0:00This episode is brought to you by Chevrolet. Chevy drivers need a truck that shows up the same way they do.
0:00That's why Chevy Silverado is number one in manufacturer loyalty.
0:00So they can go where others won't. Make their own way there and always get it done.
0:00And as long as Chevy people keep showing up, we'll keep building trucks that do the same.
0:00Chevrolet. Together, let's drive. Visit chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup.
0:00This message is brought to you by Apple Card.
0:00Shave ice by the beach. A trip to the state fair.
0:00And a throwback flick at the local drive-in. They're more than just items to check off the summer bucket list.
0:00There are also opportunities to earn 2% daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay.
0:00Apply for Apple Card now and use in minutes with Apple Pay.
0:00Subject to credit approval, Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch, terms, and more at AppleCard.com.
0:00This episode is presented by Verizon. While you're upgrading your fantasy roster, check out how you can level up your game day with Verizon Shine.
0:00Beginning this Monday, August 31st, Verizon customers can win VIP flyaway experiences with their favorite NFL team.
0:00Enter on the My Verizon app for your chance to win one of these once-in-a-lifetime trips.
0:00Keep checking the app for season-long perks like ticket offers, exclusive merch, and more from Verizon Shine.
0:00No purchase necessary for the NFL flyaway sweepstakes. See Verizon Shine for details.
0:00We're your fantasy football live draft powered by Verizon.
0:00Wow, voice crack, right? Do we have to give them their money back?
0:00All right, Verizon, I'll get you back for that later.
0:00My name is Danny Heifetz. I am joined here by Chris Ryan, Sean Fennessy, Dave Chang, Joe House, Cousin Sal, Bill Simmons,
0:00Craig Horlbeck, Danny Kelly, Tate Frazier, Van Lathan, and Mallory Rubin.
0:00And we have a great draft here where almost nobody else's voice is going to crack for the rest of the show.
0:00And we have some wrinkles ready here, including, you'll notice, no technology, no phones, no laptops.
0:00It's for Mallory Rubin's request. I just think that this is fascistic and shameful and contrary to the spirit of the exercise.
0:00Fascistic, that sounds like fascistic, but it's fine. Well, it's the brand.
0:00I get why you're mad because you came in first place, right?
0:00You won last year despite all the complaining. But unlike you, I like to think about other people and what is best for the collective.
0:00Well, I'm glad you said that because speaking of thinking of other people, and this makes it a little awkward, we actually do have something for you, Mallory.
0:00Oh, you're going to acknowledge my title? All right, so Mallory, you did win.
0:00So we actually did get you something. I can't give her a man.
0:00As you said, we have something for you, and this guy walks off.
0:00All right, that's going to be fun. Do I magically lift this?
0:00It's a J-Head bug. It's a trophy. I think it's a trophy.
0:00I'm going to ignore what Bill said. Here we go.
0:00Oh. Damn. Did this guy have been briefed? How'd you guys see that?
0:00Oh, he's got a great trophy. It's a cup.
0:00Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. So like you, every year, whoever wins gets put on their Stanley Cup.
0:00And it's going to be a Stanley Cup where she has it for a year, and then assuming this league doesn't collapse and everyone kill us.
0:00Then you're going to give it back and you'll name it and I'll get it for you.
0:00This is great. Wonderful. Wonderful. Nice. Okay. Beautiful. Thanks, guys.
0:00I think I charged some of the reasons. Actually, Crystal Images gave us a discount, so don't worry.
0:00Thanks. The other thing, the other wrinkle here in addition to the no technology by Mallory's request is we have the pick your own punishment.
0:00We're bringing pick your own punishment back, which again, everyone's so happy about it.
0:00Another popular wrinkle. And again, because we can't get everyone shockingly to agree on a punishment, we're like, you know what?
0:00Fuck it. Everyone can pick their own punishment. And we are going to have Cousin Sal be the enforcer this year.
0:00Okay. Because it turns out that we have no power over any of you, really.
0:00And so Cousin Sal is volunteered. If no one wants to follow through, Sal's going to force you to do the punishment that you pick.
0:00So you're going to draft your own punishment in a round, round one, round 17.
0:00We don't care. You can take whatever you'll do if you come in last place.
0:00And then you have to do that. And Sal will, so Sal, if you'll do this the honor of reading the punishments
0:00that people are going to do this year. Before we get to the punishments, Mallory's is not the only award slash trophy we're going to give out.
0:00We have to acknowledge our guy here, Bill Simmons.
0:00Without him, he's our rock. We wouldn't be here.
0:00We would be selling Italian ices on the beach, all of us right now.
0:00He keeps the lights on. He's our champion. And every champion deserves a belt, a championship belt.
0:00And so here is your belt. Hey! Do you have any idea how to secure yourself in this?
0:00Let's go. It doesn't look like he's getting concealed.
0:00It feels like, what is this? I've never seen this.
0:00I've never used this. You have to press the buttons.
0:00What is this modern distraction? Does it lock? You take the one.
0:00Oh, forget it. All right. Where? All right. I think if you know, practice makes perfect.
0:00So I think if you're not strapped in when you go to make your pick, if you're not undoing it, I think we have to skip your pick.
0:00You've got to be able to do it. I'll strap in every pick.
0:00All right. This is great. I've not seen these punishments yet.
0:00Is this the last page? It's the last page of your clipboard.
0:00Here's the punishments for today. Okay. All right. Oh, look.
0:00I see some of mine made this here. Okay.
0:00All right. Number one, eat a chapter of Terry Bradshaw's new book.
0:00That's not... Did he really write a book? He wrote a book.
0:00Each chapter is like four pages. So it's really not that big of a thing.
0:00He like consumed the piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's taking your time.
0:00A lot of pictures. Wait, Dave, will you make it?
0:00Will you make the... Oh, that's good. Will you cook the piece?
0:00Seasoning. Wow. A little marinade. It goes down. I bet you couldn't make it good.
0:00Can we get some of that ready now? There's no snacks.
0:00Like romantisy? Like what kind of book is it?
0:00Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a Harlequin novel. Yeah, it's nice.
0:00Fourth wave. All right. This is an oldie but a goodie.
0:00Eat two cold cans of soup of the winner's choosing.
0:00This was on last year, right? Yes. I would do that for a snack right now.
0:00Everyone eats hot dogs and drinks cold beer while the loser eats hot beer and cold dogs.
0:00Ooh. Interesting. That's not... Good question about that one.
0:00Has the hot dog been like prepared and then it sits in the fridge and cools or it was just it came out of the package?
0:00It's out of the package fully cooked. It's like...
0:00Yeah, okay. Cold dogs. Cold hot dogs. Not the animal.
0:00Good clarification. All right. Okay, good. That's... Absolute nightmare.
0:00That was horrible. Okay. That's crazy. Larceny. Who gets that?
0:00You guys are going to send me into a neighborhood going door to door to people's houses asking them for something.
0:00Would you like to just talk about that? I would suggest not taking that one.
0:00Thank you. I've done three of these so far.
0:00Come to my neighborhood. There you go. Is this supposed to say vanilla ice?
0:00Definitely. Hey, what's up? We like vanilla ice eyebrows.
0:00Slits. There's a lot of slits. Oh, shit. I'm fucking with slits.
0:00I would do that. You need to go. Yeah.
0:00That's probably number one of the more. We'll ask your audience what you want.
0:00Yeah. All right. Trying to style. Wear a bald cap and or toupee for four podcasts.
0:00Done that. I'm on this podcast with four. I like this.
0:00Dress as the hungry caterpillar at next year's draft and eat everything it ate in the book.
0:00Wow. That's not bad. That also sounds great. That's a fun one.
0:00All right. Oh, boy. Listen to Pat McAfee's album on repeat for the entirety of the early slayers.
0:00The late of an NFL Sunday. That's tough. Let's get the beef started.
0:0045-minute album. Wow. No one wants it. So that's four plays?
0:00On a loop? Yeah, yeah. Four times. How loud does it have to be?
0:00Oh, way over the football. Like you can't hear the announcers?
0:00No, yeah. The game's wrong, dude. Yeah, the game's wrong.
0:00No one knows which one it's. It's fucked up.
0:01I like this. Eat Joey Chestnut's hot dog record 76 in 30 days.
0:01Sounds like a regular month. Yeah. I think it should be.
0:01It's a great day. All right. Baseball action. Pigs in the blanket don't count for that.
0:01Snatch in the background. Clown car wash. Go on everyone's podcast in full professional clown makeup.
0:01Interesting. All right. Nobody's doing that. You cannot watch the Super Bowl live.
0:01Instead, you watch a movie of the winner's choosing.
0:01You should do that. Oh, wow. Craig wants to make a lot of wisdom.
0:01Sounds fine. You got it, Craig. And then no punishment.
0:01Oh, it's interesting. So you could pick that up.
0:01For the cowards. So you're supposed to think about this.
0:01Intriguing. You could take this. Like, if there's a really bad one you want to stay away from, you would choose maybe
0:01that instead of Jamar Chase early on. Yeah. Right.
0:01Okay. All right. That's a good batch. I'm proud of you guys.
0:01Nice work. Craig did have one other suggestion for a potential punishment.
0:01Yeah. Loser has to run this league next year.
0:01The worst punishment of all. Having to pick this brief chat.
0:01Oh, my God. Okay. So. That was like a direct shot.
0:01I mean, is now the time to address the other?
0:01Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, okay. Let's talk about it.
0:01First of all. The administration of the league last year was a fucking disaster.
0:01One of the most mishandled situations I've ever been a part of.
0:01Communication of the rules. Organization day above the draft.
0:01Clearly announcing what kind of league we were participating in.
0:01Nightmare. Secondarily. You guys are real sick already. The way in which the playoffs and the final loser was determined.
0:01Which was meekly communicated one time. You guys failed across the board.
0:01One of the absolutely most pathetic things I've ever seen in 15 years of working with Bill.
0:01On top of that, this year. You're still there, boss.
0:01You were the geniuses. You got me on the pit.
0:01You guys thought it would be a good idea to set the draft order by randomly selecting golf balls that you would hit at a golf simulator.
0:01Fucking disgusting. I thought no one agreed to that.
0:01Commissioners, we rule with an iron fist. One of the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life.
0:01And of course, in that happening, I got the 11th pick.
0:01You guys. The only acceptable outcome to me now is for me to trade picks with Craig so that you, you, and
0:01you have the 10th, 11th, and 12th picks in the world.
0:01Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Boy! Boy! Boy! I don't know!
0:01I ate that a lot! No! You're going to die!
0:01Get out of here! I don't know! You're going to die!
0:01Get out of here! Get out of here! I would make everyone happy and happy to trade picks.
0:01I'll have to go away if you trade picks.
0:01I'll be fine. So is the deal that you're over all that if we move- I wouldn't complain about a single thing.
0:01No, no, no. Don't go away like a bitch ass, bro.
0:01Man, sit like, come on! We want the complaints.
0:01I don't know what's complaining. It's not even your pick.
0:01You're training. What? You're gonna do it. This is how they get off the formal approval plan.
0:01I do want to hear Van- Van saying don't negotiate with terrorists.
0:01I'm saying, number one, that was completely worth the price of admission.
0:01But at some point, y'all gotta drop y'all nuts.
0:01It's y'all leave. I'm just saying. I get how it was- Until my name goes on the board, I can keep going.
0:01This is an honor for you that I'm sitting here.
0:01Wow! If you want this to keep going, you can put my name up.
0:01If not, then I'm out. Oh! Is Amanda still here?
0:01If you have Austin Gale right there ready to tap in, don't cave.
0:01Or everybody gets to complain about one thing and get what they want.
0:01This is manual labor working in this league. What's gonna come next?
0:01Manual labor? It's like we're getting a call line.
0:01It's like we're getting a call line. It feels like that right.
0:01Just to let you guys know, real quick, you guys are fucking selling Hyphits outright.
0:01You guys aren't saying shit. He's going nuts. Like y'all jump in there.
0:01I'm making it back to Verizon for the voice.
0:01Especially DK because- and I love you. You're one of my favorites.
0:01We're not supposed to have favorites. You're one of my favorites.
0:01That's not mean enough. If anybody- if you hit the ball- You sucked!
0:01If you hit the ball, you got a shitty pick.
0:01I hit my own ball. Now, my fits in my ball, so it worked out okay for me.
0:01I don't love the four spot, but I'm not gonna complain about it.
0:01You guys realize we replaced this with picking names out of a hat.
0:01Craig should have hit everybody's ball. No. It's random.
0:01Respectfully, it's random either way. It's the same chances either way.
0:01That's the sense of my willingness to support Sean.
0:01I'm totally happy to give him a tip pick.
0:01I personally think the 11 picks better. So I'm totally happy to switch it.
0:01Craig wants it. Can I say something? I think that works.
0:01Moving on to more important things. Can I say something?
0:01Where did we land? I just want to commemorate our official turn into Barstool.
0:01It's great to be here. Long time coming. It was destiny, I guess, for all of us.
0:01And I think you should switch picks. I'm happy to.
0:01I'm happy to. We're switching picks. We're doing it.
0:01I'm happy to. Whatever we're working on. That's the type of shit I'm talking about.
0:01I made some great- Just come into another man's house and put your fucking feet on his back.
0:01Are you sure? Yeah, let's do it. I don't want to do it anymore.
0:01That was my fault. I want to do it.
0:01Just put it way down here. I don't know.
0:01Fuck your balls. Can we get a Netflix poll?
0:01I don't know. It just came in. Fuck your balls.
0:01Just drug his dick all over the olive room.
0:01I don't give a fuck. I'm just going to write honor on here.
0:01It's an honor. It's just an absolute honor. Is there any one more complaint you want to get off the line?
0:01No, I'm good. He's done. I've been sitting on that for six months.
0:01He's done. He's done. Hey guys, I want to say thank you and it's not my honor for you.
0:01Very favorite. Unbelievable. Thank you so much. You're doing a great job.
0:01Thank you. Thank you. If Chris doesn't switch with me, I'm exactly...
0:01I don't get the wrong... You're Chris-like bullshit. Up to one more thing.
0:01We're doing a great job. During your grievances. I was asking people around this group right now and I feel like we
0:01have a majority of people that would rather us do a two quarterback non-super flex league, two QB league instead of this one QB bullshit.
0:01I think that's a lucid, well thought out, organized question and no.
0:01And why? Why? Because he's not even in the group chat and he wants to just do the rules.
0:01And by choice. No, no. Where's the one quarterback who votes?
0:01It's a fantasy state. There are no votes. I think we're going to vote.
0:01I think we're going to vote. I think we're going to vote.
0:01No, absolutely not. I don't know. I do. He's right.
0:01He didn't say you wouldn't complain. He didn't say he has your back.
0:01You know it's true. Whatever these guys want. Listen.
0:01Who here wants to do a two quarterback league?
0:01It's simple. Hands up. Hands up. I want to do an advance.
0:01Yes. I'm adamant. That's not the fantasy zone. That's not the fantasy zone.
0:01Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill said one QB league.
0:01Bill said one QB league. It's not too late.
0:01Bill! Bill! Super flex. Let's do one QB. Three minutes ago.
0:01It's like three minutes ago. It's like three minutes ago.
0:01It's like three minutes ago. It's like a quarterback.
0:01It's not too far away. I'm a quarterback. It's flipping a coin.
0:01This is ridiculous. I expressed that in the group chat.
0:01Nobody supported me. Where was this last week when I said this?
0:01Nobody read it. It was when it was nobody.
0:01I only did this. I only did this. I was going back and forth with Dave's assistant because I can't even have your phone number.
0:01And now you've got to change the rules. And you're up as quickly as you can talk to me.
0:01Yeah! We're starting. We're starting. We're starting. Yeah! Yeah!
0:01Holy shit, I'm done. Danny, Danny, I'll switch to Verizon for you.
0:01That's a company man. It would be better if we did 2QB.
0:01No one was prepared for this. It's going to be better content.
0:01And I don't care if the rest of the world does 1QB.
0:01They're idiots. I love that. And with that said, we're going to start the draft with the one quarterback.
0:01Oh my God. And we're going to go. And we're going to go.
0:01And you know what? The year of Chris Ryan continues because we're on the 348 of Chris Ryan month.
0:01Wow! 265. One quarterback, 12 teams as you can guess.
0:01Dave is the new addition in the league. 2QB.
0:01You get on two quarterbacks. You do that. Well, I mean, let's call this what it is.
0:01So you're not changing it. We're not changing it.
0:01No, we're not changing it. Respectfully. We're going into the Wayback Machine.
0:01We're doing a full on Cougar Eater draft. There was an email that was dangerous that none of you fucking read.
0:01That was right. I read a text. The email was yesterday.
0:01The email was yesterday. It's not yesterday. Yesterday. We were wrapped with one quarterback.
0:01It was a good email. Tate, former producer, read the email immediately.
0:01I read the text. You knew it. No, the symbol.
0:01The symbol was on the cross. Again, I think you guys are doing great.
0:01CR, I knew it was your ball. Your normal answer.
0:01Wait, no. Oh my God. Okay. So the draft towards me, Chris, Sal, Bill, Mal, Sean.
0:01It is an honor to have you here. House, Tate, Dave, Van, DK, Craig, Danny, Heif.
0:01That's me. I don't know why I read my own name.
0:01And then one quarterback league, Chris Ryan, you are on the clock.
0:01After consulting with my team, I didn't have Tate.
0:01He left. But we like to have a big coaching tree where my guys go off and start throwing franchises.
0:01I'm going to take Jameer Gibson. All right. See if you can get up out of your chair.
0:01Thanks, Bill. Gips. Gibson. Grab Gibson. CR didn't like the last 10 minutes because he doesn't like conflict.
0:01No, I'm fine. He was just out of it.
0:01What is he actually playing with? He was just like totally just waiting.
0:01He was just out of it. He was just like, why?
0:01He was like, he was like, man, man. Like, literally, I watched him.
0:01He was like over there judging us. The draft is almost like, oh, shit.
0:01The plan is out later. All right. So the draft really begins now.
0:01So Sal, you're on the clock. Number two pick.
0:01There's like no one good left. We shamed on the Falcons yesterday.
0:01You can't take Providence in second. I know, but you know what?
0:01You shake things up. Don't do it. As the great Chris Berman said years ago before his tuchus became completely impacted into his sternum.
0:01Here's to you, Bijan Robinson. Welcome to Team Sal.
0:01Wow. Okay. Did he actually say that, Sal? No.
0:01I don't know. All right. No, he would have said, Bijan, Mustard, Robinson.
0:01That's pretty good. That was about it. That's a strong one.
0:01All right. What are you about? Not Brian. No, you won the league.
0:01Why are you so upset? Thrilled to be here with my friends.
0:01Go look at your trophy. Absolutely thrilled to be here with my friends.
0:01That's all. That's all. All right, Bill. You are on the clock.
0:01I'm on the clock. Last year we had two super flex and you thought it was one quarterback and now it's one
0:01quarterback super flex back to one quarterback. I'm not going to take Christian McCaffrey.
0:01I'm not going to take Christian McCaffrey. You don't have a seatbelt on.
0:01Because he was healthy last year and he practices next to an electromagnetic, whatever the fuck that thing is.
0:01God damn it. First receiver off the board, Jamar Chase.
0:01Smart. LSU. No courage to follow through on your AJ Brown love.
0:01I'll get it later. He's not going to make it back to you.
0:01You will not. There's no way. This is your only chance.
0:01I'll get it later. Oh. And I'm definitely not saying that because I pick after you.
0:01I was hoping you wouldn't take Jamar Chase. Who's up?
0:01I want you to take Mal. Mal, you are on the clock at number four.
0:01So we got Gibbs, Bichon, Chase, one, two, three.
0:01It's pretty chalk. How much time is on the clock?
0:01Until people start screaming at you. Okay. Yeah. It's just peer pressure.
0:01Which Mal was it both? I'm going to spend the next 20 minutes figuring out what they're doing.
0:01I told you they're not going to be easy to peel.
0:01I knew it. This is my nightmare. We were worried about this.
0:01Who was going to do this for AARP corner over here?
0:01You got to go first. That's going to be a good guy.
0:01Take your two players. I almost took Herman and Charles.
0:01It's just the house. I don't know who that's pretty hard.
0:01I know, I know. You got to go on the left side of it.
0:01Okay. Alright, Malorie. Now it's ready. Now's ready. She's ready.
0:01Where are you going? Going. She's following House's lead here, wandering about.
0:01Okay. Okay. You need blood flow. She's going to look for the name.
0:01Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. So Mal. I'm ready to make my selection.
0:01What's your thoughts? Last year, I'd say I won the league for a few reasons.
0:01Commitment, tenacity, Bill fucking up and taking Jamarches instead of Josh Allen in a super flex, thus 2 QB league.
0:01Bill cutting Matt Stafford. I really won the league, who I immediately picked up.
0:01Thank you, Bill. I really won the league because of Puka.
0:01Wow. Rooting for Puka last season was one of the most joyful fantasy experiences of my life.
0:01What about rooting for him in the offseason? Probably second only to the year I got Clayton Kershaw on a fantasy baseball league in his breakout.
0:01Because I enjoyed that high, I will not be subjecting myself to this year's low.
0:01Someone else can take Puka and enjoy him being in jail in week three.
0:01I'm taking JSN. JSN? I thought I was going to get JSN.
0:01You can't opt into the worst experience of the thing you enjoyed last year.
0:01Can't do it. That's one of my memento tattoos.
0:01Boys. Fascist. Backpack. I don't know. Mal's always hated people who walk through paint glass windows at the white party.
0:01That's what I was going to do. Sean was prepared for the fifth day.
0:01He's been ready for this. He knew what was going to happen.
0:01What are you thinking, Sean? Repeats are not endorsements.
0:01And I am going to take Puka. Enjoy. That's fine.
0:01You're liking first personality. It's a first personality. It's the on-field scooby-dum-dum.
0:01It's going to be the honor of something there, really.
0:01Yeah. All right, House, you're on the clock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:01I'm just going to go ahead. What lenses are those?
0:01Can you see? So many names. Huh? My vocals.
0:01House, you're doing receiver? He's going to take St.
0:01Brown. I'm on rock. McCaffrey's falling. We talked about this yesterday.
0:01So well, he really. As we watched escape from Alcatraz.
0:01You're right there. You're there. Plus, I get to get the sun god.
0:01Oh, no, because of it's by last nature. Yes.
0:01All right. Okay. Should be. I'll just take it.
0:01St. Brown. Put him with the brown. St. Brown.
0:01Yeah. Put it on your left house. It's going to take the white.
0:01It's going to take it for you. He's got one of the good.
0:01But here, House, turn around. Zoom in on you, just not being able to do that again.
0:01I mean, it's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.
0:01The stickers would be too hard. And everyone can.
0:01Rip it. Rip it. You do it. There we go.
0:01It's kind of a result. You guys are charged.
