DK. The Colts could surprise people and go back to kind of what they were early on

53:28in the season, or they could just be pretty bad again.

53:31Kind of hard to know. The Vikings 49ers for Sunday Night Football.

53:34Again, that's like a pretty fun game, especially if Kyler Murray's playing well.

53:37By this point, we'll either know are the Vikings legitimate or is the Kyler Murray thing a miss?

53:42Yeah. And then in Monday Night Football, Bengals commanders, which again, it's actually really hard because every one of these, they did

53:48a really good job with primetime slates. I don't think there's any bad.

53:51It's also a week for. I was going to take this and it's a better pick than mine.

53:56I just kept looking at Jaden Daniels, Joe Burrow rematch on Monday Night Football.

54:00Oh, that's smart. Oh, that's actually good. Now I feel that's actually really smart.

54:03Yeah. All right. My next pick here, I'm going to take for a holiday game to watch, I'm taking Thanksgiving morning Bears-Lions.

54:09I love Thanksgiving morning. That's a great game. You get up, it's like- Not a lot of action in the house quite yet.

54:15No, it's like, again, West Coast, it's like 9am, you sit down, you're like having a cup of coffee on the couch.

54:21It's a lovely experience. Everyone's kind of just like still waking up.

54:24Yeah, everyone. Everyone in America is still waking up.

54:27I just started the sentence by saying West Coast.

54:29Yeah, no, no, no. Heifetz will never- I literally said it.

54:32He will never let you say anything about the West Coast without chirping.

54:35Yeah, where are you now, motherfucker? Where are these studios, huh?

54:38I'm taking- Where are you currently located? I'm taking the morning Thanksgiving game.

54:42If you could just handle my complaints, then you can continue to play golf on Black Friday and that's a good trade for everybody.

54:48That's right. No, that's a good- I think, so that game is amazing and I, again, my main takeaway from this other

54:54than, again, scheduling the holidays in ways that I'm worried about, you know, all over, relationships.

54:58I do think the schedule is really good this year because like that one in particular, that's the best possible Lions game.

55:04Obviously, the Lions are always in that slot on Thanksgiving, but that is two years removed from the Caleb Williams- The Eberflus.

55:09Brain fart where it's like, Matt Eberflus, like, you know, did the clock, but didn't call timeout.

55:14Caleb Williams just blew it and ran out the clock.

55:16That was like pretty easily the worst moment of Caleb Williams' entire football career at any level.

55:21That's the worst moment he's ever played and I think it hit it, it was a dagger to Caleb Williams himself because

55:27he's like- I mean, he's calling himself now the Iceman.

55:29He's the clutch guy. I don't like that, by the way.

55:32Is he calling himself that? So is Drake and that's brutal overlap at the moment.

55:36Is Drake calling himself the Iceman? Oh, Drake released three albums on the same day last- Oh, I thought you meant Drake May.

55:42He keeps doing that. Oh, no, no. He keeps doing that.

55:45No, Drake- Drake the artist. Drake the rapper. Right, okay.

55:48Kendrick Lamar did the halftime show for the 2024 NFL season and then Drake released three albums on the day the 2026

55:54schedule was released, which I didn't find very compelling.

55:56He's like- Anyway, I just think it's cool that Caleb gets to avenge in the same slot on Thanksgiving two years later

56:02the worst moment of his entire life for football.

56:04Yeah. It's a good pick. It's a good pick, he says, of his own pick.

56:08No, it's his pick. Oh, okay, gotcha. It's a compliment.

56:11Thank you. Alright, then it's up to you then.

56:13We're running out of good ones here. It's getting tricky.

56:16Yeah. I'll take a international game to skip. Ooh.

56:18I'll let you know the way Craig said that.

56:20I'm gonna wait. Oh, no, I was excited to hear what you were gonna say.

56:24Craig is affecting outcomes. Do it. This is so easy, actually.

56:27There's one international game that's, I think, worse than all the others.

56:30And it's, it's, it's, uh, Colts commanders. Hmm. And like, um, that, if you're gonna like, just be like, ah, we're gonna go pumpkin picking one morning.

56:37It's week four. It's in London. Yeah. Also London.

56:40I actually like, there's other international games. The other, like the idea, there's a game in Paris for the first time.

56:45Yeah. That actually is kind of cool. How many times have you seen the freaking London game?

56:50I don't care. It's, it's just Colts is week four Daniel Jones versus Washington.

56:53I'm like, meanwhile, if Jaden Daniels gets hurt, I'm not even turning this game on.

56:57Like that is of all the international games to skip.

57:00I think that's like, we already know enough about English culture.

57:03We don't need like the little interstitials during the game.

57:05We don't need it. I'm not doing that. They're trying to make London an official NFL city.

57:10It's like, all right. They were going to do that before the pandemic.

57:13They were going to put the Jaguars in London for half, for half their home games.

57:18They're going to do four and four. And then the pandemic happened and they couldn't do it.

57:22But this episode is brought to you by Paramount plus Beth and rip are back in a new series.

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58:09So I won the scheduled draft. Do you guys have any comments?

58:12Well, I'm sure it was hard to track, but we're going to put it up on Instagram.

58:16We'll have like a build out of these boards.

58:19And I'm curious to see. The don't get divorced draft.

58:21Which of our slates? I would love to have like, you know, like test subjects.

58:25Where? We actually have people follow each of our recommendations and see how it goes.

58:29Okay. Does anybody want to volunteer? See if they follow us.

58:32See how their marriage goes. Follow us. You know who's going to win?

58:35The guy who like took the Super Bowl off?

58:38There's no other variables. It's only how do you approach the NFL season.

58:41Text us your marital updates. Someone is going to be like one of those hundred year old people.

58:46Like what advice? He's like, I just took the Super Bowl off of my wife every Valentine's Day.

58:51What's the Brian? Is Brian Johnson? Is that the rich guy who's trying to live forever?