0:01It worked. That'll work. All right. I'm on rock.
0:01Oh, you tore the sticker? It might be equanimated.
0:01It looks like an ill-omen. Ill-omen. You did it.
0:01Hmm. My favorite part of their draft was CR during the yelling.
0:01Yeah. Yeah. I literally said. You completely sang while I'm just waiting to pick two air chips.
0:01All off the top of the top of the top.
0:01St. Brown looks. Oh. Tater. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
0:01Yeah. Yeah. Easy money. You're not worried about that?
0:01No. All right. You guys are just talking about the picks here?
0:01Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So, Tate picks Christian McCaffrey.
0:01Dave. You always. Wow. Dave's just running to the board.
0:01Yeah. Yeah. You're not worried about the. Already a sore leg, bum leg.
0:01No. 400 bazillion carries. No. No. Dave. Wow. Yeah.
0:01Wow. Great. Dave's on the clock. Yes. Can we ask.
0:01I'm a Commander's fan. That's it. Can we draft the control room?
0:01Like, can we draft news stories that we want updates on?
0:01Because since we don't have. Oh, yeah. I kind of love that.
0:01That's a good one. Who can. Is this a Puka watch?
0:01Puka watch? I'm going to do it now. Puka watch.
0:01I'm going to do it now. Any new discoveries on ENF radiation for Tate and Christian McCaffrey?
0:01See the board. Which one? These are receivers and then running backs Dave has taken back.
0:02The receivers are well. You can see it. Apparently, somebody's playing golf now and it's kept him under wraps.
0:02Oh, by the way. Just like me. Blue up.
0:02Yeah. You don't even need that. Hopefully, where is it going to be a dig to the something?
0:02It's going to be a dig to the something.
0:02Let's get him a nice membership. As long as he's wearing these sides.
0:02Are these alphabetical? Just not some of those other brands.
0:02I'm going to surpass my band as worst person with the name things.
0:02Yeah, I can't fucking see it. I'm dropping Saquon Barkley.
0:02Saquon. I love him. Why are you taking Saquon, man?
0:02I love him this year. Come back here. Just take Bucky Irvin.
0:02You'll be finished. New OC? Because his uncle is Iran Barkley.
0:02Oh, yeah. Little way. I love him. That's true.
0:02Was he? Not that timing hit me in the 8th.
0:02What do you like about Saquon? Total badass. This makes me feel better.
0:02I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you taking Saquon because of his uncle?
0:02Yeah, his uncle. Yeah. This is a family black.
0:02He's the one who's back available right now. Does the best available update at any point or no?
0:02Just kidding. Yeah, so we have best available. So we can throw the best available at a moment.
0:02That's great. They said they were going to take him.
0:02Oh, yeah, it is. Or no, Gibbs is still up there.
0:02Any picks so far that you think is highly questionable?
0:02Yeah. Let's get some of that classic analysis. Any surprises?
0:02Some of the first round. What do you guys think?
0:02Take control of that as part of it. Well, that's a classic analysis.
0:02Any surprises? It's probably between the guy who went to rehab and the guy by the substation.
0:02It's just generally my speaking. You know, that's usually like, you know, people off my board.
0:02But like, I don't know. The cat for a seven feels like a steal though.
0:02I think he is and you'll probably, he's the best player when he plays.
0:02Yeah. He's literally the best player in fantasy history since Ladanian Tomlinson when he plays.
0:02We're the most important player to avoid. So Tate, where are you on the substation and just, you know, radiation?
0:02I mean, I'm anti. You're just saying. You're not a big fan.
0:02You're a big fan. All right. I'm against him.
0:02It's too close to home. I'm talking about this.
0:02I'm taking my boy. Here we go. Who's that?
0:02JT? Mostly so Heifetz can't have him. Derek Henry.
0:02Wow! Interesting. Adam Lazio? Wow. I love Derek Henry.
0:02So the cliff never happens for him. He's never gonna go off now.
0:02I think he's like LeBron where it's like you have to change your perception of the aging thing.
0:02It's like I'm watching LeBron throw alley-oops to his son in a playoff series and they win.
0:02And I'm like Derek Henry, like, oh, he's 32.
0:02So this should have been Sean's pick, but you guys, Kate, fucking cowards.
0:02Most underrated running back. They're bullied. James Cook. I had it last year.
0:02It was delightful. James Cook. So we're gonna put up the best available players there.
0:02Literally, I must take him third. Yeah. I would've took him fifth.
0:02I thought about it. Craig, he was really good last year.
0:02Are you gonna take Rasheed Rice? He was great.
0:02I had him on a team. We're gonna throw the best available power by Verizon on the screen.
0:02Sean's got my back. So, I mean, Sean, you wanna help me make these two picks right here?
0:02Yeah, sure. You talking out? Yeah. I think Quinshawn Junkids looks good here.
0:02His favorite? And maybe Cam Scadabo for three weeks.
0:02What's wrong with Scadabo? DK, who do you think I should take here?
0:02I think you're gonna take Justin Jefferson. You've been big on him all summer.
0:02And you believe in that. Yeah, I'm gonna call him.
0:02Yeah. Well, you gotta get the receiver. You have one of your picks has gotta be Justin Jefferson.
0:02Kyler Murray is gonna be awesome. What about Chase Brown?
0:02By the way, I purposely topped that ball. It could be 50 touchdowns.
0:02Be quiet about Chase Brown. Yeah, DK, can we talk about how DK hit my ball in the long drive thing?
0:02One yard. He topped my ball. I can feel it.
0:02I mean, you heard it, right? Yeah. And Danny, you said that was the fourth time you'd ever spent golf on a meter.
0:02Come on. Like in the last 15 years. You all right?
0:02Craig, can you vent? I'm gonna make fun of Bill.
0:02I can't remember the stick with that. The stick with that.
0:02The stick with that. The alternative is to go like this.
0:02Lawrence Taylor? Yeah. Pick out a hat. No, you guys see the real deal?
0:02We don't wanna have fun. No, it was really fun.
0:02Why are you playing with the fucking hair? But did you hit my ball last?
0:02Was that your last shot? It was my last shot, but it was not the last of the 12.
0:02Yeah, cuz you looked more- Who did you take?
0:02Say or pick out a lot. I'm taking John and Taylor.
0:02You were running back to the golf. John's fucking thing.
0:02And that was a stock driver. Yeah, if I had my own.
0:02You're running back. I found a- Take out, you're counting.
0:02What are your guys' thoughts on this, like, no- On Taylor?
0:02Zero RB or three wide receivers strategy? Like not taking a running back?
0:02Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Usually feel like if you have good running backs, that's the easiest way to win in fantasy.
0:02Yeah, speaking of which, I'm just gonna go down with the ship here.
0:02And I'm gonna, you know what? I'm doing something insane.
0:02And I'm gonna just take the Maryampton as well.
0:02Which is probably a terrible- Oh, my goodness. It's probably a terrible idea.
0:02That's a great pick, but I'm just I'm just going with beef.
0:02I'm going with running You guys can use this opportunity with Chang actually here to talk about the veal chop thing because
0:02this was your Unlike apex mountain see Chang's gonna get mad Is he really this veal chop thing really makes change what
0:02we'll come back around You don't know do people have personal red lines that is ever our cross I don't draft people from this team, etc.
0:02Like cuz the opposite you can you the opposite?
0:02Yeah, there's there's no allies There's no enemies you just take who's ever the world I Don't I Have like a lot of Yankees on my keeper team.
0:02Yeah, it's an emotional hedge like I yeah Yeah, exactly you have to edge self-preservation Make picks I don't understand the stickers.
0:02I was making fun of the boomer corner over there, but I mean I I I I I I I I I
0:02I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
0:02I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
0:02I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I
0:02I I The stickers have a tough memory I was hoping Chang would draft all meats but it's The only one home
0:02needs Okay, who's that take the tape is on the clock Yeah, who's got a player you can take action junkie what he's doing?
0:02He actually is taking an injury-proof receiver now. Yeah.
0:02Yeah. Oh, wow. Tate's defense. Last year during this draft, Tate, you were drafting, and you took Drake May in a super flex draft.
0:02Second round, everyone made fun of you. Oh, yeah.
0:02I was only stopping. Literally, Chris's team went to the championship.
0:02Chris Ologe. We're lost. We're taking the Saints. I'm absolutely new.
0:02But where do you text me for full game?
0:02Congratulations. You know what I mean? I'm thinking about how new are you?
0:02Yeah. The anxiety. Yeah, I have to find the colors.
0:02Okay. Who would wear the tight ends? Oh, yeah.
0:02Rugby? No, no, no, no, no. You want McBride?
0:02McBride. McBride. Oh, shit. Dalton Sharks? I'll find Trey McBride.
0:02Who's throwing the ball to McBride? I don't know, and it really didn't matter last year.
0:02That's true. So I'm just taking the biggest stick.
0:02Stug tight end. Carson Beck. At this point. Carson Beck.
0:02Put him in. Now I become sticker guy. I'm sticker guy.
0:02I'm sticker guy. I'm sticker guy. I'm sticker bitch.
0:02That's what happens. Nice pick. I'm taking Josh Allen.
0:02Oh, wow. Here we go. Here we go. Interesting.
0:02Now we've got to get one. Keep it right.
0:02It is fun to have Josh Allen. I can see if I can find him on this.
0:02It is, right. It is fun. Can I ask why?
0:02Since you're a Jets fan? Yeah, full disclosure, I play him twice this year.
0:02Yeah, I'm excited about that. I'm going to lose as many games as possible.
0:02Um, because I want to watch a team that I really enjoy watching.
0:02Now I'll watch Chase Brown and, you know, Chris Olave.
0:02And you're like, all right, this is fine. I want some fucking stars on my team.
0:02Wow. Josh Allen is a star. Like Puka Nakua, who I think is probably not a good person, but is an excellent receiver.
0:02Star. Josh Allen should be so honored that you drafted him.
0:02He's doing all right. Hailey Steinfeld. You don't have to keep sucking on your head.
0:02Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get off his dick now. It's over.
0:02I'm going to go. I'm almost. Give me a fucking second.
0:02Come on, Mal. All right. Deciding between two things.
0:02First two rounds. Oh my God. Okay. This is a fucking round.
0:02All the balls are on a Netflix show so far.
0:02The F-bomb's been dropped. How many times? We beat him.
0:02100 F-bombs. I mean, they tell him. They kill Tony.
0:02We beat a ticket. Are we supposed to be watching that?
0:02Yeah. What? No. We're not supposed to be. I don't think so.
0:02Oh, they took us off the air like 20 minutes.
0:02I know from Netflix. For a season of like 10 episodes.
0:02You can only do four F-bombs. I'm mostly doing this to hurt my face.
0:02No. What? Or you lose the kid rating. You get four F-bombs.
0:02But we're not kid rating. We're not kid rating.
0:02We're five. Did you have to stay below that?
0:02We tried. Did you fail? We had to go on the back.
0:02They were pissed because the algorithm makes it so less people are going to see your show.
0:02Oh, no. Did you first say? Oh. That's why it was a big deal.
0:02Anyway, Mallory, who are you taking? Brock Bowers. I will be taking Brock Bowers.
0:02That's great. He's good. I love those words. I am perfectly content to Chang's earlier question to punt on running backs completely.
0:02Amen to that. This is a tight end flex three receiver league.
0:02I'll be going all in on pass catchers. Yeah.
0:02And your favorite player who you didn't take even though you could have.
0:02So it feels extra sweet for me to have him and get to benefit from your pain.
0:02No surprise that she's an oil spank. You're also one of my favorites.
0:02Bill. I listen to your show and you guys have said on every single podcast for three months, you get one of
0:02the first, maybe just the first tight end, which I would say I got.
0:02I think this is a good spot for Bauer.
0:02Yeah. Or you wait. I think that's perfect. Yeah.
0:02I feel great. I hate my team. You're like Christian McCaffrey, Chris Alavid.
0:02Who's going to play for this? I know. Yeah, your job starts now.
0:02I think I started thinking. Joel's doing the punishment for me.
0:02What position are you on, Bill? You have nothing to lose.
0:02Yeah, I have nothing to lose. Is anyone thinking about taking no punishment?
0:02No. No. And you were thinking about it. Only people who are afraid to lose take no punishment.
0:02Bill's going to take you first. I think Bill's going to take you first.
0:02I think Bill's going to take you first. You can't pull itself.
0:02Strong arm of a battle. I'm going to not only say could I, I'd happily.
0:02No, no, it's not even 10, right? It's happily.
0:02He's going to be the enforcer, man. We should just do that.
0:02I'll be sticking to this. Just to check in.
0:02I'm messing my guy already. I'm having a dog right now.
0:02Yeah, okay. What do we got? Ash and Jen.
0:02So. Glad to do it. Bill, you took Ash and Jen.
0:02Jen's. Risky. He has an ankle sprain that's been described as more low than high, which to me means both.
0:02The team gathered around him in fear. Is he's in a corner of the market and people in a prayer circle around him?
0:02Prayer circle, Jen. Practice. Home run pick. What pick is that?
0:0221? 22? No. 22. Yeah. If it was two weeks ago, he goes like fifth.
0:02Yeah. Hopefully he's not a fifth. He goes to fourth.
0:02Six. Seven. Why don't you take time with 20 years now?
0:02He's definitely wrong. Yeah. I'm wrong. We had a news in the 50s at the Raider Guide two weeks ago.
0:02Two Raiders in the top 25? Oh, please. I know a bit about the Bauer's.
0:02I would not have taken care of. We should be telling Bill, great pick.
0:02Great pick. Great pick, Bill. Great job. All right.
0:02I don't need congratulations. We're not. We're congratulations. Did you guys lose?
0:02Yeah. It's great. Oh, we beat it. No. What?
0:02Have you guys? I thought Mendel's looked really bad yesterday.
0:02I mean, I don't think he's going to play for a while.
0:02Austin Gale has had a Kool-Aid man to his way through to tackle you.
0:02Kirk Cousins gets hurt. Oh, sorry. No, it was between two guys.
0:02But now Van's in my head about researching the relatives of some of these people.
0:02And it turns out George Pickens' uncle works at a yogurt land in Encino.
0:02And that's going to be for me. What about his dad?
0:02Good pick. Good pick. Incredible. All right. Back-to-back picks are just running out of the shirt.
0:02All right. Great stick. You can think about it.
0:02I do think Fernando Mendoza, I don't think he's going to play early just because I do think that Tom Brady is running the football there.
0:02And I just think Tom Brady cares so deeply in his soul.
0:02I agree, though. He looks shaky. Yeah. I thought he looked bad.
0:02Yeah. I was surprised. Pulled a muscle on my back lifting that trophy.
0:02I was worried about it. I'm in a lot of pain right now.
0:02You all right? Thankfully, I had asked for a lumbar support pillow anticipating just some amount of physical agony.
0:02Let's go. Y receiver one. Devontae. Devontae Smith. Wow.
0:02I like how you put him in the second round.
0:02I like how you put him in the second round.
0:02He doesn't feel underneath any of these guys. That's an interesting one.
0:02We had a Cowboy fan taking Cowboy. An Eagles fan taking Eagle.
0:02I know. That's a... Which is why I'll be taking Aaron Rodgers in the third round.
0:02I assume Bill will be taking May. You got Devontae Smith.
0:02Wait. Where are we at? Where are we at on Devontae Smith and the Eagles this year?
0:02In theory, it sounds great. I showed speed, locked him up.
0:02And... Where are you at? Yeah. Bro, I assume speed is legit, dawg.
0:02It's making... I don't know who the fuck is going to pass to Drake London, but...
0:02Mitch Penix should be good. No, it's the one.
0:02Do you want to get to the Jostrand? Oh, Jostrand.
0:02Jack. With like D2. Okay. All right. So, we can throw the best available right now.
0:02We have best available on the board. Right up there.
0:02And... A lot of Dolphins disrespect. Yeah, a lot of Dolphins disrespect.
0:02Not anymore. Not anymore. All right. Wow. Very good value.
0:02The Dolphins are going to score four touchdowns this year, and he's getting all of them, baby.
0:02On each end. Hell yeah. Good God. Chris, how are you feeling about your squad so far?
0:02You got Jameer, Gibbs, Devont, and Jameer. I feel okay, except for the London pick is going to be a little bit
0:02of a gamble, because it's just a bunch of left-handed guys sailing balls and him getting concussed, so I'm not sure.
0:02Greg's a big believer left-handed bias is real. Oh, yeah?
0:02His clipboard's driving me nuts right now. Can't fucking make it worse.
0:02It's all smart. No one to blame for yourself.
0:02Get a bad computer. Take Drake. So, why did you go to my agent?
0:02Oh, you got your phone. No, no, no. No, you got to do something.
0:02You got to take a call? Yeah, I got to take a call.
0:02Yeah, I'm going to take a call. Here we go.
0:02Are you Googling something? No, Phantasy didn't murder him yet.
0:02Fourth round. That's the punishment. Oh, sweet release of death.
0:02Are you taking another ring back? Red, blue. Blue's receiver.
0:02Oh, boy. You guys can all fuck off because this is the last good receiver on the board.
0:02You're thinking Nico Collins. Of course I am. That is a fact.
0:02He's fucking awesome. That is a fact. I love Nico Collins.
0:02Had him last year. He'll win you a week.
0:02Jamar Chase, Nico Collins, and Ashton. I just bought an awesome Norma Tech to help my ankle heal better.
0:02Jente. That's a great nickname. Right now, he's like this.
0:02So I have to escape from that. He's like Bill believes me.
0:02I mean, Bill's offense. Two weeks ago, Collins would have gone probably right where it is.
0:02The Norma Tech prayer circle. Oh, man. We got to get the best available updated a little bit here.
0:03Best available is like Ashton Gentry. It's not going to be available for a little bit.
0:03So we're not going to go to just available for an hour.
0:03It's funny because I would have taken Bowers, but then coming back, now you're in this shitty running back group.
0:03How would you have taken Bowers? I said, now I took Bowers in front of me.
0:03I was going to take Bowers. And then hope Jente was there in the next round.
0:03So instead I have Jente and Nico Collins. I'm okay.
0:03You want to have any two Raiders? It's real deep.
0:03Running backs have fallen off a cliff. Mallory has a shit-eating grin on her face.
0:03Why take a running back I'm not excited about?
0:03Oh, yeah. You can take Ted McMillan. I like that she has to walk all the way back.
0:03She's got a furthest seat from the board. I sustained an entry.
0:03Should we take the trophy away from her? Here's what I've decided.
0:03I have decided this year to take players I am genuinely excited about.
0:03And if they have injured toes, I don't really care.
0:03Wow. Emeka. Yeah. Injured toes. I like that. Big, big.
0:03Now, last year I took Neighbors with an injured toe and it was obviously a fiasco.
0:03But hoping for better fortune this year. This is a great call.
0:03I'm going to take players I'm excited to watch and I believe have upside.
0:03I like that. You still did it for CR.
0:03He died last season. I think there's still an elite running back on the board.
0:03I can trade for running backs. Just like I did last year.
0:03Are you going to go first team all criminal?
0:03Take Josh Jacobs? Nope. No. I'm going to take Kyron.
0:03That's pretty good. It will be Kyron. Christ. It will be Kyron.
0:03Nope. I'm taking Javante Williams. Can you take it?
0:03Oh! I'm kidding. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for you.
0:03I'm sorry for you. You're such a moron. Craig, what?
0:03You trade your pick. Don't take no shit, Spider.
0:03What did you take? Javante. Hey, don't take it.
0:03Hold on. Don't take no shit, Spider. I love it.
0:03That's exactly what I did. Oh! So you fucking shoot the guy?
0:03You're digging the fucking hole. That's not my first hole I dug.
0:03That's not my first hole. I don't give a fuck.
0:03Who got the line? What's the fucking line? What movie, guys?
0:03What movie? I haven't seen it. I don't know.
0:03You're on the car. You want Kyron, I guess?
0:03We'll go double Williams here. I like that, Alex.
0:03From Williams? What's the world coming to? Joe House is taking Kyron Williams.
0:03Good value. Sean, how do you feel about Javante Williams?
0:03James, Josh, Alan, Puka. How do you feel, Sean?
0:03Fucking good. Seems balanced. The best quarterback in the NFL.
0:03The best receiver in the NFL. And the... And a running back.
0:03The 12th best running back. He's top 10. He's top 10.
0:03And you only had to be the guy from Network to get it.
0:03Works out. Okay. Hey, you're on the clock, and you just got sniped at Javante Williams from your beloved UNC.
0:03Yeah, I hate to see it. And Hampton. You stole both my running backs early.
0:03But again, UNC. He had NFL Factory, as we know.
0:03Can I grab the receivers? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, because House.
0:03Got Kyron Williams. Do you know who you want?
0:03You can talk about it, and I'll get you the sticker.
0:03I want Lad McConkie. Yeah. That's a very on-brand pick for you.
0:03I like it. Might McTee just unlocks him? I'm trying to say, man.
0:03What do you mean by Lad McConkie? Lad McConkie.
0:03I like it. So, why Lad? It's got Honky in it.
0:03I went to training camp, and my man was getting targets.
0:03McConkie. What's that? What's that? You're right at that?
0:03I'm Lad McConkie. Yeah, that's right. Okay. All right.
0:03So, we got Dave is up. Dave, you got CeeDee Lamb, A.J.
0:03Brown. And now Dave's on the board. Rice. Rice.
0:03Rice. Lamb? Rice? Rice? What's happening to you guys?
0:03Very on-brand. Football is about food. This isn't easy.
0:03What was your favorite? A super-case menu? What is it?
0:03Dave, what was your favorite part of Rasheed Rice rehabbing his knee in jail?
0:03I mean, he's jacked. Yeah. All you can do is work out.
0:03It's because he couldn't do any pliability. It's kind of hardcore.
0:03He had to do the weight lift. Everybody plays straight.
0:03That's it. There you go. All right. Chang has lamb, brown, and rice.
0:03All food and all receivers. You got brown rice and lamb.
0:03Brown rice and lamb. That is delicious. Yeah, receivers.
0:03That does sound good. I almost want to switch.
0:03I almost want to switch the order and just make it a little meal.
0:03Yeah. Now you have to take another food and before it goes.
0:03I know. What are the options? Brown rice. Brown rice is very healthy.
0:03It was delicious. Rarely do I get this. I have a chance to do LSU football two days in a row.
0:03There we go. I'm going to do that and I'm going to take hopefully healthy The wild game.
0:03Malik neighbors. Oh, my. Wow. Wow. I actually hope.
0:03We'll be playing week five. It's too late in round three.
0:03Yeah. I kind of like that. Yeah. Yeah, I don't mind that.
0:03Okay. Deacon. Damn it. What are your thoughts about a three receiver in a row?
0:03Oh, I like that. I guess. As much as I want to give you shit, I think it's actually a really good thing.
0:03I think Rasheed Rice, it's like, you know, if he looks pretty slow in all these preseason videos, but it's a really good team because if A.J.
0:03Brown bounces back, you just have like a great receiving core and you can kind of just figure it out.
0:03I'm thinking if A.J. Brown bounces back. I feel like I've got a whole lot of content.
0:03I want to say it that way. Well, you know.
0:03It's going to be fucking incredible. Look, what is it?
0:03Quietly withdraw this. It's going to be awesome. Do you think he's going to read the book on the sideline again?
0:03A.J. Brown's going to be incredible. You can't just keep saying it.
0:03Are you going to say that until he said it?
0:03Are you leaning on it right now? Like, what the fuck?
0:03I'm so quick. Counter. A.J. Brown's going to be incredible.
0:03I'm going to say that. I'm going to say that.
0:03We're getting into some T.T. There you go. T.T.
0:03great pick. Great pick. Nobody pick John's fantasy guy pick.
0:03No. You fantasy guys. Nobody pick them? Sean's item, though, for the Pukunikua.
0:03It's a fantasy guy. Famous. It's a great call.
0:03It's going to get all along. Craig, you're up.
0:03In Sean's spot. It's Craig's spot. No. No Danny.
0:03He's in his spot. You quite literally put Craig in the corner.
0:03Whatever makes people happy. We put that to bed.
0:03That issue was closed. It's true. I will be sticking to my guns, and I will be reaching too early, probably, for the best player on the Bears.
0:03Cool. Wow. Cool. Best player on the Bears. That was my fourth choice for best player on the Bears.
0:03Wow. Okay. Do you want to wax Politek with Luther Burden while I make two picks right now?
0:03What's wrong with his groin? Wasn't that one? He's back.
0:03He's back. He's back. He tweaked it. That kind of kicked me on my eyes.
0:03He's not your own. It should be fine. Worry about you.
0:03I'm not worried about it. He looks good out there.
0:03I saw him jogging. How'd it look? Pretty smooth.
0:03Yeah? No way. Smooth gait. Did he cut? Yeah, sure.
0:03Now we're on a receiver. Heifetz has back-to-back. Five in a row.
0:03You'll be taking who? I'm going to make some fucking mistakes right now.
0:03This is where I'm like, when I look back and I'm like, dressed as the hungry caterpillar next year, this is where it's all.
0:03That's not what you're dressed like right now. That shit.
0:03Wow. To be clear. God damn shit. God damn.
0:03This is where it's like, I'm standing. God damn.
0:03I'm a badass house with Don Rickles. Oh, there you go.
0:03Oh, man. Thank God. What a relief. Thank God someone else picked.
0:03I know. He can't. He's where it all goes wrong for me.
0:03But, uh, and then, honestly, this is a guy that, I don't know if it's the best pick right now, but I
0:03just, to Mal's point, I fucking love watching this guy play football, and it's Tee Higgins on the Bengals.
0:03All right. Tee Higgins adds three games a year where you're just like, that guy is the best player.
0:03This is Craig's just draft Tee Higgins. You're not going to be correct.
0:03Take Mike Evans. That's what happens to you for two quarterback league.
0:03I just love Tee Higgins so much. Wonderful. So, okay.
0:03So through three rounds, I'm curious, of all the teams, I actually, Van, I feel like, how do you feel, because Saquon,
0:03Justin Jefferson, Malik Neighbors, if he's healthy, does kind of leap off the page, Van.
0:03How you feeling? Like, room for LSU, man. I'm feeling great.
0:03I ran Barclay's nephew. Fucking Justin Jefferson. Who is this?
0:03I was a boxer. He was a boxer. I ran Barclay's nephew, Justin Jefferson, Malik Neighbors, man.
0:03Neighbors is healthy. I think he's going to have a great season.
0:03Seriously. Are you just going to declare a ball?
0:03Are you sure? Okay. I feel like that should be in the notes that it's Iron Barclay.
0:03I don't have to change the sticker. Yeah, that's true.
0:03All right, Craig, Craig, who are you taking here?
0:03James Foss on the ball. Got torn. Drew Aller.
0:03Drew Aller's on the board. Jeremy? Drew Aller's on the board, Craig.
0:03Drew Aller looks really good. He was dealing. He was dealing.
0:03He was dealing. He gets the Jets fourth screen secondary.
0:03All right. Hand me the quarterback. Oh, shit. Are we ready?
0:03Drink May? Because we're ready. We're doing the Vizzo Star.
0:03Let me say he's in the ball. Very easy to do for our fancy team.
0:03Wow. Drew Aller's right there. He's the first name on the thing.
0:03It looks good. Where's the M? Yeah. Wow, he is taking Drake May.
0:03That's awesome. That's not going to happen. Oh, man.
0:03That's not about to happen. That's a great pick.
0:03Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, incredible pick.
0:03Okay. What a kiss ass. I'm surprised. What a kiss ass.
0:03What a kiss ass. What a kiss ass. Are you fucking kidding me?
0:03What a kiss ass. Another tar heel off the board.
0:03I wouldn't have taken him just because I have too much at stake.
0:03You think Drake May is going to be incredible this year?
0:03Oh, yeah. He's going to be so good. AJ Brown is going to be incredible.
0:03Like, legitimately incredible. Sal, should there be part of AJ Brown being incredible?
0:03Okay. Oh, I'm back. Do you actually feel good about this?
0:03My bad, my bad. Do you actually feel good about this?
0:03I feel okay. I feel okay about it. He's trying to start the quarterback run.
0:03We can put Craig's team on the board, I believe.
0:03We have James Cook, Chase Brown, Luther Burden, and Drake May.
0:03It doesn't jump off the page, but by week eight, I'll feel real good, I think.
0:03I feel like you're talking yourself into that as we see him.
0:03Here's my worry. Here's my worry. By the time we come back, I think all the quarterbacks are going to be gone.
0:03That was my fear. And I didn't want to get stuck with Kyler Murray.
0:03Especially when I take seven in a row. Yeah, really?
0:03This is my last position player before I start my quarterback.
0:03Where do we land on the quarterback thing? I was going to say, should we take a vote?
0:03It says me. I'm doing something weird here because this guy's been in our burn book three out of the last four years.
0:03DJ Moore. DJ Moore. DJ Moore receiver for the Buffalo Bills.
0:03You famously hate. You hate him. You're showing up on Sunday with Ted Beckham.
0:03DJ hated Caleb Williams. You're buying into that theory.
0:03What's that? You're buying in that he hated Caleb Williams.
0:03Van is running to the podium. I don't think it was much of a theory.
0:03I think you can tell. Quarterback runs starts now.
0:03Oh, Aaron Nussmeyer. He's got the Browns. He looked good.
0:03He's got it. You're taking Burrow? Joe Burrow. Are you really?
0:03I love that Van strategy. Just take the best.
0:03That's an amazing call. He's got a good stack there.
0:03I like that. He's the LSU player. This is pure fandom.
0:03I love it. This is not pure fandom. It's pure heart.
0:03You guys never loved me. I love LSU. He's my goat.
0:03Van, I'd actually be curious to hear you. College football fandom versus NFL fandom.
0:03Why does he just love? Well, for me, I will say there's a couple NFL teams that are different.
0:03But for me, in Baton Rouge, this is like the red one.
0:03This is the lifeblood. I'm sorry. It's a cultural thing.
0:03I was already reading the lines. From New Orleans.
0:03From New Orleans. From New Orleans. He just said that.
0:03He changed his name. He changed his pronunciation. Can you do it again?
0:03It's not ETN. It's ETN. No, ETN. It's ETN.
0:03I think the Clemson coach couldn't say it. Sorry, that's going to be too much for me.
0:03We can't have two ETNs. I think call him ETN.
0:03ETN is very close to etouffee. That's what I was thinking.
0:03And he's in a city that I think is maybe the best culinary city in America.
0:03Wow. One of the best. A lot of those foods will be cooked.
0:03What would be the other ones? Which ones would be, like, close?
0:03Because everybody with default state of New Orleans is, like, almost easy.
0:03But, like, what else? What else? Well, New York.
0:03I mean, New York. New York. Obviously, New York.
0:03Tate's coming around. I mean, I have to say San Francisco.
0:03I don't want to. Thank you, Tate. LA, of course.
0:03Go ahead. Tate's coming around. Oh, LA's up there.
0:03Yeah, for sure. Okay. What's the fifth city? You named four.
0:03Chicago? What's 12th? You know what? Philadelphia. Not because he just said.
0:03Oh, wow. I was out of this. Philadelphia, the most underrated food city in America.
0:03Is that why? Because it has everything. And more importantly, people can take chances.
0:03Everything's just not vanilla. The one thing with Philly that I feel like we need to get to the bottom of.
0:03Okay, you're going to miss the Tarant's game tomorrow.
0:03But you don't need burgers, man. It's a city of sandwiches.
0:03No, it's not. Every city should have a great burger.
0:03If you're just looking for a burger. Lamar. Tate takes Lamar's roster.
0:03What's the iconic burger? It's all for sandwiches. Oh, yeah.
0:03How's he talking about food? I've been upset by that one.
0:03It's fine. It's fine. You're getting your beef sandwiches.
0:03It's a herniated disc. Herniated disc. My whole team will be in.
0:03Why did it take you so long to pick Lamar?
0:03He couldn't find him. Yeah, I couldn't find it yet.
0:03It was a lot of lag. I don't know who did the quarterback.
0:03I want to be very good. This is where I spell track.
0:03This is sticky. Lamar has got to hear me.
0:03You sure? Yep. You sure? Yes. You're a lawyer.
0:03Because the reports yesterday suggest that he is being charged with two misdemeanors.
0:03Who's this? Neither one of them. Josh Jacobs. I'm trying to pound.
0:03I was right there, but I didn't know the update.
0:03And now I'm going to remind everyone that we're live.
0:03We're in a meeting. I'm a bugger. He was not charged with a felony.
0:03He was charged with two misdemeanors. That's all. Can't you go on the commissioner's list?
0:03You could. Like Puka. Probably. Puka probably. It's impossible.
0:03All right. Well, I wonder who's going to play running back for house.
0:03Josh Jacobs is suspended. But yeah, Sean is on the clock.
0:03It's got to be free. Oh. Free. Free. Yeah.
0:03Is it the R's? Right. Is it R's all hurt?
0:03Wrong team. Gary? Cam Scattler. Cam Scattler. It's because he wants to watch great players on great teams.
0:03Was he just kidding? He just got him a 20 minute to do?
0:03His own team. His head on team. He's just trying to hurt Dan.
0:03Drafted Corky from Life Goes On. Why did this just happen, Sean?
0:03Where is he on the list? Did he like 140?
0:03Didn't he not say like one round ago? You're like, I want great players on great teams.
0:03So the Giants are great teams. That's why. You just want like legends and heroes.
0:03I didn't say great players on great teams. I said stars.
0:03Oh. Who is a star? Can't fight that. It's pretty, I don't know.
0:03It's kind of. It's going to show friends. Speaking truth.
0:03One and a half stars. Okay. Now, come on now.
0:03Now, are you Reuben's on the clock? He's going to take the slow walk up.
0:03Now, you took Abuka, Brock Bowers, JSN. You were also saying you're going to take a mouse pick.
0:03Oh, what? 90 minutes later. 90 second edge. Powered by Verizon.
0:03This is brought to you by State Farm. Still no running back.
0:03So now. Are you going to go Jaden? Absolutely not.
0:03Long walk back to the scene. So what exactly happened to your back that you actually can't stay?
0:03So I've actually, I've been dealing with some back pain because I'm getting old and some hip pain.
0:03I turned 40 in three weeks. So it's all downhill.
0:03And, you know. I like your anger. I like your anger.
0:03I'm in the room. This guy. This guy. I'm here.
0:03I'm in the room. I'm in the room. I'm in the room.
0:03And I'm going to. Wait, what do you do if it's where the little binder ring is?
0:04Give it to Danny. Bottom left. Bottom left. And just pull up?
0:04Yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah, I'm just going to be standing.
0:04It is going to rip here. I mean, it's very tough.
0:04Justin Herbert. I am. I am. I am continuing my strategy of taking players who I'm excited to watch and who I
0:04think are going to be in strong offenses. Other than powers, obviously.
0:04And just the ascendancy is here for Herbert. It's time.
0:04I'm here about Herbert. It's glow up and just everything.
0:04Let the guy fucking fall in love with the hot chick.
0:04It's fine. Yeah, fine McConkie. He's not going to make it back to me.
0:04I'm taking him here. Yeah. Fine McConkie. That's a good pick.
0:04I'm not waiting for guys that want to fall to me and then being sad they didn't.
0:04Oh, you're making a fair. I like it. Not going to do it.
0:04I like it. I just wouldn't have. I told you my strategy.
0:04I'm going to take seven QBs. How many of them will you cut in week one so that other people can pick them up and then win?
0:04We didn't talk enough that he literally cut Stafford and she got the tear.
0:04He looked like he was hurt. It was just a wonderful experience.
0:04Genuinely incredible. Every single week brought me joy. But you've contributed to my life in a lot of ways.
0:04I'm going to take either Colston Loveland or Tyler Warren and I'm trying to decide.
0:04Because I love both of them. You think about it.
0:04He's going Loveland. He's a Loveland guy. He's going Loveland.
0:04He's going to be left. He's too involved with the Bears.
0:04And the problem is I don't want to root for anyone on the Colts because I think they're going to suck.
0:04So I'm going to take Colston Loveland. That's a problem.
0:04I think that's a good choice. I honestly can't believe you're still here.
0:04Thank you, everybody. That's fair. That's the 46 pick or something.
0:04You stabbed me in the heart. I like three of Bill's four picks.
0:04Go away. You wanted him? Oh, yeah. Okay. The price of him is so expensive.
0:04But Colston Loveland 46 is what I'm saying. Let's go.
0:04Stay on watch the ice cream. We know. The whole, I can't believe you're still here.
0:04It's such a dirty shit. Whoa. Did we all screw up?
0:04What do we do? So, all right. I am going.
0:04Sticker. Where's blue? Yeah, there we go. The colors and stickers have really defeated this league.
0:04We're starting three receivers. Wait a minute. Oh, oh.
0:04Something to work on. Yeah, we got it. Yeah.
0:04We accept criticism. Can we run a Netflix poll on people?
0:04I might not. We're actually sleeping. Let's run a poll on.
0:04Because, like, millions of people staring at my ass right now.
0:04Yeah. Right? Millions. I'm going to get that to stick.
0:04Oh, yeah. Good player. Welcome to Team Sal. Wait.
0:04How are we feeling about the foot? How are we feeling about the foot?
0:04You know, the new normal of, like, the bone callous thing.
0:04Oh, Chris is feeling great. Chris knows exactly what he wants.
0:04He's up. Because he waits for 20 minutes to make his picks.
0:04No thoughts on Roma Doonze's foot from the group.
0:04Okay. Tyler Warren? Tyler Warren. Good pick. Good pick.
0:04Tyler Warren tied in from the Colts. Mmm. Sal took Tyler Warren last year in the fifth round.
0:04And we all made fun of him. And then the first half of the season, Sal looked like a genius before he just absolutely cratered.
0:04And did you even make the playoffs? I did not.
0:04No. I don't know. That's a rarity. You almost always make the playoffs in every fantasy.
0:04He was really good. I wasn't in the first half of the bracket.
0:04You saw him very hot. That was one of the best fantasy players I've ever played with.
0:04Thanks, man. I have no trophies. But, I mean, that's...
0:04One of the best players you've ever played with?
0:04And he's never won a league? He wins a lot of fucking leagues.
0:04You taking Caleb? I'm taking Caleb because I want to cheer for someone with a fight to go.
0:04Arm like that. It's just fun to be on the board.
0:04I'll tell you what. I was thinking about Hurts.
0:04I had Hurts in fantasy. Like Mal said, it just doesn't feel good if it's not going well.
0:04It's a lot of experience. Because you're an Eagles fan.
0:04I love him. I've watched, like... Chris, your team's fun.
0:04Yeah. So are you admitting that it's not fun watching Jalen Hurts right now?
0:04No, I'm admitting that it's not fun having him on your fantasy team.
0:04Because you're an Eagles fan. If he's like, I've thrown for 95 yards, fuck you, we won.
0:04That's good for me, but it's not good for my fantasy team.
0:04I can't have that. All right. Really good. Okay, so Sal on the clock.
0:04Sal, you have B. John Robinson and Devon H.
0:04I'm running back. Pickens and a Dunze. Oh, yeah, okay.
0:04Another receiver. I'm starving. I can't believe there's no snacks.
0:04No pizza, donuts. They're right outside. Mal, snack our mess.
0:04Get the flowers. I got my team. He's all yours, man.
0:04He's all yours. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy your three touchdowns.
0:04Congrats. Or if you're lucky. Snack on this. I mean, in the most respects.
0:04Respectfully, of course. It's more of the moose, bitch.
0:04It's more of the moose, bitch. There's always a moment when it becomes clear that there's only one actually funny person at this whole company.
0:04That's very nice. Snack on his. So true. Bill's up.
0:04I was up. Phillip. Don't do it. I feel like do what?
0:04I like how many pages you're ripping through to find a player.
0:04There's an obvious pick here for Bill, I think.
0:04There's a guy that I want. He talked to this team all week.
0:04He needs a quarterback. Yeah, take a quarterback. Oh, yeah.
0:04There is. What's wrong? No. Tate's just fucking sick of this.
0:04That's his fault. He went outside to use his computer and look some stuff up.
0:04I had to call Joel. He said he hates the team.
0:04Yeah, wait. So you're co-managing this with Joel. Yeah, Joel Anderson is also.
0:04How many picks have we made? Not enough. We got 50?
0:04Exactly. Speaking of which, yeah. This is going on here.
0:0451 or something? Yep. Exactly 50. Yep. Always a one-off.
0:04I don't love this pick, but I think he's going to have a good year, and I need somebody safe because I like my team.
0:04Where's the running backs? Running backs. Jeremiah? Damn it.
0:04I like that House and Bill just know exactly who each other are.
0:04I swear to God. Say his name. I swear to God.
0:04No. I don't know what he's going to do.
0:04If he doesn't take him, I'm picking him. Don't say whose name.
0:04Don't worry about it. No, but I don't know.
0:04That's safe. Bob Craft. James White. You're not allowed to.
0:04We're going to set right now because you can't talk about that.
0:04We're not the Brady roast. He's like, we'll just end it.
0:04I'm fucking good. I'm literally with setting here. Boring, but solid bits.
0:04I like that. Here's my reasoning. I think Texans match.
0:04I really like the Texans. I think they're going to have the lead all season.
0:04I just think he's going to have like 15 touchdowns.
0:04You're a motherfucker. Because that's literally what I was going to take.
0:04The exact same rationale. 1100 yards, 15 touchdowns. Exactly right.
0:04The worst red zone efficiency teams in the NFL finally has a running back.
0:04And he has no competition. He just has no backup.
0:04It's fine. They're going to be inside the league.
0:04Do we have our team? Bill? We should have.
0:04We should have any more problems. It would be a cue.
0:04Like the draft. Or Mallory would be in there with their back.
0:04I think it's nice and then like a heating pack.
0:04All right. Injury concerns. It's fine. Shitty offense. Doesn't matter.
0:04I wanted them. Jeremiah. Yeah. I like this. This is late enough.
0:04Yeah, exactly. It was a point round. And I waited on running backs.
0:04Now I have a high upside. I couldn't do that with Jenty.
0:04To reward my stress. You get the only two running backs with ankle injury.
0:04That would be. The upside is fucking nuts. I got to say, I feel great about my team.
0:04Yeah. It looks good. I missed on that one.
0:04Oh my God. Okay. Where are you going, Sean?
0:04Okay. Sean is up. Go, Sean. QBs? We're seeing it.
0:04100 catches. I think he might be right. I was going to say.
0:04Sean, where are you at on the Jets this year?
0:04Gino Smith back a decade. Five wins. 3,500 passing yards.
0:0430 touchdowns. 26 interceptions for. 26. 26. They're going to throw the ball all over the ball.
0:04He's going for Jameis. He's going for Jameis' 30-30 record.
0:04Frank Reich is the OC. I'm feeling it, Sean.
0:04It's a run on the Jets, baby. Oh my God.
0:04Are you on the Jets? I thought he already dropped him.
0:04I think so, too. I thought he dropped him.
0:04They're going to suck, but their offense is going to be kind of good.
0:04You can get Mike Evans. He's running to the podium.
0:04Mike Evans with the handshake. I have to get another running back, and I have one in mind.
0:04I have one in mind. Running backs dropping off a cliff right now.
0:04I don't know. Are they? I have two running backs on week 11, so I had to get another.
0:04Blading conversation right now. It's kind of even undersea.
0:04Yeah. We can try and throw a balleries team up.
0:04Let's talk. Did you know there are any bagels out there?
0:04Are there really? I might get some. Well, Malice, the rating champ, you're like, I want to check in from you and your team.
0:04Oh, wow. The best running back in the day.
0:04I like that pick, Tate. That's awesome, Tate. I like that pick.
0:04I was thinking about that. I thought about him.
0:04Tate, great pick. I'm kind of rattled by that Tate, Tate.
0:04I'm rattled. Tate is coming for Bill today. Is there a bigger delta between rookie running back for the defending Super Bowl
0:04champions and then Quinshawn Judkins with the Sean Watson Browns, like back to back?
0:04I downgraded him when he just didn't show up for practice four days ago.
0:04What was your man? Who needs it? What's your favorite part of Cleveland this season, Dave?
0:04The weather. Top 100 food cities. They have good ball of sandwiches in Cleveland.
0:04Great casino. I always wanted to hear them. I like the mustard and the hot dog at the baseball.
0:04What have you seen a game you're playing at the casino?
0:04I like mustard and the casino. Crabs. I like Bucky.
0:04I'm thinking Bucky. Done. Bucky? Bucky. Bucky. Bucky. Bucky.
0:04Bucky. I like that. Are you guys? What are your feelings on Judkins?
0:04Bucky's good. I think Judkins is a little great.
0:04But he literally still beat a hot dog. I'm worried about Kenny Gainwell.
0:04That's what I was worried about. I think Judkins is like a great individual player.
0:04But like between. Team sucks. I thought you were going to say individual person.
0:04You know. Youth is wasted on the end. And then.
0:04But no. It's like the. Literally the Browns have.
0:04They don't play it into a game. It's out.
0:04My voice is a mess. He's going to run.
0:04Oh, here. What a strange group of running backs.
0:04Three Saul. Jadarian Price. I can't like it. I can't get some Bucky.
0:04Six of seven running backs. Who do you like the best?
0:04Who do you like the best of those four?
0:04I think Jadarian Price and the Seahawks. Because they're going to win.
0:04That's what I think. No. Tate. Tate. Tate's crushing it.
0:04Really good. I really seriously thought about him. Yeah.