58:55Yeah, he was in Venice. He's measuring his boners in the middle of the night.

58:59Dude, and his sons. Can we measure? What the fuck is with that?

59:02Let's measure boners. Let's measure sex frequency. Okay. Brian Johnson was tracking the other day the chemical makeup of his wife's vagina or girlfriend.

59:08I'm not sure. And he was talking about eating her out.

59:11He at this point is- Is that phrase safe for podcasts?

59:14Sorry. For Cunnilingus. Sure. How's that? I just wanted to make him say that.

59:18At this point, I'm actually kind of convinced the whole thing has been a bit.

59:22I'm not sure. Oh, like he's a comedian? He's Andy Kaufman?

59:25It's Nathan Fielder's dude. He's like Joaquin Phoenix when he became a rapper.

59:28I'm pretty sure Brian Johnson is actually just fucking with us this entire time.

59:32Because he is posting about his and his son's boners, the hardness ratios between the two of them.

59:37The length. It's tough. It's fucking crazy. And he literally was talking about his girlfriend's privates.

59:41Sorry, I took it down to the G rating there.

59:43That's worse somehow. I can't explain why. It is private parts.

59:46I don't know why that's worse. Brenda Johnson. I believe they're married.

59:49Anyway, we need someone who will do that for the NFL schedule with their marriage.

59:53Wait, this might be the- Brenda Johnson might be married to Brian Johnson, the lead singer of ACTC.

59:58No, not her. She's probably also having a great time.

60:01The tough thing about Brian Johnson is that I feel like 10% of the things he's doing are really smart and great and everybody should be doing it.

60:08But because the other 90% is so insane, you just completely write him off.

60:12But I'm sure there are like one out of every 10 things he's doing is probably really smart.

60:16He's going to do a bunch of great stuff, figure out how to live to 200, get hit by a bus, and he's going to be like, man.

60:24Well, the funny, I'm like, you live in Venice?

60:26I don't know. LA doesn't have the best air quality and Venice is like a cool, hip, artsy place to be.

60:32I don't know. Not the safest spot. You could have picked better locations probably.

60:35Why is he not in some hidden bunker up in the hills somewhere?

60:39Yeah, he should be in the East Coast. There you go.

60:42Somewhere you can't play golf on Black Friday. That's right.

60:44Brian Johnson golfs? I don't know what that guy's doing.

60:47Look, I'll be honest. I followed him. I had to follow him on Twitter.

60:51I'm like, I gotta know what this guy's gonna fucking say next.

60:54Who's your favorite hate follow? Or like, I shouldn't say hate, but like morbid curiosity follow.

60:58Like I follow Zuck. It's the... When he started doing the wakeboarding 4th of July with the rebrand.

61:03Great rebrand. Floating wakeboard thing. That's pretty good, yeah.

61:05How much do you think he paid to be like, make me cool?

61:08That was incredible. He's like doing martial arts. He's like in shape.

61:12He's like wakeboarding. Well, you know the story. He wears a chain and like big body t-shirt.

61:16How does it make you feel that he could like probably kick your ass?

61:20Oh, definitely he can. That sucks. When Elon Musk tried to fight him and I was like, I actually would put thousands of dollars on Mark Zuckerberg.

61:27Like he actually knows how to fight. He tore his ACL doing it.

61:30The... So did Drake. The... Zuckerberg, the transformation into him just being like, I'm gonna wakeboard is gonna be cool.

61:36He's got like curly hair and a chain and he wakeboards and he's like in shape.

61:40I do have a weird, cause he's so alien to me.

61:43I love... That's a good one. I love watching him interact with the camera.

61:46Great question. And people. And people. The... Do you guys have, do you have anybody?

61:50Who's like... My morbid curiosity is the Instagram account we were talking a few weeks ago.

61:54It's the guy with the gators and the emus in Florida and the yoink guy.

61:58A very gentle yoink. The guy who goes through the Everglades in the middle of the night and he yoinks snakes and frogs.

62:04But that's just cool. No, but it is cool.

62:07But my morbid curiosity is I wonder when this man will die going through the Everglades at night and fighting snakes.

62:12He just grabs snakes. And my morbid curiosity is I wonder when this man will stop posting and then we're gonna have

62:18to go look for him in the Everglades. Yeah.

62:20But for famous people, I know that's more what you're asking.

62:23I don't know. You got anybody? I mean, it's Brian Johnson for sure.

62:27That's a good one. I'm just... Man, some good stuff in here.

62:30I don't know. But the other one I was thinking of, the first one that came to mind, which is...

62:35This is probably different than what you're thinking, but like Magic Johnson.

62:38What the fuck? His like... Congratulations to the Sparks.

62:41The Magic Johnson tweets are just fucking epic. Just the most obvious banal milk toast observations.

62:45It's so good. He's like, my team won 87 to 69.

62:48Was a hell of a victory. Go Lakers. It's even...

62:50But it's like... It's like... LeBron James was victorious today against the Utah Jazz scoring 38 points in a win at home in Los Angeles.

62:57It's like he read the box score and like summed it up.

63:00It would make more sense as an old time radio announcer with the mid-transatlantic accent, the Los Angeles Dodgers beat him a

63:0630 to 27 in a rousing victory. He's like trying to communicate every basic piece of information via tweet.

63:11It's great. Here's the tweet, by the way, from Brian Johnson from April 29th.

63:15Just gave Kate oral sex. Good night, everyone. This guy's...

63:17He can't be being serious. He knows what he's doing.

63:20So do you think he was sober? And then he followed that up with said, they did a test on her vagina.

63:26Oh, he doesn't drink. Sorry. They did a test on her vagina.

63:29You think he's drinking like whiskey? Good point. He's not drinking.

63:32So like... Hold on, hold on. He said... He followed that up and said this is her vaginal microbiome report.

63:37100 out of 100 score. Her top 1% of all vaginas.

63:40It can't be real. So you would say... Is that the vagina combine?