0:04It's a great pick. I'm going to Texan. Sorry, Craig.
0:04I know. Ben, is it weird? I'm the running back.
0:04What did you do? When Bucky. Because I feel like the NFL missed on him.
0:04But he was like. He was better in college than he was.
0:04Like he went to a small and short. Small and short.
0:04Where do you go to college? All right. DeAndre Swift.
0:04DeAndre Swift for me, please. I don't mind that.
0:04I don't mind that. Seven or eight. Unsexy but good pick.
0:04I'll pick. There's a cliff at running back right now.
0:04We just dropped off a cliff. We're officially in tootin' range.
0:04Yeah. Okay. Craig. This is probably going to kill me.
0:04James Cook. Chase Brown. Luther Bird. And Drake May.
0:04Rico Datto? Not even a joke. Rico Datto range?
0:04Yeah. Drew Allers. I'm on the board. There's a quarterback run.
0:04Sean's going to take Drew Allers. I'm a couple rounds away from Rico Datto range, I think.
0:04Ayuk? I got to rip the damn page. Yeah, Brandon Ayuk is on the board.
0:04You're good with real estate. Can I ask you, what do you think of Brandon Ayuk buying a $10 million house and
0:04selling it for $8 million 11 days later? What a backhanded.
0:04I'll take the compliment. I'm going to take Devonta Adams.
0:04All right. Wow. Okay. Good pick. Sir. You're doing both.
0:04You got to get the stack. That's what it's all about.
0:04Are you taking Metcalf? Never. Not with a 10-foot pole.
0:04No. If it says no Steelers rule this year.
0:04I'm just sick of the Steelers, man. I hate watching them play.
0:04I totally agree. You can't predict them. We don't care.
0:04Just put a stick in there. Who is it?
0:04I'm taking Christian Watson and Mike Evans. Mike Evans and Christian Watson.
0:04Okay, sweet. Mike Evans. I thought that warranted all the preamble.
0:04Craig back. Craig, yeah. It's so funny the old guys in the fantasy draft were...
0:04It's just going to end up being a good pick again.
0:04Mike Evans. It's been three years in a row.
0:04We're like, ah, I don't know. It's like 10 injuries already.
0:04He fucking barely played last year. No, but he had like seven, eight weeks where he was awesome.
0:04At number 60. That's a pretty good pick. Yeah.
0:04If you add those two guys together, Mike Evans Hall of Famer.
0:04He'll get 17 games out of him. True. He's dead.
0:04He's dead. He's dead. And people went nuts saying he wasn't.
0:04I don't see how he could be. He's definitely a Hall of Famer.
0:04It's like eight seasons of 1,000 yards. Like 100 touchdowns.
0:04I don't see how he couldn't be. It's not even close.
0:04He won a Super Bowl. He'll have to say, right?
0:04Some people are saying, I don't know. Mike Evans Merchant.
0:04Danny, walk us through your strategy. Four receivers so far.
0:04So it's just honest. I think, Mel, you were right when it's like a three receiver league and people like...
0:04The Superflex, it's obvious. Like a quarterback can go first overall if he has two starters.
0:04But people don't think as much, if you go from two receivers to three, that there's more demand.
0:04It's like a 12-team league with three receivers that's 36 starting receivers every week plus the flex.
0:04So I kind of just want to get running back out of the way so you guys have to do this shit
0:04and just take Judkins and Bucky Irving. And then that way I'm just kind of...
0:04One of these guys won't suck. And I think one of these guys will pop.
0:04And it's just a volume thing of like... He'll probably...
0:04One of these guys will break my heart. One will be good.
0:04Two will be average. That's what I was going to do.
0:04Respectful to Bucky Irving. Are you taking Parker Washington?
0:04You're taking Parker Washington. No, that's what I was going to say.
0:04Are you kidding me? No, Parker Washington. Oh, that's great.
0:04Surprised he made it this far. Yeah, thank you.
0:04Session. That was a great pick. Getting sniped over here.
0:04Around the right range. So where are we on Parker Washington and Brian Thomas?
0:04Actually, Van, what do you think of Brian Thomas having an amazing rookie year and then dropping off?
0:04You'll be taking him in a few big events teams.
0:04I'm actually not going to take him, but I think the best is still to come from him.
0:04I think a lot of it was in his head.
0:04I think he's actually physically more gifted. Scary to me.
0:04Gary, okay. In a lot of ways. He came away more impressive.
0:04Oh. That's the first time you fucked me up.
0:04Were you going to take him? Oh, I'm sorry.
0:04I was about to take him. The fact that you won't take him with your receiver, like Brian Thomas.
0:04Everybody would take Terry. I mean, you gotta take Terry.
0:04I know. Now I have to take him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:04All of you. You're right. I am taking him.
0:04Brian Thomas? Yeah. Who? Brian Thomas Jr. I was going to take Terry Mack.
0:04Van Lathan Tigers. Wait, you could just say anything?
0:04He's taking him, right? There's still, I kind of think his last pick should be Van Jefferson.
0:04That's just kind of thing too. Yeah, yeah. That's a fucking Florida guy.
0:04I never hated his guts. What do you think of Tank Biggs being?
0:04They're going to be. I was going to take Terry Mack for my people from horrible.
0:04He's like such an underrated receiver. I love him, but I have to go with BT.
0:04Chang knows what he wants. Did you avoid your fifth pick on LSU out of respect for Jim Daniels?
0:04Yeah. I should have. I think Chang's been the MVP with making picks so far.
0:04He fucked us up, man. He knows he's on the clock.
0:04He's moving toward the list. Hands. Moved away. It's like he's running the kitchen right now.
0:04It's kind of terrifying seeing how many picks we have left.
0:04It's unbelievable. We got it wrong. What time is it?
0:05Don't look. You're going to be terrified. That's not terrible.
0:05What time are we starting? 9.30? It's respectfully face down.
0:05You guys realize that half of it is just like this situation right here?
0:05Just like the actual stickers. It's the stickers. It's the stickers.
0:05We just thought adults could do stickers. I don't like that.
0:05Thank you. Well, the good news is it didn't work last year, so we did it again.
0:05We're tight ends. I was really... He's not going to do that.
0:05So, Dave, you took Jameson Williams to the Lions.
0:05I like that thing. As a fourth receiver, he's pretty great.
0:05That's great. Oh, that's right. That means he's... No.
0:05I like Jameson Williams as your fourth receiver. Yeah.
0:05For the same reason you're saying, the run on receivers.
0:05Yeah. It's easier to find a running back during the season than it is a top-quality receiver in my mind.
0:05Yes. Once the receivers run out, they don't really...
0:05This is going to be the end. Stop. Are you serious?
0:05This is just... Oh! It finally happened. Oh, Kyle!
0:05Kyle! NFC South. More on the slide. You were going to do that?
0:05Oh, my God. Jesus. Shit. Oh, my God. Why?
0:05Because I just believe, you know? Yeah. This is the year.
0:05I see the potential. He keeps getting better every day.
0:05It's got a bob. It's got a bob. It's got a bob.
0:05You put Jack in there, get him throwing the ball to him.
0:05Wait, Pitt Sr. That's different from the shitty guy that catches three.
0:05Kyle took back Prescott. Okay. Oh, how else? Come on.
0:05That's sitting right next to you, buddy. Oh, no.
0:05Really offensive. Oh, my elbows here. You already have a cowboy.
0:05A cowboy. Oh. Oh. How's why did you take Dak right there?
0:05Looking at the quarterback list, there is no other quarterback that can throw for 4,500 yards and 40 touchdowns left on this list from what I can tell.
0:05So. Interesting that he passed on Jaden Daniels. I'm just kind of on all the boards.
0:054,500 yards and 40 touchdowns. Your guy, Jaden Daniels.
0:05Put the shirt on. Rushing's even better. Oh, I love that.
0:05That's a great pick. Did you see his touchdown last night?
0:05Incredible. I don't want Jaden Daniels to run, Danny.
0:05Kind of like a big touchdown. You see, you can try to manifest.
0:05You're trying to manifest. He's not running. If he doesn't run, he can play.
0:05That's awesome. I almost took him. I should have probably taken him.
0:05If they just open it up and start throwing.
0:05That was disrespectful. If they just open it up and start throwing.
0:05I took Kyle Fitz over. Do you think it's funny Quentin Johnson plays for Harbaugh when it's like the best play of
0:05Quentin Johnson's college career was against Harbaugh at Michigan?
0:05I think that's like half the reason he gets the ball.
0:05A hundred percent. Yeah, he's like this. I have to prove that this actually was worth it.
0:05He was good enough. Harbaugh has J.K. Dobbins because he remembers him playing versus Ohio State and just being like, wow, that guy.
0:05Taking the guy you guys have talked about more than any other player.
0:05Darn two. Rootin' for Tootin'. Rootin' for Tootin'. Get a piece of the Jags.
0:05Don't know about this. Yeah. That's a boomer bus pick right there.
0:05I like it. Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Do you actually believe in Basial Tootin' or is that a bit?
0:05Uh, I believe in the upside. Bill, you've got to take Henderson.
0:05You've got to take Travion. You've got to believe.
0:05Trevor Lawrence is sitting right there for him. This is a real test because I think I took Dak Prescott.
0:05Yeah. Because I did not want to take Trevor Lawrence.
0:05You didn't? You're not in. Really? You're out on Trevor Lawrence?
0:05Bill loves Lawrence. Bill's going to take Lawrence. Too inconsistent.
0:05Bill doesn't have a QB. Is this the latest Bill's ever gone?
0:05Oh, isn't Bill? That's his whole thing. He's like, Bill.
0:05He sniped him on Dak to it. And Bill scrams out.
0:05He didn't. You seem like you're in the spin zone right now.
0:05You okay? Yeah. KJ Brown is going to be great.
0:05We, so do we have a flex? I can't remember.
0:05Three wide receivers, two running backs, flex. And it's a two quarterback late.
0:05Good it, Ben. Good thinking. We were sitting here picking our noses.
0:05Going to get a running back. Going to take defense?
0:05He's taking another tight end. He's taking another tight end.
0:05He's taking Tucker Kraft. Laporta. What are you doing with the door?
0:05Tight end. Bannon? I actually have no idea who Bill's picking.
0:05You're going to tight end in the flex spot.
0:05Oh, I see. Laporta. Laporta? Sam Laporta. That's a good pick.
0:05Super good. That's a good pick. I like Sam.
0:05He's cornering the tight end mark. He'll be in your other injured reserve slot week.
0:05One of the action is. He's no Kyle Fitz, but he's a good boy.
0:05Wow. Oh my God. This is what? This is waffle.
0:05Oh my God. This is great. You make all that in like two minutes?
0:05I'm going to the chicken. Chicken. Yeah, let's do that one.
0:05All right. So Dave has walked in with food.
0:05Amazing. I assume your mic is on. Oh. What do we got?
0:05What's on the menu, Dave? Anything. I'll take anything.
0:05He's locked in. He's serving. All right. Amazing. So we got your best available.
0:05We got it up there on the screen. Incredible.
0:05All right. Let's go. What a good friend. Stay healthy, my man.
0:05Is that a camera? That was great. That's great.
0:05Tucker Craft, the Titan. Okay. CR. We got best available on the screen.
0:05So you can talk through your process if you're wondering.
0:05Tweak it a little bit. It gets... It dies, I believe.
0:05You know, earlier on, I was trying to trade one of those guys.
0:05What are you going to do here? Come on, CR.
0:05I mean, CR, you took Caleb Williams. You've got Jaden Daniels and Jalen Hurts are still there.
0:05You've got Reminders, Stevenson, Travion. Lawrence. We've got Marvin Harrison.
0:05I like that you've been rocking the Ducks happily.
0:05I know, I'm trying to get NIL money. And I don't feel bad about not even.
0:05Can you pull that off? Secondary business upside up?
0:05Can't just normal people get NIL money? I'd believe anything with the NCAA.
0:05Ringer's gone Big Ten. We've got UCLA Bill, we've got Oregon Curry.
0:05So Joel has eligibility left. We could send, in theory, we could send Joel back.
0:05Joel has three years of eligibility. He's on the practice squad.
0:05Van, I believe this guy also has a father.
0:05Marvin Harrison Jr. from Arizona. I like it. His father's handy with the steel.
0:05What would you say he's back and on for?
0:05Just being a solid pair of hands. And then...
0:05Billy's own. Big collector of antique guns. Collector. Known as a collector.
0:05Just saying. I'm going to go with... It's got to be Hertz.
0:05No. You've got best available, Steve. You're going running back, quarterback?
0:05I can't believe how much CR hates Jalen Hurts.
0:05It's not that I don't hate him. I just don't want him on the team.
0:05I don't want to confuse myself. Is that worse?
0:05I don't hate him, I just don't want him on the team.
0:05Yeah. Chris Ryan drafted David Boston Jr. again. I'm going to go with Ramondra.
0:05He's basically David Boston. Oh, Ramondra. Damn you. Wow.
0:05Exactly. That's a rock solid pick. I think that's a great pick.
0:05I like it, CR. I don't like cheering for Patriots, but here we go.
0:05Solid team here. Welcome aboard, CR. He's going to be incredible.
0:05The year of CR continues. All right. Don't do it.
0:05Who made the finals last year? Me and Mal.
0:05No, Hal, you don't have... Who was in last place?
0:05I bet I did. Craig and Mal had the same record, and then Mal won, and Craig came in last place in
0:05the toilet bowl bracket, which is pretty incredible. But we're getting rid of that this year.
0:05Now it's just regular season loser. Yes. He's the loser.
0:05Who did you think was going to win after the draft last year?
0:05Sal's team was great. We should do that. Sal's team was right.
0:05Do a... You can do a vote. I was going to say, yeah.
0:05DK, which team do you like the most right now?
0:05That makes me feel like it. We see how it always has the best team on paper.
0:05Hey, we all love Tate, right? Come on. Yeah.
0:05Mike and I. Can't wait to drop him. Can't catch them all.
0:05Can't catch them all. Yes. That is my least favorite pick of the entire draft so far.
0:05Okay. I like Carnell. I kind of like Chris's team right now.
0:05I'm going to go ahead. Chris's team's good. Yeah.
0:05Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck. And the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person.
0:05You probably know one. Your buddy. Your sister. Ones who always show up.
0:05They're the first to rise, the last to leave.
0:05They always have that little extra something. And maybe you've got it too.
0:05Chevrolet. Together, let's drive. Visit chevy.com slash trucks to explore the lineup.
0:05The Ringer Fantasy Football Show is brought to you by FanDuel.
0:05Before the football season begins, every team is undefeated.
0:05Every fan believes this could be the year. The year their team wins the division, makes the playoffs, lifts the trophy.
0:05And with FanDuel, you can bet on any of it.
0:05From who will win it all and division winners to season win totals and playoff futures, FanDuel has all the ways to
0:05bet on the season before it even begins. Easiest bet.
0:05The Broncos are 20-1 to win the Super Bowl.
0:05I don't really understand that because the Broncos made the AFC Championship game last year, should have won, but Bo Nix got
0:05injured, and then kept the entire team, and now they're 20-1.
0:05That doesn't really make any sense to me because the Broncos probably are going to have the second best defense in the AFC.
0:05How do the Broncos have the same Super Bowl odds as the Packers?
0:05That doesn't make any sense. Like, the Packers would be really weird if they made the Super Bowl, or at least surprising.
0:05The Broncos, it would be super normal. So the Broncos are 20-1.
0:05It just feels mispriced. So get your football future bets in today on FanDuel.
0:05Visit FanDuel.com slash Ringer Fantasy to get started. 21-plus select states or 18-plus DC or Wyoming.
0:05Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut.
0:05I think Craig's kind of not missed yet. Are you just trying to make him feel good?
0:05I'm a partner. He's just hyping him up. Yeah, we give her Chris's team.
0:05I like Dave's team in theory. Bill is quietly on the clock the longest here.
0:05Yeah. It's just because I can't see. My team went in the comments.
0:05Do you have your prescription of contact? I felt really good.
0:05You guys are windmilling in warm-ups. It's... Oh. The belt hasn't worked at all.
0:05Any day now. Where did you kick her? What color?
0:05Oh, I know. God. We just pulled it from the car.
0:05I didn't notice. Oh, it's a quarterback. We're back.
0:05Time for Lawrence. Can we play him off the stage here?
0:05I can't wait to date it. How much care?
0:05I'm married. I'm wrapping up music. Did we have the Oscars music available?
0:05Bill, say something. Stop. Where's that? We're back. Trevor Lawrence, quarterback from the Jacksonville Giants.
0:05By the way, fifth in fantasy points last year out of everybody?
0:05I'll take them. Enjoy. Trevor Lawrence goes before Hurts and Jaden Daniels.
0:05Those people hate Hurts. And a handsome man. Is he?
0:05Didn't even make the top 16. I just said that to me.
0:05Not to make Mallory. Not for handsomeness. Not really my vibe.
0:05Get back to me when he's 55. He's a Targaryen.
0:05What do you mean he's not your vibe? No.
0:05Who did you think was the hottest quarterback? I almost took him two rounds ago.
0:05Oh, I have so many votes for you guys.
0:05The women voted. I know all seven of your listeners.
0:05I listen to your podcast, so I know all your bits.
0:05I think she was genuinely, genuinely hurt. She wasn't invited on the pod.
0:05No, I'm sorry. No, look. She's turning red. She was upset.
0:05I would have gotten fired. It was an official.
0:05It was almost an act of war. You're better off at this point than somebody else.
0:05We're going to have the hottest coaches next year.
0:05We'll see where that ranking is. Yeah, exactly. You can do the...
0:05I was totally... I don't know. I don't know.
0:05I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:05I don't know. It was already strong. Do you know what I almost said?
0:05I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:05I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:05I don't know. I don't know. Holy shit. Yep.
0:05Wow. She's at the strip club. Bunch of points.
0:05That's right. Just your perspective on who's going to score points.
0:05Mal's taking to John Stribling, the rookie receiver in the San Francisco 49ers.
0:05That's who I was going to take. Whenever Prescott got hurt, they still score points.
0:05We had him 99 and we're like really high.
0:05I think Mal's got the best scene. I'm not rooting for players I want.
0:05That's my philosophy to share. Mal's rooting for players I want.
0:05I would say last year, Sal kept taking rookies.
0:05No punishment. Yes. What a fucking pussy. Look at that.
0:05Look at that. I knew that was going to happen.
0:05I knew that was going to happen. Sean is back.
0:05He's happy. That's embarrassing. That's really unbelievable. You got your shit.
0:05Why are you so afraid to lose? I know what's happening.
0:05Why are you so afraid to lose? You left it out there for me.
0:05Oh my goodness. To be honest, we put it out there as me.
0:05I'm the least qualified person to be sitting in this circle right now.
0:05I cannot be doing a punishment. Terrible. Corlin, I'm sure you're going with the 76 hot dogs.
0:05Wait, where are we at? The last thing I want ever is Sal knocking on my door.
0:05It's trick or trick. No matter the circumstances. That is so...
0:05You know what? I'm going to... Yeah. All right, Tate, you're up.
0:05This could be really bad if I do it.
0:05Sal, how do you feel about Sean taking no punishment in round seven?
0:05I really respected it. Was there really not one on there that you would be okay with?
0:05Sure. For like four hours? Yeah, I would have done that.
0:05Yeah, yeah. I had to predict the whole thing.
0:05I was going to go with digs, but that just feels insane.
0:05So I'm going to go with Josh Downs. Another Tar Heel.
0:05I like that. What would you have done, though, if you would listen to Matt Dane and your daughter have been like,
0:05this is my son of Tate's back. I'm kind of like, Drafton.
0:05Drafton. Drafton. Drafton. Drafton. Drafton. Yeah. Drafton. I had digs in my mind, but I just can't trust digs.
0:05Chang has just done an incredible fun. Here we go.
0:05That's a great pick. Great value. Thank you, sir.
0:05Kind of weird that he fell down. That justifies the waiting that line.
0:05You know what? I think this relationship started adversarial, but I got to tell you, this was a really good team.
0:05Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 15 rushing touchdowns right there.
0:05That's crazy. And every once in a while, he'll throw for 89 yards.
0:05And you'll just hate your leg for a couple of hours.
0:05Seven for 10. 89 yards. Two rushes. Who was the defensive tackle that was?
0:05Oh, Chris Jones in the Chiefs. He was like, you didn't have 100 yards.
0:05You're a tight end. We won, bitch. Yeah. You said shut up.
0:05Harry. It's tough with the ring. Harry Fanon. Picked him up last year.
0:05DK got him for like $53. Dropped him. Then I picked him up for like a buck.
0:05It was great. Oh, yeah. That was the guy.
0:05That was the guy. That's a good pick. This is a perfect time to say it.
0:05We had a bunch of people asking. Is he the only one?
0:05Is he the only one? Maybe it was like $53.
0:05I was just like, I'm getting him. I don't know how many.
0:05Who did he drop? People. I wanted to go back to Vink.
0:05I saw him. I don't know. That just feels like a no-brainer.
0:05What? What about him? You know what? Never mind.
0:05Mallory just gave away my big fab bid from last year, week one.
0:05Do you remember? Oh, you spent all your money in Harold Fan and then you were embarrassed?
0:05And then I still dropped him? And he dropped him.
0:05Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of your best theories was how after a certain point, every tight end has the exact same stats.
0:05Yes. Like eight points. We have reached that point.
0:05They all have 20 guys that will have the exact same points at the end of the year.
0:05So it's one of those like a graph where you're like, oh, it's the eighth.
0:05Did something happen with this course in the last week?
0:05I'm not updating it. Sam LaBona. I think everyone's curious to get hurt.
0:05No, the tonsil injury I think is why people hurt.
0:05The tonsil injury was fucked up. That's why everybody.
0:05You didn't it? There. You're taking. Jayden Daniels. Fine.
0:05Okay. You guys look at that. That fantasy guy.
0:05Turn his page though. The stack. That's crazy that he's available.
0:05I think the house guy wanted a reporter came out of the day.
0:05Wait, this is important. Why did the two of us get hurt?
0:05Yeah. Because the offensive line is pathetic. Yeah. And we can't have anything to do with that.
0:06He has to play Jalen Carter. He's throwing it.
0:06Van didn't take him for LSU either. You were like, I'm going for it.
0:06No one has to play Jalen Carter twice a year.
0:06He's going to play his brother. He has to play his brother.
0:06He has to play his brother. He's getting good.
0:06Our season was over. Full stop. We did over-enders yesterday and we just could not say enough about how bad the offensive
0:06line is going to be for them. It's pathetic.
0:06It's the worst one of all of them. You're not wrong.
0:06I believe in him. It's like a lot of that.
0:06Great job. Good luck. You'll get rushing yards for the four games that he plays before he gets hurt.
0:06Oh yeah. That's fantastic. Great rushing yards. He's just going to save here.
0:06Drew Aller? I'm going to make him play Travion Henderson.
0:06That's the right answer. I don't know why Simmons didn't grab him.
0:06I don't even like Travion and I'm just going to take him.
0:06You should wonder why I didn't grab him. Look, he'll win you two weeks.
0:06By two wins. I'm trick-or-treating. What would be a trick-or-treat strategy?
0:06I'll get the two cold cans of soup from a trick-or-treater and then drink those.
0:06Do two at once. It would be funny if you get a player and then a punishment.
0:06Like you're not happy with the play. You just go.
0:06Honestly, I might as well at this point. This part of the draft sucks.
0:06If you lose twice in a row, you have to do three.
0:06See, no quarterback. Craig, did you lose on points or on record?
0:06Or both? Neither. We did like a loser's bracket.
0:06Yeah, loser's bracket. But I was like seven. That's when Sean flipped out.
0:06That's when Sean lost it. I lost though. But he flipped out about it.
0:06He really didn't want to wear the handband. And then at the end he thought he was safe.
0:06He had to go back and play on the 12th of the playoff.
0:06It was just the best Sean Finnisky has left the conversation.
0:06We were talking about this. When you left the group chat.
0:06He dramatically quit the group chat. That was great.
0:06That was my favorite part of the season. Done.
0:06I'm going to make a legitimately bad pick. And I'm going to take Jonathan Brooks and the Panthers.
0:06Because I loved all nine of his carries. That's not a bad pick.
0:06Yeah, how dare you. You saw a rainbow down on his live show.
0:06But uh, great pick. That would have been a baller move.
0:06Like no punishment. I thought about it. See you losers.
0:06That would have been tough for a draft. Getting it all done.
0:06I'm serious. He just did a seven minute podcast with Greta Gerwig.
0:06I was with this morning. CR you want a vamp while I make this pick?
0:06What's that? I almost opened the door and walked in and said, Get out of the cross touch!
0:06Come on! Do some crowd work. That just occurred to me that when we're on opposite ends, that's the point.
0:06Do you guys like stuff? I think it's okay that LeBron James borrowed $300 million against future earnings.
0:06I think it's great. Wow. You know? It's like a creative financial.
0:06It's very good. That's short man. It's a big deal.
0:06He wanted the money. Yeah. This is not updated right?
0:06He took along some. He didn't want the annuity.
0:06It is updating but slowly. Oh okay. You'll see them trick because they're doing it manually.
0:06I saw them in there. They're like erasing the names and then updating it.
0:06They don't have stickers back then? Me. Do you guys ever wonder which letters are which order?
0:06Oh boy. Tell us who you're taking. I'm taking Jaden Reed and the Packers.
0:06I love him. It's kind of a reach but I'm like I just they give him the ball around the goal line so much.
0:06He's just a he plays like a grown ass man.
0:06He beats the shit out of bigger people and they just always give him the ball at the goal line.
0:06And he's gonna score a ton of touchdowns. And I like him as my fifth guy.
0:06I'm gonna get stuck with a horrific quarterback. Yeah.
0:06Well. You're sorry you have to do my strategy.
0:06Nobody. You're good. I'm good baby. Oh you. He's about to take one.
0:06I'm good. Okay Craig you're up. Craig take a second quarterback here.
0:06Yeah. That's what I would do. Aller is kind of.
0:06He's falling there. He's staring at you right there.
0:06Aller is falling. Hold on. While Craig's doing that.
0:06What food did you just walk into this draft with?
0:06What is this? There are some wraps from a restaurant that I saw in the room.
0:06I just took it. That's good stuff. Those are Richard Max's style.
0:06Oh, they're telling me in my ear that was for all the production staff.
0:06That was the NFL staff. Is that true? No, I made it up.
0:06That's not as funny. No, it's not true. Jalen Warren?
0:06I'm taking Jalen Warren. I'm taking a Pittsburgh Steeler.
0:06Is that the first backup running back ticket? No, Trayvon Anderson was.
0:06I believe. What's Dattel versus Warren? I thought Dattel was maybe winning the job.
0:06How come two cousins are gone yet? I think Warren's going to be the game.
0:06Gotcha. They need that. I think we're in punishment territory.
0:06I do want to ask Dave. I actually, I would love for you to, if anyone does the chapter of Terry Bradshaw's
0:06book that they have to eat if they come in last place, how would you prepare a chapter of a book to eat?
0:06You should have to eat it raw. I would turn his book into a burnt sauce.
0:06Eat it raw? Seriously. Oh, wow. I would burn it into ash and I would make a sauce that goes with like a nice juicy beer chop.
0:06Wow. Damn, I like that. That sounds great. Wow.
0:06Chris is right. We should have specified. That was like the easiest one.
0:06You're going to make it delicious. It's a lot.
0:06I can reduce it to an oil. It could be a big.
0:06D.K. Wondell Robinson. First Tennessee Titan. Wondell Robinson. No Colonel Tate's off the board.
0:06He had the seventh highest target rate in the NFL last year with the same offensive play callers.
0:06Okay. He's a cheat code. You got the concussion discounted.
0:06You okay? Yeah. Okay. I know. Van, you're on the clock.
0:06I know. I. Mal's back is just going in the middle of this live stream.
0:06You should lie on the floor like Larry Bird did in the 92 season.
0:06We've got like 19 rounds left, so maybe I will.
0:06Tate, you threw your back out and that's how he met you.
0:06You were just lying down. Tate, yeah. That was during Against All Odds.
0:06Yeah. You're recording while on the ground. I'm better now.
0:06What was that stunt just out, Tate? You don't go for like another 20.
0:06I can't find a name that I'm looking for on the board and then I'm like, he has to be in the list.
0:06Harrison Bucker? What's up? What are you looking for?
0:06Who will hover? Who will hover? He makes the weights.
0:06He's got a good shoe. Good job. I have a problem with that.
0:06So unlike me, you want a Panthers running back that's going to play this season.
0:06Best available list is killing me because I keep thinking I have a chance of someone.
0:06All lips. Keep them coming back. Don't look at that.
0:06I got behind on my mark. That's it when I went to that.
0:06Okay, he's up there now. All right. Shang is up.
0:06Ready to go. Shang's always ready. He really is.
0:06If only we had him in the group shot.
0:06Crossy mirrors. For a color we've... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
0:06The kicker. What is that? Oh, no, no. As a punishment?
0:06I don't get it. Are you going to take a kicker?
0:06I just might. Round eight. I didn't do it.
0:06It's fine. If you look at the point totals for your team last year, they were like top 50.
0:06Looking for Brandon Olley? Green Little and the Seattle kicker.
0:06They were like your top 50 players. So you guys can laugh.
0:06We will. We will. We will. We will. We will.
0:06It happens on Stranger Things all the time. We're definitely going to laugh.
0:06Yeah. That's so true. This is proof of how stupid fantasy is.
0:06Oh, Camel. That's all. What? I like. Sure. My God.
0:06Well, I didn't want the same bye week as well.
0:06What? Where's the wide receivers? You took a kicker because of the bye week?
0:06No. I didn't want to take Aubrey because of...
0:06Wait, Fairbairn? Is there a kicker anymore? Fairbairn's for Houston.
0:06He's Houston. They're both... Aubrey's in Dallas. On this list, it says Fairbairn's on Pittsburgh.
0:06What the... That is... Incorrect. Is that terrible? Incorrect.
0:06That's definitely a type of... Chris Boswell's place. Yeah.
0:06Camel's in Jacksonville. All right. I thought I missed something.
0:06Chris Boswell. This is a huge... We talked about how Fairbairn's...
0:06Oh! What do you got? What happened? KC Concepcion.
0:06Can we talk about why Dave just took a kicker?
0:06You guys are sitting here silent right now. What's going on?
0:06I respect Dave as... I mean, I like this project, but I do whatever...
0:06Yeah, look at the stickers. They're super valuable. Points are tallied in this Mouth Breather League.
0:06And... Are they top 50? Look at him. He's just a point of total.
0:06Right? A top three kicker is more valuable now than...
0:06Oh! Any other player that's going to sit on your bench.
0:06Why does no one rank kickers in the top 200, though?
0:06I don't know. Because of your stupid fucking league.
0:06The kicker points in this league are normal. They're like every other fantasy who have extra points for over 45 or something like that.
0:06Every league does this. But look at last year's point totals for kickers.
0:06DK, that's a good pick. Okay, Metcalf. The arbitrage is not always the thing that you do.
0:06That is a good pick. That's the way it runs.
0:06And I would have taken Aubrey, but I hate having a double bye week on players.
0:06What? He took the kicker for the bye week?
0:06You know what? No one else sees Aubrey. Stud.
0:06And that's what he's doing. Now you should pick a punishment and then trade no punishment.
0:06Trade, trade. Just trade. I'm not going to take it.
0:06How are we going to trade punishments? I want to take Sebastian Janikowski.
0:06I just wanted to, but there was too much ranger.
0:06I know how to eat. Yeah. Sebastian Janikowski. I don't know anything about fantasy football.
0:06Then he takes the Arizona Cardinals second receiver. Come on.
0:06Or look at his numbers with Jacoby Brissette last season.
0:06I know because he was on my team. So you did prep.
0:06But you see, this is the thing. You keep like, I'm not qualified to be here.
0:06I'm not qualified. Michael Wilson. You've got to protect yourself from all angles.
0:06Do your research, but also evade all punishment. Right.
0:06And also for Mallory's team, I'm on the board.
0:06Mallory's building an interesting squad. It is a lot of like very polarizing players.
0:06It's I'm investing in the offense here. Michigan. Why are you fascinated by Coram?
0:06Because if anything happens to Kyron, Lake Coram is going to be top 10.
0:06I quite agree. Mel, how do you feel about your team?
0:06Because you said you're going to go receiver heavy, but you kind of just got your three receivers.
0:06Receiver heavy at the top. I feel great. I feel wonderful.
0:06Who's going to play running back with love is hurt week one and Coram's a backup running back?
0:06I'm going to play Coram because the Rams are going to score like 50 points.
0:06I'll be fine. Thanks, though. I hope we're going head to head.
0:06Can't wait. Yeah. I feel like I got a piece of you, bitch.
0:06She's like, how about you go fuck yourself? And furthermore.
0:06I think it's a nose. He's my favorite. We have best available, so we can throw up best available on the screen.
0:06Slumber Simmons is up. So we can sound it.
0:06Not to rush me. You haven't taken a tight end in a while.
0:06I don't know. I don't know. Does anyone want to do the problems during Bill's day?
0:06At what point does it matter about getting the best bench versus getting the best running sense?
0:06That is a great question. The biggest mistake in fantasy is like, you want back and running backs and receivers before filling out kickers.
0:06Generally. I appreciate it. So we generally, look, who knows?
0:06But generally speaking, you want depth. Of course. Oh, no.
0:06Are you? What's happening? What's going on? Yeah, he's a H.
0:06Oh. Seven of him. Nine of them. Well done.
0:06One of us. Well done. One of us. Let's go.
0:06Well done. We know matters. We know matters. It's always two just being like, exactly.
0:06The matter is. Hey, look at the scoring system for this Yadu League.
0:06It's every league. It's default. It's the same setting.
0:06It's incredibly important. What were you doing? Jason Myers won the league that Saladown were in the color.
0:06But Jason Myers wasn't drafted. The point is you don't know which kickers are going to be winning.
0:06I know. This is how Trent starts. Heifetz doesn't have one either.
0:06Ludacris. Heifetz doesn't have one. You sound like the people that were anti-moneyball.
0:06QB? Are you taking a quarterback? He doesn't look like he's going to take a small player.
0:06Wow. This is ridiculous. What? Can you guys, like, I feel like I'm the only person.
0:06Do you guys, are you not shocked that two kickers just went in the eighth round?
0:06I'm astonished. You can't reason with me. Somebody took the Rams back up running back in the pick before.
0:06I think Shane did that with kickers. I don't know if I'm conviction, but I think he accepted Bill.
0:06He did. What the fuck? It's like a double win for Shane.
0:06That'd do it. Team name coming. That's a great team name.
0:06It might be Monty. This is crazy. Go kicker.
0:06Come on, dig. That's kind of a vibe. There's only one good kicker left, Chris.
0:06There really is. If there's a run on kickers.
0:06Myers, do it. Are you nervous? All right. You know what's fun to have on your team?
0:06Can we put Chris Ryan's team on the board?
0:06I think I want to. Chris. Thanks. It's the year of CR.
0:06For being honest, Chris is probably going to win this league.
0:06So I kind of want to. He's got Devontae Smith.
0:06Drake London and Harrison at receiver. Decemire in to remind him.
0:06Stevenson at receiver. He'll have a quarterback. How do you want to take a pick?
0:06Chris, that's a good pick. And now you've got Jordan Addison at Minnesota.
0:06Who'd you pick, Chris? Jordan Addison. Yeah. Receiver. Got one more here.
0:06Come on, digs. You want it. No. It's so hard to know who to fucking draft.
0:06I think Stephon Diggs is a lot of value on the board right now.
0:06If we throw Chris's team up. I do too.
0:06Craig, what do you think of Chris's team? You're light on running back.
0:06Chris's team is fun. A lot of young guys.
0:06You know what I mean? Everyone on his team is 25 years old.
0:06Never doing that again. All outside. Yeah. Ever. If...
0:06What are the odds that Marvin Harrison Jr. actually plays well?
0:06Like becomes... I feel like it has to happen this year.
0:06It's going to happen. I don't know. Right? Right.
0:06Of course. Why not? He pounds of muscle, which is good.
0:06I love those stories. Every time he's... He just keeps getting slower.
0:06David Paulson, he's already... The smallest was your fucking face.
0:06Every time. He just keeps coming back and wider.
0:06When you're adding muscle, you're getting slower. And like, just every time.
0:06That separation was the knock on him. Yeah. Yeah.
0:06We're on mic. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
0:06That's fucking right. J.K. Dobbins. Chris finally lost me.
0:06We have an IR slot. So that's a good pick.
0:06I was with you every pick. Chris. Chris, how has the year of CR been?
0:06I agree with that. I mean, it's pretty good until this Dobbins pick.
0:06Or even... He's like, it's fucked. It's all over.
0:06We were on day 300 of CR month and now it's over.
0:06Oh, sad. Quarterback Deshaun? I don't... You know, not very well known.
0:06Got a couple MVP votes. Spinal Fusion be damned.
0:06And... That's down. Wow. That is down. Come on.
0:06I don't think I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like a good pick to me.
0:061,000 yards and 40 touchdowns. Okay. That's a great pick.
0:06That's terrible. He's a terrible board. You like polka in the top five.
0:06So are you going to get another kicker here?
0:06You can't put a kicker in your flex spot.
0:06Just add to that. Well, we would change the rules and let you if you really want.
0:06Just watch what happens. That would be a cut.
0:06Just watch. Being able to flex the kicker. If next year on your preseason fantasy prediction, you start to spout how amazing
0:06kickers are, you guys have to footnote this. Yeah, we will.
0:06We'll give credit. I'm going to take the actual starting running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Rico Datto.
0:06Sure. Yeah. Didn't get hit with the Rico. I thought it was...
0:06This stage is left. He's so perplexed that we took kickers.
0:06Welcome aboard. He's called him. I'm looking broke. Welcome aboard.
0:06He didn't know what to do. He's going crazy.
0:06Is that the craziest thing you can say? Oh, we got...
0:06Okay. I like having the best. Bill, the best tight end of the best kicker.
0:06Yeah, Bill. So your team right now. So you have Ash and Jensen, David, the receiver.
0:06Rico Datto running. There's six positions in fantasy football.
0:07I have the best guy at three of them.
0:07What are the three? Which three? Also, why did you take two tight ends?
0:07You got the best kicker. Maybe just one. The best tight end.
0:07You have the best 2D tight end. Mal takes your other.
0:07Bill, we got your team up on the screen on Netflix.
0:07He has the... Just another great pick. The hat, right?
0:07As long as he's not going to close. So why did you take one?
0:07I'm into that one. Thank you. Because I thought there was only...
0:07Hey, I'll just observe that Danny Kelly one of the finest minds in the industry.
0:07He's like, all my tight ends. You want to bust rate it?
0:07Crap, maybe. Just going to throw that out. I think he likes every pick.
0:07The flex for one of those is going to be.
0:07I didn't like that J.K. Dobbins. Craggy Mark to Andrews.
0:07Oh, it's my turn. All right, Sean, you take Mark to Andrews.
0:07Mal, how do you feel that Sean took you Mark to Andrews?
0:07And tight ends always get hurt. So I have a backup to my tight end, which I had last year.
0:07But I hope it ends up being a good pick.
0:07With Crap, I think somebody... I forget who it is.
0:07I don't love it. I like having depth at tight end.
0:07Yeah. Because then you don't have to, like, add them on waivers.
0:07It sucks. I need to add seven points a week for my tight end.
0:07It just bums me out. It does suck. Still available.
0:07Bill, I took one of your beloved pats. Care to comment?
0:07I saw it. Strong pick. DK said he liked it.
0:07I saw it. I saw it. I mean, we had 740 yards last year.
0:07Guys, I don't want to get everyone excited, but if House ever puts a sticker up there, we are halfway done.
0:07We're officially halfway done. We're seriously only halfway. That's horrible.
0:07We're going to speed up. Things will go faster.
0:07Myers. Accelerate. Good job. Good job. Not afraid. We're humming right now.
0:07Hey, you can't be afraid. Wait, who just what?
0:07Obi Myers. Hey, you can't be so afraid, bro.
0:07It's your house. So I think you need to do what you need to do.
0:07I feel like the people watching this live stream have no idea who's being drafted.
0:07Because we're all standing in front of the board.
0:07They see it on the street. That's PM, right?
0:07I was about to say, guys. What the fuck are you doing?
0:07I'm taking digs. Tails takes Stefan digs. Happy hour starts.
0:07I like it. Yeah. Freaky ass. Yeah. Expand on that.
0:07He's got to play well to stay out and free and everything.
0:07Stay on his own. Yeah, exactly. I want Van to expand on it.
0:07I don't know why I am. I don't care where Tate's rationale is.
0:07Hey, man. Good for him. Never makes you train.
0:07Guy likes to fuck. Here, while Shane picks, we're going to put Van's team up.
0:07And Van, I'm curious how you're feeling about your squad.
0:07Where is it at? It's here? It's going to come up, yeah.
0:07It's not on that TV, but it's on Netflix TV.
0:07I'm feeling good about my squad. Feeling great. LSU two days.
0:07I'm feeling great. He's like so much. Yeah. About the value of Ryan Thomas Jr.
0:07in a bounce back season. Just watch. At this point.
0:07Okay. Watch. Yeah, Dave. You doing Charbonnet? Yeah. Oh.
0:07I mean. Is it because his ACL reminds you of like a slow-roasted lunch?
0:07Oh, a nice Charbonnet? Yeah. To go with your...
0:07With the lamb and rice? The cumin lamb and the...
0:07Yes. That was Chang's most questionable move since stealing the PA's lunch.
0:07Oh, wait. You could just write the shit on there?
0:07Uh-oh. Oh, he's taking his punishment. This is a punishment.
0:07Oh, vanilla. Vanilla ice eyebrows. Oh, the eyebrows. Damn it.
0:07Damn it. You guys make fun of me for taking a kicker?
0:07You guys are wusses. This is crazy. That's fine.
0:07I would rather take a kicker than a punishment.
0:07I have to take it. I just kind of help.
0:07It happens. What's up? So, Danny Kelly is up.
0:07So, Van, looking at your team, you're so confident about taking your team that you wanted to go punishment there.
0:07Yeah, I mean, everybody else, this is the scraps of the league now.
0:07It's kind of a mess now. Yeah. Oh, suddenly Brandon Arby's looks a little bit better.
0:07Yeah. But, yeah, that worked out. Who's your pick you're most worried about on this list?
0:07You mean from a criminal standpoint? From a criminal standpoint?
0:07What are you talking about? I don't have a great situation at tight end.
0:07I'm pretty solid. I feel like everywhere else, I don't have a great situation at tight end.
0:07Why? Because of Deshaun Watson in the outdoors? Quarterback situation.
0:07Yeah. Quarterback situation there. I would like to have a more productive one.
0:07Dalton Kincaid for the Bills. Why not? Do that.
0:07Hopefully he plays more. I might take Brandon Arbery again.
0:07Can I take anybody twice? Just double down. I'm going to take two kickers.
0:07You are. Then you could stagger him each week.
0:07That's right. That's right. I might do that, too.
0:07It's competition. I could do that right now. Myers is still available.
0:07Which one? I'm taking Jordan Mason on the Vikings.
0:07There we go. How many weeks do you think?
0:07I just took him. But where is he on here?
0:07When I'm done with them zero. Keep going down.
0:07Craig, how good do you feel about Jordan Mason?
0:07Everyone has a QB except Ty Fitz. He's probably not going to play until, what, week six or seven?
0:07I'm going to take a guy that I don't even know if I like this season, but I think he's more juice than I thought.
0:07And I can't believe he's still around, which is Tony Pollard for the Titans.
0:07And he's fine, but this is outside the top 100 picks now.
0:07And so I just think that's an incredible kind of shot.
0:07I thought he was off the board. A little insecure.
0:07I thought he was hurt. Who's going to win week one Titans, Jess?
0:07That's what everybody's thinking. What a dark sentence. Collins is basically the last starting running back to guys.
0:07I'm trying to think about it. I already bet it.
0:07And the reason he lasts this long is because it seems like the Titans suck.
0:07But I already bet it. And they're never going to run the ball.
0:07I bet on the underdog. On the money line and on the line.
0:07I have higher. I bet the point spread. And the money line in that game.
0:07Already. Passing on a quarterback again. I just, I'm not worried about it.
0:07I wish I could spell better. You guys just all know where these letters are.
0:07The order. It's always so tough. I'm taking George Kittle in Niners.
0:07And I just kind of just want a ton of upside with this pick.
0:07Okay. Okay. George Kittle. Didn't get two Achilles. I think the substance of the reaction.
0:07That sounds great. Absolute silence. Incredible response. You know what?
0:07I would say it was a little awkward. Oh, yeah.
0:07Yeah. That sounds great. Is he playing in week one?
0:07I think he's not going to go to Australia.
0:07But I think he'll play in week two. And I think he's going to be like fine.
0:07Because he can't go to Australia because of his surgically repaired Achilles on a long flight.
0:07You know what? It's just the pressurization. You know?
0:0714 hours. No compression sock is strong enough. R&R.
0:07Yeah, no. Compression sock is just fast. So Heifetz is really sticking to this.
0:07I'm going to get a quarterback late strategy. I mean, everybody could fuck him by taking another quarterback.
0:07I'm in. We all want to go quarterback. Let's do it.
0:07Actually, wait. I'll do it. I have no punishment.
0:07Danny, are you all right with that? We're going to leave this league.