63:43He said it wrong. The vagina is in the 99th percentile.

63:46Yeah, exactly. That's wrong. It's the 99th percentile. What about the relative athletic score?

63:50What's the RAS for the... Where's he getting this data set from?

63:53What's the three cone behind it? Oh God, Jesus.

63:55This is crazy. Um, anyway. I'll stop. You're right though.

63:58He will get hit by a bus probably. I'm not rooting for that, but...

64:02Right. Cosmic retribution. All right. Well... Want to talk about your wedding?

64:05Yeah, probably. On that note. Speaking of... TK and I flew to DC.

64:08It was a lovely weekend. Weather was great. It was.

64:11Heifetz did a really cool thing where his wedding was like...

64:14Spots in DC that he and Jackie... That mean a lot to he and Jackie.

64:18And they were all within walking distance of each other.

64:20So there was literally like four locations throughout the evening and night.

64:23Where they got married in one place. And then you'd walk somewhere else across the street for dinner.

64:28And then you walk across the street to the dancing and the speeches.

64:32And then there was an after party bar. It was really well done.

64:35A great way to explore a city. You did a great job.

64:38And it was funny because we talked a couple times during the whole process.

64:42I was like, oh, it's so fun to see what Hyvitz...

64:45How he's like living. I always just picture him in this little closet where he's recording.

64:49That's the only thing. That's the only place he goes in my mind.

64:52I never know. I never realized that he actually goes out of his house.

64:56And the area that he lives is like DC is like very vibrant.

64:59And there's lots of cool bars and a lot of young people.

65:03I was like... 14th Street. I was like, damn, is Hyvitz cool?

65:06Holy shit. He's fucking killing it out here. This is his city.

65:09And then he, during the wedding was like, we just wanted you guys to experience what it is for us.

65:14And I was like, fuck, I got got. That definitely happened.

65:17It was fun. It was good planning. We had a really good time.

65:20I have a lot of people I want to thank.

65:23Every vendor we worked with was awesome. But yeah, we wanted to have a wedding that felt local, like our neighborhood.

65:29We very much did want to have you guys experience a little slice of our life.

65:33And so every place we went to, and we did a lot.

65:36Shout out Tabard Inn. We got married there. Went to our first date.

65:39Shout out Residence Cafe in Washington, DC, which is our favorite restaurant.

65:42Went there for a first date. Went there. We got engaged.

65:45That place was great. Got married there. We had the best time.

65:48And honestly, shout out Deb and Lucy. Lucy's best bartender in the city.

65:52And they had amazing drinks and everything. But like, we just loved it because it's like, it's so beautiful.

65:57But like, we walk there. Like we walked to Tabard.

66:00Like, literally, we could have walked home if we wanted to.

66:02And like, the friends we have who came from out of town, what I like is the in-town friends, also like could

66:08have walked and we just liked the idea that like, it's not like a random place.

66:12Like these are places we walk by every day.

66:15Like even the place we had the party at the end, like we don't go there all the time.

66:20But I walk by it every day. And we liked the idea that like you guys could experience that.

66:25It was really fun. You guys were awesome too.

66:27So, you guys were fun. You guys were good hang too.

66:30Like you guys actually stayed. Craig. Craig's like, yeah.

66:32No, it was fun. We had a really good time.

66:35You guys did a great job on your vows.

66:37The vows were just, I mean, everybody, no dry eyes in the house.

66:41Everyone was crying. And like, you know, it was really beautiful seeing you guys.

66:44I thought everything was like very well thought out.

66:47So I credit you for that. It was like a great time.

66:50Unlike this show, it was very well planned. It was.

66:53It went off without a hitch. I thought your dad and Jackie's mom.

66:56The idea that they passed out espresso martinis to everybody was just cool move.

67:00Your dad and Jackie's mom had great speeches. Your brother and Jackie's brother, great speeches.

67:04Um, great dancing. We did the, the horror, which was super fun.

67:07Yeah. Uh huh. Went up in the chair. As the same family guy, I want to be top Jew.

67:12We lifted you up, your dad. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God.

67:15We woke him up so we could do it.

67:17Did you see the interaction I had with my dad?

67:20Cause the way it is, it's like. You're like, hold on.

67:23Cause like there was a very intimate moment between Heifetz and his father that only I saw where like after we had

67:28brought Heifetz down from the chair, he kind of looked over everybody was just kind of doing their own thing.

67:34And he kind of looked over at his dad who was sitting down in the dance floor area.

67:38And, and Heifetz just kind of pointed, it was all nonverbal.

67:41And he was kind of like pointed like, you want to go to, you want to do the chair thing?

67:46And then his dad was just like, a very subtle like shrug.

67:50Like I wouldn't mind it. Yeah. Get him in the chair.

67:52Get him in the chair. It was very sweet.

67:55Oh dude. I, I have to say that, you know.

67:57Your dad's speech was hilarious. My dad's very rambling, but wonderful and lovely.

68:01I feel like I told the story on. Somewhat scatterbrained.

68:04But wonderful. Can I tell the story about, from Heifetz's dad's speech?

68:07Oh yeah. Saving the dog. Oh my God. This was fun.

68:10You guys suck. Okay. Heifetz never fucking told us about this first of all.

68:13Well you tell, tell. I'll tell the story based on what happened, based on Stan Heifetz's storytelling.

68:18Should we set the stage of how I had to hold the mic for him?

68:22Right. Okay. Let's go even deeper. Okay. The restaurant was split, right?

68:25There's a second floor and a first floor. And so like basically all the younger people were up on the second level of the restaurant eating.

68:32And the lower level had all of the parents and stuff.

68:35So the speeches took place on the first floor.

68:37So where we were sitting at dinner, we could not see them, but they piped the audio through the speakers, which is really well done.

68:43And I thought- We could only hear the speeches.

68:46We couldn't see them. My only real anxiety with the wedding was like, I was a little worried about like the two

68:52floor thing and you can't see the speech. But I was like, I've been to other weddings and like sometimes you can't see as far away.