0:07We should legitimately take 11 quarterbacks in a row right now.
0:07I'm winning. It would be amusing. Okay. I'm going.
0:07I'm going to be using Coward's out. I think that's hilarious.
0:07Greg immediately Coward's out. Did they like this? You get on the way back, though.
0:07Give me the game. I'm going to start here.
0:07Just remember, Greg will always look out for himself.
0:07Hold on. I'll figure out which one I'm going to do.
0:07I'll get him on the way back. That would be cool when you guys do that.
0:07Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's unbelievable. I can't believe Trubisky has a sticker.
0:07That's awesome. Hold on. Hold on. What was your favorite Trubisky?
0:07That's amazing. Someone should make that a laptop sticker.
0:07I need that Trubisky sticker. What's that? I don't know.
0:07I see. No. Good old biscuit Trubisky. I'm going with the all-variants quarterback room.
0:07Oh, cool. Good for you. Wow. You hate Kyler.
0:07Let's go. You hate Kyler. I hate Kyler. That's a good pick.
0:07You could have made it, Heifetz. We would have to do that.
0:07It's mean. It's steady. It's steady. I'll already kill him, though.
0:07Mahomes. Malik Willis. Mayfield. Goff. Here we go. QB run.
0:07All right, we got number two in a row here.
0:07QB run. Let's do this. I'm just going to get fucked.
0:07I'm just going to get fucked. Bye-bye. Good. That's this guy.
0:07That's this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
0:07Keep it going. What? What? Is there any other content you guys have ever been next to each other in the world?
0:07Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck your place. Baker. Wow. Oh, my God.
0:07I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to ruin it.
0:07Come on. You can do it on the way back.
0:07Oh, it's all right. I know. Come on. It's all right.
0:07We got a few good ones. I'm left. Grant Boltonix.
0:07Who's left? I was like, when the wave dies down in the stadium.
0:07I'm glad you do that. What's his bye week?
0:0710? Don't worry. I'll figure that out later. Grant Boltonix.
0:07He's right there. That's a productive point. Bernie's still there.
0:07Right here. I know. Jordan Love is still available.
0:07Yeah. He's pretty good. I don't want to rip it around the ring.
0:07Does he throw the ball to, uh, I just want to see one guy.
0:07Okay. That guy's still there. So that's fine. Okay.
0:07I'll do it. Yes. Jordan Love. Not against that.
0:07I'm delighted right now. This is incredible. I'm going to go two kickers when he comes back around.
0:07Love? Wow. So this is a no quarterback lead.
0:07Keep it rolling. Who did House take? Jordan Love.
0:07Jordan Love. You got a first shot. It's a pretty ambush.
0:07It's a pretty ambush. You've been so good. You're doing so good.
0:07You're doing so good. Karma. Danny. Bernie. Oh, this is great.
0:07Oh, this is great. Oh, Bo Nix is still out.
0:07I'm going to take it. Take it. Bo Nix.
0:07Yeah. My husband's a Broncos fan. We'll have something to share together as we march toward divorce.
0:07You know, in our 13th year of marriage. Let's just leave Tua.
0:07We'll leave Tua available. God. You say you can't remember your husband's son.
0:07I don't know it. That's it. It's not that I can't remember.
0:07That's what I can't remember. I don't know. I don't know.
0:07I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:07I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:07Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's doing it. Exactly.
0:07I need someone to take Stroud. Yeah, Stroud's got to go next.
0:07I'm not taking seven weeks of dark. Goff or Mahomes?
0:07Mahomes wins. Take Stroud. The only time you'll ever see.
0:07We can't let Goff and Stroud reject this. Someone has to.
0:07Take Stroud. Hold on. Hold on. Is Dark gone yet?
0:07No, someone has to take him. Hey, do we have a?
0:07Do we have a? Then I'll take him and then I'll need a quarterback.
0:07This is just a test. I'm not taking a QB.
0:07Criars of Permitente Jackson. There's somebody left. I'm happy with anybody left.
0:07CJ Stroud. Bill. Bill. Bill. Come on. Bill. Bill.
0:07Come on. Bill. Don't fucking ruin it. Come on.
0:07At least get love off the. Oh, this is an incredible run.
0:07What about Goff? This is. I don't know if this is everybody's gone except Bill.
0:07Take Dark. Take Goff. Take Goff. Take Goff. I thought the kickers was amazing.
0:07Goff. You got to take Goff. Goff. I'm going to take Goff.
0:07Goff. You got to take Goff. You got to take Goff.
0:07You got to take Goff. The kicker thing was great.
0:07I love that. You got to take Goff. This is amazing.
0:07I think Goff should take kickers. That was really smart.
0:07Yeah. Fuck. East and stick. This is great. Look at Mel.
0:07This is winning the lead. It was my idea, so I feel pretty good.
0:07Oh, he's out. That's the shit that I've been talking about, bro.
0:07Take some things. Roots all done the whole thing.
0:07It was time for him. He does his own fucking thing.
0:07Well, all the good QBs are good. You should be a champion of yourself.
0:07I'm not taking Jackson, Dirk. Thank you, Sal. My husband's a big Lions fan.
0:07We're all set. Oh, man. So are we some morals?
0:07Chris needs a quarterback. Yeah, you do, Chris. You need a backup.
0:07I'll find Dart for you. Yeah. Come on. I feel like Dart.
0:07I think Dart is a good pick here. Yeah.
0:07Come on. We need more people to take quarterback.
0:07Dart. Dart. Take Dart, bro. Straight to January 6th.
0:07Dart, Chuck. Take it. I don't. I don't. You're second.
0:07Darnold over Dart. I like it. Darnold's a great pick.
0:07Thank God. All right. Yeah. Is it Red or Dart to land with Mike?
0:07Easy. You gotta go kick it out. Stroud, see you.
0:07Stroud. Keep it going. I may take out of the way back.
0:07Darnold. Yeah, take Stroud here. It's bad as good.
0:07Mayfife it's a play Cam Ward. Darnold's a great pick.
0:07Cam Ward. I just. Thank you. Dicker? Yeah. Yeah, see?
0:07He knows. He knows. What's up with the kicker?
0:07Dicker the kicker. He knows. It's a great pick.
0:07Oh, Dicker's a good pick. Oh, I love Dicker.
0:07That's a great pick. It's an absolutely fantastic pick.
0:07That's an incredible pick. It loves Dicker. Love Dicker.
0:07Oh, man. That was a fun try. Wow, man.
0:07It's just great stuff. I'm having too much fun here.
0:07Absolutely wonderful. Sal, yeah. Were you thinking backup kicker, or what are you thinking?
0:07You just worry about your own bad shit. No, you're right.
0:07Oh, man. All right. That was fun. I enjoyed that.
0:07It's going to have easily been avoided if we did a Q quarterback league.
0:07They would have all been in the first three rounds.
0:07Sliding doors. Yeah. Thank you for asking, man. Fuck you.
0:07That's a good pick. Thank you for not letting him be there and tempting me.
0:07I should have. I thought he was actually already gone.
0:07I might have broken down and taken. This is good.
0:07That's a good plan. I was sure he was going to make it back to me.
0:07I thought he was gone already. That's a good plan.
0:07I said thank you. We can't do it, Dave.
0:07The other person whose brain melted when this happened is not just me.
0:07Bill also just kind of, I think, got rocked by that.
0:07The guys who's brain melted Jackson Dart, Bill. Dart?
0:07Dart's still on the board, right? Dart. Before. He got his defense.
0:07He might get Stroud, though. Stroud's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:07Chris. Heifetz is just... So, Craig, wait right now.
0:07Someone to Stroud. Shuck. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's a starter duel.
0:07That's going to be a disaster. You've got to leave him with the absolute dregs in the quarterback position.
0:07Someone's got to take Stroud, otherwise this is all for naught.
0:07House can take a quarterback here. Oh, I took two already.
0:07Did you? Yeah, I have Dak and Lov. Oh, and Dak and Lov.
0:07I think Heifetz would rather have Shuck than Stroud, though.
0:07Yes. I kind of want to take Stroud. But wait, if Shuck and Stroud get taken, what does he do at that point?
0:07Well, I can take a quarterback, but somebody else has to take a third.
0:07Tua is the only one that's lost. This episode is brought to you by the Active Cash Credit Card from Wells Fargo.
0:07That's a mouthful, but that's because it packs a lot in.
0:07Earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases with it, big or small.
0:07So whether it's buying tickets to the game and grabbing a coffee, it earns unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases.
0:07Say it with me. The Active Cash Credit Card from Wells Fargo.
0:07Be a 2%er. Learn more at wellsfargo.com forward slash Active Cash.
0:07Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by NOS Energy.
0:07Every ounce of dirt, sweat, and gears, every checkered flag and trophy raised, every lap, every race, every hard-bought place.
0:07They're all jammed inside every can of NOS Energy.
0:07High-performance energy for burning the midnight oil in the garage and pedal-to-the-metal human horsepower for the streets.
0:07Go ahead. Crack open a can of NOS Energy and get after it.
0:07Literally. Oh, my gosh. We have to go to Tua.
0:07Tua would be incredible. Holy shit. This is the best.
0:07It's very good. Is it collusioned when the whole league colludes against one person?
0:07No, it's camaraderie. No. It's camaraderie. That's literally the definition.
0:07It's all Congress. It's called the NFL. This is kind of funny.
0:07We created a during-draft. It's literally the- This is a lot of punishment.
0:07This is it. Well, we had somebody in the league who's like, I'm smarter than everybody else.
0:07I'm going to get a good quarterback late. And we were like, fuck that.
0:07Fuck that. We're going to take a quarter. Fuck you.
0:07You'll get nothing. 10 out of 13 picks. What are the quarterbacks?
0:07That's fucking hysterical. You can get Stroud. You can have Tyler Shaw.
0:08Tyler Shaw. All of Daniel Jones. Bryce Young. Jacoby Brissett.
0:08The real question here, guys, is none of us really need quarterbacks, but this is bargaining for players that we like on Danny's team.
0:08Exactly. That's right. That's right. It's almost possible to take enough quarterbacks that he can't start one.
0:08Is it? Yeah. Oh, my God, bro. I'm fucking with this.
0:08Like it is. I'm fucking Jesus Christ. He might have to start going after that crap came in more.
0:08What? He's going to fight you. Danny, plug your ears while we try.
0:08He's so happy right now. Oh, I'm sorry. It's like this thing is he's the host of our fantasy football.
0:08And he's going to have Drew Aller in week one, hoping he comes in.
0:08So what are these punishments? What's this list? So there have been 21 quarterbacks taken.
0:08Yeah. Just kind of hurry up. Yeah. Maybe taste some middle one retired.
0:08So we can leave him with like, you know.
0:08Mal's up. Oh, we got Mallory's team up. Let's see.
0:08Mal, it looks like you don't need any quarterbacks.
0:08Just going for a thousand things. Oh, I love Denzel.
0:08Great pick. Good pick. Now, that's why you won.
0:08Denzel. Okay. That's why you won. That's why you won.
0:08We have the first pick. We have it. True story.
0:08Mal, we have your team up on Netflix. What was your favorite pick, Mal, of those picks?
0:08I've loved them all. You know, I don't really have any notes, honestly.
0:08I think that the Bowers pick was particularly sweet because I know it pissed all of you off.
0:08So I liked that. That was good. You know, feeling great.
0:08Feeling great. The second worst thing you did to me in this draft.
0:08I do feel a little bad, Danny. No, you don't.
0:08No, you don't. Don't play that card. Come on.
0:08You love it. I saw your face. Oh, God.
0:08She's downright giddy. Your back is magically feeling fine.
0:08I feel high. I feel like I just snorted a mountain of cocaine.
0:08Who the fuck is this manga? Oh, interesting pick, Sean.
0:08Could get... I don't know. A nun guy. Chang picked up the quarterbacks.
0:08Interesting. I'm just trying to go over exactly who's left.
0:08He's too good. I know. I'm worried that whoever we leave him with will be good.
0:08He'll be good. And he'll just... It's gotta be Tua.
0:08This is like Survivor. Or Cam Ward since he's been shitting on him all.
0:08This is Cam Ward. I feel like Tua came.
0:08How else are you taking? Alex Pierce. Alex Pierce.
0:08This is the most Chang-like strategy we could have ever come up with.
0:08I don't know who would enjoy this sport, Chang or Sal.
0:08It really works perfectly. Have you ever seen a draft where this happened?
0:08Not in a concerted effort. Like accidentally, maybe? But this is great.
0:08It can only happen if the guy... You might have to start Trey Lance.
0:08Oh my God. That was Kelsey. Oh. R.I.P. Wow.
0:08I feel like he's gotta be better than Kyle Pitts.
0:08Best of those last words. Did you say he's better than Kyle Pitts?
0:08He's gotta be better than Kyle Pitts. We were drafted five rounds earlier.
0:08He's got a little bit more. Yeah. Chang's like, what can Brad do for me?
0:08A little interest ball saying. A little brown sticker.
0:08Yeah. We're orange. What is that called? Chang wavering for the first time.
0:08Straub, buddy. Come on. Through out or shorts? How about shorts?
0:08Shucks. Shucks. What? Over Straub? We're gonna let Tidia have Dart.
0:08Could have had a backup kicker. No, Bill took Dart.
0:08Someone should take Dart. Bill took Dart. Oh yeah, Bill took Dart.
0:08I missed that while I was celebrating my pick.
0:08So Dave, you take Tyler. I like Shuck too.
0:08So basically the first 22 QBs are off the board now.
0:08Daniel Jones, Stroud, Young, Brissette. Yeah, man! Out of you!
0:08Who's my backup going to be? Oh yeah, you didn't take that.
0:08Wow. Two quarterbacks. Put it to a vote. I'm down to change it now.
0:08Yeah, we did it! All right, who's left? We got Daniel Jones is left.
0:08I don't even care about my team anymore. Who's, uh, who are we trying to stick with?
0:08Van, we're looking at your team on the screen here.
0:08You got three quarterbacks. How did you feel about that?
0:08You know, how did you feel about that versus an Elias eye-row slits?
0:08I don't know. Quarterbacks? I don't know about the quarterback picks.
0:08To me, you look at this as three quarterbacks.
0:08I look at this as two black quarterbacks. All LSU Daniels.
0:08That's true. Uh-oh. All right, I'm taking Brissette. Yeah!
0:08Oh! Oh my God! Wow. He's okay! Craig, this is a big moment.
0:08Who are you taking? Did you guys cover this scenario?
0:08God bless you. God bless everyone. Yeah! At this point, he doesn't want to be a chicken.
0:08He's not even taking it for a chicken. Now he's got to be Brice Young.
0:08Danny, walk us through the upside for Brice Young to, uh, Aaron Rodgers.
0:08Aaron Rodgers! Aaron Rodgers! Aaron Rodgers! Aaron Rodgers! Aaron Rodgers!
0:08Aaron Rodgers! Wow! Absolutely not. I love this. I will draft camp war, bro.
0:08I'm dead serious. I will take you. You better draft a quarterback.
0:08I'm not in a good shape and terrorist. Other than Sean.
0:08We do not. Absolutely not. Holy shit. Other than Sean.
0:08I don't even want a quarterback. You're signing your own death.
0:08Clearly. No. You know what? No. Where are the receivers?
0:08Where's that receiver? Are you fucking serious right now?
0:08Arrogance. Take Stephon Diggs. The Seagrass! Are we going to have the winners again?
0:08We're going to have the Seagrass. Let's float my team here.
0:08Let's see. I don't know. There's zero quarterback. Jonathan Taylor.
0:08We got Hampton at running back with, uh, Tony Pollard and Jonathan Brooks.
0:08Bastions of health, really. Pillars. Well, I think Danny, this is a calamity.
0:08There's a list of punishments. How did this happen to you?
0:08Can we trade right now? How did this happen to me?
0:08I will trade you a Larry Hampton for, uh, Willis, right now.
0:08No. Don't do that. I'll do that. This is a great trade.
0:08This is the only kind of wrong situation. Honestly, it might have existed.
0:08I say no trades during the draft. No trades during the draft.
0:08Hey, I'm Sage and I love it. I think you might want to, you know, make this trade happen.
0:08I mean, honestly, the Jayden Reed pick was a fuck you to the entire league and was received accordingly.
0:08Right. I agree. Yeah, I think I'll be fine.
0:08Clip that for when I come in last. I would take your punishment now.
0:08I would draft your punishment. Yeah, that's why I would be very smart.
0:08Very smart. Yeah. Or else you're eating Terry Brashaw's blood, bitch.
0:08Also, no dropping like Matthew Stafford in week three this time around.
0:08Yeah, we gotta stick together on this. Otherwise, this means nothing.
0:08He was hurt. And five quarterbacks. One MVP. You look terrible.
0:08I get it. MVP of the NFL. That's true.
0:08Your champion's going to outskool. My strategy worked last year.
0:08I cowered. I cowered in that way. I have a feeling if he doesn't take a quarterback now, there are literally no starting players.
0:08Where is Tick Tock? Is this your favorite? Tick Tock bumble.
0:08Oh, shit. Oh, my miss. Yeah, you still don't have a quarterback.
0:08Yes. You can keep running. Any day now. All right.
0:08Fuck. Oh, no, no. Not that. The guy who's gone.
0:08Tua. This is lame. So, I respect what everyone's in.
0:08Tua. Come on. Tua. Panic. I would literally rather die in an empty spot than roster Tua.
0:08You gotta get Tua. I think the reality is, while that was really a good bit, I'm going to take Bryce Young
0:08and he'll be just as good, if not better, than like eight of the guys that went ahead of him.
0:08And that was a very silly strategy by all of you.
0:08All a good bit. Very silly strategy. No one else.
0:08He'll be in the CFL. Dude, the SFL numbers.
0:08He's about to put up. When he's going for the Arbanon.
0:08He's going to be the Alouettes. It's going to be absolutely feeding families.
0:08Look how not nervous he is. He's going back and forth.
0:08He's like, all right. Look at these punishments real quick.
0:08Your hands are shaking. I mean, the good news is we're not live on a huge streaming platform.
0:08Is Brian Young allowed to ride Space Mountain yet?
0:08Is he taller than Mina? Not yet. No. No.
0:08We're still waiting for that. I'll take... No, I'm not taking a fucking...
0:08Should I dress as the hungry caterpillar at next year's draft?
0:08Yeah. You're going to have to host. Oh, that's a good point.
0:08You're going to host as a caterpillar. No, I'm not worried.
0:08Sorry. I'm taking forever here. I just lost track of it.
0:08Come on. I'm around. I'm missing. I'm missing. I'm missing.
0:08I'm missing. I'm missing. I've never seen something work so well.
0:08I'm missing. Any fucking day now. Give me a...
0:08Bryce. This is a disaster. Just pick a player.
0:08What position do you want? This is fine, bro.
0:08I'll take... I'll take... I'll take... Ten. Nine. This is like...
0:08Aaron Foxx in the finals. Oh, that guy fucked me last year.
0:08I'll take Matthew Golden. And it was Hyphens' fault.
0:08Yeah, it probably wasn't my fault. It is. I dropped him way too high last year.
0:08Me too. It was a miserable experience. That sucked.
0:08You gotta get another running man. That was horrible.
0:08Danny, you're a champ. You're a trooper. He really is.
0:08That was awesome. He did good. So... You're a good sport, buddy.
0:08Took it. Enjoy last place. I will say... I felt really smug about the whole thing until Craig took Daniel Jones.
0:08And then I was like, fuck. Because I thought no one's going to take him.
0:08And I was like, he's going to be like a top 10 quarterback for three weeks.
0:08That's your partner. He knows you better than anybody.
0:08That's true. He broke my heart. He really broke my back there.
0:08That was tough. I'm really sorry about that. Yeah, fuck.
0:08Oh my God. I think this could get worse.
0:08I think you were in the Batman way, but I didn't think it could get worse.
0:08Still right there. Stephon, man. Rock treatment. Put it through.
0:08Oh my God. You really blew my back out.
0:08You blew this. Get out of my back out.
0:08Unbelievable. You're walking funny for weeks. Dave, how many fucks do I have to say to get this off the air?
0:08What are you saying? I think we've blown past that.
0:08Yeah, we've blown past that. All right. DK, yeah.
0:08You're on the clock here. Yeah. What is... I kind of want to look at DK's team.
0:08Anybody but me. I'm going Keaton Mitchell. All right.
0:08DK, you got... That's a good pick. I'm going to be deciding between Daniel Jones and Drake Mayer.
0:08I have so many good quarterbacks. Yes? Jawan Johnson.
0:08Oh, damn it. Oh, nice. Okay. You guys got that?
0:08Yeah, Jawan Johnson. Jawan Johnson. Okay. Solid pick. Solid pick.
0:08Later. Okay. You going to take another quarterback? Yeah, Chang is on it.
0:08Okay, huh? Go on defense. What defense? You could have got another kicker.
0:08Texans went, right? Texans went. Just stacking receivers. Going for another one?
0:08Yeah, I'm stacking. I've got to make some trades.
0:08Bill, why did you take Texans and not the Seahawks defense?
0:08I love the Texans. There's your answer. I knew it.
0:08I knew it. Seahawks have a harder schedule. I thought about it.
0:08I thought it was 1A, 1B. I wanted one of them.
0:08Ooh, let's stick high because we're a shitty defense.
0:08Yeah! Let's go! Let's go! That's fine. We can easily do that.
0:0814 in a row. Say less. Stacking receivers. Frank 3D is going to say, I'd rather...
0:08Don't take the same way, but I'm to Frank's least favorite.
0:08I saw that clip where you guys were saying.
0:08I just can't deal with him. 12th round, though.
0:08Come on. He got hurt every day of the week.
0:08He's not good, but it's okay. He's on the trade block if anyone wants him.
0:08All right. Let's throw House's team up. DK, what do you think of House's team?
0:08Let's see. Let's see. He's got Amon Ross Sutton, Metcalf, Myers, Pierce.
0:08I'm doing old guard. And Aaron Jones. Wow. Hey.
0:08It's good to score you. It's all points all year.
0:08You have a lot of players that probably have big font on their iPhone.
0:08It fits. I'm over here in Boomer Corner, bitch.
0:08House, we have your team up. Which one of these are your most proud?
0:08I love Dak Prescott where I got him. I like his first six picks.
0:08Last, not as much. Right before Bowers. I was surprised by that.
0:08Yeah. He did set the record for catching. He catches a lot of shit.
0:08I'm taking the Rams. Good pick. I think we could really screw people on defense.
0:08Just saying. I mean, you guys won't do it.
0:08Who's off at Seahawks? Miles Garrett, come on. Miles?
0:08It's going to go crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did what's his name decide to come back?
0:08I missed it. Who? Not yet Donald, but he will.
0:08He will. Yeah. Why does he want to play minicamp?
0:08I like how certain they are on that. Yeah.
0:08He's like, I'll come back week four. That's nuts.
0:08What if he's washed, though? It's 35. How's that?
0:08We'll see. I'm giving him one suck. Are you blindsided?
0:08I'm not going to fight him over it. Don't.
0:08It's possible that he might. Hey, Donald, you suck.
0:08Even if he's like 75%, 80% of what regular Aaron Donald is.
0:08I mean, they're pretty good otherwise. They have Miles Garrett, so they're good.
0:08It's fine. Now, the best available is on the board.
0:08We have Chris Godwin. We have Rashad White. Kenny Gainwell.
0:08I have my own research right here. Okay. Cool.
0:08Hey, Al. He's like strategy draft. Talk to the champ.
0:08Okay, Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers-esque. Plead the fifth. You're immunized.
0:08Aiden might call HR. This is tough. She's not a doctor, but she can read.
0:08Rodgers said that, by the way. Was that your back?
0:08You're taking the defense. Broncos. Defense. Wow. Okay. Going Denver Broncos, too.
0:08That's a good pick. Boom. Boom. I'm into this.
0:08I'm taking it. He just wants fucking chaos. There can only be one Derry.
0:08That's true. I'm going down. Billy getting in on the defense.
0:08Do you need a backup defense? What are you doing?
0:08Bill takes two defenses. Uh-oh. I'm not going to take one, because I have the best one already.
0:08That's right. You do. From two rounds ago. We have Bill's team up on the board.
0:08So, he's got Jamar Chase, Ashton Jente, Nico Collins, Colson Loveland, David Montgomery, Sam Laporta, Trevor Lawrence, and then he went rogue
0:08with Brandon Aubrey as the kicker in Texas defense.
0:08And I think Bill is thrilled about having him on the best kicker and the best defense.
0:08I only got two wide receivers. Wait. I just realized it's because he said he had three of the best positions, and
0:08then he went and went and had to get Aubrey.
0:08He used to it. Yeah, Bill, by the way, we start three receivers.
0:08We start three. I'm aware. Oh, yeah, that's true.
0:08Bill has two receivers. He took a kicker and a defense.
0:08I got a lot of receivers. I got a lot of receivers.
0:08Back at a strategy this year. Back at a strategy is two receivers.
0:08Is this to not fill out a starting lineup?
0:08Bill, Stephon Diggs for Brandon Aubrey. Good deal. I want to make sure he wasn't.
0:08Brandon Ayuk is available. No. I got it. You think, is Danny too stubborn to trade one of his best players for a quarterback?
0:08He'd rather tank the whole season? He'll just go down swinging.
0:08He's in like 14 leagues. I actually find Heifetz to be very rational in trade discussions.
0:08Genuinely. But you have to wait pretty far into the season.
0:08Yeah. We made a trade last year. We did.
0:08Yeah, we did. Every player I traded you immediately got hurt, and then I won the league.
0:08Thank you. I, yeah, no. You probably, you know what?
0:08But I didn't really benefit from the player you traded me.
0:08No, our trade kind of sucked. It was one of those like lose-lose, but everyone was irrelevant.
0:08Would you like to tell anyone what it was?
0:08It was like Roma Dunze. I sent you a Dunze Laporta, and you sent me Henderson.
0:08Betrayed with Henderson and Sam LaPorta never played together.
0:08Oh, God. I was in the trade. You motherfucker.
0:08Are you kidding me? Oh, wow. Are you kidding me?
0:08Yeah. That's what you get for doing a quarterback game.
0:08You missed out on Makai Lemon. Bill? Really strong.
0:08Pick Bill. Wow. Call of a pick Bill. Chris is actually pissed.
0:08I got to say, don't praise me too much, because I was going to take Jacoby Myers, who went four rounds ago.
0:08I'm not praising you at all. This is great.
0:08That was why I took two minutes. I thought DK Metcalf was still on the board, which is why it took forever.
0:08I just couldn't take Khalil Shakir. It just makes me sad.
0:08What's the temperature in here? It's so hot. A little toasty?
0:08Is that adjustable? He's right there. Right there. Right down.
0:08Who is it? Godwin is no longer the best player of Bell.
0:08Yeah. Get that off. Damn, I was going to go off.
0:08I want that. Sure. I need it. Don't hate it.
0:08It's 68 degrees in here. I couldn't do it.
0:08CR Corner. I have a different guy in mine.
0:08Hey, Chris, how you doing over there? I don't know what I got.
0:08Alex? Well, I'm disappointed, because I think that Akai's going to be incredible.
0:08I just couldn't do it. I couldn't get excited for it.
0:09They're like doing wheel routes with him and shit.
0:09Ooh. That was tough. I like to recover. I love the clipboard walk up.
0:09Yeah. This is like an offensive coordinator. It was like draft day.
0:09You look like Mike McDaniel right now. I do look like Mike McDaniel.
0:09CR, you were going to take Lemon? Vontae Mack, no matter what.
0:09I was. I was surprised he was still on the board.
0:09I didn't really fully understand that. Maybe it's because of the nine quarter.
0:09I just had a fight in a row. See, that is something that's not.
0:09Not only is he the number two receiver in the Eagles, but the number three is Wicks.
0:09Yes. And I don't even think you have a number four, do you?
0:09Who's your number four? Just relax. Yeah. Wicks was in a tragic accident where his hands don't work.
0:09And it's just. Yeah. I never thought Wicks was good.
0:09All right. You got to write hot water and lemon, right?
0:09All over you. That's it. Hot water and Makai.
0:09Yeah. Make it feel better a little bit here with the Eagles.
0:09That's the defense. Big Fangio. I wish I could take the Texans again.
0:09Birds D. And then. Dodgers. They're losing streak. I guess I'll take Shakir.
0:09Going Khalil Shakir. Love that guy. Tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough.
0:09Couldn't do it. Tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough.
0:09So here, we can throw Sal's team up there.
0:09Sal, which of these players on your team so far do you think you're going to hate the most?
0:09A month into the season. I think it's. It's not there yet.
0:09It's not there yet. I don't have any of those guys.
0:09It's something. I'm going to hate Woody. Look at the board.
0:09Look at the board. Look at the board. It's probably Carnell Tate.
0:09Nobody likes him. It's okay. No. You hate Tate?
0:09That's me and I hate Tate. Come on. Craig, what do you think of Sal's team?
0:09Oh, what the? Bill, what are you doing? Sal's up.
0:09Yeah. I mean, he just gets to. He's just perusing.
0:09Boomer Corner is really having a moment over there.
0:09Boy. All right. What are you getting? A lot of strong conversation and analysis and dialogue right now in the group.
0:09You know? I mean, how many podcast hosts can you put into a room and have?
0:09I think I'm just a show. Yeah, honestly, I feel like Danny has a...
0:09No, you have to take over, Craig. He's fallen his spark.
0:09Danny lost a lust for letting us hear that whole thing.
0:09It's a thousand yards. You know the time in the movie where you just hear that, like, piercing tinnitus sound and I'm just, like, falling under the tank?
0:09I'm like, my life. I'm like, flashbang. I think that he had a flashbang.
0:09Holy shit. God. Tell me what you think of Sal's team, for God's sake.
0:09Well, I like Jordan Tyson. I like that. Jordan Tyson.
0:09I like it. He's been paying attention. I think he's great.
0:09I like it. He'll be out for a little bit.
0:09Throw him in the IR. I'll be fine. Two starting receivers and then two rookies who both have been basically injured for all of us.
0:09Oh, wow. I just want to go one for two with the rookie receivers.
0:09Every year there's one really good rookie receiver. It'll be Mekhiar Lemon.
0:09How... Sorry. I have a two out of three chance.
0:09How do you feel about Sal getting the starting Packers running back in round 13?
0:09That's the correct thing. That's exactly what you should do.
0:09That's really nice. It's rational. What's wrong with that?
0:09Well, I mean, you took the Packers back, you know.
0:09Boomers or anything? I know. Okay. Good question, actually.
0:09You guys are X's, right? He's going to train me.
0:09You guys are X's. Boomers just more derogatory. I've got Dak.
0:09Boomers just more derogatory. Boomers are parents. Yeah. My parents are boomers.
0:09Pretty thin. We're Wunderweight? X? Pretty thin right now, guys.
0:09We're Gen X. We're the best generation. Oh, what do you think in here?
0:09Fuck yeah. We don't trust other people. Right. I feel like I should be trusting.
0:09Ben Stiller. Let's see. Oh, I asked. Oh, okay.
0:09What? Malz? All right. You're going Denver strong here.
0:09You've got Knicks. You've got the Broncos. I think the Broncos are going to be good.
0:09All right. Let's see. Heifetz only taking one QB was spectacular.
0:09It's an incredible moment that we'll all remember until we die.
0:09It's like, I've just got to get back to both of you.
0:09What are we talking about? One of those formative things.
0:09I'm going to be starting Bryce Young against the Seahawks.
0:09He's going to be like minus seven. You're going to go back home.
0:09As far as Netflix betrayals go. Oh, that's good.
0:09Top ones. Yeah. Gainwell. What was that show with Kyle Chandler?
0:09Oh, yeah. Bloodlines. Bloodlines. Bloodlines. That was good. Another pick of mine you like?
0:09This was worse. House of Cards. He got shot out of the subway.
0:09House of Cards. Very good. I'll just note that that's another pick of mine that DK liked.
0:0913 for 13. Craig would have made a real big noise if Kenneth Gainwell, if he hadn't seen Kenneth Gainwell go.
0:09Craig calls him the best player in the NFL.
0:09Wait until he comes back and sees that I took him.
0:09He did catch a 55-1 two-touchdown bet that I put on television.
0:09What do you think of Sean's team? I think Sean's done a good job, and I'm proud of him, considering he's been pretending he doesn't follow football.
0:09I know he does. Dad? I'm just so under-equipped compared to you guys.
0:09I might get punished. After eviscerating Danny to open this up.
0:09I think he did a spectacular, spectacular job. Yeah, it was a heel turn.
0:09Of heel turning us. He watches football. He follows it.
0:09He listens to multiple football podcasts. It made it seem like he was going to draft Hans Zimmer or something.
0:09He watches the sport. I see him talk about the sport.
0:09Woody. Woody Marks. I like Woody. Defense? Yeah, why not?
0:09No defense. Are we doing that as a bit now, or is this just happening?
0:09Sure. Oh, that's nice. Thanks, Hans. Now I'm not good.
0:09They play the Jets and the Dolphins. We're going to have a good defense.
0:09That's four times. That's a good pick. How significant will the fall off for the Patriots be this year?
0:09We're going to be good. You cheating, Chris? Is the defense going to be better than last year?
0:09I think so. Are you cheating? Yeah. I mean, the schedule is hard.
0:09What are you Googling? I have us 11 and 6.
0:0911 is still good. 11 will be phenomenal in the Super Bowl angle over here.
0:09Who just won? I can't say it. Raven? It's a three-win draft.
0:09I had to decide between the Ravens and the Patriots.
0:09Yeah, that's what I was deciding. And the problem is the Ravens get to play the Browns twice.
0:09Raven's schedule is a cakewalk. I was like, whichever one you picked, I was going to pick the other one.
0:09So it was an even split. Bigsby. All right.
0:09Bigsby. All right. Smart pick. Smart. Great. There he is.
0:09We can put James team up on the screen.
0:09Ooh. Craig. There we go. We all look to you to say best player in the league and then realize you had gone to take a piss.
0:09He was a tough timing. If we put James team up.
0:09Van's got the blue running backs. Oh, Bigsby. Damn it.
0:09This is the receivers. So you've got Travis. You've got Judkins and then Charbonnet and Tank Bigsby.
0:09Yeah. Okay. I'm planning on Barkley to unfortunately get injured early in the season.
0:09Okay. The hand... Okay. So you're just basically trying to fuck over Van.
0:09100%. I love... Listen, I also love Iran Barkley.
0:09He's not the only motherfucker. You know, we actually tried to have one of the punishments be Van...
0:09You have to box Van. Oh, no. And we were talked out of it.
0:09Oh. But... Because we were told you were going to beat the shit in.
0:09He's kind of the biggest person here. No. What if he picked that?
0:09How would that work? All shoulders spying. Does well against boxing.
0:09Jiu-jitsu. I'll take that down. Jiu-jitsu. Not going to the ground with anyone.
0:09It's a different world down there. Oh, yeah. You only have to do that shit your day.
0:09You're taking... Debo. You son of a bitch. I was just going to take him.
0:09He loves Debo this year. Now do I have to take courtesy about that?
0:09I thought about that. Allin. Who's the best fat wide receiver ever?
0:09Oh, that's a fun question. Probably... Fat wide receiver.
0:09Chunky wide outs. The best one ever. Kelvin... You have to go back to...
0:09Oh, yeah. Kelvin Benjamin. Kelvin Benjamin, I think. Kelvin Benjamin.
0:09That's a good one. Yeah, he was fat the entire time.
0:09He was like a tight end body playing receiver.
0:09Right. That's an amazing ball. Eddie Lacy, fat is right.
0:09That's the best answer. Yeah. See what happens? He was a thick man.
0:09Keenan Allen. I'm trying to think of another one now.
0:09Besides Debo. I'm trying to think of actually another guy.
0:09They'll stick like that. I'm saying he's a one-on-one.
0:09Yeah. Who'd you take, DK? Keenan Allen? Okay. I think he's still got it.
0:09But he's never fast, so it doesn't matter. Right.
0:09Just gets open, and he has a lot of targets every year.
0:09Let's go to Seattle, where Bryce Young has thrown his fourth intercept.
0:09Who's their backup? You should get him. He's Kenny Pickett.
0:09Oh, my God. It's not that bad. They'll just play the injury music the entire game.
0:09Just in case. Kenny two gloves. You know, what could go wrong, really?
0:09Your entire season. Yeah. No technology. There's no more defense.
0:09Every good defense is gone. What are you doing?
0:09You fucking need that shit now. I'm texting my daughter.
0:09She had a scrimmage today. Oh. That's nice. They won three to two.
0:09She's gone. She's doing that. She's doing that. What a bunch of bullshit.
0:09A.K.A. Matthew Barry. We're supposed to believe you? She scored a lefty flick goal, she said.
0:09So you said. What do you like in the late round?
0:09I was like. All right, Heifetz. Let's not take 10 minutes.
0:09All right. I think I'm going to capitulate. Next year, anyone who claims they're texting instead of Googling should have to, like, I'll show you the text.
0:09Cast it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Onto the broadcast. Finley scored on a free kick, and Brady had to go off a corner kick.
0:09You're showing us a text where the last texts are not from you, even though we just saw you hit send.
0:09Today, 12-15. Uh-huh. Finley. It's one. Shout out to Finley.
0:09Oh, Will Levis is still on the board. What were you guys thinking?
0:09Yeah. That's all code for take the injured wide receiver from ISU.
0:09Oh, yeah. Will Levis is here. Oh, yeah. Will Levis.
0:09You got to be thinking a little bit. Just draft two and now.
0:09You're not taking Aaron Rodgers. Who are you going to take?
0:09Dan Ward. Oh, he's going to panic. We did something.
0:09Penix! Isn't he not the starter? That's kind of a nice pick.
0:09Penix rising. He's not the starter, though, right? He's in the start with one.
0:09My hedge against Michael Penix is fourth ACL tear.
0:09I think he's going to be the hungry caterpillar next year.
0:09Congratulations. I'm going to be the hungry caterpillar. Because I kind of realized if I didn't take a defense, you guys were
0:09going to do the defense thing, and I was going to get stuck with 77 hot dogs.
0:09It's only 76. Don't worry. That's what I'm doing.
0:09Next year's draft. Eat everything it is. I'm taking the hungry caterpillar.
0:09What did the hungry caterpillar eat in the book?
0:09Who remembers? Yeah. So the punishment list. I basically was like worried you guys would do that again with the punishments.
0:09With buns or no buns? So I'm taking a punishment.
0:09So I'm going to be next year. If I come in last, I'm going to have to be the hungry caterpillar next year's draft.
0:09To eat all the hungry caterpillars shit. But there's going to be a punishment run at some point.
0:09And all you turn on me, you're going to turn on each other with these punishment suits.
0:09Because someone's going to... All right. Come on. What is the caterpillar eat?
0:09Do you know? It's like some apples or something.
0:09And then the chapter is the entire Bradshaw's book.
0:09What? You're about to make a speech. No, I'm just ready to go.
0:09Cupcakes. Yeah, everybody's ready to go. I just peed.
0:09I feel good. Let's go. It's pretty good. Everything he ages is awesome.
0:09I'm doing Chris Rodriguez on the Jags. Great. He's actually pretty good.
0:09Good job. Enjoy. He was so good. Yeah, because he had three runs.
0:09Oh, that's right. You did the slits. Yeah. That was less cowardly than my pick.
0:09That was good. You're like, I'm going to cut him.
0:09All right. Jonah Coleman. Fucking cut that guy. Nice.
0:09I like that pick. Good job. This is just taking my sleepers now.
0:09Good pick. That's fine. Your sleepers. Your sleepers? Year of sleepers.
0:09Now we're flying. That's right. I can't believe Heifetz didn't take Cam Ward.
0:09I think Cam Ward's going to suck. I think Michael Penix could actually be good.
0:09I think so. But you could have taken him after Michael Penix because you have Bryce Young and Michael Penix as your quarterback.
0:09I want three quarterbacks. Then who's going to be the Caterpillar?
0:09Exactly. 49ers defense to Van. Ellis, you guys in that defense, Van?
0:09Yeah. Do you need running backs? Put Warner's back.
0:09Heifetz, you took the Caterpillar? That's the key. Yeah, I took the Caterpillar.
0:09The backer. I'm waiting to see when the punishment run is going to start.
0:09You have to eat 77 hot dogs in a month here.
0:09That sounds wonderful. I'll do that just for fun.
0:09Joel's going to have a tough time. It's two hot dogs a day, basically.
0:09That's fine. One in the morning. No butt? And one in the afternoon.
0:09You only take a punishment run if you're afraid to lose.
0:09Period. How's my draft that just to do it?
0:09Do you have to eat it like just nut?
0:09You have to dip it in the water? I mean, it's preferable.
0:09There you go. You did it. I think that makes it a lot of good.
0:09All right, little Washington. Are you hearing good things about that?
0:09We're flying. Dave takes Chica Cuonco, the tight end from Washington.
0:09And then Kate takes Tajay Spears, the running back from the tight end.
0:09That's the first player I've not heard of in this draft.
0:09Which one? Tajay Spears. He's good. He's the Tony Pollard insurance.
0:09He's the one player. I'm not ready for this, but I know 300 NFL players.
0:09I mean, there you go. Everybody here had heard of him, right?
0:09Every other person here? I've never heard of him.
0:09No, I didn't know who was. Joe, that's where I was going.
0:09That's the middle. I guess I got to make my second choice there.
0:09Nope, that's not who I want. I didn't want to double up with her.
0:09Jake's off the board. I didn't even realize. Jake Ferguson's off the board?
0:09Yeah, Craig picked him. You could have had him at 11.
0:09Yeah, but then I would have had your team.
0:09Can we put Craig's team up? Craig came in last, last year.
0:09Can we put Craig's team up here on the board?
0:09But not five points. Still still in the punishment.
0:09Correct. I got seven. It was your fault. No, you didn't.
0:09The hot dogs is pretty funny. All right, so Craig has James Cook and Chase Brown at running back.
0:09And I have voice crackers. I don't even know what happened.
0:09I'm nervous. Luther Byrd and Drake May. Devont Adams, Parker Washington, Henderson, Warren.
0:09Craig, which of these guys is going to fuck you?
0:09That's the funniest one. Oh, God. What do we make of Craig's list?
0:09Nice. I mean, I don't know. They don't even use that.
0:09Trivia on television was a thing that was probably the one that's going to happen.
0:09What was the old joke you guys just made?
0:09Craig's list. Craig's. Oh, yeah. Oh, Craig's list. Remember Craig's list?
0:09Yeah, I heard of it. I never bought anything on Craig's list.
0:09Ah, damn. Really? I thought I got my first apartment out here on Craig's list.
0:09Damn, my whole apartment is bad. No defense and no kickers.
0:09It's a little bit darker on Craig's list. There's a dead body.
0:09That was the most interesting thing about Craig's list.
0:09Watching people have missed connections on them. I think so, too.
0:09They were fascinating. Craig's list had missed connections? There was a whole part of Craig's list where, like, if you saw somebody,
0:09but you didn't say something, you can go in there and put it on there in hopes that they would see it and then reach out.
0:09You were dressed like a hungry caterpillar. You were getting all the food from the book.
0:09I never got your name. If you see this, reach out.
0:09Reach out. With me, we'll become butterflies. Sorry about Bradshaw.
0:09Procedural question about the punishments? Yes. The trick-or-treating, my choice of neighborhood or your choice?
0:09Or, like, the winner's choice? Danny Kelly loves my team.
0:09Good to know. You have to get ten items from ten houses.
0:09The only Ravens who left what I was actually sad about.
0:09From anywhere. What if I send you to, like, the Denver Lane Bloods Hood or something like that?
0:09We're going to find out if CR, you're really existing.
0:09Where was Jed York? I'm going to go there.
0:09It's in East Palestine, Ohio. He's going to teach him to dance.
0:09He's brother-de-o-miss. This was a miracle. I took a big gamble.
0:10Oh, he fell to you? Oh, for real? I really needed Mike Washington on the Raiders as Gentee backup.
0:10And I thought something was going to fuck me.
0:10But y'all fell asleep. And now I have his backup.
0:10I should have told him. That is a good pick.
0:10That's a nice pick. I thought Mal was going to come right in there and ram it.
0:10I'm going to take Mike Washington. I'm going to take his.
0:10So can we just point out that Bill literally is a league where you have to start three receivers.
0:10You're not going to be able to play. I mean, I guess Lemon is your third?
0:10Still does not have... Bill has... Yeah, I was going to say you have Tyson and Makai Lemon, but Tyson's out two and a half months.
0:10So you have Lemon if he plays. Heifetz. Are you talking about somebody else's draft strategy?
0:10Just want to make sure. You like it. You're into it.
0:10Yeah. Oh, my gosh. My neighbors are great. I'll just...
0:10They'll be like, give me a fucking table. Can I have some candy?
0:10You have to say trick-or-treat. Go talk to people.
0:10Well, whatever. I'll just be like, why are you here on the Super Bowl?
0:10You say I'm trick-or-treating. Aren't the Eagles playing later?
0:10I'll be like, yeah. About to go. I thought you were going to sell your ass on the street when you wrote Tricks there.
0:10Tricks are what horse do for money. Can't say I'm super familiar with this guy.
0:10Who are we taking? Oh, yeah. Nice. I like that.
0:10Who are we taking? Jalen Knoll. Jalen Knoll in the Houston Texans.
0:10Chris, what race is Jalen Knoll? I see human beings.