68:58I was like, it's fine. However, I thought the audio, it had to be good.

69:02It was like a podcast. It was great. Yeah.

69:05But I was like, it has to be. But I thought, I was like, as long as everyone's talking into the microphone, it's fine.

69:11But the moment the microphone cuts out, then everyone's just quietly in a room waiting for every fourth word.

69:16And I'm like, that's an eternity for like, so I was like, that's the only rules.

69:20My dad is talking to the mic. So of course he starts and he is just waving this thing.

69:25He is incapable of holding it. And after the third time I had so much anxiety about everyone.

69:30I'm sure it's not be here. I grabbed the mic from him and I held it there the entire time.

69:35So I was the mic. So the whole speech, I am just holding it for him so he could talk.

69:40And the audio was crisp. Yeah. So anyways, Stan tells this great story about how, well, first of all, it was beautiful

69:46and it was very cool because like both Jackie's mom and Stan, Heifetz's mom or dad, sorry, told stories about how they're,

69:52you know, standing up for their friends against bullies.

69:54It was great. Like, truthfully, I was like, not weeping, but I had like, you know, I was crying a little bit.

70:00It was great. That being said, the story about you saving a dog from a frozen lake.

70:05Basically what I understand is you're on a walk with your mom.

70:08Your mom's friend's dog went out onto this frozen lake and fell into the lake.

70:12Heifetz without even- A pond is not a lake.

70:14Okay, whatever. Fell into the frozen water. Heifetz without even hesitating fucking starts stripping off his clothes and he said it was like- Running like David Hasselhoff.

70:21Clothes coming off. It was like Westchester Baywatch? Westchester Baywatch.

70:24It was really good. I just thought the vision of Heifetz like running and throwing his clothes off so he can save a Pomeranian.

70:30Thrashing through the icy water. They said he got all cut up.

70:33His dad was like, his thighs were bleeding. We were like, why were his thighs bleeding?

70:37Because I first pictured like more of a Minnesota thing where you're trying to lay on the ice and grab the dog out.

70:43But apparently he's like wading into the water and the ice is cutting up his thighs.

70:48Because the ice was so thin that the dog, which is not a huge dog, broke through the ice.

70:53The dog fell through. So my fear was that if I went out to the middle of the ice to get the

70:58dog, but then I broke through, like I just felt that was like really bad.

71:02Yeah. And I felt like I had to break a lane to the dog because that way I wanted the way back had to be easier.

71:09He's an icebreaker. The way easier just- I felt like the only thing I knew in the moment was like the way

71:15back has to be easier than the way there.

71:17And I was like, I need to clear a lane.

71:20He thought this all out as he's taking off all his clothes.

71:23Yeah, no. But um, yeah. So then he saved this dog and then his brother got all mad at him because he could have died.

71:30Well, my brother, my brother was, he's a firefighter.

71:32He was like, he was an EMT at the time or like had been an EMT for a couple years.

71:37And he basically was like, do you realize how like how he, my brother, in his loving way was basically like, do

71:43you have any idea how if you had got hypothermia you would have just fucking died?

71:47Like did anyone think? He's screaming at my mom.

71:50My mom's like, did anyone think to call 911?

71:52He's like, no one, nobody. Anyway. But it was, yeah.

71:55So my dad told that story. The other one was, I, it was funny from my perspective because my dad told the

72:00story that I actually had forgotten about, about one of my teammates on high school football team.

72:05He had to walk home from two days and we, I just saw it a couple of times.

72:10And so we would pick him up. We'd go to Burger King every day and like, you know, and then I hear this cackling from upstairs.

72:16And I was like, he knew in me that would happen, which was my friends upstairs were like, fuck that.

72:22Danny just wanted Burger King. That's not being nice.

72:24It's like he wants chicken fingers. He's like using this kid to get Burger King.

72:28He wants some chicken fries. That's good. It was great though.

72:31There was a lot of stories about, honestly, you and Jackie are great for one another.

72:35You're such good people. And there was, there was so many stories about how great of people the two of you are.

72:41And the fact that you found one another is very touching and sweet.

72:44Cause you deserve each other. The best, the line I will, the best line that everyone came up to me after from

72:50the vows is I was reading my vows and I was like, cause you're talking about how we're in different fields.

72:56And I was saying Jack and I were doing work together one time and we were like working together at the same table.

73:02And she was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm writing an article on how Julio Jones and AJ

73:07Brown will fit together as receivers on the Tennessee Titans.

73:10I'm really stressed. This sucks. Don't bother me. I was like, what are you doing?

73:14And she's like, I'm figuring out how many refugees will flee Afghanistan next year.

73:18Everyone lost it. And then I gave her the laptop.

73:20But yeah, puts things in perspective. Also at the end of the night, we all ended up.

73:25So first of all, we danced hard. I've never, I don't think I've ever sweat harder than I did.

73:30That was the most human. It was a sweaty night.

73:32It was a sweaty dance. The only part that made me upset was the Kid Cudi, uh, Pursuit of Happiness came on and then I couldn't find you.

73:40Oh, it's all right. It's the only, it's. We got, we got levels though.

73:43We got levels. Yeah. I was going to say, that was good.

73:47That was where we did like the New York Giants or sorry, the San Francisco Giants hump thing.

73:51Yeah. That's banned by the way. That was fair.

73:54You studied the blood flow. That was free bugs.

73:56Exactly. No, it's just science. And then at the end, we went to this other bar.

74:00Shout out Muni in DC. Best sports bar in the city.

74:03Shout out Muni. That was really fun because a bunch of really drunk people got to go swing golf clubs.

74:08Yeah. And you get like the fake, the fake golf thing where you hit the ball and it tells you how far that would have gone or whatever.

74:16And then there was also, for some reason I was really hell bent on playing soccer that night.

74:20I don't know why. You can kick soccer with the simulators.

74:23You can also kick a soccer ball. I was like, Heifetz, we got to go do this soccer thing.

74:28And we go over and I missed the first like legitimately like 10 shots.

74:32This goalie was fucking good. You could have been English PKs.

74:35And it was like starting to get embarrassing. And then finally I made one and I was like, okay, thank God.

74:40And then your friend. Alexa. Yeah. Well, someone came up and did like one of the ones where you just like barely

74:46kick it and the guy dove too quickly and it rolled past him.

74:50It worked. I was like, son of a bitch.

74:52I've been kicking it as hard as that. But then your other friend and he was the offensive lineman Sean.

74:57He was doing the lineman like pass sets on the dance floor.

75:00I'm like, damn, this guy's freaking locked in. And then he comes up and just a trebuchet of a leg.

75:06Just fucking. He was, he was making it almost every time.

75:09I was like, this is, this is what it feels like to be like playing against someone who's actually a good athlete.

75:14Don't forget offensive linemen are huge. The biggest people, you know, and also the most athletic leader.

75:19I haven't kicked a ball since I was in eighth grade.

75:22And then there's this guy and he kept, he kept coming over and consoling me.

75:26Cause I was like, what the fuck you are just, that is like a piss missile.

75:30I was like, I was like gassing him up and he came over.

75:33He's like, my brother was D1 man. Like, and then I was gonna, I had you guys.

75:38D1 in soccer. I wanted you to do the touch my shoulder thing, which is like an offensive lineman thing.

75:43And it's like, he didn't even, he was supposed to play D1 and then he, as an offensive lineman, and then he

75:49got, he had this like neck shoulder injury so he couldn't.

75:52And then, but like someone who even just was offered D1 and then had to rescind it, didn't even play.

75:57And it's like touch his shoulder and it's like fucking impossible.

76:00It's just like such a good reminder of like, It's like, oh, hands and arms.

76:04Everything's like so big and heavy. Just the violence of like, but also the speed of just like, and it just like

76:09you can't, and it literally looks like you're like a child's trying to like go, like, you know when Scrappy-Doo is just like holding the little like, Totally.

76:17You know what I mean? Tom and Jerry away from you.

76:20It's like, ah, this is so like, they are different than us.

76:23Demoral. Anyways, it was super fun. And I was like legit sore.

76:26My leg, my leg was super sore the next day from soccer.

76:29So anyways, that was fun. It was awesome. I loved, I appreciate you guys being on.

76:33It was kind of like almost like a bar hopping vibe.

76:36We kind of went, honestly, it was like four different places.

76:39Are you used to the ring? Okay. So I lost the ring on Monday.

76:43Okay. Dude, it was like perfect. Two days. It was the perfect day.

76:46A real, just a day really. We had the best weekend ever.

76:49And obviously it was like, Tons of stress before and everything, but then like the weekend comes together.

76:54I couldn't have literally everything, the way the vendors went, like the weather, like every possible imaginable thing fell together, including things that go wrong.

77:01Didn't even matter. And it's like, it goes through it.

77:03Everything was perfect. Sunday was amazing. Like we had the best and Monday was amazing.

77:07I took her out to dinner. It was great.

77:10Come back and we're at dinner at this great, this is a restaurant, Uchi, that just opened at DC.

77:15It's fantastic. And we went and she's like, is it weird wearing a ring?

77:18And I'm like, yeah. And I look and I don't have it.

77:21And I'm like, no, she did this when I proposed to her, but she knew where it was.

77:26She was doing the dishes and she took it off.

77:29I go back. I'm like, I took a shower.

77:31And I'm like, Oh God, I don't know where it is.

77:34And so I like spiral a little bit. I'm gonna freak it out.

77:37I'm like, man, this like everlasting symbol of love.

77:40I immediately fucking lost one day. And I'm like, two, one and a half.

77:44And I was like 36 hours. I made it for 50 hours.

77:47And I was like, fuck, I was really upset.

77:49And then we're going, we're going to go to Springsteen or something next week in DC.

77:53And then my brother calls me. I was like, what do you fucking want?

77:57I need my ring. And I was, and then I found it, but I never left the apartment.

78:02I was literally just doing chores, cleaning up and everything.

78:04And then I panicked. And then I had a Menti B and then I just had to like recover.

78:09But then I did find it. Did you say a Menti B?

78:12Like a mental break. A little Menti B. Is that some kind of new drug thing that you take out of it?

78:18I was like, no, Menti B. No, I was like just upset.

78:21Like Mentos, the fresh maker. I found it in this random bin of like stuff that we had to, I was consolidating all our wedding stuff.

78:28Did it fall off or you took it off?

78:31I still don't really know. It was in a bin.

78:33It was like in this bin. It was clearly it happened between like, must have been a few like one and four.

78:39I don't know. But I found it. Am I glad I found it before I came here?

78:43Oh my God. So now I've learned a valuable lesson to not play with this thing.

78:48Do you, what do you do? Do you keep it on when you sleep or shower?

78:52What do you do? No. You take it off to sleep.

78:55I basically just wear it in public for the most part.

78:58I don't like wearing. I wear it all day, every day, except when I sleep.

79:02I don't know why it bothers me when I sleep.

79:04Let me tell you something. I've learned boys. I'm not taking this fucking thing off anymore.

79:08I am. Oh my God. That was stressful. Yeah.

79:11Um, so yeah, uh, I'll take any, if, should we have any advice?

79:14Need some advice. Wife advice? I kind of want one of the seven to email in.

79:18We teased wife advice last episode, but now that we actually all have wives, I think we need to do a full wife advice episode, I think.

79:25Yeah. Um, I don't even really know what, what the seven will be advising us on.

79:30I think we should start with like, should, I think now that Jimmy Garoppolo seems like he's going to retire, we do

79:35need to figure out who the hottest quarterback in the NFL is.

79:39Oh. So I think the question is, do we do it through the male gaze or the female gaze?