0:10Sean, sorry. There you go. Jesus Christ. I don't see color.
0:10I don't see color. I don't see color. I don't see color.
0:10You know a lot of white dudes named Jalen?
0:10Name of fatter black receiver than Jalen Knoll. Is there a white Jalen?
0:10No, I've never seen one before. Ever. Oh, that's great.
0:10Jalen? It's got to be a white Jalen. I haven't seen one before.
0:10It's got to be a white Jalen. We only had Khalil Green.
0:10Is there a white Tate? Who's the most famous white Jalen?
0:10I mean, Tate is only white people, right? No, there's a lot of black Tates, too.
0:10First name? Lorenz Tate, I guess, is the last name.
0:10That's last name. Lorenzo Tate. That's the last name.
0:10First name Tate. No, wait. Sal took the Packers.
0:10Sal took the Packers. It's December. It's in December.
0:10I gotta say, it's all coming up Simmons. I'm late because...
0:10Nobody took Rashid Shahid for some reason. Oh, Rashid?
0:10And he's fucking good. Yeah, that's a good pick.
0:10I'm happy to have him on my team, and I might start him in week one.
0:10You might have to. Because I literally might have him.
0:10I'm going to see your three. Welcome. Stay healthy.
0:10Now you have three. I love this guy. Now you have three.
0:10When they traded for... Remember? I texted you immediately.
0:10I was like, Jesus Christ. He's fast. This is exciting.
0:10I'm happy right now. You can run. I'm breaking my Raven's rule because this guy's going to roll.
0:10Wait, Jacoby? Yep. Jacoby lane. Oh. High upside. Another pick to Eddie Kelly likes.
0:10Can't miss. Here we go. First practice squad got taken.
0:10I don't remember getting there. Right? We'll see. All right.
0:10I think he's on the extended roster. I don't follow football.
0:10I'm not familiar with these players. I'm taking Jack Beck.
0:10Oh, Jack Beck. Is that how he bounces? He might not actually know.
0:10It's called Beck. Jack Bash. Jack Bash. I thought it was French.
0:10Jack Bash. Jack Bash. LSU. Is he the number one receiver on the Raiders?
0:10He could be. He might be. By default. Probably going to be...
0:10It's him or Trey Tucker. Hmm. Probably. Familiar with Trey's work.
0:10Yeah, yeah. I've enjoyed Jack's work with preseason. Baker.
0:10Oh, Jalen McMillen. It's the year of the Baker.
0:10Jalen McMillen. All right. We're cruising now. Chris Godwin.
0:1036? 138. I mean... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
0:10Where's it? What are you doing, bro? He's warming up.
0:10I kept getting up. I had to take it up.
0:10My favorite game of the year outside of Sal.
0:10Oh, yeah. We got Calvin Ridley. Oh, my God.
0:10Is he still league? I know. Incredible. He's on the Titans.
0:10Nice. Did you just say my favorite gambler outside of Sal?
0:10Yeah. On to the left. It's kind of a banger.
0:10That's a great job. All right. James up. Wonderful.
0:10Pick another quarterback just for fun? I wish. Do you regret joining this league yet?
0:10No, no, no, no, no, no. Chang's having the best time.
0:10I'm having a great time. He loves this. I'm having a great time.
0:10His pick time counter is by far the lowest, I think.
0:10Oh, absolutely. So we talk shit during the season.
0:10Do I have to talk shit to your assistant and then they'll tell you?
0:10And then what happens? You're lucky if you're lucky.
0:10What do I do when I get your phone there, man?
0:10I don't know. They print it out. It's a fucking great response.
0:10Dylan Samson. Man, who do you got? Yep. Okay.
0:10The best available. There are some players that have fallen.
0:10I know. Rashad White. Rashad White just sitting there?
0:10No one likes that guy. Oh, speaking of that.
0:10Rashad White got hurt during the ice bucket challenge.
0:10Is that why Van and Tay? Is that why you guys didn't do the ice bucket challenge when we tagged you?
0:10It's Tay's fault. No, I did the ice bucket challenge.
0:10The best thing he's got going on. The only person that I ever had.
0:10You just didn't do the ice bucket challenge. Wait.
0:10We tagged you. Why didn't you genuinely do the ice bucket challenge?
0:10No, there's only one guy who hasn't done it.
0:10I'm being for real. Tay didn't want to do it.
0:10I did it. I sent the video in. You did it after we sent the video in.
0:10Joey didn't send the video in. You guys all did it for nothing?
0:10For nothing. Why can't you do it? We haven't done it yet.
0:10We just dumped water on your head for no reason.
0:10I was like, yes. Allegedly. Man hates charity. You guys legitimately, we were all set to do it.
0:10And then Tate said, it's too much. Look at me.
0:10I don't want to do it. He's sticking to his side.
0:10This is actually a really good lesson. You should always stick to your story.
0:10You two fuckers. Oh my God. It's not about politics, guys.
0:10We've got to be able to come together and disagree.
0:10You know what I mean? Is this what I used to run here?
0:10Hold on. Oh, that's good. He's not even that good in his world.
0:10Did he fall off last year? He's terrible. So.
0:10I hope I'm spelling this right. Yeah. So, Vin, can you elaborate on Harrison Bucker as your kicker?
0:10This is my dream. Well, I mean, look, I'm trying to make the type of world that I want to see.
0:10You can just do it. Oh, man. I fucking miss having hair.
0:10Go ahead and just do it. Can we put Deke going to Turkey?
0:10Can we, like, put that on, like, a sense of...
0:10Let's do your trades plans. That's different. I think it might be too late.
0:10Yeah. But there's some great toupee content on Instagram.
0:10I'll send you some real stuff. It's interesting. I get a lot of haircuts.
0:10It's something hard. Turkey day. My algorithm is vast.
0:10Oh, shit. Deke, you can get it out of the way.
0:10Just wear a toupee to some of your live shows this season.
0:10You guys are doing a few. You just not say anything about it.
0:10Just show up with a toupee. Bill, what do you think about Van taking Bucker?
0:10Excuse me. I don't see any judgment in fantasy.
0:10It's a group of randomly collected people. James Cook?
0:10No, it's not always random. I don't have to worry about a locker room.
0:10Who's the backup to... People not getting along. ATN, A-Chan on New Orleans.
0:10It's like Camara, but he's hurt. No, he's not on...
0:10Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, but he's not... He's hurt.
0:10Yeah. Kendra Miller. Kendra Miller. I had him for a minute last season.
0:10That sucks for me. It's like South still really wants somebody.
0:10I'm trying to think. Well, now it's the punishment.
0:10No, it's the punishment and kicker. No, you don't have a kicker yet.
0:10How long is Camara out? Like, a couple months?
0:10No, I... How many rookies? One month. All right, I'm taking the Chargers defense.
0:10They're just not as into him as they used to be.
0:10Tyson and Lemon. That's good. No. And I have Mike...
0:10He's been in the league a long time. And they used to...
0:10I took your Chargers defense. I know. I mean...
0:10I'm probably fucked up. Not as much as handling the ball, but he was getting a million touches.
0:10Where did he go to college? Tennessee. Third round.
0:10Because if I didn't get... Really? Oh. If I didn't get Washington.
0:10Tennessee had him. They also had... Like, probably screwed.
0:10Incredible guys, like, back-to-back that were Arian Foster. All right.
0:10Who's the best guy? Because Breeze Hall is literally hurt.
0:10Jamal Lewis. Oh, yep. 2005. Prime Jamal Lewis. Bad man.
0:10So, Craig is... I want to know when people start taking punishments.
0:10Are you doing punishments now? I think it's about to get through punishments.
0:10We got traded to the right. We did it.
0:10People have been taking them. Okay, that's true. I'm going to do the hot beer, cold hot dogs.
0:10That's fucking gross, man. That's disgusting. The punishments... Fucking...
0:10So, Craig's taking... We eat hot dogs and cold beer, and you have cold dogs and hot beer.
0:10That's fucking... I gotta say, not worried about the punishment.
0:10Me neither. Yeah. Same way. Me neither. I like my team.
0:10That's just because you're not going to do it.
0:10I want to stand by my guy. It doesn't matter what...
0:10The punishment could mean to give ice cream to children.
0:10And you would not know if you lost. You wouldn't have been an ice fucking challenge.
0:10That was Tate's fault. I'm for honest. You guys.
0:10Show me the video. You're lying. You're lying. Yo.
0:10We... I swear. I have the video. You want to see my video?
0:10I have the video. We have to make this all a tailgate.
0:10We have to make... I'll show you the video.
0:10By the time... And then answer his video. After we...
0:10What are you saying? This is gasoline. I'm not using technology.
0:10I'm showing a video to be real. I'm playing from Terry.
0:10DK, you're up taking it. I'm up taking it.
0:10So the punishment's left. DK, you took a bald cap and you're going to do toupee.
0:10I'm the hungry caterpillar. We're playing this on the protest.
0:10I was going to take a picture. And then I'm breaking the rules.
0:10We did it. Oh my God. He did it.
0:10So what did you expect? What did you expect?
0:10What did you expect? He did. I don't know.
0:10You guys know the timeline on how this happened.
0:10Van, you're up by the way. Did he take a...
0:10Did Van take a... He did take a punishment.
0:10Van has the vanilla ice eyebrows slits. I hope it happens.
0:10What was with that? What you mean? The vanilla ice.
0:10That was before my time. He slid in his eyebrows.
0:10He didn't invent that. Yeah, he didn't. Other people did that?
0:10Oh, sure. Yeah, plenty of people. Vanilla ice didn't do shit that a black man didn't do first.
0:10Gene Hackman had them? Gene Hackman had slits in their...
0:10Yeah. You never saw French Connection? Van, Tucker Carlson's available if you want.
0:10Have you not seen French Connections? Damn. Carlson. I'm taking Kaysha.
0:10Nice. All right. Texans. That's kind of crazy. Booty?
0:10I thought about him. Yeah. Who are you taking?
0:10Not about Booty. This is the right range for him.
0:10Just because you missed on Diggs and you're mad about the freak factor.
0:10No, I like him. He's good. Do you have any stories you can tell on air?
0:10Other Pats fans love him. Oh, man. About Kaysha.
0:10He was betting on games under his own name.
0:10Really? Awesome. Bet on yourself. Bet on yourself. That's awesome.
0:10Good for him. Tanked out? Tanked out. I like that.
0:10Leaving the punishment? There. Another one leaving the punishment.
0:10A little bit quicker. Joel's doing my punishment. Man, I was...
0:10Honestly, I'm going to crowdsource the first one. I was looking for him.
0:10The Buckner thing should be rescinded. You're looking for Dale?
0:10I was looking for Fairbair. House going naked punishment for the last round.
0:10Wow. House didn't get... Oh, House. All the punishments that are left, I'm into.
0:10Oh, man. They're all freaks. I actually think these guys are actually underrated kickers.
0:10They're all freaks. Fairbairn's actually. Fairbairn can also do the 70s.
0:10Fairbairn's good. I think if you took him in the seventh round, still underrated.
0:10I can't tell everyone's going to say that. I love that when it's like, kickers in the eighth round are done, everyone's like, fuck that guy.
0:10No quarterbacks for him. I've always wanted Brandon Aubrey.
0:10Wow. We got it. Wow. For my whole life.
0:10That's good. Damn. Chris Boswell. Oh, the Bods. Most clutch kicker in the league.
0:10Good. Now, defending champion. I dare you to pick a player I don't want.
0:10So what are you going to... How are we going to do this?
0:10Easy. He throws up Deshaun Watson. They only rank 10 kickers.
0:10DK, your favorite kicker. An old Jake. An old Jake Bates.
0:10I know everything about Jake Bates. A piece of that offense.
0:10He used to sell bricks. Bill, you're up. I had two guys I like, but they're both available.
0:10Need a kicker? Tough. Tough. Backup kicker. Stinking hard.
0:10Do you want the papers? No. We're in our...
0:10Who wants to leave? What's that? What is it?
0:10What is your move? He's really thinking about this.
0:10You want another quarterback? I do. Oh, they're hitting under all the kick red.
0:10Yeah, there's a lot of... Where are the yellow stickers?
0:10I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
0:10I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jeez. It's still funny to me.
0:10Okay. All right. Oh, my God. You know what?
0:10Fun. Let's disrupt your concentration. Nah. He just shouldn't still be available.
0:10I would never wish injury on a player, but I do think it's going to be so funny when Bryce Young breaks both arms in week one.
0:10I wrote. Incredible contact. That's a good pick, Bill.
0:10I think so, isn't it? It's just a scadaboo short.
0:10Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is. And Naji Harris. They have a good offensive line.
0:10They're pretty good. All right. That was what's up.
0:10What do you got? This whole fellow farm. Wow, you fucked me on that one, Bill.
0:10That run Tracy? He's got to go back to the lab now and figure out what he's got.
0:10Go ahead. Say something. Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, see?
0:10He got this. See? Oh, my God. Incredible. Reply.
0:10So, yeah, whoever loses has to run this next year, right?
0:10Yeah. Yeah, so get ready to do it again.
0:10That's really the downside. Pockets? Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
0:10Pockets size. And then... You get a punish. You need a punish.
0:10I have a trick. Oh, you have the trick.
0:10That's right. That's right. Sorry. You need a kicker?
0:10I got a kicker. Dicker. Yeah, I got a dicker.
0:10Kicker. Well, you can just do whatever you want now.
0:10A lot of dead air. We're at the end of the ruin here.
0:10Sean. Do you regret participating in this event today?
0:10I've had a great time. As always, a class organization.
0:10Yeah, I need one, too. Pleased with everything. Amazing.
0:10Supremely well-robed. Wish I didn't eat that spicy falafel.
0:10Could have done without that. Aside from that. That had been sitting out for a little less unclear period of time.
0:10That was from two days ago. All right. You can prepare it.
0:10Oh, Trey Tucker. We'll split it. Sal, don't take that one.
0:10Give it to me. No, I look forward to it.
0:10What do you mean? You can prepare it. I'm going to make it delicious.
0:10Are you going to eat your other thing? I might do this tonight.
0:10Prepared by Dave Chang. How good is that? I'm not making it out of the way down.
0:10I'm so upset. There's other eating... They're still talking about his hog farm when you eat it.
0:10What's wrong with the hog farm? That's like a rule.
0:10You can't talk about Terry's hog farm. Who's hog farm?
0:10It's like a rule. Yeah, it's a rule. I'm taking for my punishment four hours of Pat McAfee's album.
0:10Oh! That would be a treat. That's great. Really?
0:10Just for the awful announcing post that they'll try to make it seem like...
0:10...slamming back. It's like, no, it's a fucking fantasy punishment, you losers.
0:10Slam. Damn. There are a couple of punishments here that I think are exciting, so I'm torn.
0:10That's not a punishment. I mean, that's kind of one.
0:10Do I want the two cans of cold soup?
0:10Delicious. Winner picks the soup. Could the winner pick, like, clam chowder?
0:10Yeah, absolutely. I'm going chicken corn chowder. It's totally fine.
0:10You keep some, like, Imodium AD on hand, you're good to go.
0:10Clam chowder. Clam chowder's got to be the worst.
0:10Chowder's fine. Cold clam chowder. The hot dogs. The 76 hot dogs in 30 days is interesting to me.
0:10What? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
0:10Yeah! Do it. Wow. I know I take the list, but I mean, I love a hot dog.
0:10I'm going to do it. Do I get to decide how they're prepared?
0:10Like a nice grill? I honestly think my wife would have picked that in the first round and then take the draft.
0:10Is this what I use for this? I have to.
0:1176 dogs. There's a cap zone. Now you could do it all at Camden Yards, too.
0:11That would be great. Exactly. Sounds great. Wash it down with some dogs.
0:1176. Three hours. That's not bad. Hot dogs. Not good.
0:11Okay, so the punishment so far, we have Bill is going, again, if you come in last place, Bill is going to
0:11listen to the Pat McAfee album on repeat. I'm excited.
0:11During NFL Sunday. I might do that even after I win.
0:11Bill's going to do two and a half hot dogs a day for an entire month.
0:1176. However you get to 76 in a month.
0:11That's a crazy amount of hot dogs. Fucking nuts.
0:11Chris, you're going to go trick or treating and have to, not Halloween, not even October, and you have to collect 10 items from 10 different houses.
0:11No problem. We can't dress up that. Sean is no punishment in the seventh round.
0:11Tate does not have a punishment yet on the board.
0:11Joel. You are rich. I'm sorry. Joel's not. Joel's doing your punishment for you.
0:11The beauty is that Joel, I did the drafts.
0:11He's doing the punishment. There's no accountability on that show.
0:11Van says you didn't do that ALS. You said.
0:11Did you see the evidence? Yeah, you did do it.
0:11You didn't see the evidence. Okay. DK is going to wear to pay if he comes.
0:11He might do that anyway. Craig, you're going to do hot beer, cold dogs.
0:11I'm going to dress as the hunky caterpillar next year.
0:11And then Van's doing vanilla ice, eyebrow slits. And then Chang and Tate and Joel have not picked punishments yet.
0:11Nor house, which I respect. I'm going to crowdsource Joel's punishment and see what you guys think.
0:11Anybody who picked a punishment before the last round should be ashamed.
0:11Even the tachet? Mal, pipe down. I want that.
0:11Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. You took it in the seventh round.
0:11Upside pick. Okay. Last pick. I was wondering if you were going to do that or Kenyon.
0:11His house retired from house eats. Is that over?
0:11Kenyon Sadiq. Oh, no. No, it's a fade. Yesterday, a few days of the house, Danny Hyde has said to us after
0:11reporting that he could eat house under the table.
0:11Oh, yeah. And could do all you could eat sushi.
0:11I really wanted to take it, but it's scary.
0:11Oh, all you could eat sushi, you do not want to fuck with me.
0:11It seems like it's going to be amazing. I was just a liar.
0:11I wish I could have four hours. You had a good run.
0:11I'm still bigger than you. He said he would have your client.
0:11Sushi, you don't want to fuck with me. Because sushi, you do not want to fuck with me.
0:11I already invite myself on every Ringer podcaster, and look at how I dress.
0:11He's going as clown. He's going as clown. So, yes, that was what I wanted to do.
0:11This is whole professional clown makeup. Clown car wash.
0:11Yeah, we're going to end. Clown car wash. Clown car wash is an incredible.
0:11You have to do that at least for worse contracts.
0:11Oh, my God. Everybody is. I'll come on the watch.
0:11Absolutely. What are you talking about everyone's podcast? Jim upset with me for taking the punishment.
0:11People who have multiple pods, does he have to go on the left?
0:11Is everyone who's leading a podcast? Is everyone who's leading a podcast?
0:11Is everyone who's leading a person? Or does he have to go on Midnight Boys?
0:11Higher learning. You can go in the flare. Skip it.
0:11Go on. You have to watch a movie. I can't do that.
0:11You can't do it. We have to do it.
0:11What is that? Is that nice of you going to laugh?
0:11Is it pretty good, Joel? Yeah. You're sure here.
0:11Everyone has to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
0:11Yeah. You got to give me AJ Brown. So you're picking a player after Ben.
0:11Craig, you're picking a player after DK. And then Tate.
0:11You're giving me rice and soup. You're wasting upon Joel right now.
0:11So Joel can't watch the Super Bowl Live and he has to rewatch Tropic Thunder.
0:11Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good.
0:11Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. That is amazing.
0:11That was so funny. Can I, Sal and I want to do a trade already.
0:11He's very upset with me because I took his last place.
0:11I want to eat the book and he's going to have the soup.
0:11Okay? Is that okay? Yeah. Cold soup? Approved. Sure.
0:11Approved. Are you trading the punishments? Dave's going to prepare the book.
0:11He's very upset that I took his punishment. He's going to prepare a delicious book.
0:11Okay. You know what? I don't have the energy, but sure.
0:11That's... Wait, why are you foresting your punishment upon Joel?
0:11What is the reason for that? Because I did the draft.
0:11Yeah, we're sharing a team. Okay. I did the draft.
0:11He does the punishment. I'm going to make the sauce by burning the fucking book.
0:11It's going to be tremendous. So it's at least...
0:11I won't come in last place because that'll be Danny, but...
0:11Right. It's more than this, right? I don't know what chapter.
0:11You have to look. It's more than that. It's more than that.
0:11I guarantee you... These are really delicious. I'm going to take the fighting.
0:11I don't think... Okay. Good take. I'm going to make an invalid.
0:11I'm going to make an invalid. I'm going to make an invalid.
0:11What if it ends up being like good? Hey, yeah, he's going to do this.
0:11What we're going to do is... You guys are going to come on my show and I'll make the book and I'll do it anyway.
0:11Oh, that's good. I'm going to burn Terry's book on air.
0:11Hell yeah. And I'm going to turn it into a delicious sauce and we'll serve it on top of veal- Yes.
0:11Oh my God. That sounds like I love that.
0:11I love that. I want that. You fucking did it, guys.
0:11We did it. We did it. We did it.
0:11We did it. We did it. We did it.
0:11We did it. We did it. We did it.
0:11We did it. That's a good bet. Poor chef.
0:11Just go to arbitrage man. It's all about the value.
0:11Thank you everyone for not... Well I actually kind of met it before he did stab me in the heart.
0:11What was the worst part for you? I think it's why his voice broke when he said Verizon.
0:11That was pretty good. Thank you everyone for watching the probably the last ringer fantasy football.
0:11So who do we think had the best draft?
0:11Oh there we go. We should do both. Let's see some analysis in the end.
0:11Amongst us. Hmm. I mean... Let's see. I like Mal's team.
0:11Kinda hard to take it all in. Thank you.
0:11Thanks guys. Easy man. A guy with no punishment.
0:11The best draft, right? I think fantasy. I would say Dave's team if you just swapped Swift and Judkins I would kinda
0:11have no issue other than the kicker in the 8th round but it was close.
0:11Sort of. Danny you should have said Sean's team just to...
0:11Sal's team is pretty good. Sal doesn't have a lot of holes.
0:11Thank you brother. As usual. No holes. I'm super happy with my team.
0:11Thank you everyone. I'm confident. Wow what a shock.
0:11I really have wide receivers. Brandon Austin. Hey Danny.
0:11Great fucking job man. Yeah. Great job. Great job.
0:11Once again, kinda like when a toddler falls and everyone's like, oh it's okay.
0:11Thank you everybody for watching live on Netflix, the Ringer Fantasy Football Show.
0:11We have everybody here at the Ringer. Thank you everybody for watching and I will be here this time next year dressed as the Hungry Caterpillar.
0:11So please check that out. Thank you. Thank you.
0:11Once again, this was powered by Verizon. So thank you to Verizon, thank you to Netflix, thank you to Spotify.
0:11Look at the pro. They're never coming back. How did a pickle get over there?
0:11Goodbye everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states.
0:11For Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino. Or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming.
0:11Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut.
0:11Or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts.
0:11Or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.
0:11For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867.