79:44Maybe the seven vote. Well, I think it'd be interesting to do both.

79:47What we should do is the three of us should make our ranking and then we should have the seven.

79:52I, without knowing anything about the world, I would have been like, well, Pete Davidson's last.

79:56Right. You know what I mean? And then I've never liked, like men just don't, or like the, we were joking about the Counting Crows guy.

80:03Oh yeah. Didn't he date Adam Duritz? He dated, he dated both of them.

80:07That's fucking insane. He looks like Guy Fieri. Like, it's like, how the fuck did he date both of them?

80:12Tennis player? Yeah. Dude, musicians, you get away with anything.

80:15I feel like our age, that's everybody's dream. That's actually probably the only thing that unites millennial men is like, wishing you could have dated both of them.

80:22Anderson and Cox. That's, that's wild. It's pretty wild.

80:25Looks like Guy Fieri. But yeah, we should do that.

80:27We should have the seven concoct their, their ranking.

80:30I think 32 to one of all of the starting quarterbacks.

80:32That's the 32nd hottest. I want to know. We're putting you to, like, this is a lot of work.

80:37It is a lot of work. 32nd hottest quarterback in the NFL.

80:41And then, and then we'll do the same. Oh yeah.

80:43I also think we should just get general advice.

80:46Yeah. About what? I don't know. We need to get some advice on.

80:49I don't know. Yeah. Marriage. Honestly, we started with the nut kicking.

80:52We just did this NFL schedule job. Maybe we get wife advice around how they want their husbands or their partners to handle the NFL season properly.

80:59If they're listening to the show, they're probably the ones in the relationship where like, I gotta watch this game.

81:04That's true. They're like, you want to take me to dinner on Valentine's Day?

81:08Do you know it's the Super Bowl? I gotta watch this game.

81:11However, if you're listening in the car and you are the partner that is not as into football.

81:16Yeah, we want your takes. Email us how you kind of go about the season and how you handle it.

81:21Yeah. That's what we want. That's wife advice. Can you just do one of it?

81:25Even if you're not a wife. Do the Womadunze.

81:28Womadunze. Caleb Williams. Dwayne. Dwayne. Dwayne. Dwayne. Dwayne. Erwin Wadgers.

81:30It goes on and on. Jaywin Hertz. Kyler Murray's a good one.

81:33Kyler Murray. Murray. All right. Any else? No. Are there nice things you want to say about me?

81:38No, that was enough. It's my only one all year.

81:41I get one every year. Yeah. Once a year.

81:43We're going to go to a bar tonight. Watch a Knicks game with you.

81:47Dude. Oh, Weminyama I think is the way. Although this episode is going to come out like four days after that game.

81:53Yeah. Well, I think we'll see what happens with that series.

81:55But I do think that Weminyama is the chance to do what Otani did last year, which is like kind of single-handedly

82:01bring the sport across the precipice into like, I think Otani and the Dodgers run past basketball as the second best sport.

82:07And it's really, we obviously talked about how Otani is like unprecedented.

82:10And we actually do, Weminyama is also, like that 30 foot shot, I know at this point it was like a week ago.

82:16But you're like, okay, this is, that's weird. He is like legitimately unlike anything I've ever seen in any sport.

82:21Yeah. Even more so than Otani. Otani doesn't look weird.

82:24He's just doing two things. He's just really tall, Otani is.

82:27Yeah. But like, you know. That's it. Weminyama doesn't make any anatomical sense.

82:30No, because Otani is built. Like when he hits a home run, you're like, Jesus.

82:34But like there are other 6'4", 6'5", baseball players.

82:37Yeah. Weminyama is six foot, seven foot five, six, whatever you want to say he is.

82:41And he can hit threes and he's fucking taking the ball up the court.

82:45Well, I was joking that like, Weminyama, that like backwards reverse Alliupi did to like seal the game, the week, the game one versus the Thunder.

82:51It's funny because like, I'm not an NBA player.

82:54Probably never will be. Probably. That's no offense. Never say never.

82:57Never say never. I don't want to brag. Probably never going to be.

83:00Probably. That like, throw it right at the rim and let him dunk.

83:03First thing I would have thought of. I don't really understand why it took so long.

83:08Every time I walk it on my guard, I do it every time.

83:11Do it every time. He's throwing the ball down through the hoop.

83:14I gotta tell you. Very frequently. I think I'm on the cutting edge of NBA strategy.

83:18Do you know what I think, I swear to God, would be the best point guard for Weminyama?

83:23Mitchell Robinson, the center on the Knicks who shoots 35% from the free throw line.

83:27Because his free throw shooting is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

83:30He looks like he's trying to miss the free throw.

83:33He's trying to hit the front rim to get the rebound.

83:36But he shoots it like one inch above. And I'm like, for Weminyama, that's perfect.

83:40And if Mitchell Robinson just did a free throw every time.

83:43Just throwing line drives. Yeah, just line drives. Weminyama would catch.

83:46I'm like, no one can stop this. It'd be cool if, for the worst free throw shooter on every NBA team like

83:51Mitchell Robinson, it'd be cool if the Knicks could be like, we'll take anyone from the crowd to shoot instead of Mitchell

83:57Robinson, because we think they'll have a better shot.

83:59That's what the Savannah Bananas would do. Like, literally anyone can come down at 30.

84:0335%? I actually think a quarter of the men in a crowd at it.

84:07Craig, you can hit 2 out of 5. Like, 35% is...

84:10Oh, free throws I could hit 8 out of 10.

84:13Oh, free throws. Okay, yeah. I actually kind of think I could do better than 3 out of...

84:17What was your... You said 2 out of 5 from 3?

84:20I think I said 3 out of 5. I would like to think I could hit 40%.

84:25From the corner? 3 out of 5. But you're like during the game though.

84:28You have to have free throws. By the way, Craig, this is hilarious too, because I'm just picturing them pulling Craig out of the crowd for like a...

84:36In a playoff game, very important stakes. Craig did this when he hit the half court shot to win the truck that actually wasn't a...

84:42He didn't actually win it, it was a lease.

84:45Correct. I've seen the video. Craig comes out and he's like fucking hamming it up.

84:49I have to say... He's like pretending he's gonna do it granny style efforts.

84:52He acted like he was gonna make it the whole time, which was pretty...

84:56You have to! And then he made it. I was like Jesus, man.

84:59But you didn't celebrate that much. He rizzed up the crowd before he hit the half court shot.

85:04I was like pretty impressive. Yeah, the other day at the office.

85:07So yeah, I'm just picturing that. Anyway, I don't have a Toyota Tacoma now.

85:11Maybe Toyota can make it up to you. It's like the lifetime guarantee.

85:14It would be full circle if they sponsored the show.

85:17If the Toyota Tacoma sponsored the show. Now we're talking.

85:20That's not an ad. Heifetz, though, to get back really what you said.

85:23Very proud of you. Good job on the wedding.

85:25It was super fun to see. Like I said, it was like an emotional thing.

85:29It was very cool to be in your city and get to experience your life.

85:33Obviously, like what we experience of your DC life is very limited.

85:36So this was very fun. And Jackie is amazing.

85:39Jackie's like the best. Love Jackie. Dude, I nailed it with that.

85:42Yeah, she is awesome. So that was super fun.

85:44And yeah, just really proud of you. Love you.

85:47And yeah, it was great. All right, that's enough of that.

85:50That's really earnest. I do love you guys. Thanks for coming.

85:52Yeah, I literally was like, thank you guys for coming.

85:55You guys came from a long way. And Craig looked at me and was like, I would have gone to Australia for this.

86:01I appreciate it. Like six times. Like the other night, he's like, thank you so much for coming, you guys.

86:06I'm like, dude, of course. We have modern airplanes now.

86:09Well, it's what's funny about doing, you know, it's so funny.

86:12People kept asking me like, how are you doing at the welcome drinks?

86:15It was on Friday night. And I kept, it's the stupidest comment you could imagine.

86:19But I was at my welcome drinks and I was like, honestly, I keep looking around the room and I'm like, wow, I think I know everybody here.

86:27It's a very bizarre feeling. Right, right, right, right.

86:29But I'm like, it is, it's as my friend Bobby said, like, it's just the ultimate crossover episode.

86:34And you're like, I see you two talking to like my friends from elementary school.

86:38You're like, oh, there's my aunt. There's my childhood best friend.

86:40There's my coworker. It's bizarre. Yeah. And then you're like, what are they even talking about?

86:45Oh my God, they went to like the same college or something.

86:48You know, it's just yeah, it's yeah, it was.

86:50Yeah, it was great to meet all your friends or see them again for the second or third time.

86:55It's nice because half the time, like when you guys come here, it's like we're mostly just working and get out and

87:01we like don't really get to do any of the fun parts of LA.

87:05Same with even like when we like DC, it's like live show.

87:08You get in, you prepare, you do the show, you leave.

87:11It was nice to just have time to be in one of our cities with nothing to do except hang out.

87:16Yeah. That's why like your wedding was so fun.

87:19Like I rented a red convertible Mustang. Jack and I drove up.

87:22Yeah, you went full like Richard Deere, American Jigolo.

87:24It was the fucking best. That's awesome. Jack had never been to LA.

87:28I got about that, yeah. And I was like, we're driving.

87:30So we just did the PCH, you know, through Malibu, all that stuff is the best.

87:35And it's like, it was amazing. But also there's a certain magic when you're close to the person getting married.

87:40But when you're a groomsman, you're kind of in charge of, you have nothing to do, but you're also kind of in charge of vibes.

87:46Yeah. You're kind of like anything that happens, you have to do, you're in charge of vibes.

87:51But when you're like kind of close enough, but you're not close enough to be a groomsman, it's kind of like, man,

87:57like we can just do whatever the fuck we want.

87:59Like we're free. It's great. And like, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, it's fun.

88:03Absolutely. All right. So thank you guys for coming to my wedding.

88:06Yeah. Thank you to Jackie for being the love of my life and not being that mad when I lost my ring ever so briefly.

88:12I misplaced it briefly. You know, when I, we did the rewatchables cold weather tour where we did four rewatchables on the

88:18East Coast in five nights, which looking back on it is insane.

88:21We did Chicago, DC, Philly, New York in five nights.

88:24So we would like do a show, go to bed, wake up, fly to DC, do the show, go to bed, wake up.

88:30And I was in DC. Can you take the train from DC to Philly?

88:34Yes. Yes. I was in DC. We did a show.

88:36I took my ring off because I remember because it happened at the train station and I couldn't remember the city.

88:42I took my ring off to go to bed, woke up in my DC hotel, left the hotel, went to the train station.

88:48The train arrived. I put my hand on my other hand.

88:51Oh my God. I left my fucking ring. I saw, I literally like sprinted out, called an Uber, called the hotel on the way, went back.

88:58Oh my God. Obviously I missed my train. They had the ring and I ended up figuring out, I got to Philly

89:03on time and it was all fine. But it was then that I was like, I will never take my ring off on the road ever again.

89:10Yeah. That's how I feel. All right. Well, thank you guys.

89:13Thank you to Carlos and CT and Austin and Abu.

89:16And I, there's like so many, we're in the Sycamore studios and there's like so many people there.

89:21Thank you to everyone here. Thank you again. Shout out to Muni, shout out to Fathom Gallery in DC, shout out to Liz, my wedding planner.

89:28If you need a wedding, if you need wedding people in DC, hit me up.

89:31Mm. Uh, Liz, uh, Liz Allen, Weddings by Liz, amazing.

89:34And shout out my photographer, Mike, and then Mitch, videographer.

89:37They did amazing. Sure. The whole squad. Yeah. Hank's Oyster Bar.

89:40Thank you, Nate. Thank you, everybody. My efficient fist was the greatest efficient of all time.

89:44He nailed it. He nailed it. Dude, he was amazing.

89:46He was really good. Yeah. Like he actually like, I was sitting in the middle of him like, fuck, this is my wedding.

89:53This is sick. He kind of mocked you. He mocked you as a host.

89:56He did. Yeah. He did. He's like Jackie's friend from home.

89:59He host Max. He was amazing. What's the little joke he made?

90:02You put your left hand in? Oh my God.

90:05Why am I on King? What's the name of that song?

90:07The Hokey Pokey. Yeah. He tricked us into doing the Hokey Pokey during the- Rick Roll.

90:12It was like Norm MacDonald level, like four minute commitment to a bit.

90:15And I was like, I would never have had the confidence to try that.

90:19He did amazing. He also said love is, people call marriage like work.

90:22And he's like, it's actually volunteering. Cause like, volunteering is like a lot of work.

90:26You have to do it every day, but it's actually fulfilling.

90:29And like, I thought that was actually really like profound.

90:32I was like, yeah, it's not work. It's like you volunteer every day to do stuff.

90:36Yeah. And it leaves you with like a, actual warmth.

90:38Okay. He killed it. It's a lot of that.

90:41Thank you, Evan, for listening to this draft and also about my wedding.

90:44But of course- For all the guys out there, don't get divorced.

90:47And the wives. All of them. Don't get divorced.

90:50Figure out how to watch football in an equitable way.

90:52I thought that was like your marriage advice. Don't get divorced.

90:55Well, unless you want to. I don't know. Sometimes, you know.

90:58Sometimes it's right back. Yeah, maybe it's fast. Sometimes it's better that way.

91:02Sometimes it's whatever works. Thank you, Lord! Lord! Thank you, House of Pain.

91:05Oh, yeah. You did? Oh, yeah. I was so glad I found you for Jump Around.

91:09Yeah, one of my favorite memories of the after party was Jump Around.

91:13It was good. I was like, this is for my generation.

91:16Let's do this. And everyone else is like, I've never heard this song.

91:19But I also found- You've never heard this song.

91:21I'm just kidding. Come on. I also found each other for the- Oh, now I'm blanking.

91:25The wedding song. That's the beginning. The wedding crashers montage song.

91:28Oh, yeah. Shout? Yeah, shout. Damn. I feel like- I guess you're- What's funny.

91:32I feel like- I guess younger people do know that from wedding crashers and not Animal House.

91:37Yeah, I think- I guess wedding crashers is the wedding.

91:39I mean, I hate to say it, but it's 30 years later.

91:42Yeah. I mean, Animal House isn't a wedding. But I- Interesting.

91:45Right? Isn't it 76 for Animal House? 78. Yeah, when it crashed in 2006.

91:49Yeah. Wow, 30 years. And it is a wedding, but it's crazy how much that stuck.

91:53Yeah. That like- It's a staple. I have- I cannot remember a wedding I've been to where Shout is not played.

91:59I was gonna- Yeah, I was gonna say, did it actually go up after that?

92:03Or has it always been that way? You mean since wedding crashers or Animal House?

92:06Since wedding crashers. Had to have gone up. I think so.

92:09I wonder if it happened at weddings after Animal House or if the wedding thing was just from wedding crashers.

92:15I don't think brides were looking at Animal House and being like this.

92:18Maybe the bros though. The bros maybe. No, the shout was not invented from wedding crashers.

92:22No, it was- No, it was- Because it's like the most popular wedding song.

92:26Animal House is like- Right, right, right. An introduction into like the way the crowd reacts and getting on the floor and the whole thing.

92:32Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if that translated to weddings after Animal House or after Wedding Crashers.

92:37What day is this show coming out? Monday. Did the rewatchables for Animal House come out today?

92:42It'll have come out that night. So, and I don't know if Bill's announced it yet, so I don't wanna say- He said it on the show.

92:49That's how I know about it. Oh, great. Then yeah.

92:51We're doing Animal House. Great. Nice. That's how we learn about stuff.

92:55Yeah, so then our episode will come out like 12 hours before Animal House will.

92:58Oh, right. Thank you, Lord! No, I did that.

93:01We did that at House of Haines. Yeah, yeah.

93:03Okay. Are they One Hit Wonder? I think so.

93:06Wow. That's a sneaky good pick for One Hit Wonder.

93:08It is. I don't think of them that way.

93:11I'm sure there's somebody who's gonna be like, how dare you forget- Yeah.

93:14Celebrate their entire collection. They're second best song. It's like when I was like, Rod Stewart, is he like popular?

93:19And he's like, he has the largest collection of humans on earth.

93:22He's literally the biggest. Yeah. Oh no, I mean, jump around, 756 million plays.

93:26The next song, 23 million. That's the next song.

93:28That's probably the- That's probably the- It's called Top of the Morning to ya.

93:32And a lot of those might be legacy. Yeah, that's probably- It's like we accidentally left it on play and then it went to the next song.

93:39Yeah. It's like when like the show after the Super Bowl is a really high rating.

93:43Yeah. When they brag about that, I'm like- It's like CBS's Tracker is the number one show in America.

93:48That's just- I always laugh when they do that.

93:51It's just smart though. It's smart. They need to put us on after the Super Bowl.

93:55I was gonna say it and then we'll be like, yeah.

93:58Who do we gotta talk to about? Who do we gotta follow up?

94:01Yeah. On Netflix. Get your boy Ted. My boy Ted.

94:04Hey Ted. You had him on the town. Can you put us after Stranger Things finale?

94:08Push us for no reason. Yeah. You know, shoot or shoot.

94:11That's true. I'll text him. I don't have his number.

94:14That's true. Goodbye everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states.

94:17For Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. Or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming.

94:22Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut.

94:26Or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts.

94:31Or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text hope ny in New York.

94:33For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867. Call 1-877-770-7867. Thank you. you'll be right back.

94:36Thank you.

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